11. Kareless 2-0 VS 11.5 FloR 3-1 VS 12. Esc Q

This is a discussion on 11. Kareless 2-0 VS 11.5 FloR 3-1 VS 12. Esc Q within the RapMusic's Storytelling League forums, part of the Text Battle Leagues category; LINE LIMITS: 4 lines NO-SHOW 12 lines MINIMUM 48 lines MAXIMUM 62 lines MAXIMUM - CONTENDERS & TITLE MATCH ONLY! ...


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Old 06-27-2006, 06:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
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11. Kareless 2-0 VS 11.5 FloR 3-1 VS 12. Esc Q



LINE LIMITS:
4 lines NO-SHOW
12 lines MINIMUM
48 lines MAXIMUM

62 lines MAXIMUM - CONTENDERS & TITLE MATCH ONLY!



VERSES DUE:
Friday 10:00pm PST/1:00am EST

VOTES DUE:
Sunday 10:00pm PST/1:00am EST

TOPICS:
Topics will be provided at the beginning of the week so that everyone has ample time to get involved.

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-1 vote is taken away for each vote you fail to do.

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-Tiebreakers will be determined by the Moderators when the week winds down.

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Topics:
Your TOPICS for this week - 6/26!

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Old 06-27-2006, 11:48 AM   #2 (permalink)
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FloR takes it up the butt!FloR takes it up the butt!FloR takes it up the butt!
good luck to both
might use topic 2 or 6, idunno yet...

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Old 06-27-2006, 01:51 PM   #3 (permalink)
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KareLess takes it up the butt!
Yup, good looks. Not sure about my topic yet.

http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...0#post13762660
http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...5#post13762755
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And resentment rides high, but emotions won't grow
And we're changing our ways, taking different roads
Then love, love will tear us apart again --

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Last edited by KareLess; 07-02-2006 at 05:26 PM.
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Old 06-28-2006, 05:45 PM   #4 (permalink)
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KareLess takes it up the butt!
Helpless!

There's been many a disaster, & many accounts..
..but for me now, its only mine that'll ever count.
.
Thats why I vent..

.
One sunny day..
..I left the banks of my home town for Australia; Adelaide.
My dream was made, thanks to my possesions sold on ebay,
so I hit the old freeway - the girth of my trip begun in Perth.
Now in a country I visioned from birth, to really feel..
..what freedom's worth!
Alienated on foreign turf? Noone made this foreigner hurt.
As I honoured their earth, & told past tales of Orleans that stirred..
..reminiscent - age old minds. Tales that've grown with the times,
I was told of illogical nights, where Jazz & Rum ruled in rhyme.
It was clear that not only I - took New Orleans, physically to heart
cuz there's people who LOVE the city, from almost worlds apart.
.
It was in the 3rd week; my dream turned bleak and my soul sank
A hurricain tanked, and reaked havoc all over my homeland.
"GOD DAMNED", the world held its breath from America to England
Always two sides to a ying yang
but what happens when equality *BANGs*.
Mother Nature sang, and her melody carried waves of destruction
No more lovin', and sunshine.. a New Orlean induction-
now consists of the grind of pain, & a city left with nothing.
Sobbing while I was looking on for a week, preying on beads and bracelets
Some people say I was helpless, but all I ever feel is selfish.
No calls or messages from family members, cut deep..
..wounds while I sleep, & compound nightmares into dreams.
Now it seems to people I'm a recluse,
but a noose of weather never leaves no refuge.



Haven't yet reached any goal, just a forgotten land with many holes
and ditches for souls to lie-in. I'm sick to death of crying in droves!
& the closest new friends I chose, tried giving me their support loads
Yet the pain grows, "I'll graduate a sadness when the rain goes".
Still this evil chain holds.. & it gets worse when the skies are dark
I can't bare to watch the looting, so I head to my fave park.
I walk with a dangerous heart content - to turn back time..
..to turn whats mine, back to the norm'..
No more storm, just a slight shadow of its "Jazz Capitals" form-
..er self. My fucking city needs help, while I just walk
& self pitty. Shitty emotions take a back seat - signs talk -
there against the fence on the side-walk. Written in BLACK chalk
is a piece of writing that could leave cataract in awe.
.
I didn't forget..
..but for that moment, I felt I was welcomed in an instant.
Yet for all the support, my heart was dying in the distance.
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And resentment rides high, but emotions won't grow
And we're changing our ways, taking different roads
Then love, love will tear us apart again --

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Old 06-30-2006, 04:48 PM   #5 (permalink)
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FloR takes it up the butt!FloR takes it up the butt!FloR takes it up the butt!
2. Author NYSE
Your standing at a grave... what thoughts
feelings rush through your mind..
what happens... Expand.


I could smell death and breathe corrossion
no remorse I'm narrating my life's disclosure
streams of emotions travel trough my brain painfully
I aim to seek an answer to this life basicly
but lately life's been crazy so then I carefully
try to beat the pain, put it astray, safely away
I came to say that I reminisce these past days
like the memories of good times that I crave for
wishing I HAD something that I WOULD pray for
I would ride and die for..but I couldn't give her
what she wanted so I can't face myself in the mirror
anymore, so hear these confessions that I deliver
to throw 'em over board, burry them in golden litter
and so on and so on, but hold it
I'm drifting away from my current story
because of all this aggrevation and worries

You see I loved her more than anything in this world
I know it sounds cliché but I really loved this girl
Gave her huggs 'n pearls like she was my queen to be
but I couldn't leave and see her wanderin off without me
so I egerly sought her, saw her with somebody else
so when I saw her one night I decided to end it myself
with one decisive shell aimed right to her head
and with that my only love in my life was dead
the tears that I shed and the pain that I felt
was undescribable..no words could be said
and dugg her a grave and one right next to it
put the gun to my brain but I'm doubting to do it
sweat dripping over my cheeks..my hands are shaking
I'm feeling too weak for this risky undertakement
my finger pulls the trigger I see life flashing by
BANG!
the gunshot was echoing troughout the sky


A quick write...haven't had much time to write this but I wouldn't no-show
good luck
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Old 07-01-2006, 03:10 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Old 07-01-2006, 02:06 PM   #7 (permalink)
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FloR takes it up the butt!FloR takes it up the butt!FloR takes it up the butt!
my votes:
http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...4#post13759284
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Old 07-02-2006, 02:35 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Old 07-02-2006, 04:40 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Old 07-02-2006, 07:51 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Old 07-02-2006, 10:32 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Old 07-02-2006, 10:34 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Old 07-02-2006, 11:26 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Old 07-03-2006, 12:49 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Old 07-03-2006, 02:04 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Old 07-03-2006, 02:07 AM   #16 (permalink)
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[hide]Kareless -- your verse bored the fuck out of me. Rhyming was meager and forced, E••••IALLY thate former-self line
that had awkward written all over it

it went nowhere, i didnt connect to you in one bit; The only things i liked were the new england refrence and the worlds apart line.
this verse was stagnacious and felt like u didnt even come from new orleans. overall i felt no connectivity between the writer and the peice
or the read and the peice to say the least.
diss-a-pointed

FloR -- Line of the battle

wishing I HAD something that I WOULD pray for

the rest of the verse is like blah blah blah
Its alright though, i mean it had some flow, lines were short
not really dope on the rhymes or anything, some lines were madddd cliche and the ending was....cliche lol
i dont know what was worse...your ending or kareless' connectivity..
anyway the whole passion of crime thing is overrated and overdone so you should've brought a dope twist to the table or at least had her get killed hella gruesome
since you failed ot keep my interest past the best line in the battle (imo)

vote - kareless
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Old 07-03-2006, 02:19 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Kareless wins 3-0
Flor loses 3-2
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