Don't ever shave your dick.

Discussion in 'Overtime: Off-Topic Discussion' started by Shameless, Nov 15, 2012.

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  1. Shameless

    Shameless Friendship is magic!

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    We're all comfortable with our sexuality right? So let's talk about the unfortunate situation with my penis.

    So I was in the bathroom yesterday doing a little downstairs maintenance when I realized I was using the wrong razor/trimmer thingy to get the job done. As a result I buzzed off an entire lock of my pubes. As I was already a quarter of the way through I decided I might as well finish doing this, so I did. I felt like I had some sort of artistic eloquence, like someone who can tell the difference between real butter and I can't believe it's not butter. However I now realize I don't. My penis is just a blank canvas lacking emotion and expression. it also has no hair on it. I also hate shaving my ball hair, due to the fact that you have to squeeze your sack until it looks like some sort of fucked up yam to be effective with shaving hairs off but that's an entirely different story.

    If you decide to do a full shave, don't ever wear skinny jeans. When I was working my shaft and sack kept getting stuck to my legs and I had very little swinging room to situate myself due to the tightness of my clothing. I work with a team of 2-4 other people, not to mention my manager's walking around and checking on progress. Sticking my hands down there to readjust myself every 5 minutes was clearly not an option. The only way I could unstick myself was to do one hard thrust in the air. Imagine that weird Olympic event where those dudes run a short distance and then jump into that pit of sand. It's like an extremely un-athletic version of that with no sand. Another alternative was to just sneak off into the bathroom, and let myself hang free.

    Another thing is I have razor bumps like crazy. It looks like someone was playing minesweeper on it but lost. They go away but it still takes away the cosmetic value of a well groomed (and in this case, fully exposed) pelvic region. When I watch porn the last thing I want to see are razor bumps, missed and soon forgotten hairs, and some dipshit who doesn't know how to stay out of the shot with his camera.

    So, has anyone else had an unfortunate experience shaving?
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  2. LungZzZ

    LungZzZ Well-Known Member

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  3. KRich662

    KRich662 Well-Known Member

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  4. tomcruzmomshoes

    tomcruzmomshoes 3nv1

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    Straightest. Topic. Ever.
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  5. Ravenous510

    Ravenous510 Well-Known Member

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    Bro....I always shave my pubes. Makes my dick look bigger. Shit works, bros.

    Like Shameless mentioned, though, make sure to use the right tool for the job. You wanna use the same clippers you use on the hair on your head. Those work the best. If you're not careful, you can give yourself folliculitis, and then you might mistake the folliculitis for herpes, and end up going to the doctor and having a cantakerous old man gently fondle your balls and poke at the bump on your shaft, only to tell you that you have folliculitis, (ingrown hair follicle), which will go away on its own as long as you don't keep shaving so vigorously.

    Fo' real, bros.
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  6. JoeyButtons

    JoeyButtons Yooo

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    yeah mayne ya boi joe buttons shaves his pubes off to, it sucks when girls laugh at me so the xtra cm or so helps a lot when ur shit is 3.5 in hard
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  7. J Keeper

    J Keeper Super Jesus

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    Baby powder.

    It's a life saver for folks with IBS post shaving.

    That's itchy ball syndrome, not irritable bowel syndrome.
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  8. Envy

    Envy Song Writer / Artist.

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    Sounds like a personal experience?
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  9. Spaghetti

    Spaghetti Pasta God

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    pics please... for reference
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  10. 12345678

    12345678 New Member

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    im pretty sure women dont actually like all these men who shave off all thier body hair an shit
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  11. Marotta

    Marotta The Engineer

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    Even if you don't shave, never wear skinny jeans.
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  12. Shameless

    Shameless Friendship is magic!

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    have you met all women and confirmed this? Including the one im currently seeing that told me: "Oh it'd be cool if you trimmed/shaved off your pubes"?

    No?

    alright then.
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  13. Ravenous510

    Ravenous510 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah....no....seriously.....every woman I've ever met prefers hairlessness to a hirsute body. Every time. It makes it easier for them to drain your soul and leave you a whimpering mess.
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  14. J.A.W.

    J.A.W. Member

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    and then the next day you had a full bush again.

    story end.
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  15. 12345678

    12345678 New Member

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    lol im speakin generally not about every woman on the planet...
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  16. GraphicNature

    GraphicNature Well-Known Member

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    Im still trying to understand the part of the post that mentioned

    "When I watch porn the last thing I want to see are razor bumps, missed and soon forgotten hairs"

    What I wanna know is, why are you that focused on a cock and balls when your watching porn?
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  17. Shameless

    Shameless Friendship is magic!

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    i dont wanna see them on a woman or a man

    i love balls and cock though if that's what you're implying
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  18. GraphicNature

    GraphicNature Well-Known Member

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    Very well then.....Carry On
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  19. tomcruzmomshoes

    tomcruzmomshoes 3nv1

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    Have you ever met a woman? You dunno what you're talking about...
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  20. cheddah12

    cheddah12 Well-Known Member

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    Bwahaha fuckin bodied, I dont wear skinny jeans but I still know how awkward that shit is when you get razor bumps and you gotta scratch that shit all day smh. And bitches love trimmed pubes, shit my ex even used to shave that shit for me
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