EAST: 01- Tha Talent vs 09- Half n Half

[Vern Acular]

ROUND 2



:: TOPICS ::

http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...02#post8856002


:: BAR/LINE LIMITS ::

min = 24
max = 48

:: VOTING ::

voting is mandatory, you must vote and post links on ( 5 ) battles, you will be deducted if you dont, if you cant vote on time, aim me and tell me why and maybe i'll let you slide, but im an asshole so you better have a good reason

:: DUE DATES ::

verses = thursday @ midnight eastern time
votes = sunday @ noon eastern time

*NO EXTENTIONS THIS WEEK FOR ANY REASON*

good luck

[Tha Talent]

feel free to break the line limit.
its waaaay too short in my opinion.

[Khôi NguJin]

My surrounding is unique, a scene from the sleepless eye
Believe this as my dreams would wake to the screams of mine
I pain in disbelief to content of my explorations
Moses couldn’t split my thoughts, it’d be a laceration
-But I’m tired, yet I seek answers from the stars
I’d ask the moon, but its crescent is cancerous dark
And so my only stars would only dissipate quickly
Clouds came proudly and washed away the mischief’s-
Of my child form that I wish for back like Christmas
When I was loved by love, and a fitting Christian
-But now it’s like I can’t seem to find myself today
What once was is now lost like the precious of rains
On that stormy night, the depression was sulking slow
As I was in a chamber of confessions and told em’ no
It’s all seeping in and corrupting what is pure
I plead to them and then, it’s disrupting even more
Until the point of breakage and leakage from my head
The blood boils and soil seeps deeper until I’m dead
Along with my soul, the pressure was insanity
The vastness of this vanity was claiming this calamity
And so I live my life, unhealed..
In a world of mine, lost and concealed..
All because my parents wouldn’t raise me..
Killing my only hopes of having a baby..

Topic: Depression & you've been lost for the past few days, not because you dont where you are, but you dont know who you are, everything you ever held dear to you has been deleted from your life, can you find yourself again and move on, or will you just evaporate in the emptyness

[Vern Acular]

.......

[6th_plague]

Re-opened...

Sorry Vern this is kinda my fault, Talent had something up with his pc and I forgot to pass the message on...

[Vern Acular]

the match is opened but talent starts @ -3 votes...

khoi @ this time is winning 3-0...

[Tha Talent]

forget it, 1/2 and 1/2 wins.
close it mods.

[DaRk NeBuLa]

gotta go with Talent... more detailed, more poetical

it just read better and smoothly

K... nice shit, but it just seemed less focused and it didn't flow as well

vote talent

[ErykahCaine]

nice battle

Talent:
I really enjoyed this. Your rhyme scheme, though a lil' difficult to follow at first was nicely executed. The overall storyline was very easily relatable, reminded me of a few women in my life. IMO the emotion of both the character and that compassion and pride your writers voice gave across really made this a nice piece to read...Overall good job

"but she was bigger than that, and she got a loose jaw
wouldn't take it...it was time to stop their hating
and every time they tried to parade, she kept raining
and every time their path was clear, the fog came in
she never let them, she never let you, abuse her"
this really stood out to me for some reason..nicely written


Khoi:
This was also a cool drop. It had a very poetic feel to it which enhanced the sadness. The flow was cool, sometimes your bars were worded a lil' funny which threw me off a little but it wasn't too bad. IMO it just failed in comparison to Talents it sort of seemed as if you were expecting a no-show so you didn't put as much effort into it

so with that said...Vote=Talent

peep me and omens battle plz