I’m waking up, my eyes twitching, sweating from the forehead
Face to face with the new beginning that begins to come ahead
Half-naked with my feet plastered on the wooden fabric
Realize my life is everything but lavish, kind of tragic
No television, no closet, no mattress, or a kitchen
This type of existence is what you call “living in a prison”
It’s schizophrenic intuition, an official mental condition
And from happiness and sadness comes a true joy division
All I have are these white walls, covered in pitch black paint
Enforcing shadow behind every complaint, rage is restrained
Instead of addressed and then progressed through sin blessed
From the Devil’s hands, and now what’s planned is the distress
That now hovers over me, one event after another
My hidden past comes back to express its role as my true lover
Yet while it seems better out with sun shining morning glory
That’s because you haven’t heard the whole story…..
Back a few months, life became tribulation, difficult trials
Lost my job I had for years, due to a vivid racial profile
Although, the typical reason was results of downsizing
I saw through expression, and his smile was rising
Wasn’t until I stepped through the gates, I dealt with the mistakes
My wife and I, fighting and fussing, practically over nothing
She hated what I am becoming, and from there, all of the loving
Turned to hate as my fist came thrusting towards her face
Her bottom lip bruised, the plates crashed upon the floor
Seemed she asked for more, until the kids crept through the door
The look in their eyes of tears flowing with a hint of anger
Manifested into ideas my well-being’s in danger
I had to get out, get away from these monsters chasing me
If I go back what’s facing me, is life behind the penitentiary
Snuck into an empty apartment, foreclosed for many years
The only place where I’m safe to display these fears
Ripped off my shirt, my entire body is inert
To my surroundings, skin flared with goose bumps and dirt
Until the thought came to mind, and thoughts started to remind
That I had a true muse for body and soul to come entwined
It was a gun in my back pocket, only one shell to spare
The ending was catastrophic, but the voice inside of me dared
To pull the trigger just to see how it feels, the only way to deal
Try it once or maybe a few, you have nothing to lose
Looked in my reflection, my eyes watered in blood shot red
And at the sound of a blast….I was declared…..dead
Until that morning…..where I woke up in a death stance
Unaware of before, except the fact I and death danced
And now the sun shines reflecting the life I’m forced to miss
As the darkness signifies the beginning of the abyss……