33- Dr. Shinobi Vs 34- EverKleer

[Nebz]

VERSES DUE Thursday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST/
VOTES DUE Sunday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST


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Go Forth and Produce

[Vern Acular]

RSTL TOPICS

Get Your Topics!!

[Everkleer]

9. You're Naughty Nebzer explain your life. *wink wink*

Checkin in, Nebz you shouldn't have...

35- Fraud Hukstable Vs 36- FYIFB
31- Copywritten Vs 32- Dr. Cause
11- Harlequin (9-2) Vs 12- Formal Logic (9-3)
http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...50#post9005150
http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...12#post9005212
15- Madpoet (8-2) Vs 16- Noib da Mutt (8-2)

RSTL Tourney Vote
http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...16#post9017916

[Dr. Shinobi]

8. Start your verse by turning a light switch on, and end your verse by turning a light switch off.



Light switch on, wake up, get outta bed
Mom yelling "Get up boy, or im'a count ta ten",
So I'm quick to my feet, take a shower and dress
Brush my teeth up, clean 'em out with the Crest,
Jus' a taste of mint, got socks and laced the timbs
Dipped from the crib, saw my whip misplaced its rims!,
"What the fuck is this?! Someone has gotta pay!
Cause I know them shits aint just get up n' walk away!",
Great way ta start a day, but ah... hold up
I gotta little bit'a trees ta.. but nah, no blunt,
I think its safe ta say that I got no stash
Maybe I could hit the store... but nah, no cash,
No whip, no blunt, plus im late for work
And I dont wanna walk because my ankles hurt,
Then I heard moms yellin' from across the lot
"Dont even bother walking... ya just lost ya job!",
No job, no weed, no whip wit chrome wheels
Just a whip wit no wheels, can flow, but no deal,
Maybe i'll call wifey up so we can go chill
"Where'd the dial tone go? Nobody paid the phone bill?!",
Fuck it then I guess, I am a little hungary
Made a bowl 'a cereal ...but the milks a little chunky,
What the hell is this... nothing is going right
And everytime I try, my luck will over-ride,

(Knock, knock)..

Now who the fuck is that, knocking at my door?
Come to my luck is was the one.. who I happen to adore,
"Hold on, lemme freshen up, I havent even shaved."
But before I did that the bitch slapped me in the face,
She said "That's for not calling me like you supposed to!
And it's over for us, I don't even think I know you!",
"Be my guest.. go ahead.. bitch leave!
Your nothing but a jumpoff... best said, a dick tease!",
So I slammed the door.. slammed to the floor
Broke out screaming "I can't stand no more!",
I know where ta go.. my home away from home
Where I can go in my own zone on the microphone,
Pissed off as I am... i'm feen'a drop a track
As i'm walkin' ta the studio someone is talkin trash..
I said, "You aint nothin' wit'cha back to my face.."
When he turned around he introduced a bat to my face!,
He ran my pockets.. there's nothin he'd want ta grab..
Except for that motherfuckin bag of weed I forgot I had!
And shit.. right now i'm not even pissed off..
cause..
All I can think about is if I remembered ta turn my light switch off..?




A little rusty.. g'luck tho

[Everkleer]

9. You're Naughty Nebzer explain your life. *wink wink*


Im only black when Im sleepin, a fiend only while dreaming
Wake up to sunshine streaming with my radiant smile beaming
Mat my hair down with grease so itll fit neat under my beanie
Yall may wannabe me but dont ever put my steez to the test
Cuz I use a protractor to rock my fitted 20 degrees to the left
Kiss my poster of Jay Z before I leave cuz I believe hes the best
I dont need any rest, plenty of sleep my cuz my bedtime is ten
Then I walk my ass downstairs, bustin phat rhymes again
But a voice chimed in, mom was like "what you rhymin Ben?"
I started crying then, "my names not Ben its Naughty Nebz"
And I collapsed in her arms, nearly fallin down the steps
"You tired?" "Nah just a little sore from doing countless reps
of 90 pounds or less, on my bench press that Santa brought me"
Went downstairs for breakfest, two cinnamon rolls and frosting
A large cup of coffee, in front of the big screen Daddy bought me
And nothing is what it cost me, for this luxuriously good life
Kissed my mom goodbye, but shit changed when I got outside
Got my pimp walk on, into my car, hung an arm out my ride
Fearin Im about to die, then I remember I live in Sunny Acres
Best part of town, but I swear to God that money hates us
Fa sheezy all my neezies on the block know my fun behavior
Make a break for school to avoid any run in with danger
I park my car in the lot, in the farthest spot from the door
Start to walk in, spittin game gettin hott with this whore
Virgin? Not anymore, fresh offa cybersex Id gotten before
Feelin confident, pants so baggy the crotch hit the floor
It was so scary in first period they was returnin the tests
I needed a good grade, the anticipation burned in my chest
Because if I got an A daddy promised hed refurnish my Lex
I yearned for the best, saw a 98 A+ turned on my test
I nearly jumped for joy, oh how proud my daddy would be
I glanced over at my boy P, in the seat next to me
He smirked and gave me a head nod like "How'd ya do B?"
"You know me, I failed worse than drug tests from Snoop D"
Had to lie, Id die if my boys knew I was sportin all A's
Math was soon over, so I was walkin through the hallways
When I saw some black guys, so I avoid em like always
Cuz last time I tried to holla at em they jacked my kicks
Laugh at my shit and then they tried to mack on my bitch
I werent havin that shit, I straight up told the principal
I aint afraid of no gang, I told him to suspend the fools
I bent the rules, and went home feeling like a faggot
I was a laughingstock, got on RMC to start my braggin
Let loose on the net, boss around newbies for some action
Now Im a hardass, I got vet status and a mod job to back it


this was my first attempt at comedy
hope you enjoyed, and its all in fun Nebz *wink wink*

[ErykahCaine]

nice battle

Kleer:
lol..this shit was nice. I'm usually not to keen on comedic verses, but yours was executed excellently. Flow was consitently smooth throughout. You had some cool imagery in the piece. Overall it was enjoyable to read, kept me interested throughout. Nice Job.

fav. parts

Cuz I use a protractor to rock my fitted 20 degrees to the left
lol

Virgin? Not anymore, fresh offa cybersex Id gotten before
Feelin confident, pants so baggy the crotch hit the floor
again brought a smile to my face

I aint afraid of no gang, I told him to suspend the fools
I bent the rules, and went home feeling like a faggot
I was a laughingstock, got on RMC to start my braggin
Let loose on the net, boss around newbies for some action
Now Im a hardass, I got vet status and a mod job to back it


Dr. S:

Ok, This was aiight. OVerall concept and storyline was real simplistic. I just felt like you could've brought way more to this piece, and its a really open ended topic so you could've flipped this to some crazy shit. It was cool though it kinda reminded of me of that song "Double Dutch Bus"..lol..I son't know if anyone know what that is, but its the same concept and real catchy..lol...Your piece wasn't garbage, just not executed to its full potential. Cool job.

With that said my vote=Kleer

[Everkleer]

aight thanks for the vote uppin for more

[Copywritten]

This was a pretty good battle. I was feelin kleer's a lot more though, some of the shit he said got a chuckle out of me and he had a sick, consistent flow that made it an easy read.

Shinobi also had a hot ass verse that made it very hard for me to decide which one I liked better. Pretty much came down to the style I felt more, which at the time was comedic.

Overall, hot battle, both good writers.

Vote - Kleer

[Verbatimental]

Disagree...


Everkleer's story is good but honestly with no creative style or anything... the comedy factor was the sole thing that got me to smile about this....

Dr Shin brought his whole structure held tight beginning to end.... had a very very imagelike story.... smooth... well told... attracted me more... and it wasnt forced at all...


vote Dr Shin

[Everkleer]

no comment...2-1

[phatkid]

when i first read these verses i had no idea who won
then after a second read it seems that Dr shinobi had a much cleaner sounding verse
everkleer had nice compounds goin on, but i was having a bit more difficult with your flow
I liked the content on both, both of these rhymes were real solid reads
I vote for Dr shinobi
due to a smoother feel and easier read

[Spit That]

Kleer: I was really feeling the whole comedic theme of your verse...I dont really have any complaints...The whole thing was cool because its one of those verses where you smile throught reading the whole thing...Something else I noticed about it(which had nothing to do wit my decision) is that if you flipped and worded that verse a little it could make a decent battle verse...ha...imagine that

Dr Shin:I like your verse as well...the imagery in the sense of you being able to just picture this was just amazing...that was really cool about your verse...it flowed preety well with a clear defined topic throughout the whole thing...the deciding factor in the vote was that I really wasnt feeling your ending...seemed kinda forced there to just fit the topic...

Vote-EverKleer

[Dr. Shinobi]

haha.. i did force it.. writers blocks a muthafucka

thanks yall

[Everkleer]

3-2 preciate the voting

[Vern Acular]

everkleer wins