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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: VA
Posts: 4,407
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you've been in a foster home all your life, 12 years to be exact, it's your 13th birthday, and your gift from society is your actual parents, how do you feel when you see them, knowing when you get home you find out you would've been better off at the foster home
Grew up at first torn and suicidal, a feudal life form,
where all i could do at night was mourn, cryin when writin poems.
My brain in dark layers as the world was pullin my strings like a harp player,
Heart vacant from any beatin except my futures symphony that starts fadin.
Love lost across a thousand seas, the ocean breeze tauntin my pleas,
Inside an empty chapter of a book that no cypherer can read.
Lived in an orphanage my whole existence with no rememberence,
Wishin to meet my natural parents within each days followin seconds.
Hope was never there, despair was my only familiar stare,
Untill i discovered religion, and jesus soothed my every breath of air.
Prayin for happiness, devotin my ways as a pacifist,
hands clasped on blankets & mattresses waitin for the day that he'll answer this.
A christian in every way...yet my laughter's still fillin an empty grave,
No family givin me any praise, bear thoughts driftin thru many caves.
A vase never placed on the mantle nor felt the warmth of a candle,
love destroyin my matter due to a longin for joy my reality cant handle.
13 years old and still no home to call my own..clogged full of moans,
A clone of human stone..cold with a tone of self mutalation hormones.
Just became a teenager, Being told I have a big surprise today...
expecting it to be nothing more than the last 12 years of pain.
My journal is full of wet pages, as I walk to the window in stars,
Transformin the images in front of me to a white picket fence with 2 dogs.
Then it all disappears..much like the blood within my chest.......
veins put to rest, dreams i cant see due to eyes that're compressed.
Walkin down the stairway, im told to sit on a bench and wait..
And after 20 mins. or so pass, then i shall know my fate.
The bell then rings, and i get a feeling of nervousness,
And the anticipating grows as the doorknob goes into a forward twist.
Then in that instant, im introduced to my parents, in a state of shock,
I hug them, any animosity i once had...at that moment I forgot.
They filled out a few papers, and were ready to take me home,
Explainin i had a brother, their own restaurant and id never be alone.
A sudden rush, these were the people i loved...
Yet, for some reason the rose which i know posessed still stung.
as they were drivin we started recitin tunes i never knew,
All the while rotatin thoughts while my heads consumed.
Everything seemed it was gonna be fine, holdin on time,
And as every word they said came out, a smile started to grow thru my spine.
Things couldnt be better, they presented me with a sweater,
Even gave me a letter from the rest of my fam whom i was disevered.
It seemed i was in heaven, In my new clothes i was suited...
Then as they further began to chat, i realized they were •••ish.
I was being taken to my bar mitzfah, and that was my surprise,
Then after the celebration i would be cleansed and circumsized.
A lump in my throat grew while my heart sunk and then broke 2,
Fightin to belong to a group, I was done with this whole feud...
As we were goin over a bridge, i jumped and folded my limbs,
Finally...Death-lament-potential all became one, and i exploded within.
Growin up in an orphanage, i never learned how to swim...
So within those waters of neverendin pain I died on the 5th..
2 days later i was found, lost in past...as everyone else fought to grasp,
The relization, as the autopsy showed the cause of death was a heart attack.
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