WEST: 02- Infinite Truth vs 15- Sherlock

This is a discussion on WEST: 02- Infinite Truth vs 15- Sherlock within the RapMusic's Storytelling League forums, part of the Text Battle Leagues category; 2004 RSTL TOURNEY topics http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=739537 bar limit 24 bars min 48 bars max due dates verses due thursday 11:59 pm ...


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Old 05-09-2004, 11:51 PM   #1 (permalink)
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WEST: 02- Infinite Truth vs 15- Sherlock

2004 RSTL TOURNEY


topics

Submit Tourney Topics Here

bar limit

24 bars min
48 bars max

due dates

verses due thursday 11:59 pm eastern
votes due sunday 11:59 am eastern

voting standards

anyone can vote
only broken down votes will count
you must vote on atleast 5 battles
you dont have to post links
but dont expect votes if you dont give them

misc. rules

you may not recycle verses
use only the topics provided
please only post verses, check ins, and votes
no freeposting

Good Luck
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Old 05-10-2004, 12:42 PM   #2 (permalink)
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...Sherlock... takes it up the butt!
checks in

time to get to writing
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Old 05-13-2004, 02:46 PM   #3 (permalink)
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NoShit Sherlock takes it up the butt!
i'm droppin FRi Mornin, i really dont have access

my email thing is down, and thats where my verse is
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Old 05-13-2004, 11:48 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!
shit is gravy

ill try & drop later, forgot about this

really wanna stay in so hopefully youll gimme till tomorrow too if you dont see something posted tonite

whatever tho

pz
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Old 05-14-2004, 12:29 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!Infinite Truth will do you doggie style!
made it

you can still post late i dont careeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

i awoke in a panic
w/ limited space to move in or breathe in
"i don’t understand this,"
i thought,
feeling foolish & cheated
i felt broken & damaged
the lack of room had me wheezing
alone & abandoned
hopeless & stranded
pretty soon i was screaming
anticipating
shifting, shaking
sitting, waiting
hoping someone might signal me or send me a message
i tried to move
but was obstructed in each & every direction
frustration had me fisting & punching
kicking at something
unable to process thoughts
i couldn’t even jump quick to assumptions
stuck in the present
i couldn’t seem to remember my past
horror-struck by this head trip
it seemed my whole memory lapsed
bent & collapsed
my pale, naked body was cold
shriveled & frozen
wishing & hoping
if only i could escape
but even my ambitions were closed in
feeling stiff i was choking
anxious for freedom
i was crippled & hopeless
ripped up & broken
anguished & beaten
angered & cheated
someone tricked my emotions
strained & abused
dazed & confused
i was suffocating and coughing.
shit, i felt like i was being buried alive,
stuffed & laid in a coffin.
needing an exit
i drowned in the blackness
surrounded & trapped in
shit was seemingly hectic
i searched around for a passage.
& you’ll probably think that i’m crazy & out my mind
when i tell you that right then i felt a cold shiver run down my spine
cold & frozen
a jolt of motion was felt in a push & a pull
it was then that i knew that not only had i misunderstood all the bull
but i also recognized that in this new cumbersome home i wasn’t alone
cuz see i felt some fresh air
creep up my back, & then one by one, tingle my neck hairs
partly unconscious
i focused on the cauldron i was trapped & contained in
but in my madness & anguish
i pushed so hard i left something splattered, shattered & tainted
feeling i was about to collapse from the pain when
a light appeared but was dim
see, i was a fetus in a womb
the other person in there was my twin.
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Old 05-14-2004, 10:39 AM   #6 (permalink)
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...Sherlock... takes it up the butt!
9)youre a ghost living on earth, with no sense of touch,smell, or taste. describe an average day of yours as you endlessly wander.


Intro
It takes a minute to pray, but a second to die
i could never vision this day, witout the essence of life
my soul is filled up with rage, b'cuz they testing my pride
Lord, really Is this my faith, or a blessing from Christ

Newsreporter: Earlier today shots were fired, on the 1200 block of Apple & Eagle, in the background you can see paramedics, working on a youth who is only 17 years old, as he was walking home, We were told that............ {{{voices fading}}}............

a depressing mirror imagine of a man, who soul yet to be fulfil
condemned and trapped in two worlds, as destiny stands still
da uncanny thrills, of breathin life afta death slowly as time breaks
while schizophrenic ideas travel across thoughts, in a delusional mindstate
each moment, each grasp, each attempt that i apply
i cant taste nor feel da tears, dat are released beneath my eyes
even da saliva stream, in my esophagus seem to leave and be dry
patiently pouting around wandering,
why my nerves are sending messages, but my teeth wont reply
only if could drift away, instead of being stuck in one place
hoping tis is only da mental stage, theres is nothin i can touch or taste
Just witnessing myself lie there, got frustration on da tilt of rage
knowing a haunted future, from a delightful past, while at da equilibrium stage
Its hard to think- when a part of ya heart
is getting scarred, and ya hopes start to sink
some say its the dark part of gods art,
but i can only draw a blank......"He was so smart and brave"
knowing da thoughts of my mother, and da community i love
"he was just coming home, what did he do to them thugs
Who gave them that right, to use them guns
and have cold lead in head, as it pierce through his blood"
that a question and answer, the world will never know
wit da slightest gust of wind, my soul was gone with an effortless blow

Paramedic1: Dont fucking die on me kid, {{pumping his chest}} breathe, {{grasping}} breathe
Paramedic: Hey hey HEY...let it go, hes gone, we did what can do
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Old 05-14-2004, 01:20 PM   #7 (permalink)
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SMURP takes it up the butt!
vote=Infinite Truth
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Old 05-14-2004, 10:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Tha Talent takes it up the butt!
No Shit Sherlock:
sometimes quantity is necessary for quality...this was your case...you seem to be a decent writer...though your flow wasn't nearly on point as your bars were stretched, the word choice seemed to be reasonably strong...but you didn't have nearly enough to get the plot to be anything worthwhile...it revolved around a dumb twist...your emotion was strong, but that was really the only thing holding this verse up...think about what you are writing before you write

Infinite Truth:
i love you...seriously...i was waiting for a terrible ending of that ended with the topic "you attend your own funeral" but then that...wow...man, that was genius...the flow was dope, i felt it intensifying as i went further in...the emotions were so powerful and the wording and rhyme scheme so perfect for what you were doing...and then the ending seemed to reach a climax and then calm down...it was great...what more can i say?

vote=Infinite Truth
just better.
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Old 05-15-2004, 11:44 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Infinite...great verse..highly enjoyable read..the flow was excellent and the imagery and emotion really took over and keeps the reader reading and wanting more...you have a great writers voice..just a great write period..the ending was wonderful...just an ill verse..

Sherlock...this came out to be a decent verse...your a pretty good writer...but your lacking in some areas that would not propel you over the writing of IT...your flow was ok....nothing special...emotion was good..i would build from that..and your story telling needs a lil work...creativity and conepts held your verse back..

vote=IT
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Old 05-16-2004, 12:50 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Vember takes it up the butt!
IT= it may be jus me, cus im tired righ now or whatever, but your flow was really terrible, some of the lines were stretched as hell, and it made it hard to flow to a beat
Actual story was mediocre, but wha can u do to that topic? inside the verse was good, although towards the end where u describe what ur family or community or w/e was thinking, i didnt like how u constructed the lines and it kinda seemed unnessecary to me to put that in, i read everyone else's apply n i feel stupid sayin this, but i wasnt that impressed with the verse, it was kinda boring to me becuz of the stretched lines i guess

Sherlock-eh, nice twist to the end i guess, but i didnt pick up any of that reading the verse, which was really repetitive, and even after i read the end i still didnt see how that came out of what u said. Didnt like how u set up your bars either, took the flow off cus i didnt know where the first rhyme started and ended and all that, really confusing verse

v/Infinite, got this fairly easy, although like i said, i feel stupid sayin this, but it was kinda boring to me
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Old 05-16-2004, 02:22 PM   #11 (permalink)
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winner truth
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