NORTH 9. Nique vs 5. ssenlli

[Mac Flow]

RSTL TOURNAMENT
Round Three


DUE DATES


VERSES DUE Thursday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST/

VOTES DUE Sunday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST


TOPICS

Round 3 / League 10 - 17 october TOPICS

LINE LIMIT

4 lines - NO SHOWS
16 lines - MINIMUM
60 lines - MAXIMUM


VOTING

No payback votes
No 2nd Chance Votes


YOU MUST MUST MUST
POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

YOU MUST VOTE ON 6 BATTLES
for every vote you fail to submit and post a link for you will be deducted 1



if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!



Go Forth and Produce

[Just Wrong]

check, check, 1,2 1,2

will do blanket of lies

what part of md are you in?

[Nique...]

Montgomery County.

[Just Wrong]

A grandfather gathers his grandchildren to tell them the story of his people’s past hardships…

Generations ago, things were very different from today
No corporations you know, I miss those times in a way
What I’m gonna say, may change your view of reality
The things you’ve been told by the news, they’re all fallacies
Forget what you’ve read in books, and instead look
To ancestors for questions and answers about the crooks
Who took it as their mission to come and “save our people”
Preaching ‘bout praying steeples, it’s they who made us “evil”-
By definition; don’t get twisted by religion n start hating
It’s sickening how their attrition came without justification
They began attacking, without being provoked first
We were also victims of mud slinging and thrown dirt
People were told our village inhabitants were savages
And anti-American, but where was the logic in that shit
It’s senseless to mention our patriotism in the worst way
Those bastards, we didn’t ask for their help in the first place
Then, they burned our villages down, pillaged it, now
They’ve turned and painted us out as villains and how
Do the killings, and rapings of our wives and daughters
Not get a word, it’s absurd next to all of the slaughters
And the children they’ve killed in “combat” and that’s why
I jump at the chance to still spit at convoys as they pass by
They call us foreigners, with hatred they look at us starring and
It is insane, cause we are the only true native Americans
Then as a peace claim, they gave us a quilt to stop the madness
And now children, just for you, I will explain the patches


There’s one for how they’ve lied to us, and tried to change the truth
One for how they’ve fucked the world, corrupting its youth
One for how this “free” country is merely an illusion
One for every reservation we’ve been forced to move in
One for the peace pipes from which we used to smoke
One for each and every prisoner who’s not allowed to vote
One for all of the Africans never counted as a whole
One for the buried secrets, which I want you now to know
One for our past, which is passed along from man to man
One for the fiction, written in the history books at hand
One for each slaughter that was being lead by spineless
And one for the small pox, which lined this act of “kindness”

Blanket of Lies

fuckers

"i love the place i live, but i hate the people in charge" i.t. (no, not infinte truth")

[Nique...]

Yo,
Its candid way's leave bodies stranded by the variety
A phantom masked that prances and landed on the society
It violently invades ironically...silently in her system
She blinded by the hype & requirements and becomes a victim
Listening to her surroundings, commercials, voices, ads and..
Imprisoned and grounded by the "virtue" of the social status
She plagued with the perception & abides by them accordingly
Trapped with the impression to be on the side of conformity
She was an object unknowingly..her wall covered with Barbies
You know tummy tucks & implants, but she was hardly
..this image..she was obese, her skin & breast were saggy
..couldn't dress, double chinned, & her face was obsessed with acne
She wasn't happy...tried excersise & no carbs to work her stomach
It didn't work, lost her pride, starved herself, & began to vomit
She began to plummet; Called but rejected by Model Agents
If pride was liquor, she got drunk by swallowing patience
Became a prophet of Satan..sold her flesh to gain profit
Gained progress, but was still stuck so she began to shoplift
Saved enough, it got more deceiving, & became a life destruction
Pushed over diets, became a belemic, & resorted to liposuction
At the height of corruption..placed Gods work under a knife
..took a mass reduction....just to been seen in the public eye
..the sky made a muffled cry....lord knows..
..there's a flaw in perfection, so there's no need to gamble
But she bargained and would eventually lead by example..
Doctor showed her samples..the process for the surgery
The rules & objects & the scapegoat for possible emergencies
She was nervous but she wanted to get rid of fats & proteins
Mesmerized by beauty....so she was inflicted with morphine
Seemed like a long dream, but it was stopped..she went into shock..
CPR volt shocks didn't work.....so her chances flopped..
She died at the cost...to be considered a picture worth a thousand words..
But she became a figure..that will wither under pounds of dirt..

Drop Dead Gorgeous..

Can't judge by what you want to wear or what foods you like..
Can't judge by their blonde hair or their blue eyes..
Can't judge by their religion, their choices, or their decisions..
Can't destruct their intentions, when they voice their opinions..
See we're are own poison to make ourselves feel better..
Die from our own potent being victims of peer pressure..
From innocent gestures, preferences, unecessary jokes..
To who's better, to wreckless shit, & popularity votes..

Fuck it I wrote what I write... and I write from my soul..
While we walk left & right in these soles..down the devils road..
We relish reality shows, money, objects, and •••els..
& most of us still struggling with money, the projects, and food..
We need to abolish the rules..and re-define what's gorgeous..
Gorgeous IS graduating from college..not girls & porsches..
Gorgeous IS escaping the ghetto..not going to supreme courts and..
..Gorgeous IS living life to the fullest..not waiting to die & be corpses
Not forcing to be a star...I call that "ideal" gorgeous..
You're a star in your on right...your heart is whats important..
So stay focused....stay LIVING gorgeous...make intelligent choices..
And remember..don't EVER give up..never drop dead gorgeous..
Just don't...EVER give up..and drop dead gorgeous...
Never give up...please don't dorp dead gorgeous.

You define beauty, never let beauty define you.

2. Drop Dead Gorgeous.

[Mac Flow]

over no shows

[Edward Lake]

Now this one is interesting cause if I beat Tek..I'll face one of you..with that said..lets get my vote on.

Ssenlli...nice verse...very fluidly written...but I felt it lacked something...yet I cant say exactly what it is..the way you wrote it was nice though..

Nique..WHOA very strong piece despite some awkward wording like "her face was obsessed with acne"..overall message and emotion was very strong...some reality thrown in my face here...im impressed. props...

vote = Nique...

[Cereal_Killer]

SS:
I liked this pretty straight forward you had something to say which I like and you didn’t hold back. Your flow was good and so was the information you gave in it.
Good piece.

7.3/10

Niq:
Rhyme scheme was nice here, your flow just kept hitting. At first I was a bit iffy on this because of the topic being played but you really brought this best out of it. You wrote it so nicely but yet dark in places. Well done.

7.7/10

Vote = Nique

[TeKneeK]

nique brought more illustration and imagery.... that was deciding factor



nique: 86
ssenlli 81

[Omen]

Ssenlli
See now I liked this verse.... it was a very creative way to go about it I felt. Especially using the Native Americans as those opressed in the States. Because truth be told...they still are. All their troubles in life and we give them a small patch of land. Wow! The verse was well done, flowed well and you held my interest the entire way. Word choice was good. I just enjoyed the way you did this and the truth that came with it.

Nique
I use to date this girl that would make herself throw up all the time after eating. Tried helping but once she stopped inducing vomiting she started poppin diet pills and became addicted. Iono... she always wanted to be something she wasn't. But thats how most of the World is. Which is why I feel that a lot of people can relate to a piece like this. Emotion was good and the overall message was nice. Flow was good, word choice good. Everything seemed to be clickin. Like CK the only problem I seen was that the route you took has been used many times before... but you touched on it in a different way which was nice.

Vote
Ssenlli

[Tha Talent]

Nique:
this was beautiful...someone had to say it...and be corny, so i was the one...just a great verse...really, this is one of the five best verses i've read so far in the entire tournament...the writing was brilliant, the flow was extremely smooth...it was just a very polished verse...you pulled off repetition/variation well, except i thought the way you did it in the end could have been a little smoother...but great job, i'm glad people are stepping up their games.

Ssenlli:
man, i'm loving this tournament...another great verse...i thought the overall concept was ver well done...and i loved the ending...you made it all come together very naturally...the word choice brought in a lot of emotion...one problem i saw was that the first stanza was a little big more on the typical anti-America side until 3/4 of the way through...however, it wasn't a major negative and this verse was still great to read.

vote=Nique...
this is a great battle...honestly, much better than i expected.
i thought Nique had the advantage, partially because of creativity with the topic
but i also felt she wrote her verse better
and her rhyme scheme was better...
great job both though..
Ssenlli, whether or not you lose this battle, please keep coming back
you're a great writer and we all love to see the vets come back.

[A.S.K]

ssenli: this is one of the first ive read from you, very good piece here. i loved the conept and the way you brought it to its end, i just felt that some of the flow in bits kinda threw me off, maybe it just me. your wording is great as well, used perfectly

nique: man im typing as i read, and this is a damn amazinf piece (okay im finshed now). your flow was smooth as a babys bottom and your wording was great, aparrt from a few bits. first ive seen of you really, and im damn impressed

this was a sick battle,

vote: ssenlii

1

[Anaphora]

ssenlli: Dammnnnnnnnnn. I really dug this... it was kinda ehhh, decent, but good, but then the very ending, talking about the first chemical warfare.... fucking brilliant shit man, I loved it... I would've liked a bit more imagery in teh first part, but its all good... nice shit man.

nique: My favorite thing about this was the very end (and no, not saying that I was glad it was over. haha)... the drop dead gorgeous part was very clever... but there were a bunch of little things that kept bugging me... You talk about the first girl, and keep going forward, then backward... like, you say right away she 'starved herself and began to vomit', but then like 8 lines or so later, say she became bulemic... see what I'm saying? And you say she took a mass reduction, like it happened... but then later she dies in the middle of the surgery... and small shit too like, in the beginning you exclude the word 'was' in the she lines... like she plagued, she blinded... I'm sure that was just a typo though. some of the wording other than that was a bit awkward too... like, face obsessed with acne... it makes sense, kinda, but it's worded really weirdly, and sounds weird... and also lines like 'life destruction'... I know it rhymes with liposuction, but it's not a real phrase...

Ssenlli had some polish errors too, I didn't get bugged by it so much as in nique's... nique's kinda reminded me of vember, with maloprops, and awkward phrasing... there was DEFINITELY a good message to it, and definitely some clever spots, but the timeline's all jumbled for no apparent reason, and awkward phrasings... I gotta give this to ssenlli...

[pestilence]

This might be the best battle I had read so far... I have to make this a quick vote because I need to take off for Philly A.sap... take it as you want but I have read both verses... Ss... I felt the story telling aspect of your verse... that is how you brought it all together... flowed so smoothly... and it turned out to be an awesome piece...
nique... your verse was the same as Ss... it was just another great story... and you brought it all together so nicely...

The deciding factor was of the story that I found more interest in... And... I was more interested while reading Ss... sorry... to Nique cause mechanically they were just as good...I just felt one topic more than the other...

vote-Ss

[Nique...]

Originally Posted by Anaphora

ssenlli: Dammnnnnnnnnn. I really dug this... it was kinda ehhh, decent, but good, but then the very ending, talking about the first chemical warfare.... fucking brilliant shit man, I loved it... I would've liked a bit more imagery in teh first part, but its all good... nice shit man.

nique: My favorite thing about this was the very end (and no, not saying that I was glad it was over. haha)... the drop dead gorgeous part was very clever... but there were a bunch of little things that kept bugging me... You talk about the first girl, and keep going forward, then backward... like, you say right away she 'starved herself and began to vomit', but then like 8 lines or so later, say she became bulemic... see what I'm saying? And you say she took a mass reduction, like it happened... but then later she dies in the middle of the surgery... and small shit too like, in the beginning you exclude the word 'was' in the she lines... like she plagued, she blinded... I'm sure that was just a typo though. some of the wording other than that was a bit awkward too... like, face obsessed with acne... it makes sense, kinda, but it's worded really weirdly, and sounds weird... and also lines like 'life destruction'... I know it rhymes with liposuction, but it's not a real phrase...

Ssenlli had some polish errors too, I didn't get bugged by it so much as in nique's... nique's kinda reminded me of vember, with maloprops, and awkward phrasing... there was DEFINITELY a good message to it, and definitely some clever spots, but the timeline's all jumbled for no apparent reason, and awkward phrasings... I gotta give this to ssenlli...

That was done on purpose, especially the awkward wording with the acne thing. Her entire face was feeled with so much acne..that it looked like she was being harassed by it, which is one of the synonyms to obsess. It was there..it bothered her...It was just always there, but anyway, it was done on purpose. And starved herself and began to vomit to belemia..are two different things. Starving Herself=Anorexia...Belemia=Throwing up your food. When I said "she starved herself and began to vomit"..When you starve yourself for a long period of time..your stomach will most likely start to eat away at itself causing you to feel nauseated and you will...vomit, so she finally realized that this wouldn't help, so she just began to eat and throw it up, which is what a belemic does. It's almost like..fooling your stomach in believing that you actually ate something. And the mass reduction, was simply repetition..throughout my entire piece she was willing to take this mass reduction..I didn't even say that she was in surgery yet, until the bargain...doctor part.

Shit i aint realize it was already 1 oclock lol i gotta vote quick

Ssenlli - your verse reflected a lot on my thoughts so it might be biased, it addressed the reader up-front and thats a risky move because sometimes it sounds "unprofessional" but u did it in a restrained manner, enough for me to feel it... story was solid all the way through with many many little elements to catch... legit

Nique - tough topic to make a bangin verse to. you played it well and that repeption in the end was a nice touch. there were a lot of unnecesary lines and it was short as it is.. it sort of prevented you from expanding on the story. nice drop tho

Vote - Ssenlli

[Infinite Truth]

vote- nique

amazing battle

props to ssenlli for real, thought he had it when i read his verse, one of the hottest verses i seen from him in a while.. flow was on, concept, plot, everything - niceness.. really appreciated the repetition in the last stanza, dramaticized the thought behind it, and definitely helped there.

but then i read nique's.. never read this dude before.. fucking nice kid, u got a definite future in the league, no doubt. ur flow is pretty good, id say ur weakest part tho, seemed to conflict with the complex rhyme scheme.. but ur scheme was nice, i really could appreciate that.. always can. lines were well written tho, & i think thats what took it for u. i can always appreciate just a well thought out, well worded line. not every writer - especially in hip hop's contemporary game - can do that. so props there. but yea,

i'd say nique took this with the rhyme scheme , yet keeping a brilliant writing method

pz

[Edward Lake]

lol, Nique is a girl..

Might as well tally while I'm here..
5-4 Ssen.

Don't forget to post links..