great quotes from the inimitable bill walton!!!

Brahman · 04-24-2006, 01:39 PM

the udonis haslem thread inspired me to dedicate a whole thread to bill walton's funniest quotes... here are some ones that i've either remembered or found at similar threads from other boards.

post whatever ones i don't come up with and use this thread to post new ones from games in this year's playoffs...

"the ucla legend earl watson!"

"Kelvin Cato, the pride of Ohio State."

"The only man who can stop cliff robinson is cliff robinson. The man is unstoppable even at 38."

"this is jason kidd's world and we're all just living in it"

"Can someone pleeease make a shot"

"if anthony johnson ever gets a jumper who's gonna stop him?"

"in transition: the extension. the spread eagle. the posterization over the imaginary defender... the professors over at MIT couldn't diagram a more perfect model of a human being exploding to the rim" (after lebron's breakaway dunk on the detroit pistons)

"mike bibby just made the worst pass... in the history of western civilization!"

"Robert Horry is one of the greatest feeders of the post in the history of the game"

"little stevie nash is the most unathletic player in the league"

"eric piatkowski makes perhaps the greatest defensive play in clipper history!”

"Where would the La Clippers franchise be without Sean Rooks?"

"it will say on his tomb-stone... i won with the clippers" - on larry brown

"yao ming is the best thing to happen to the nba in a long time. he is just a beautiful person inside and out. the vision, the creativity, the gentleness of spirit … he has it all.” (during a game that didn't even involve the houston rockets)

"when i look at boris diaw, my mind travels back to the age of the romantics. beethoven, mozart, tchaikovsky... those are the spirits that dwell within this fine basketball player" (not what he said verbatim, but it was a hilarious quote... wish i had the transcript)

"It looked like they were moving forward when they bought out Shawn Bradley's contract. Now, they still have him. His name just changed to Erick Dampier."

"His left leg belongs in the Smithsonian" - On Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

"Shaq makes everyone else in the league look like Michel Tafoya"

"has darko become the man who starts 10,000 cars???"

"and that is why fans will be rushing to the voters booth to vote the kandi man the starting center of this years all-star game" (after olowokandi makes a nice turn-around jumper)

Bill Walton: Nice paaaassssssss (pass is intercepted)
Snapper: It would have been but the pass was picked off
Bill Walton: yeah but it was a good idea...

During a play, the ball was turned over 3 times in 10 seconds, but no one made contact with anyone
Walton: That has to be a foul.
Snapper: Against who?
Walton: Against the game of basketball.

"...and there's David Robinson, who has done so much for the league and w/o his accomplishments, none of us would be here." (Before Game 6 of the 2003 Finals)

"The art of tossing up the jump ball has really declined. These officials need to spend more time practicing in off-season."

During a Wolves/Sonics game... the Sonics had just acquired Elden Campbell:
"7 feet, who knows how many pounds on that big beautiful body of his"
"Look at Rasho Nesterovic back down the statuesque physique of Elden Campbell."
"The Sonics are on a 17-4 run since Elden Campbell has entered the game. Where would they be without this man."

"vladimir radmanovic's body must have been chiseled by greek gods"

"He's everywhere! Rebounds, Assists... Shawn Bradley is looking like Hakeem Olajuwan!"

"chris childs let the opportunity of having the best job in the world being kidds backup go away because he couldnt get himself away from the buffet table"

Brahman · 04-24-2006, 01:48 PM

they need to compile bill walton's greatest on-air moments and release a dvd

i would love to own that

the Prince · 04-24-2006, 02:42 PM

"It looked like they were moving forward when they bought out Shawn Bradley's contract. Now, they still have him. His name just changed to Erick Dampier."

i usually tune out the totem pole because he is ridiculously irritating, so its not much of a surprise that i havent experienced his words of wisdom first hand. i suppose ill have to pay attention when hes speaking from here on out

Iceodu921 · 04-24-2006, 03:02 PM

hes no chuck bark

Klas~Sick · 04-24-2006, 03:45 PM

if bill walton saw me play hed make a comment comparing me to michael jordan

Old Soul · 04-24-2006, 04:15 PM

During a play, the ball was turned over 3 times in 10 seconds, but no one made contact with anyone
Walton: That has to be a foul.
Snapper: Against who?
Walton: Against the game of basketball.

Ahahaha

ILLnSkILLz · 04-24-2006, 04:20 PM

i remember him talking about wade saying "Look at his physique, it is as if he were chisled straight from marble by the steady hands of Michaelangelo"

the Prince · 04-24-2006, 04:46 PM

wade has tremendous physique

swiss- · 04-24-2006, 04:52 PM

lol

for a typical walton response see the one i posted in the haslem thread

....BaSh.... · 04-24-2006, 06:14 PM

Bill Walton is the best commentator Reggie Miller is the weakest

Final Chapta · 04-24-2006, 06:31 PM

"when i look at boris diaw, my mind travels back to the age of the romantics. beethoven, mozart, tchaikovsky... those are the spirits that dwell within this fine basketball player" (not what he said verbatim, but it was a hilarious quote... wish i had the transcript)

nooooooooooooooooooooooooo homo

Ed E Brock · 04-24-2006, 07:02 PM

lmao...he's hillarious. I've never understood how people can't like the guy.

"It looked like they were moving forward when they bought out Shawn Bradley's contract. Now, they still have him. His name just changed to Erick Dampier."

hahaha

and foul against the game of basketball.

ILLnSkILLz · 04-24-2006, 07:05 PM

this just in... (real)

"The lack of V-8 juice consumed in the NBA is just APPAULING!"

chickenwang · 04-24-2006, 09:22 PM

its that ucla education baby!

Purple Haze · 04-24-2006, 11:33 PM

Barkley's > Walton's but some of these are pretty funny.

Speedy Gunzalez · 04-25-2006, 12:15 AM

I could've swore the western civilization comment was made in reference to John Stockton (being the greatest thing to happen to it).

Good job, Brah... those quotes are hilarious.

double ML · 04-25-2006, 07:52 AM

barkley > walton

but bill has his moments

like durin' a recent wizards game he said brendan haywood was reminiscent of hakeem olajuwon

DMeTRIUS · 04-25-2006, 11:36 AM

On Larry Johnson's lackluster performance in the NBA Finals: "What a pathetic performance by this sad human being. This is a disgrace to the game of basketball and to the NBA. He played like a disgrace tonight. And he deserved it."

More Larry Johnson railing: "Why would the Pacers ever double-team Larry Johnson? He wants to be double-teamed so he can pass. Why is Indiana double-teaming a man who only scores 8 points a game?"

"Memo to Paul Pierce and Antoine Walker: Couldn't you wait until at least the All-Star break to have the franchise suffer its worse loss in its storied history? Bill Russell just called looking for an address to send his 11 championship rings back to the Celtics because he is so disappointed."

04-24-2006, 01:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
Brahman Mel Van Peebles Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: 37th Chamber Posts: 17,275	great quotes from the inimitable bill walton!!! the udonis haslem thread inspired me to dedicate a whole thread to bill walton's funniest quotes... here are some ones that i've either remembered or found at similar threads from other boards. post whatever ones i don't come up with and use this thread to post new ones from games in this year's playoffs... "the ucla legend earl watson!" "Kelvin Cato, the pride of Ohio State." "The only man who can stop cliff robinson is cliff robinson. The man is unstoppable even at 38." "this is jason kidd's world and we're all just living in it" "Can someone pleeease make a shot" "if anthony johnson ever gets a jumper who's gonna stop him?" "in transition: the extension. the spread eagle. the posterization over the imaginary defender... the professors over at MIT couldn't diagram a more perfect model of a human being exploding to the rim" (after lebron's breakaway dunk on the detroit pistons) "mike bibby just made the worst pass... in the history of western civilization!" "Robert Horry is one of the greatest feeders of the post in the history of the game" "little stevie nash is the most unathletic player in the league" "eric piatkowski makes perhaps the greatest defensive play in clipper history!” "Where would the La Clippers franchise be without Sean Rooks?" "it will say on his tomb-stone... i won with the clippers" - on larry brown "yao ming is the best thing to happen to the nba in a long time. he is just a beautiful person inside and out. the vision, the creativity, the gentleness of spirit … he has it all.” (during a game that didn't even involve the houston rockets) "when i look at boris diaw, my mind travels back to the age of the romantics. beethoven, mozart, tchaikovsky... those are the spirits that dwell within this fine basketball player" (not what he said verbatim, but it was a hilarious quote... wish i had the transcript) "It looked like they were moving forward when they bought out Shawn Bradley's contract. Now, they still have him. His name just changed to Erick Dampier." "His left leg belongs in the Smithsonian" - On Kareem Abdul-Jabbar "Shaq makes everyone else in the league look like Michel Tafoya" "has darko become the man who starts 10,000 cars???" "and that is why fans will be rushing to the voters booth to vote the kandi man the starting center of this years all-star game" (after olowokandi makes a nice turn-around jumper) Bill Walton: Nice paaaassssssss (pass is intercepted) Snapper: It would have been but the pass was picked off Bill Walton: yeah but it was a good idea... During a play, the ball was turned over 3 times in 10 seconds, but no one made contact with anyone Walton: That has to be a foul. Snapper: Against who? Walton: Against the game of basketball. "...and there's David Robinson, who has done so much for the league and w/o his accomplishments, none of us would be here." (Before Game 6 of the 2003 Finals) "The art of tossing up the jump ball has really declined. These officials need to spend more time practicing in off-season." During a Wolves/Sonics game... the Sonics had just acquired Elden Campbell: "7 feet, who knows how many pounds on that big beautiful body of his" "Look at Rasho Nesterovic back down the statuesque physique of Elden Campbell." "The Sonics are on a 17-4 run since Elden Campbell has entered the game. Where would they be without this man." "vladimir radmanovic's body must have been chiseled by greek gods" "He's everywhere! Rebounds, Assists... Shawn Bradley is looking like Hakeem Olajuwan!" "chris childs let the opportunity of having the best job in the world being kidds backup go away because he couldnt get himself away from the buffet table" __________________ U Y d Z \ 卍卍卍卍卍卍卍亹见谷 ∞ 谷见亹 Last edited by Brahman; 04-24-2006 at 01:45 PM.

04-24-2006, 01:48 PM	#2 (permalink)
Brahman Mel Van Peebles Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: 37th Chamber Posts: 17,275	they need to compile bill walton's greatest on-air moments and release a dvd i would love to own that __________________ U Y d Z \ 卍卍卍卍卍卍卍亹见谷 ∞ 谷见亹

04-24-2006, 02:42 PM	#3 (permalink)
the Prince - Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 7,803	"It looked like they were moving forward when they bought out Shawn Bradley's contract. Now, they still have him. His name just changed to Erick Dampier." i usually tune out the totem pole because he is ridiculously irritating, so its not much of a surprise that i havent experienced his words of wisdom first hand. i suppose ill have to pay attention when hes speaking from here on out Last edited by the Prince; 04-24-2006 at 03:09 PM.

04-24-2006, 04:15 PM	#6 (permalink)
Old Soul Nipple Nibbler Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: I'll stay below the surface, breaking bread with worms. It's depravity, not gravity, that anchors flesh to Earth......... Los Angeles, CA Posts: 27,037	During a play, the ball was turned over 3 times in 10 seconds, but no one made contact with anyone Walton: That has to be a foul. Snapper: Against who? Walton: Against the game of basketball. Ahahaha __________________ The venom is inside of me, the reason Greece is fallin to pieces The whole world's callin for Jesus And I'll let him take a strike or three Then crush his skull with a tree from the Garden of Eden I know he has a high threshold for pain So I'll tie him to a bull's tail and drag his flesh over Spain An equisite work of art I'll drop his head at the Louvre I'm impossible to stop once I get in a groove

04-24-2006, 07:02 PM	#12 (permalink)
Ed E Brock RM's version of this guy Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,594	lmao...he's hillarious. I've never understood how people can't like the guy. "It looked like they were moving forward when they bought out Shawn Bradley's contract. Now, they still have him. His name just changed to Erick Dampier." hahaha and foul against the game of basketball. __________________ I'm not waving. I'm drowning. I'm not waving. I'm drowning. I'm not waving. I'm drowning. I'm not waving. I'm drowning. ... .. . ... .. .

04-24-2006, 03:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
Iceodu921 Resident Sports Genius Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: wit ur girl Posts: 6,284	hes no chuck bark

04-24-2006, 03:45 PM	#5 (permalink)
Klas~Sick Registered User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: goleta, ca Posts: 3,093	if bill walton saw me play hed make a comment comparing me to michael jordan

04-24-2006, 04:20 PM	#7 (permalink)
ILLnSkILLz Registered User Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 286	i remember him talking about wade saying "Look at his physique, it is as if he were chisled straight from marble by the steady hands of Michaelangelo"

04-24-2006, 04:46 PM	#8 (permalink)
the Prince - Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 7,803	wade has tremendous physique

04-24-2006, 04:52 PM	#9 (permalink)
swiss- a.k.a emperikal Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: toronto \| north africa Posts: 5,551	lol for a typical walton response see the one i posted in the haslem thread

04-24-2006, 06:14 PM	#10 (permalink)
....BaSh.... Lakers all day! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: FL Posts: 3,571	Bill Walton is the best commentator Reggie Miller is the weakest

04-24-2006, 06:31 PM	#11 (permalink)
Final Chapta End of Story Join Date: May 2002 Location: DM, Steady Posts: 10,366	"when i look at boris diaw, my mind travels back to the age of the romantics. beethoven, mozart, tchaikovsky... those are the spirits that dwell within this fine basketball player" (not what he said verbatim, but it was a hilarious quote... wish i had the transcript) nooooooooooooooooooooooooo homo

04-24-2006, 07:05 PM	#13 (permalink)
ILLnSkILLz Registered User Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 286	this just in... (real) "The lack of V-8 juice consumed in the NBA is just APPAULING!"

04-24-2006, 09:22 PM	#14 (permalink)
chickenwang (the) state of the art Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: 818 Posts: 3,665	its that ucla education baby! __________________ Mattafizact http://www.myspace.com/doperapper

04-24-2006, 11:33 PM	#15 (permalink)
Purple Haze Thelonious Monk, son Join Date: Jun 2000 Posts: 9,995	Barkley's > Walton's but some of these are pretty funny. __________________ 18-1* best served chilled.

04-25-2006, 07:52 AM	#17 (permalink)
double ML the most honorable Join Date: Sep 1999 Location: at the crib laughin' my ass off at tom brady's injury Posts: 56,866	barkley > walton but bill has his moments like durin' a recent wizards game he said brendan haywood was reminiscent of hakeem olajuwon __________________ dope quote of the moment: "as soon as Double comes into the picture ya'll niggas turn into the lamest niggas on the site..."- Fantom(exposin' the creepy obsession of the double groupies that infest rm.c by the thousands) idiot quote of the moment: "Canadians shouldnt talk about basketball EVER"- As Seen On Tv(not realizin' that basketball was invented by a canadian)

04-25-2006, 12:15 AM	#16 (permalink)
Speedy Gunzalez Awareness is my Alias Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: City of Wind Posts: 9,355	I could've swore the western civilization comment was made in reference to John Stockton (being the greatest thing to happen to it). Good job, Brah... those quotes are hilarious. __________________ "...No sight of po-lice when we riot, fightin the system fire" - Nas

04-25-2006, 11:36 AM	#18 (permalink)
DMeTRIUS ³³³³³s and bananas Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 13,006	On Larry Johnson's lackluster performance in the NBA Finals: "What a pathetic performance by this sad human being. This is a disgrace to the game of basketball and to the NBA. He played like a disgrace tonight. And he deserved it." More Larry Johnson railing: "Why would the Pacers ever double-team Larry Johnson? He wants to be double-teamed so he can pass. Why is Indiana double-teaming a man who only scores 8 points a game?" "Memo to Paul Pierce and Antoine Walker: Couldn't you wait until at least the All-Star break to have the franchise suffer its worse loss in its storied history? Bill Russell just called looking for an address to send his 11 championship rings back to the Celtics because he is so disappointed." __________________ The Olympics is nothing but a full political scene—everything in world athletics is. You tell a kid the Olympics is the highest form of athletics. That it's man against man, soul against soul. But when you get to the Games it's all different from what you've been told all your life. It's country against country, ideology against ideology. - john carlos