WEST 12. Kaybi vs 4. Cereal Killer

[Mac Flow]

RSTL TOURNAMENT
Round One


DUE DATES


VERSES DUE Thursday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST/

VOTES DUE Sunday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST


TOPICS

Round 2 Tournament TOPICS

LINE LIMIT

4 lines - NO SHOWS
16 lines - MINIMUM
60 lines - MAXIMUM


VOTING

No payback votes
No 2nd Chance Votes


YOU MUST MUST MUST
POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

YOU MUST VOTE ON 6 BATTLES
for every vote you fail to submit and post a link for you will be deducted 1



if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!



Go Forth and Produce

[Cereal_Killer]

in i got my topics

no woman no cry
and another topic but i wont tell yet

good luck

1
2
3
4
5
6

I'm in.

Thurday's-a-comin lol

[Cereal_Killer]

Adam – green
Old men – wheat

5. No Woman, No Cry

ADAM’S STORY

The world is now ours, the sun rays, the clouds
The waves that break and bathe our footprints out,
Allowing life to resound aloud, as a background
Mantra for our mouth’s, making us drown,
In loves heart pounding harmony of bliss.
With each kiss, feeling our whispers eclipse,
On our lips, ‘till pictures of us as kids,
Are all we can see when we reminisce.

“Holly shit, that bitch has a real tight ass,
Fucka meal, I could wear that shit as a mask
What are you fucken deaf whore, cum here fast
And sit on my face slut like I asked”


I can hear war drums beating me inside,
Eating me alive, ‘til harmony subsides,
Into the back of my mind, just to hide.
Making me ignorant enough to lie
To myself, about certain human rights
Like to live a full life!
I become blind to my wife, but focused
On the fact that face’s will get broken.
Throats will be choked and soaked in
Blood, when my fist leaves ‘em open.
I don’t even hope or wish, I just charge,
With eyes lit in rage and a mind enlarged
With pain. It’s time to make these fuckers pay.
First one up, I spray his blood, in arrays
Of aches,
All over his mates face,
To display the hate,
Soon to be laid onto their frames.
Second one scared to death, shudders and shakes,
Unaware that I’m set, to make him vibrate,
With an intense hard right, to his rib cage
Breaking him inside, now rolling in pain.
I kick him again, again and again.
It’s no longer a game!
There’s only one left, to get his neck wrecked,
Except he has fled, to protect his best
Interest, in getting to breathe his last breath.
He heads for his Ford Escape, drenched in sweat
And regret, as they both indent, onto his flesh.

So so scared he puts his foot to the floor

Time pauses...


Laid flat out like a story

Heavens outlook on the peace before loss

A pop up book,

Where each angle's released in soft shots
For your eyes to see,
The gory belief,
That the outcome of this,
Will be all right.

Then you hear the screams.
My wife
Her life
The wagon
The guy
On fire
The tree
The tires
Her body
Retired
Me
My
I
I
I am still alive.

2. "Second thought is always a little more reasonable than the first."

Teenage love, pure as tears of a child
Fueled by spurts of temptations
However sometimes one can simply adore..
God's perfect and flawless creation

He brought her a dozen flowers scented with passionate kisses
Muttering multiple compliments, forcing smiles and occasional misses
He drowned in her deep eyes forgetting himself staring blindly
Feeling his heavy heart create emotions so pleasant sublimely
She was beautiful beyond life, her existence shaped his mentality
Purity of God's true intention, with untainted fragile morality
She was truly a diamond, innocent, blind to typical human jealousy
Her voice blurring his mind, rocking thoughts like a lulling melody
He felt weak but attached to her miraculous pretty innocence
Knowing a thought of her would forever control his ligaments
He didn't know which was a mistake, to let go or try and hold on
He shut his eyes intoxicated, and his soul then dissolved in the song
Her unique flawless figure appeared in his world, as perfect as sun
He rested his head on a pillow of stars, knowing that she was the one
Losing the concept of time, the time apart dissolved in infinity
Clocks stopped, but his heart thumped, striking his soul with proximity

Midnight blue cocktails of clouds, concealed the evading crescent
Her being was out of his sight, but somehow she was still present
She promised to call, but the promise itself felt too good to be true
While thinking of her he fell in an abyss and dreamt that he flew
The sun rolled behind the bleak curtains above, he walked through the park
The trees seemed to know of his anguish and cried, with dark orange leaves...

Dull orange light drowned the streets, and reflected off windows
One by one yellow squares in giant buildings went black
He rushed to the state of obsession with purity and perfection
So deep that he couldn't convince himself to try to come back
How could such a magnificent being bind me in arrogant chains
Feeling so free but so stuck, losing voice screaming all across plains
He bound himself to her, his mind so convinced that he couldn't resist
But swearing he'll never again let himself step into that abyss

(Searching for wrongs in myself, fixing and building, again
Rearranging my theories, who I should be, asking myself who I am
All because of her.. one's perfection is anothers impurity
I dreamt that our combination of souls would accept me in unity
Aching of lust, of temptaion, of love, I'm too young to be dumb
Accepting the fact that she'll never call back, deeper I sunk)

Turning in bed, claws of torment did not let him go till the end
But finally body took over the mind, and he finally slept...


The world was asleep, joined in a dream, women and men
The tears were all dry but ready to drop all over again
A sound of the phone woke him up, "what the fuck" he mumbled, "hello?"
A girls' gentle voice.. "I'm sorry, I know.. I meant to call long ago..."

Votezzz:
SOUTH 6. LiquidLife vs 4. Khoi
NORTH 7. Edward Lake vs 2. Navara
SOUTH 14. Break-It vs 11. BusterHymen
EAST 2. MC4Sight vs 10. Retulen Reactus
WEST 1. Infinite Truth vs 8. Atreyu
SOUTH 7. Dicenyaeye vs 2. Tha Talent

[Mac Flow]

upppppppp

CK, that was just fucking tight. the imagery painted so much and gave a clear picture of waht was going on in Adams mind. and I like your second topic, the first topic was cool for foundation though. very poetical and to the point. I liked that too. nice all the way through

Kaybi, never heard of you, but this was a well rounded piece all the way. the flow was good, the story was tight with great details and colorful vocab as well as imagery. the details and colorful scapes throughout the story put this a lil above Ck's piece

Vote Kaybi

[MC4SiGHT]

CK-this was a very interesting verse to me the style you wrote it in was nice. i like how you ended it off with those short lines it added a nice effect to the ending. the story was nice and clear, and your flow was on too. it was a well written verse and the imagery was nice but in the end i'll be honest i wasn't left like wow, or overall that amazed by it. it was just an average verse nothing stood out that much to me ya know. still it was good and all, just not ya best.

Kaybi-this was a well written verse too, yuor imagery and overall description really stood out, the only thing that sort of bothered me is the end-rhymes. they all seemed to be these big words that ryhme at the end of each line, there wasn't much for the flow to work with inbetween if ya know what i'm saying, and sometimes lines didn't transition as smooth as they could of. still the overall content and writing won it for you it was just a more content driven peice.

Good match here guys. Good Luck To Both

Vote-Kaybi

[TeKneeK]

The difference of the match came from who brought alot more thorough imagery... and more emotion.... CK had more of a deepness that required thought... and also with some unique poetical developments in certain stanzas.... a more lighthearted type of feel.....

KAYBI brought more descriptive details... a bit too specific in how u utilized vocabs.... i think u shuld calm a bit with that.... but throughout it was pretty much strong in all elements...


kaybi: 84
CK: 81

[WWIII]

Vote - Cerial

I wasn't feeling the poetry, large parts didn't rhyme in kaybi's verse. CK's scheme was on point and the two topics meshed well. The God has spoken.

[LDogg The King]

cerial had a better drop in my opinion...i wasnt diggin the structure of kaybies and the flow could have been a bit better in parts.. the poetry was cool, but it wasnt too subject related in parts.. cool drop though

vote - cerial

[Awedishin]

Knowing a thought of her would forever control his ligaments

wtf? lol....that's a little bit of a stretch

anyways

Kaybi, overall my impression was it's ok, but nothing spectacular...there's some lines in there that are suspect like the one above. Forcing things just to make the rhyme flow isn't a good idea usually. I think that was poor word choice, honestly. Anyways....like said, decent, but I think you even did better last week

CK - pretty cool, I liked the scheme and flow, the imagery was coo....the different parts played a cool role...this verse was good, nothing amazing from you, but very solid and enough to win

vote CK

3 - 3 shoit's tite

[A.S.K]

3-3

but ceral didnt post votes

kaybi wins

[A.S.K]

my bad

ceral did vote

I THINK U BOTH advance, im not 100% sure

so will leave this open for the big man to come handle

[Cereal_Killer]

thanx A.S.K

defeats the purpose of this being a tournament if both of us advance....

im not saying cereal alone or I alone should advance, but in a whole bunch of matches both opponents do.. shouldnt there be a sudden death, or win by two votes kinda thing?

[Tha Talent]

both advance for this tournament, at least this round.
but for the future, i will consider your idea