EAST - 13. Ibeechur Moms vs. 4. Anaphora

Tha Talent · 09-26-2004, 08:54 PM

RSTL TOURNAMENT
Round One

DUE DATES

VERSES DUE Thursday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST/

VOTES DUE Sunday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST

TOPICS

Round 1 Tournament Topics

LINE LIMIT

4 lines - NO SHOWS
16 lines - MINIMUM
60 lines - MAXIMUM

VOTING

No payback votes
No 2nd Chance Votes

YOU MUST MUST MUST
POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

YOU MUST VOTE ON 6 BATTLES
for every vote you fail to submit and post a link for you will be deducted 1

if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!

Go Forth and Produce

Anaphora · 09-27-2004, 02:50 AM

Yeah, I don't no show, everyone should know that by now...

Ibeechur Moms · 09-30-2004, 02:56 AM

i'll show...i pinky swear

Ibeechur Moms · 09-30-2004, 03:28 PM

Staring at your reflection, it starts to talk to you.

Self confidence...in an essence is prominent
as an adolescent this metamorphed into an issue I lacked
the dominant feature that should be fortified was never intact
it was my lifestream that'll forever be damned
damn.....

At the mall I played the spared tire
my friends wife'd up....we walked to the food court
they talked about their opprotunities...didn't know where mine was
attention span was soon to leave...I went to arby's
but wendy's is where the rest choose to eat
the menu was on the counter top...which was an easy view for me
cause I had my head down alot...
a thin sheet of glass coated the whole
but the reflection was enough to be noticable
I looked at it and I immediately knew what it was thinking
I turned my head in shame...to see my friends
laughing and drinking their shakes...leaving
without me....

"see ya guys!....I'll catch yall at the fair!"

needless to say i didn't see them...
for the whole week it was there...

by myself..I ran into the house of mirrors
starring at my many distorted reflections....
didn't know what to expect then
the images were my worst fears, and my best friends
it's weird, sad and true indeed
their faces disgusted me...but they were there for me
and gone at will....like I expected it
my plain reflection was loud and clear..
but here....their were mixed messages
If I got upset with one...I just moved on
I'd spend hours in that house of wonder
and since then...i haven't had a week of comfot

Anaphora · 09-30-2004, 07:45 PM

It came in the rain, as it always seems to.
Headache, pain, when seams unglue
Dreams come true, but only if they're nightmares
That grip your life's fabric, pulling til they might tear
Reality slips, and turns real to surreal in an instant
With a terrifying imprint, turns adults to infants
It's in that moment, fear becomes embodied
and bodies, once thought safe, now seem haunting.

It's raining and the swamp is on the rise again
Bayou to some, but it's swamp to me and my men
Stationed far from French homelands with no plans
Named for King Louis, but this land is no man's
Strange spirits are claimed near this site right here it's...
Spooky to be this deep in, that's when fear hits
Local legend said when it rains, the ghosts come out
taking any living body they can run down before the sun's out
And it's begun now. Jacques felt ill and laid to rest
James came next, and soon half the troops claimed it best
to sleep, even I felt it coming on, but I forced myself awake
I fought my eyes, and finally won with the help of snakes
I'm scared to death of 'em, and imagined the place crawling thick
My eye found a stick, and I jumped yelling 'Snake!!!' like I was out of it
That's when they rose, the men were zombies
Eyes rolled back, and in a second they were on me
Responding fast as lightning I dashed into the water
Even though I had seen snakes and crocs there
But I didn't care, I was escaping death as I fled
The living dead, filling dread on down from my head
I passed snakes who looked afraid of me, terror is my eyes
Hearing behind me, the dead alive trying to terrorize
and it was working, clouds covered the full moon's smirking
They wouldn't just hurt me, and they were everywhere lurking
I finally crawled out of the muck with my luck, in a settlement
Though, afraid I'd run into the dead again I headed in
just as the rain let up, and sun came out easing the gloominess
Walked in filthy and stinking, into a room ever luminous
They thought me a lunatic, when I explained what had passed
Then laughed, saying hallucenation's an effect of rain on swamp gas...

09-30-2004, 07:58 PM

Ibeechur moms, you started this up slow, really realistic... maybe too realistic for my taste. but i got through it , understood it and got to the second part. It was nice, it flowed well, it was deep, metaphorical and just completely different from the first part. That passage made me say dammm..... emotional..... Overall, you suffered bad for the lack of flow and emotion in the first part of your piece, but you ended it well.

Anaphora.

At first when i was reading your verse i thought it was about a completely different thing, and of different genre, i actually took it for psychotic emotional babble that i come across once in a while. and it was. it was. only the finisher turned it all around and made it what it is and shone light on the whole story so i coulld understand it. flow was perfect. the beginning passage was nice. which also was only fully undesrtood after i finished the piece.
Well written.
Surprised or not i thought this was close, Moms' came with emotion that could so closely be related to himself, and anaphora came with an ill surprising story.

Vote = Anaphora

Cereal_Killer · 09-30-2004, 09:45 PM

beechu:
You needed to punctuate that intro dude it killed me to read it. After that I was waiting for something to jump out at me but I never really got there it just dragged on.
Sorry bud but this isn’t up there for me.

4.5/10

Ana:
I always have loved everything you’ve dropped, you are one of my favourite writers on here. Top 10. This piece was no exception flow started of great and then dropped to good but the details in the story where amazing all the way through. But what I really enjoyed about this piece was the brilliant end. I love it your getting more twisted as the days go on.

8.2/10

Vote = anaphora

Anaphora · 10-01-2004, 03:02 AM

Votes:

WEST - 3. Atheist vs. 14. Yung Impression
SOUTH - 15. VinnieT vs. 2. Tha Talent
EAST - 15. Troublesome vs. 2. MC4Sight

Ibeechur Moms · 10-01-2004, 03:24 AM

not all flow has to be predictable.....but yeah....good drop ana

Urban AKA · 10-01-2004, 03:56 AM

Ibeech- Rhyme scheme was nice, I don't know what the rest were talking about, but I enjoyed the intro quite a bit. Your verse was deep, flow was on point. Ended your verse nicely aswell.

Ana- Just like Ibeech, your flow was on point... of course.. You left some good details to be instilled in my mind. Your ending, I would have to say, was better than Ibeech's. One of the best verses I've seen in a topical.

I dont know what Killer's talkin about, but this was a pretty close one. I was feeling both verses but I could feel Ana's a bit more.

Vote- Ana

Mac Flow · 10-01-2004, 05:05 AM

above no shows

Anaphora · 10-02-2004, 01:04 AM

Yeah um... I'll kick this to the top now...

LDogg The King · 10-02-2004, 03:24 AM

vote ana.. why? way better writers voice.. you can tell which one of these writers has more experiance writing stories...its cool to see beech showing up though.. im sure if you would stay in the league to work on your stories.. you would be a threat.

ana.. i liked the verse.. word choice was good.. i stayed interested..story was better laid out then beech's..

gl to you voth.

Ashen Horse · 10-02-2004, 10:22 AM

wow. Anaphora after your first few lines I almost felt like I had to go with Ibeechur... well...

Ibeechur.... you know what I liked your piece... alot... I really did... I found the flow but fuck the flow... that was a really good read... ....... but... my single knock... it could have been exxxpanded alllot!

Anaphora... I just didn't know what I was getting into after the first few lines... I didn't feel it at first... but then the book was open... ahh it got much better and actually turned out really nice... I hope you meant to write this as a metaphor... even if you didn't it was still really good...

vote- Anaphora... in a close battle... both had good stories... but Ana's was just put together better than MOM'S story

BusterHymen · 10-02-2004, 06:16 PM

vote Anaphora

I really liked the creativity you put in this verse. Ibeech came good and I liked the way you wrote it. But i think you should of added more to it...explained somethings just slightly more. The content was good and the flow was good. But expansion would of made this verse amazing. Ana you took yours in a creative direction and I enjoyed it. It just got better the more I read it and it pulled me in from the start. I just think you won this on enjoyment and creativity.

Mac Flow · 10-03-2004, 08:59 PM

Anaphora, although not covering his voting limitations still wins

09-26-2004, 08:54 PM	#1 (permalink)
Tha Talent , Tha Master. Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: in the hall of fame. Posts: 3,588	EAST - 13. Ibeechur Moms vs. 4. Anaphora RSTL TOURNAMENT Round One DUE DATES VERSES DUE Thursday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST/ VOTES DUE Sunday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST TOPICS Round 1 Tournament Topics LINE LIMIT 4 lines - NO SHOWS 16 lines - MINIMUM 60 lines - MAXIMUM VOTING No payback votes No 2nd Chance Votes YOU MUST MUST MUST POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD.. YOU MUST VOTE ON 6 BATTLES for every vote you fail to submit and post a link for you will be deducted 1 if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!! Go Forth and Produce

09-27-2004, 02:50 AM	#2 (permalink)
Anaphora was here Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,694	Yeah, I don't no show, everyone should know that by now... __________________ -- -- -- -- "Those who know they are profound strive for clarity. Those who would like to seem profound strive for obscurity." -Nietzsche -- -- -- -- -- -- This isn't a place for people to improve. This is a support group, where everybody just pats each other on the back and give words of encouragement. -predicate* on the poetry realm*

09-30-2004, 07:45 PM	#5 (permalink)
Anaphora was here Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,694	It came in the rain, as it always seems to. Headache, pain, when seams unglue Dreams come true, but only if they're nightmares That grip your life's fabric, pulling til they might tear Reality slips, and turns real to surreal in an instant With a terrifying imprint, turns adults to infants It's in that moment, fear becomes embodied and bodies, once thought safe, now seem haunting. It's raining and the swamp is on the rise again Bayou to some, but it's swamp to me and my men Stationed far from French homelands with no plans Named for King Louis, but this land is no man's Strange spirits are claimed near this site right here it's... Spooky to be this deep in, that's when fear hits Local legend said when it rains, the ghosts come out taking any living body they can run down before the sun's out And it's begun now. Jacques felt ill and laid to rest James came next, and soon half the troops claimed it best to sleep, even I felt it coming on, but I forced myself awake I fought my eyes, and finally won with the help of snakes I'm scared to death of 'em, and imagined the place crawling thick My eye found a stick, and I jumped yelling 'Snake!!!' like I was out of it That's when they rose, the men were zombies Eyes rolled back, and in a second they were on me Responding fast as lightning I dashed into the water Even though I had seen snakes and crocs there But I didn't care, I was escaping death as I fled The living dead, filling dread on down from my head I passed snakes who looked afraid of me, terror is my eyes Hearing behind me, the dead alive trying to terrorize and it was working, clouds covered the full moon's smirking They wouldn't just hurt me, and they were everywhere lurking I finally crawled out of the muck with my luck, in a settlement Though, afraid I'd run into the dead again I headed in just as the rain let up, and sun came out easing the gloominess Walked in filthy and stinking, into a room ever luminous They thought me a lunatic, when I explained what had passed Then laughed, saying hallucenation's an effect of rain on swamp gas... __________________ -- -- -- -- "Those who know they are profound strive for clarity. Those who would like to seem profound strive for obscurity." -Nietzsche -- -- -- -- -- -- This isn't a place for people to improve. This is a support group, where everybody just pats each other on the back and give words of encouragement. -predicate* on the poetry realm*

10-01-2004, 03:02 AM	#8 (permalink)
Anaphora was here Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,694	Votes: WEST - 3. Atheist vs. 14. Yung Impression SOUTH - 15. VinnieT vs. 2. Tha Talent EAST - 15. Troublesome vs. 2. MC4Sight __________________ -- -- -- -- "Those who know they are profound strive for clarity. Those who would like to seem profound strive for obscurity." -Nietzsche -- -- -- -- -- -- This isn't a place for people to improve. This is a support group, where everybody just pats each other on the back and give words of encouragement. -predicate* on the poetry realm* Last edited by Anaphora; 10-03-2004 at 05:29 AM. Reason: because I'm eating cocoa krispies

10-01-2004, 03:56 AM	#10 (permalink)
Urban AKA Proper Respect Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Memphis Posts: 373	Ibeech- Rhyme scheme was nice, I don't know what the rest were talking about, but I enjoyed the intro quite a bit. Your verse was deep, flow was on point. Ended your verse nicely aswell. Ana- Just like Ibeech, your flow was on point... of course.. You left some good details to be instilled in my mind. Your ending, I would have to say, was better than Ibeech's. One of the best verses I've seen in a topical. I dont know what Killer's talkin about, but this was a pretty close one. I was feeling both verses but I could feel Ana's a bit more. Vote- Ana __________________ Music

09-30-2004, 02:56 AM	#3 (permalink)
Ibeechur Moms IF Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 460	i'll show...i pinky swear

09-30-2004, 03:28 PM	#4 (permalink)
Ibeechur Moms IF Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 460	Staring at your reflection, it starts to talk to you. Self confidence...in an essence is prominent as an adolescent this metamorphed into an issue I lacked the dominant feature that should be fortified was never intact it was my lifestream that'll forever be damned damn..... At the mall I played the spared tire my friends wife'd up....we walked to the food court they talked about their opprotunities...didn't know where mine was attention span was soon to leave...I went to arby's but wendy's is where the rest choose to eat the menu was on the counter top...which was an easy view for me cause I had my head down alot... a thin sheet of glass coated the whole but the reflection was enough to be noticable I looked at it and I immediately knew what it was thinking I turned my head in shame...to see my friends laughing and drinking their shakes...leaving without me.... "see ya guys!....I'll catch yall at the fair!" needless to say i didn't see them... for the whole week it was there... by myself..I ran into the house of mirrors starring at my many distorted reflections.... didn't know what to expect then the images were my worst fears, and my best friends it's weird, sad and true indeed their faces disgusted me...but they were there for me and gone at will....like I expected it my plain reflection was loud and clear.. but here....their were mixed messages If I got upset with one...I just moved on I'd spend hours in that house of wonder and since then...i haven't had a week of comfot

09-30-2004, 07:58 PM	#6 (permalink)
Kaybi Guest Posts: n/a	Ibeechur moms, you started this up slow, really realistic... maybe too realistic for my taste. but i got through it , understood it and got to the second part. It was nice, it flowed well, it was deep, metaphorical and just completely different from the first part. That passage made me say dammm..... emotional..... Overall, you suffered bad for the lack of flow and emotion in the first part of your piece, but you ended it well. Anaphora. At first when i was reading your verse i thought it was about a completely different thing, and of different genre, i actually took it for psychotic emotional babble that i come across once in a while. and it was. it was. only the finisher turned it all around and made it what it is and shone light on the whole story so i coulld understand it. flow was perfect. the beginning passage was nice. which also was only fully undesrtood after i finished the piece. Well written. Surprised or not i thought this was close, Moms' came with emotion that could so closely be related to himself, and anaphora came with an ill surprising story. Vote = Anaphora

09-30-2004, 09:45 PM	#7 (permalink)
Cereal_Killer California Cornflakes Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In a tub of gutter glitter Posts: 3,180	beechu: You needed to punctuate that intro dude it killed me to read it. After that I was waiting for something to jump out at me but I never really got there it just dragged on. Sorry bud but this isn’t up there for me. 4.5/10 Ana: I always have loved everything you’ve dropped, you are one of my favourite writers on here. Top 10. This piece was no exception flow started of great and then dropped to good but the details in the story where amazing all the way through. But what I really enjoyed about this piece was the brilliant end. I love it your getting more twisted as the days go on. 8.2/10 Vote = anaphora

10-01-2004, 03:24 AM	#9 (permalink)
Ibeechur Moms IF Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 460	not all flow has to be predictable.....but yeah....good drop ana

10-01-2004, 05:05 AM	#11 (permalink)
Mac Flow Die Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: The Commonwealth Posts: 24,066	above no shows __________________ ...The Elite, who else... You run around talkin bout how every dime sucked you, when they don't even speak to you - nevermind fuck you KY's Finest ...DM Forever...

10-02-2004, 01:04 AM	#12 (permalink)
Anaphora was here Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,694	Yeah um... I'll kick this to the top now... __________________ -- -- -- -- "Those who know they are profound strive for clarity. Those who would like to seem profound strive for obscurity." -Nietzsche -- -- -- -- -- -- This isn't a place for people to improve. This is a support group, where everybody just pats each other on the back and give words of encouragement. -predicate* on the poetry realm*

10-02-2004, 03:24 AM	#13 (permalink)
LDogg The King S E A T T L E Join Date: Jan 2000 Location: Seattle Posts: 16,637	vote ana.. why? way better writers voice.. you can tell which one of these writers has more experiance writing stories...its cool to see beech showing up though.. im sure if you would stay in the league to work on your stories.. you would be a threat. ana.. i liked the verse.. word choice was good.. i stayed interested..story was better laid out then beech's.. gl to you voth. __________________ ELITE motherfuckers www.soundclick.com/downedshadow www.myspace.com/downedshadow I wish the game was reversed and my verse was the beat so you'd listen to me first, and then dance later... I aint dumbing down shit, you don't get it, get a fuckin translator - Bishop Lamont

10-02-2004, 10:22 AM	#14 (permalink)
Ashen Horse Ashen Horse Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 1,142	wow. Anaphora after your first few lines I almost felt like I had to go with Ibeechur... well... Ibeechur.... you know what I liked your piece... alot... I really did... I found the flow but fuck the flow... that was a really good read... ....... but... my single knock... it could have been exxxpanded alllot! Anaphora... I just didn't know what I was getting into after the first few lines... I didn't feel it at first... but then the book was open... ahh it got much better and actually turned out really nice... I hope you meant to write this as a metaphor... even if you didn't it was still really good... vote- Anaphora... in a close battle... both had good stories... but Ana's was just put together better than MOM'S story

10-02-2004, 06:16 PM	#15 (permalink)
BusterHymen Registered User Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 76	vote Anaphora I really liked the creativity you put in this verse. Ibeech came good and I liked the way you wrote it. But i think you should of added more to it...explained somethings just slightly more. The content was good and the flow was good. But expansion would of made this verse amazing. Ana you took yours in a creative direction and I enjoyed it. It just got better the more I read it and it pulled me in from the start. I just think you won this on enjoyment and creativity.

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10-03-2004, 08:59 PM	#16 (permalink)
Mac Flow Die Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: The Commonwealth Posts: 24,066	Anaphora, although not covering his voting limitations still wins __________________ ...The Elite, who else... You run around talkin bout how every dime sucked you, when they don't even speak to you - nevermind fuck you KY's Finest ...DM Forever...

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