EAST: 04- Sequel vs 05- Dmetrius

This is a discussion on EAST: 04- Sequel vs 05- Dmetrius within the RapMusic's Storytelling League forums, part of the Text Battle Leagues category; ROUND 2 :: TOPICS :: http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...02#post8856002 :: BAR/LINE LIMITS :: min = 24 max = 48 :: VOTING :: voting ...


Go Back   Rapmusic.com > Text Battle Leagues > RapMusic's Storytelling League

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-17-2004, 04:06 PM   #1 (permalink)
12x RSTL Champ
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: NC
Posts: 5,027
Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!
EAST: 04- Sequel vs 05- Dmetrius


ROUND 2



:: TOPICS ::

http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...02#post8856002


:: BAR/LINE LIMITS ::

min = 24
max = 48

:: VOTING ::

voting is mandatory, you must vote and post links on ( 5 ) battles, you will be deducted if you dont, if you cant vote on time, aim me and tell me why and maybe i'll let you slide, but im an asshole so you better have a good reason

:: DUE DATES ::

verses = thursday @ midnight eastern time
votes = sunday @ noon eastern time

*NO EXTENTIONS THIS WEEK FOR ANY REASON*

good luck

__________________
TH3 3LIT3
2005 NO ID TOURNEY WINNER
1x POET TREE CHAMP
12x RSTL CHAMP


Yes...I've Beat You Before
www.soundclick.com/eulogy
www.myspace.com/eulogy46

Vern Acular is offline  
Old 05-17-2004, 05:20 PM   #2 (permalink)
Los Angeles Lakers Suck
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Beyond You
Posts: 539
Vice Roy takes it up the butt!
NORTH: 01- Omen vs 08- Erykah Caine
WEST: 01- Vern Acular vs 09- Noib Da Mutt
WEST: 03- Tekneek vs 11- Lord Drama
WEST: 02- Infinite Truth vs 07- Idol Z
EAST: 07- MC4Sight vs 15- Everkleer


CT Votes

Last edited by Vice Roy; 05-23-2004 at 12:55 PM.
Vice Roy is offline  
Old 05-18-2004, 12:19 AM   #3 (permalink)
³³³³³s and bananas
 
DMeTRIUS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 13,006
DMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child support
infinite truth v. idol z
mc4sight v. everkleer
vern v. noib
tek v. l dogg
omen v. erykah caine
__________________
The Olympics is nothing but a full political scene—everything in world athletics is. You tell a kid the Olympics is the highest form of athletics. That it's man against man, soul against soul. But when you get to the Games it's all different from what you've been told all your life. It's country against country, ideology against ideology. - john carlos





Last edited by DMeTRIUS; 05-22-2004 at 08:31 PM.
DMeTRIUS is offline  
Old 05-20-2004, 05:43 PM   #4 (permalink)
³³³³³s and bananas
 
DMeTRIUS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 13,006
DMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child supportDMeTRIUS Is late paying my child support

topic: pandoras box

A mix of facts and fictions, truths and superstitions
Prophets and scientitions, reciting their premonitions
Divisions of mass religions, inciting a mass collision
A different system of truths for Muslims, •••s, and Christians
A slew of views and visions, creation of coalitions
A formation of contradictions, stay stationed with indecisions
Accepted recidivism, derision of those imprisoned
National ties rescinded, increase of lies permitted
The retention of information, a privilege of administration
The most corrupt corporation is our nation’s representation
They change the face of nations, lay waste to those who face them
And expect our cooperation, through moot truths and explanations
We’re not far removed from segregation, plus racism’s still pervasive
And the pain of those enchained, has sustained through generations
But while some stay abrasive, seeking their reparations
Many remain complacent, accepting their situation
How can you wait for innovation, without active participation
Yet be so quick towards indignation, when affected by others changes
I pray this leads to revelation, breeds seeds of inspiration
Kills weeds through deterration, then proceeds to transformation
From destruction to restoration, from ignorance to education
Allow the incubation of knowledge, welcome maturation

This isn’t a debasement of races, religion, or our nation
These are my realizations, seeking some respiration
I release these I see as evil things, through written narration
Because I’ve learned that having Hope is my only salvation
__________________
The Olympics is nothing but a full political scene—everything in world athletics is. You tell a kid the Olympics is the highest form of athletics. That it's man against man, soul against soul. But when you get to the Games it's all different from what you've been told all your life. It's country against country, ideology against ideology. - john carlos




DMeTRIUS is offline  
Old 05-21-2004, 12:50 AM   #5 (permalink)
Los Angeles Lakers Suck
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Beyond You
Posts: 539
Vice Roy takes it up the butt!
you've been lost for the past few days, not because you dont know
where you are, but you dont know who you are,
everything you ever held dear to you has been deleted from your life,
can you find yourself again and move on,
or will you just evaporate in the emptyness

I Made 3 Short Stories With Same Meaning To 1 Topic... Enjoy




++The Tales To Find Self++



(A Child Lost)
Existence stumps, Its a myth ta some
A drift amongst missing ones, A mist amidst friends an loves
A kid that was ripped from hugs
Is sure ta leave security as a rift surcomes
Picture the innocents of a child slightly wronged
Who remembers it everyday like it still might go on
Low an behold it'll burden a soul enough
A stare frozen an cold, unconscious of self is the only trust
To avoid realizations of mishaps and dangers
The traps that take ya to being snatched by strangers
Worse is a ruse through - Outsiders over vocal tips
To Social services - In an order to remove you
And empty ya life to new but you feel no right if any
Its trife an simply dumb expectin one ta live a life thas emptied
If thats the case we'd of all been born a shell
Not had a tortured hell holding on to our former selves
So push on ahead tryin ta pillage and thieve souls
I'll cling to nonviolence like I aint letting that piece go

(Sands of Time)
Back in times of Egyptian Pharoahes
They had riches thorough, wealthy an living fertile
Digging burrows, virtual monolithic hurdles
To skip inferno, wake devine an live eternal
Aint take the time to find self among others
Until sands pour in and they become smothered
Some shudder at the thought of sucha lonliness
Escape conscious, To become excavated bones ta pick
Short on a rule that even spans a tenure
Cause you've become nothing that you can remember
and you've lost your family and friends for this
Then realize that you've found your self in emptyness

(Mental Patient Outcries)
Rocking back an forth shackled. Whachu fear, Doc?
The frustration on my face grows with each tear drop.
These cell bars keep me from jumping to die.
I'm an outsider which is why I probably cant function inside.
I say I'm normal. Fuck the opinions of another man.
Thinking I'ma pedophliac, psycho terrets killer with bloody hands.
Fucking White walls white clothes and whitewash.
Is this suppose to be a cleanslate - with tha dirt wiped off?
If so its working, so why are your fears so strong?
I'm losing focus on who I am, I been here so long.
But its also criss crossed, das easy ta see.
I've lost myself following what you lead me to believe.
What can you expect but me ta be cast deep
Into insanitys threshold. I'm societies black sheep
At best though this sanctem'll leave me with crude feelings.
Just cause some bullshit over analytical dude wills it
Familys all I need but futile crying pleas the same
How can all the crazy people around me keep me sane?

Vice Roy is offline  
Old 05-21-2004, 08:16 AM   #6 (permalink)
More then meets the eye
 
6th_plague's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Georgia
Posts: 26,465
6th_plague will do you doggie style!6th_plague will do you doggie style!6th_plague will do you doggie style!6th_plague will do you doggie style!6th_plague will do you doggie style!6th_plague will do you doggie style!6th_plague will do you doggie style!6th_plague will do you doggie style!6th_plague will do you doggie style!6th_plague will do you doggie style!6th_plague will do you doggie style!
Thanks for showing, Lets up this for some votes!
__________________
Fortune 5 Hunned - Behind the Smoke and Mirrors
May 2007

are you ready?


New Single -Hi Haters
6th_plague is offline  
Old 05-21-2004, 12:04 PM   #7 (permalink)
JOE COMMiSSO
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: MICHIGAN
Posts: 1,767
MC4SiGHT will do you doggie style!MC4SiGHT will do you doggie style!MC4SiGHT will do you doggie style!MC4SiGHT will do you doggie style!MC4SiGHT will do you doggie style!MC4SiGHT will do you doggie style!MC4SiGHT will do you doggie style!MC4SiGHT will do you doggie style!MC4SiGHT will do you doggie style!MC4SiGHT will do you doggie style!MC4SiGHT will do you doggie style!
dmetrius...this was a nice verse from you...had good emotion, flow was flawless, stayed on topic...the last 4 lines were really nice...

Sequel...i really liked how it was broke up into 3 short stories...made for a good read...flow was iight...emotion was there...overall though i felt that dmetrius had the overall better verse...he jus seemed to be more focused on the topic and the storytellin aspect of the verse....

Vote-Dmetrius
__________________
THE ELITE
1X RSTL CHAMPION
2004 RSTL TOURNAMENT CHAMPION
RSTL League Record 27-9
Overall RSTL Record with tournies. 38-10
MC4SiGHT is offline  
Old 05-21-2004, 09:04 PM   #8 (permalink)
Black Hand Bittcchhhess!!
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Cali
Posts: 1,042
ErykahCaine takes it up the butt!
nice battle

sequel:

This was cool. I applaud you for taking a different and creative approach to the topic. The only problem I had with the overall concept and storyline was that IMO the three seperate stories didn't really seem to coincide with each other, though they eventually reached the same ending it just didn't fit. In the first story the flow was ehh..it fell off here and there, in the second it was damn near flawless. In the third it was ok. You came with a real nice idea, but i feel you didn't execute it well enough to get the W

Dem:
DAMN!! this was great. flow was flawless, wonderful display of multis. The overall concept was interesting and informational. Overall I really dug your style it keep me glued to the screen. You have a real strong writers voice and used it very well...Nice job

with that said vote=Demetrius

plz vote on me vs omen
ErykahCaine is offline  
Old 05-21-2004, 10:46 PM   #9 (permalink)
, Tha Master.
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: in the hall of fame.
Posts: 3,588
Tha Talent takes it up the butt!
DMeTRiUS:
honestly, if you had chosen ANY other rhyme, and gone the whole piece rhyming off of it, i would be much more impressed by your flow...but the "ation" sound is probably the easiest to rhyme off of in the book...still, you did make some valid statements and held a nice point of view with the whole hope thing...you didn't repeat yourself, and brought in a decent method of tying in the pandora's box concept...the thing i found to be the biggest flaw aside from your choice of rhymes was the originality...i've read a million verses about things like this...most of your points have full books written on them...and the method of presentation wasn't original either, because you just came out and said it...it was still a decent verse, but it was plain.

SeQueL:
i liked the concept a lot...it was very well written and each verse showed a different perspective on being mentally lost...i really liked the one about the child, it was smooth, and brought up some very valid points...all of this was very well written, and i liked how you switched up the style a little for each verse...the flow was dope throughout...the spelling was terrible...the only other negative thing i have to say is i didn't feel you brought the verses together well enough, perhaps a couple bars as a conclusion-esque thing would have worked...still, a very nice verse and, especially the Egyptian verse, it was fairly original.

vote=SeQueL
DM kinda just dwelled, while SeQueL created characters and displayed their struggles, and his writing and rhyme scheme were better.
__________________
elitely smo
Tha Talent is offline  
Old 05-21-2004, 11:19 PM   #10 (permalink)
faith.hope.love
 
Khôi NguJin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 639
Khôi NguJin will do you doggie style!Khôi NguJin will do you doggie style!Khôi NguJin will do you doggie style!Khôi NguJin will do you doggie style!Khôi NguJin will do you doggie style!Khôi NguJin will do you doggie style!Khôi NguJin will do you doggie style!Khôi NguJin will do you doggie style!Khôi NguJin will do you doggie style!Khôi NguJin will do you doggie style!Khôi NguJin will do you doggie style!
dmetrius..the assonance usage is really doope to use sometimes...but not through a 30 line verse lol...gets horribly repetitive and makes the reader lose interest...but this one had its ups...flow was straight for the most part..u seemed to take a lot of time on this, setting it all up...it is a storytellin' tournament..that was more of an open mic...but ill let it slide...it was cool.. noothing to get excited about.

sequel...it was a cool approach with the 3 short stories tieing in...imo the verses lacked substance, but was pretty well written. some things can be fixed, but nothing can be perfect....im feeling ur emotion that you give off throughout and you stayed consistent througout...props.

imma have to go with sequel...although i thought dmetrius was more polished..sequel had more apppeal.

v.Sequel
__________________


"True poets don't write with a pen, they write with the ink that flows from within their hearts"

- anon
Khôi NguJin is offline  
Old 05-22-2004, 08:20 PM   #11 (permalink)
Drankin Pat'na
 
Everkleer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 716
Everkleer will do you doggie style!Everkleer will do you doggie style!Everkleer will do you doggie style!Everkleer will do you doggie style!Everkleer will do you doggie style!Everkleer will do you doggie style!Everkleer will do you doggie style!Everkleer will do you doggie style!Everkleer will do you doggie style!Everkleer will do you doggie style!Everkleer will do you doggie style!
Seq-came with 3 great stories, all pertaining well to the same topic...flow was on point through all three, and all kept me interested throughout the endings of each one.

DMet-you came good as well, flow and rhyming was amazing throughout the whole thing, you never fell off in that area...however, I thought Seq's stories were much more developed than yours, I just felt his more

Both dropped dope verses tho, good battle

VOTE=Sequel
__________________
THIS IS MY BEEF NAME
Text Masters of the Universe
The Republican Party
Everkleer is offline  
Old 05-23-2004, 01:33 AM   #12 (permalink)
S E A T T L E
 
LDogg The King's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Seattle
Posts: 16,637
LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!LDogg The King will do you doggie style!
hmm.. both came real nice.. hard to pick a favorite.. but after reading them over a few times i enjoyed the steadyness of dmeatrius.. his topic seemed more on point an his message seemed more focused.. as to sequel, who mixed up a few differnt types of stories...but dont get me wrong.. seq is a unique writer an im diggin his style.. i just happend to enjoy demetrius more this week.

good luck to u both.

pz
__________________
ELITE motherfuckers
www.soundclick.com/downedshadow

www.myspace.com/downedshadow
I wish the game was reversed and my verse was the beat so you'd listen to me first, and then dance later... I aint dumbing down shit, you don't get it, get a fuckin translator - Bishop Lamont
LDogg The King is offline  
Old 05-23-2004, 07:35 PM   #13 (permalink)
12x RSTL Champ
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: NC
Posts: 5,027
Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!Vern Acular will do you doggie style!
this match is a tie...you both move on...sorry to say you will have a 3 way next week...
__________________
TH3 3LIT3
2005 NO ID TOURNEY WINNER
1x POET TREE CHAMP
12x RSTL CHAMP


Yes...I've Beat You Before
www.soundclick.com/eulogy
www.myspace.com/eulogy46

Vern Acular is offline  
Closed Thread

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:32 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.2.0
Copyright (c) 800Media.com
Copyright © 1998-2008 800Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
No portions of this site may be duplicated without permission from 800Media, Inc.
Advertising | Privacy Policy