RBL Tournament Previews. (East and West)

[TRAP.]

Intro:

I've had this done for over a week and was waiting on Formal's part, but he's been busy so i'll post the East / West Previews here and then i'll try and do the North / South ones by Monday, unless someone wants to help tonight.

aol screenname = got you in czech

First off, here's the Top 30 and Bottom Half Punchlines from the regular RBL League last week.




Punchline Pandemonium (Top 30):

(no particular order ..)

"You’re a weird guy, and its strange you push me
But I didn’t realise that Muff, was another name for pussy" - merc 11.

"merc 11 aka Mc Delight..I bet noone talks to you/
When ya fuckin rapname..
sounds like A role playing Male Prostitute/" - Muffffy.

"I could use half my strength to kick this chump's ass
Its just like you havin sex.. I can do it wit one hand" - imperial.

"Ugly ass nigguh, keep ya face plain out of view.
Cause your whole family was pro-life, until you came out the womb." - Tang.

"Shit's disgracing, this match is a wrap, ya feel?
Even the mag said I got the Edge...like the Colts backfield" - Troublesome.

"ill leave his frame tattered, mainly cuz this cheater's gay
ur neck's like audibles, when coming up to the snap I can go either way" - headless.

"Like banana’s ~~~~~, i'll peel this jerk.
And my hollow tips hurt emotions, so literally i’ll leave ya feelings hurt." - knockboots.

"Nice verse...right, all those played lines is what kids should avoid.
Cuz based on that drop...
..you either old as fuck or friends with Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd." - john hensley.

"ur mad ugly, u'd make the average broad frown, man
u've taken enough mase hits,
to put the preacher on top of soundscan" - scientz.

"But enuf of the gay jokes, the mags have blatant promises
They said this a dope battle.. but its chee vs a fake adonis kid" - cheemagun.

"^^see '/4'll father you...and end this faggot..
cuz a quarter down'll buy your mom twice..plus tips and taxes.." - silentt.




Punchline Pandemonium (Bottom Half):

"This battle will make you reframe from droppin scripts
And I'm not opening a bottle.. when I say I'm poppin chris" - ledge end.

"This dude’ll lose …
when I’m comin off the top like juventude/
Beat me? This kid couldn’t beat fruity loops/" - deus ex. (actually dude's whole verse was funny as shit, props.)

".. display weapons .. Aven gon' whip out rugars ..
make 'em cry .. sweet breaks down & turns into simple sugar " - aven brooks.

"peeped ya shit n sorry man, i kno this aint english class
we suppose to drop a verse, not a fucking paragraph" - ephekt. (if you read the other kids verse, this is hilarious.)

"As for personals? MC's duckin while PM of course sucks...
Slashing couplets? Since when did Ariz start ridin the short bus?" - alpha.

"Pent up trying to act hard, but is really a chump
He tryin to get a gig, so he can put Pentium up" - that nucca.

I was reaching for punchlines guys. Once again, get'cha funny game up!


(continued ..)

[TRAP.]

East:

The East is stacked with powerhouses. From Tang, Inkwell, Demik and Rivers .. all the way to the 8 seed Vadik. Vadik is probally the one to look out for here being so lowly seeded. Also look for 16th seed Nefarious to bring some fire to Tang. I see either Tang or Demik taking this Region. Let's check out the individual matches ..


1. Tang vs 16. Nefarious:

Tang is def one of those fierce competitors that has basically killed all the competition he's faced in the RBL. He's known as a heavy-hitter around most Textcee sites as well. I expect him to do very well. But from what I've been told, supposedly Nefarious is a prety good alias. Hopefully you won't see a huge upset here. That's why I hate aliases, I can never tell which ones they are and whether they are good or not. I still expect Tang to step it up and win, it seems like he's actually determined.


2. Doc Richards vs 15. Oliver_Thenet:

Demik has basically won every Battle Tournament this year. Of course there really hasn't been much competition once he got to the finals. Def not the type of competition that is in this tourney. He can prove himself to all the doubters and dis-believers by winning this Tournament. He's a number 2 seed in the East because of his ability and I believe in him. Don't do me wrong buddy. Oliver, I don't know much about him really. I heard he's not bad, as is everyone in this Tournament. It was hard to seed people because of all the good competition, so I think Oliver will give Demik a good battle for a 15 seed.


3. Inkwell vs 14. Macabre:

This is a battle of two rusty vets. Inkwell hasn't been in the battle scene in hella long, and has a lot of rust to shake off, as does Macabre. I really haven't seen much of Macabre's battle skills, but i'm sure being a 14 seed doesn't suit him. Macabre isn't a slouch, and Inkwell could find himself in trouble if he fucks around and drops a shitty-ass rust verse. I still think the long-haired bandit can pull this one off.


4. AlphaOmni vs 13. Shadows Edge:

Who's Alpha again? Mr. Rivers right? I don't remember, but if that's him then Shadows is in trouble. Rivers got pretty damn far in the last major Tourney I saw him in. I believe he was HyperioN back in that tourney and lost to Galv I believe. Alpha can drop fire when he feels like it, but so can Shadow. I've liked a few of Shadow's verses. He can either be hit or miss, and hopefully both come out with guns blazing. I see this as a good battle to check out in the East.


5. Fist Of Fury vs 12. Opshins:

Damn, all the old kids come out of the woodworks once they hear "RBL Tourney". I haven't seen Fist in a while. It's been at least a couple months before he was last in the League. Last time i saw him he was undefeated and dropped fire on some stupid kid. Opshins and his league of aliases isn't a pushover though. Everyone in this Tourney has to try hard as fuck in this First Round, no slouching. Fist might no-show though, but hopefully not since we gave him 2 damn weeks, Lol. Close battle. Could go either way, Imo.


6. ill nik-A vs 11. Frame:

Nika is just coming off a win over Silentt. While some thought he shouldn't have won, that's still an impressive victory coming into the Tourney which is why he gets the 6th seed here. He's going against Frame, which i think is that one guy who has a million and one names. His name is eluding my brain right now, oh Klobb right? Klobb's downfall in this match could be his dumbass writing style. I don't like it. If Klobb sharpens that up, I could see a win for him. But i'm sure Nika won't allow that, dude's hungry.


7. Savir vs 10. Troublesome:

Savir, Sevir, Saver, Siver .. whatever the hell his name is. This guy confused me. I thought he was Rivers too. I forgot Alpha was though. You fucking aliases confuse the fuck out of me. Maybe this guy doesn't deserve the 7 seed, maybe he does. You all confuse me. Maybe the seeding here should be switched cuz Trouble is pretty sick. Oh well. I can't call this one, due to the fact I fucked up.


8. Vadik vs 9. John Hensley:

We probally shouldn't have put Vadik so low, but we haven't seen him battle in a while. At least i haven't. Who knows he could be in the RBL too, like Mr. Edward Lake in the RSTL. Either way, because of rust Vadik is at the 8 seed. John Hensley isn't awful though, he's actually pretty nice with it. But facing Vadik first round is career suicide basically. I still give John a chance here, but a very slim one.



(continued ..)

[TRAP.]

West:

The West is also stacked. With Number 1 seed Mr. Skull trying to reign on top. He has to be on the lookout for Oz, Zuch and Aura hot on his tail. Also look out for the "new kid" Aven Brooks to see what he has in store for the kids. Maybe we will see a Storm vs Orbit battle, haha. I see Skull taking this .. unless Aven Brooks has something to say about it. Let's check out the individual battles ..

1. Mr. Skull vs 16. Scriptures:

Skull is a monster, there's no doubt about it. DH says he's the best all-around, but Skull is def deserving of that instead of him. I'm not sure who scriptures is, but i'm told he's not a noob, so his skills are probally pretty good. Usually we give 1 seeds pretty easy battles, but in this Tourney it's just way too hard to do that, so Skull will have to try this round. He might even fuck around and give scriptures an opening, who knows.


2. Oz vs 15. Argon:

Oz has something to prove. After being one of the best RBL Mods in recent history, he's moved on. Bored out of his mind, he's back in the RBL and in the Tourney as well. I feel sorry for Argon, who isn't exactly a pushover, but will probally get pushed over by Oz. Oz has almost two weeks to write, but is that enough for him? Who knows.


3. Aura vs 14. Main Event:

Aura only shows up on the board for Porn and the RBL. Well he crawled out of the shadows for the Tourney and got a 3 seed. Aura has done well in every league and Tourney he's ever been in, so he's deserving of his seed. I'm pretty sure i've heard of Main Event. I think he was in the PBA League back in the day, i'm not sure. But supposedly he knows me so I guess that's him. He's a nice battle head as well, who recently lost to LHS. Haha, you loser. =) Anyway, this should be the match of the West, you could see a quick loss for Aura here.


4. Zuch vs 13. knoX:

I have no idea who knoX is, even though he posts on UPN a lot. He's got to be some alias from some other site besides the ones i frequent. Either way, I know who Zuch is, and if he actually decides to fucking post a verse on time, he should win this one really easy. C'mon Zuch, get on the internet at least once in the next 11 days buddy. Zuch should win with no problem.


5. Aven Brooks vs 12. Pav:

I'm pretty sure I know who Aven Brooks is, which is why he gets a 5 seed just based on being an alias and not being in the League for that long. Sick style. He should go pretty far if he decides to show up, and if he decides to not half-ass a verse and then complain about it in hook-ups. =) No idea who Pav is, but i'm sorry for you having to waste your time in the Tourney. Better luck next year. Haha, nah Pav could win this.


6. STORM GOD vs 11. Mufffy:

I have no idea who Mufffy is but i'm sure as hell sick of typing all those F's in the person's name. And that's a gay ass name as well. Mufffy is a guy right? Anyway, whoever you are, you've been killing shit in the League for the past couple of weeks, and now you have to face the God of Text Rap, Storm. I really hope Storm comes with a slick verse like he usually does and doesn't conform to what the reader's like. Storm is a non-conformist, and the only thing I see taking him back from losing this is actually the voters. Vote nice guys.


7. Orbit Einstein vs 10. Mr. Quote:

All these kids with the Mr. names. I wonder who Quote is. Whether he's an alias, noob or a vet on some other site. I have my opinions, but i'll keep them to myself. Either way, he has his hands full with Orbit. Orbit is just like Storm, but i think Orbit is humorous with the punchlines. If Orbit tries I think he can take this with no problem, but it will probally also come down to the voters with this one also, unfortunately.


8. Eyedill vs 9. Young Lac:

This is the best 8 vs 9 match in the tourney, IMO. Two great battle heads that probally wouldn't even deserved to be seeded here at any other time. But it's the RBL Tourney and this is when all the big kids come out. I think this could be a great match filled with crazy personals. I hope they really go that route also. Hard choice for who wins, it's honeslty a toss-up. Whoever has the corniest punches loses.


Outro:

Hopefully this Tourney runs smooth with little snags as possible. I love you all and good luck. Awwwww.

[Super.]

have a good one, trap

[Muffffy]

yea ima guy.

:/

and thanks for props.

[BlazeRock]

alot of upsets happen.

[Aven Brooks]

.. complain in hookups? .. huh? .. nice shit though..

[shadows edge]

this was cool.

[Mr. Quote]

give me some points so i can change my name

damnit

[Frame]

i`m not klobb

[Opshins]

nice yo

[Savir]

I'm not an alias. I liked the read though.

[Dr.Cause]

"Like banana’s ~~~~~, i'll peel this jerk.
And my hollow tips hurt emotions, so literally i’ll leave ya feelings hurt." - knockboots.

wtf lol.
that wassn't even good,plus he used"hurt" twice in the same line