WEST: 02- Infinite Truth vs 07- Idol Z

[Vern Acular]

ROUND 2



:: TOPICS ::

http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...02#post8856002


:: BAR/LINE LIMITS ::

min = 24
max = 48

:: VOTING ::

voting is mandatory, you must vote and post links on ( 5 ) battles, you will be deducted if you dont, if you cant vote on time, aim me and tell me why and maybe i'll let you slide, but im an asshole so you better have a good reason

:: DUE DATES ::

verses = thursday @ midnight eastern time
votes = sunday @ noon eastern time

*NO EXTENTIONS THIS WEEK FOR ANY REASON*

good luck

[Infinite Truth]

i got this

[idol_z]

prolly do.

EAST: 07- MC4Sight vs 15- Everkleer
WEST: 01- Vern Acular vs 09- Noib Da Mutt
WEST: 03- Tekneek vs 11- Lord Drama
EAST: 04- Sequel vs 05- Dmetrius
NORTH: 01- Omen vs 08- Erykah Caine

[Infinite Truth]

depression






dear diary
the past few years have been trouble
striking & sparking my mental
but apart from the pencil,
& the fears & the struggles,
this mark is essential
it’s carved a scar & left my heart unassembled
its supremacy reigns
nightmares continues to haunt me
as this unfortunate memory stains
i spill my heart to you hopin’
it might just spark an emotion
it might just blend in the page
i spill my angered confusion & pain through this fluid
venting in rage
my brain’s in contusions
disdained by illusions
& i’m.. well i’m bent in my ways
i remain in my ruins
strained by these bruises
dreading the burn of the intensity’s flames
cuz when lost my wife & kid four years ago i fractured my thinking
disturbed in my sorrow
i turned to the bottle
yea, i was captured by drinking
so my intentions are now to spill my every last feeling onto your paper
& once i’m finished w/ you
i’ve got blood to shed
spawned by my razor
i shut all my blinds & locked my door
i’m not to be bothered by neighors
haunted by anger
each memory leaves my thought process in danger
locked in this chambered house
as paint chips off the sides of the building
my emotions are vacant & broken by hatred
i despise what i’m feeling
paranoid
fearful in every move
i can’t take my eyes off the shutter
it was prominent after my confidence shattered that my mind was a clutter
i feel the spark
& through my voice on these pages in this poisonous hatred
i spill my heart
i’m hearing shit
dear god
where in the fuck are these noises located
my hopes & ambitions are provoking more wishes
god please
answer my questions
the incident has left me panicked & stressed in a state of manic depression
this is my last diary entry
cuz since it happened my life’s been in danger
so fuck it
here’s my goodbye
i’m sick and tired of the strife & the anger

i hold nothing dear to me..
signed & sincerely, me

~~~

i closed the diary
i locked it in the bottom left drawer of my desk
the incident changed my life
pained by strife
torn by the stress
the hallucinations & voices have got to stop
i need to come to my senses
sometimes i see my son
making me feel timid & somewhat defenseless.
but now it’s over
the time has come to join my family in heaven
hoping god might save me
but i know he still won’t answer my questions
& w/ no pride or ambitions
i reached for a knife from the kitchen
my reasoning?
well, the strife is a given
plus the life that i’m living
i sat down at the table
i thought about the past for a moment..
all the years that have been wasted
along w/ the lives captured & stolen.
i instilled the knife
i’ll finally rest in peace
no need to worry or suffer..
about my kid running away the day after he witnessed me murder his mother

[idol_z]

Depression


24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case
every 60 minutes i take a new beer to the face
when life hands you lemons, make lemonade and laugh
i took it, poured the corona, then it placed on my glass
so, to those still living i here now make a toast
"blessings be to you" then let the liquor go down my throat
to those that met a violent end, to my homies thats ghost
i pour out a little henny and let it drip down my throat
some ask if the glass is half full or is the glass half empty
me i dont bother, i just refill that glass of henny
seems like yesterday Aunt Mary on the phone with mama
saying she wanted me to come down to visit and escape the drama
knew she was sick, but i didnt know it was like that
if i knew time was short, i woulda packed my bags
but i didnt know, time was getting low
and since i didnt know, i didnt go
and the grief i felt after her death, i never got past it
so deep i couldnt even face her , during her open casket
you think after that mistake of not going, id finally learn
its like i played with fire and just now realizing im burned
cuz Uncle Mike the next year called me when i was dorming in college
while i was studying trying get the dome swarming wit knowledge
i was buggin, laughing like "ay yo man how you get these digits"
he said nephew stop playing, and when you planning to visit
i replied uhm, you living in atlanta and you know i hate planes
he replied quickly then i'll arrange for you to get on a train
knowing i really wouldnt, i agreed to come
he closed off by saying aight try to get D to come
but no train, no plane, no atl,that day never came
home on easter break, pops gives me a shake
told me mike was in the hospital but i wasnt phased
somewhere inside id just knew id be okay
but it wasnt. cuz he passed away too
aw fuck what did i just do or didnt do?
but i never cried, i didnt have time
cuz if my sleeve was dry, that means i didnt wipe everyones eye
my foundation was crumblin inside,
i cant believe he gone
but if you think youll remember, and if you remmeber you cry
and everyone in that churced needs a shoulder to lean on
so when night comes, on my pillow i express my sorrows
and empty up all my bottle up tears just to fill it back up tommorow


beat the clock again ha/

[6th_plague]

Thanks for showing, Lets up this for some votes!

[MC4SiGHT]

infinite truth-a lot of emotion, and even thou i don't really like your style of writing...its more like something meant for audio it seems to me i still got into this...the reading thru the diary...the way you wrote it could show the emotion the guy was feeling...and the twist about killin your sons mother was pretty good...i wasnt expectng it...but it didn't blow me away on the other hand either...

idol-right off i was feeling your verse more...lemon line was ill lol....how you never saw your grams die, then to find out you didn't see your uncle b4 he then died, and how u regret it and go to the bottle...it was all good.....but then the end just did nothing for me....it just kinda makes me wonder why a guy who purposely avoided going both times like it was nothing....suddenly feels such sorrow.....maybe you had some meaning behind it or maybe i read wrong but i just didn't get it....your story was good....but it lost me at the end

vote-infinite....in the end he had the better ending i felt, story made better sense to me....close match tho

[ErykahCaine]

nice battle

Idol:

This was nice from start to finish. Your overall concept and storyline was nicely written, your writers voice was real strong in this piece and really expressed your emotions well. Your piece flowed pretty smooth for the most part. It really touched home as far as not letting people know the pains getting to you, and only expressing it when your alone, and also how you had to be the stregnth in the family during the hard times. Nice job

Truth:

This was nice as well. You both took the same topic and flipped it to fit each of your writing styles. Your overall storyline was cool, you gave hints to the end result and cause in the middle section of your piece so I wasn't to excited or suprised by the twist it took. I like the rhyme scheme you used, and your flow was much more consistent than Idol. Nice job

What it came down to for me was preference, I felt Truth had a stronger verse as far as mechanics go. But Idolz story was alot more interesting, original and just more enjoyable to read.

so with that said my vote goes to Idol

peep me and omens battle plz

[Tha Talent]

Infinite Truth:
it might be subtle, but yet, this character was best described in the last line, not by what the line says, but how the line is worded...the man never feels remourse for the murder, but rather for loosing his son in the process...when i read that, i reread the verse, and found myself understanding the pain more...this was a man who had tried his hardest, and, through his insane delusions, must have felt that murdering his wife would help his son...you painted the man's pain very well, and the wording and rhyme scheme were ILL the whole way...obviously, there is nothing original in suicide, but as a character portrait, this was very well done...i think the best part of the verse was after he puts away the diary, and the detailed fashion in which you described the little intricacies of the left desk drawer...as a writer, i appreciate those little details...this was a VERY dope verse...you've been on your A-game the last two weeks.

Idol Z:
i almost felt like you were really trying on this one...lol...i enjoyed this verse...it was a little rough around the edges, but at the same time, i felt the emotion and i loved the plot...the whole concept of the kid that denies until he can't deny, and then denies some more...i'm an ex bartender, and i can tell you right now, there are a lot of people out there like that...some of the lines were dope...the lemon line hooked me from the beginning...my only negative remark is that it was perhaps a little underdeveloped and lacking in imagery...and perhaps some of the wording could have been a little smoother...still, it was nice.

vote=Infinite Truth
he was smoother, and, in a battle of character development, i felt like i knew his character more.
and i felt that he expressed his character better.

[Everkleer]

Idol:
I liked this, flow was on point the whole time...vocab and rhymes were nice as well, but like 4sight, I felt you kinda fell off at the end. I dunno I guess i was just expectin a little more after gettin into the piece a good ways. It was good, i just feel like you coulda put a little twist on it to improve it.

Infinite:
I dunno what it is about those short bars, but I love em. I dunno if it makes the flow better or helps me notice all the inner rhymes and whatnot, but its a good style. i was expectin a cliched ending, but when i saw that it was the wife he murdered and not himself i was like ohh damn. good piece.

VOTE=Infinite Truth

[FórmÅl LôGíc]

Two real nice verses. Same subject, two totally different styles.

I.T. - Great verse, a very unqiue style of writing for the tourny, only you and Trap use that style. Makes the flow so much smoother. As for you flow in this verse, it was real nice. Emotion was there, and you had a pretty good writers voice. The story though and overall concept seemed a bit bland. Not to the fact that it wasnt well written, it was just that you told this whole great story, but the end to me just didnt sufice to the rest of the verse.

Idol - A good verse as well, great writers voice, and a nice flow. But your seemed to rush your ending, had me going all deep into this dark emotion, and then it was the end. As for the concept and story, both were nice, not all that original, but it was cool how you incorporated drinking and alcoholism into the verse.

Overall - Both had a good story and concept, both had good mechanics for a verse, but in the end Idol brought more to the table in my eyes. A different kind of emotion, and story. Which appealed to me more.

Vote - Idol Z

[DMeTRIUS]

vote - infinite


ok ... so in the very beginning i couldnt follow ur flow for shit .... i had to read it four times just to catch up ... but it's a lot easier once u read it aloud .... but to each their own and nothing should be taken away for uniqness as long as it makes sense ... idol .. ur verse suffered from a lot of simplicity ... such as rhyming come with come ... or replied with replied ... u have to expand a bit ... and that's really what killed it for me

[LDogg The King]

i think it came down to prefernce on this one an infinite brought more out in his verse as far as i could tell.. i enjoyed idols story..the writers voice was real nice..i think with more time spent on this though that u could have polished this up a bit better.. truth held it down and was pretty consistant through out the whole read..

good match

vote - infinite truth

good luck to you both.

[Calhoun Tibbs]

Vote= Idol Z

It was hard ta choose between the two but I think Idol Z got this one.
The whole drinking to coincide depression segment I thought was very nice. And I was feeling him from start to finish on the way he expressed himself throughout the topic
IT brought the heat as well.. Was kinda hard to decide cause they both ripped the topic well. but I guess its just a matter of appeal to the content you liked more

[Vern Acular]

winner infinte truth