25. Baysick 0-0 vs 26. Cereal Killer 0-0

[Ratiko Malodic]

DUE DATES:

VERSES DUE Thursday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST

VOTES DUE Sunday 9:00pm PACIFIC/12:00 Midnight EST

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LINE LIMIT:

4 lines - NO SHOWS
14 lines - MINIMUM
60 lines - MAXIMUM

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VOTING:

No payback votes
No 2nd Chance Votes
No hate votes

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YOU MUST VOTE ON 5 BATTLES!

For every vote you fail to submit and post a link for in your own
match, you will be deducted 1 vote.

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No Show Voting Rule

People who win via a no show, MUST vote on two battles in order to recieve credit for the win. If you don't vote on two other matches then your record will be left as it was coming into this week.

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if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!

!!KICK SOME FUCKING ASS!!

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TOPICS:

http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?p=12120601

Choose a topic from the link posted above.

[Cereal_Killer]

hiddy ho

[BaySick]

in'd..

[BaySick]

Satisfy You

I’d do anything to satisfy you,
I'd do anything to make one two..
I'd do anything and everything,
Just to bring ya love to cling to your hug…
I'd just like you to be loved…
I would take the sky and put you above..
…….

First things first this bitch got ass and titties in the worst way,
Its like here eyes are highlighted and her swagger is freshly paved..
The warmth from her stare makes me glare at her freshly cut hair..
It’s like im standing right next to her, but im a mile away, she’s rare..
She is a dime she should be mine and I know she wants it..
As I put time in my favor and grind to get her heart’s consent..
She says her first words to me, Hi, How are you? I freeze turn blue..
Eyes get huge she makes a funny face you ok? im fine how are you?..
Before she responds I say; ill do anything to you make feel tight..
She stops and laughs kid ya don’t even know, but love at first sight?..
She starts to look away well ok kid I’ll let you go, but why scared?..
Then she makes a move turns her heart towards me, my eyes flared..
Hell know kid, ya just came off to strong now prove me wrong…
By doing what, walk me to my car its kind of far away but not to long..
As I look with a blank look? Ok, now lets talk about somthin..
She lifts her hand up to slowly push the unlock button…
:::::Opens door::::
This ladies car smells so tight I could jizz on it without thinking twice..
I want this lady I got satisfy her in the right way to get her for life..
----

As she hops in the drivers seat, I ask her if I could beat indiscrete..
So ma’m could I spin with ya? just get to know you? help us meet..
Sure kid, only if ya think you can handle me for long time..
As the sexual conversation comes out it’s still hidden in our rhyme..
Well sure Ill do anything to satisfy you…I need to make you right..
As I look around well this spot could do, I see her face turn bright....
As she leans over she whispers slowly using a lot a lip “are you ready?”
I say fuck yes, I been ready since the day I saw you with my 20-20,,
Well I like it violent as she starts to get up on me I start to get rough..
She begins to scream this aint enough get tough lil man, I start to love..
She laughs kid you have no talent get going, I start pounding intensely..
As she begins to scream, she starts to yell No, NO this is isn’t meant to be..
Ya just can not satisfy me,
As I look to my right I see the cops coming..
I look scared she lets my arms free..
He knocks on the window what’s goin on here? Nothing..
As I freeze up she says officer were fine..
Then he looks at her and says ma’m shut ur mouth..
I begin to get angry, sorry sir but uv crossed the line..
I cock my fist back and punch him directly in the mouth..
As he falls to the ground she says kid uv lost it..
Uv taking this "satisfy you" thing to far she grabs her top..
Pulls back her leg and kicks me out but ass naked..
I land on the ground still with my virginity and a knocked out cop..
I guess it’s hard to satisfy a boo you never knew
I guess the story about love at first sight is untrue
But I got my ass kicked in my first fight
And didn’t lose my virginity that night..
------

I shoulda known the cop I dropped was her husband..
But how was I too know she was married to the law..
I only reached out with one hand and hit him..
Little did I know I basically broke the mans jaw..
I guess you could say the law wasn’t made to be broken..
And tryin to satisfy a women on the first night is wrong..
I should never look or spoken..
Cause now im alone and my feelings gone..

[Cereal_Killer]

You're about to loose your virginity. – iLLweeMan

PREY


Journal of Kate Carefree



October 23rd 2000

Dear Diary;
I was hypnotized last night, love at first sight
I know I’m plus size to site it nicely I’m ripe
But so what right eyes don’t lie but be polite
Which is why I try to deny the signs of life
I’ve been told this twice if fish are too blind to bite
I should let em go float belly up inside
That broken drain pipe of hope that chokes n hides
Down my throat each time I try to justify
Societies fight for surprises in love
No surprises
I will get him!


October 27th 2000

Dear Diary;
Ok Ok so today’s the day it’s all paid off-yes
He said YES, Yes, not maybe,
Wait I need more offers
Yes just sweet ol me secreting sweat beads fresh-ly
Seeping for all to see, coughing nervous-ly
Stumbling, mumbling something, standing weak
At the knees, seemingly I’m speaking to the breeze
Seeking interest between the streets as our eyes meet
I freeze, grit my teeth it’s like a sentence to me
But it needs to be done
And it has
I got him!


THE DATE

Went well, hell we back at my place for god sake
With odd tastes of long lusting love taking shape
On my face, chase it away no way I just pace
My way laced in the royal pre-spray he made
As he makes a brave loyal statement to take
Or replace those snug soiled stains I embrace.
“Lets be SAFE”
No wait up mate we’re not engaged
So my virginity stays stern compendia
“Oh ok then”
Loose the condom and you’re in
“what, in what”
Anal son did I stutter or something
“What who”
Shoot I got no lube
You know what to do

One

Two

Too soon, I must run to the bathroom
And use the new turkey baster and bucket
Fuck it there’s not enough suction to suck it
I push
Argh got it
Searching past logic first
Insertion
It bursts

Please oh please let it work.

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It all happened so FAST

BUT

Some Bitches fall pregnant on purpose!

write something that is important to you that you would like everyone else to know. L Dogg

[Cereal_Killer]

tali vs jook

vizz vs rik

l dogg vs vern

pest vs don

pent vs gf

[TaLi RodrigueZ]

Baysick

Do you think I have eagle vision or some shit? Damn that was hard to read lol. Anyways, where shall I start? Overall, the technical aspects of the rhyme wasn't particularly advanced. That isn't always a bad thing. A Lot of people over do it. I think you might have underdone it a little. There was some decent use of single syllable rhymes within the lines but I suppose a few multis here and there wouldn't have hurt anything. The story was ok but it seemed a bit hectic in that it didn't always transition from thought to thought all that smoothly. I had to stop myself a few times to figure out where you were and what you were trying to convey and how it related to the line before it. I think the ending would have been a little better if it were a little more shocking. You sort of let the cat out of the bag a little early and so for the last chunk of the rhyme I more or less knew what to expect other than the husband being the cop. Overall, this is solid, but there are certainly things that could be tightened up a little with some more practice.

Cereal Killer

This whole rhyme had a bit of a poetic feel to it. Technically, it falls somewhere in the middle. Nothing mindblowing but definitely solid enough to carry the verse along. You kinda tried to mix some humor in there with what would otherwise be a fairly serious subject. I thought it worked ok. The story itself, other than some of the humor and methods used to suction out shit, was pretty straightforward. There was a twist, but nothing out of nowhere. I don't know; I don't really have much else to say.

I have to give this one to Cereal Killer. To me, it seemed to have a better flow to it in terms of progressing from beginning and the overall skill level displayed seem to out-do Baysick by a bit.

[Sheik]

Vote- CK

HE brought a better formulated verse, and his mechanics were much more sound. Baysick wasn't direct and his line sequencing threw me off, his writing was fine i was just lost a few spots.
for example:
"Well sure Ill do anything to satisfy you…I need to make you right..
As I look around well this spot could do, I see her face turn bright....
As she leans over she whispers slowly using a lot a lip “are you ready?”
I say fuck yes, I been ready since the day I saw you with my 20-20,,"

the as i look around line was worded wrong, really through off the flow of the story, but not the flow of the writing.


Ck is enjoyed this part of your piece:

"Went well, hell we back at my place for god sake
With odd tastes of long lusting love taking shape
On my face, chase it away no way I just pace
My way laced in the royal pre-spray he made
As he makes a brave loyal statement to take
Or replace those snug soiled stains I embrace."


so yeah CK wins due to the fact ghis content was more on point and had more direction in his verse. He brought a smoother flow with a sick original skeme in a few areas. Bayisck had an ok verse just needed to be more focused and need to cut down on the wording and just say waht you want to say, better of saying it in less words than making it stretch and adding usless words )e.g. to, its, his) someitmes they workd but afew spots you cold have used some better words or less words. but you have a good verse no doubt.

peace

[Urizen]

Baysick

your beginning was weird I couldnt really follow it
your wordplay was ok ... but your concept was kinda childish
and you didnt really put effort into it but thats just my opinion
and I hate the font you chose shit made it hard to read
wich damn near didnt make me read it
but I did like the ending breaking his jaw and him being the husband
but everytime she says kid you should put like a ... or a "....." so people will know
cus that shit was confusing

CK

your beginning was weird as fuck to
I didnt know what the fuck you were talking about
I had that a couple of times with your story
but it did flow better than BS his story
and your ending was coo and I can relate
plus u made it look coo with all the different dates and the way the
story progessses so ....

CK get my vote

[Unavailable.]

up....

[J o o k]

Baysick - Your text was small as shit fam. I mean I honestly had to copy and paste it into microsoft word so that I could actually read it nahmean. But none the less the story was cool I mean good shit at the end with her husband being the cop. I wasn't expecting that but it was a good little twist. Anyways the imagery wasn't too dope but the plot of the story was solid. The flow was cool not to sick but it was straight fam. All around a good read.

Cereal Killer - In all honesty man the structure and set up was dope. But your content was just wack to me. That shit was poorly written and the suction shit was distasteful when you are creating a serious mood. It was just like uhh ok? None the less good imagery. Solid flow I just wasn't feeling the plot kid.

v/Baysick

[Balthowsai]

I hope you never post a verse w/ that format again, Baysick; that shit was retarded. Anyways, I read both verses, and feel Baysick won. His shit was hard to read, and though this was a mediocre battle, once you actually do read both verses, Baysick had the better verse. Anyways, keep repping.
Peace.

IllaMentalz!!

[pestilence]

Baysick…. Wasn’t bad, the imagery was good and it was pretty direct, but I didn’t like the twist at the end, it was okay but it came out of nowhere, you should have developed the scene in which the cop came to the car a little better, but it was pretty good

CK… Pretty good, and that was a twist of events that I didn’t expect, “Anal son” got me… flow was nice too and I hardly look for that I just noticed it… and the pregnancy thing… I swear I was thinking about that when I was reading it… I liked this story… it was well planned and different…

voteCK

[TeKneeK]

emotionally CK made it more heartfelt... the diary and the personal writing style had me more in tune to his..

skillfully... CK got a lil basic and Baysick edged out on his content making it a bit more of a storytelling type to get me goin more..

structurewise... CK got this with the readability and ease in how it was presented... that to me is essential in reading to get the full feel and grasp of thestory in whole.... i think thse lil things are very imporant.



vote ck

[God Father]

BaySick. Your rhyming was good all the way through. Love is blind and you portrayed that in your post, you got selfless with your content and u also had the male, street appeal to it. And after a nice set up, you got into the story telling mode, i liked it. DONT POST IN SUCH LITTLE FONT AGAIN LOL.

Cereal. Your mechanics were in check. I liked the topic you used and the direction you took to nail it. You told a nice story and added a bit of humor to your approach as well. I like the lyrical approach you took with your story, made it more interesting.

vote = cereal

[LDogg The King]

everyone already talked about that small font.. it was really hard to read your verse but it was pretty good in terms of the writing. cerial killer came with a pretty good drop too so overal this match was fairly even.. i think what made my decision on who won was the more creative of the 2 verses and that one was CK's.. just not your average post when it comes to writing and i like that.. it did need some stronger content though.. thats one thing that could have been improved by both.. good match though

vote Cerial Killer

[Ratiko Malodic]

CK wins - 1-0
Baysick Looses 0-1