EAST: 08- Cereal Killer vs 09- Half n Half

[Vern Acular]

2004 RSTL TOURNEY


topics

Submit Tourney Topics Here

bar limit

24 bars min
48 bars max

due dates

verses due thursday 11:59 pm eastern
votes due sunday 11:59 am eastern

voting standards

anyone can vote
only broken down votes will count
you must vote on atleast 5 battles
you dont have to post links
but dont expect votes if you dont give them

misc. rules

you may not recycle verses
use only the topics provided
please only post verses, check ins, and votes
no freeposting

Good Luck

[Cereal_Killer]

im in good luck

[Cereal_Killer]

1. You’re def. What goes through your mind that you can never say?

Past - Present

The squealing haunting my mind, taunting my right
To have hearing or sight, the feeling of life
In my ears and eyes, I am stuck in a bind
This hole in my soul where I’ve been force to hide
It’s far from sublime so deep inside I hurt
As words subside in spurts past auditory nerves
That had just died
From the worst punishment served
What have I done to deserve this perverse
Curse.
My screaming doesn’t work
But yet I still try
Till my time does comes and I finally die,
I’ll still apply resistance for being forced blind.
I’m sick of gliding on this tainted sore ride
Let me off.

Years go by nothing

Still nothing

Wait something

My lid’s been lifted I’m no longer boxed in
So my thoughts have now shifted into speaking
My souls set free
I’ll tell the world what I’ve seen
Before this mad man took my senses from me

NEWS BRIEF

Around five o’clock today a boy was found
In Jackson’s hidden basement deep underground
He was bound by a mask and tied to himself

I just wished someone had heard me call for help.

Before I saw hell.

2. You’re an undiscovered Child in Jacko's basement

3. 6th sense style life after death

BUSTED
http://a799.g.akamai.net/3/799/388/f...ws/2075255.jpg

[Khôi NguJin]

When I cry, I think about what made me turn away-
From the perfect life I coulda had, cradle to the grave
Enabling a way to find desire in the deepest chasms
Under where I'd label days, prior I was fetus challenged
Grasping on to every young minute, that I needed love
Cos when my breath was lost, I was infinitly bleeding cuts-
Of mistakes my mother made, with drinking and drugs
Thinking woes that fucked me up, & I was thinking love
Then my muse wouldn't speak, and so I eluded it
Until it eventually caught me, cos the fuse was lit
Not to mention the fuse on the cigarette lighter
The incest; my beauty, for the picket fence inside her-
Was molesting my soul, the son deeming his mother-
Who forgot to tell her lover, that 'he' needed a rubber
So now I'm passing by like space, beyond the Orion
Who'da thought that I'd die before I saw the horizon
So Now I'm kept in a womb, rotted, please hug me, and well..
All that's left is the question, why the ugliest hell?

The ugliest dwell, raped out of sorrow, give or take a few
My short lived life, was proud enough, in a different place I knew-
Of a room so abstruse, where many of my kind await-
To proceed as the evils of the blinded human race..
I'm the line that's traced; snorted, the pornos recorded
The injections, the bloodshed 'n mayhem, babies aborted
The foolish, those craving to protect our insecurity
The blue-esque shaded scenery, embedding this fear in me
The Chains on slaves, the waves of taunts towards Jesus
The red, the white and the who wants more freedom
The Kingdom, religion, Middle East, hate and bombings
The rape, the states, inside me raged a mental promise
Then the cigarette and pill had an astounding effect
As smoke then formed a halo, as it wrapped around my neck
I accept what you did girl, but imma ride alone now
I died in your world, but I survive in my own now
Just barley............................. .......................
So now when I cry, what I think about, is how I'm grateful-
For the perfect life was flawed, well just in the cradle.


Topic: you survived the end of the world...

what do you do next?

[Vern Acular]

cerial killer, pretty good, short and sweet, good flow, and writers voice was there, the ending was sort of clever but i saw it coming and the jackson thing to me is ehh...that's all it is to me, other than that nice little verse

khoi...

liked it a lot, the flow was bonkers, word usage was great, very descriptive, and i just loved how it pieced together, this was very poetic and your vivid writer's voice brought the topic to life, props to ya

overall...

because cerial posted so early i feel it put him at a dis-advantage cause it gave khoi time to come up with something remotely challeging to yours and basically when it comes down to it, i gotta go with khoi, he just had the better verse, props to both though...

w/ khoi

[AuThoR NYSE]

Cereal Killer
Your verse was cool. I didn't really care the whole Jackson thing. To me thats just something thats not all that appealing and puts a damper of sorts on the verse. Your verse itself was short....but written good. I don't think you took that first topic and did to well with it...Since to begin with...it says your Def... but then tell the world something you could never speak...Def means you can't hear...someone got that all confused...Even though your verse flowed well and was decent...I just couldn't really get into it...

Half N Half
Your verse was good..I enjoyed reading it..to be honest though I didn't really care to much for the part in bold. I don't think that really protrayed to the verse to much and took some affect away from it. Kind of went from being about the child to a political piece of sorts (unless i just misunderstood that part). Flow was good and I did enjoy the verse.. I think it was written well and that your writers voice was good in this.

Vote
Half N Half


I just couldn't really get into CK verse. No offense but it was hard for me to. HNH just displayed a stronger verse in this match-up.

[MC4SiGHT]

Cereal--personally this was nothing impressing to me man...i've seen you do much better b4....it was short, sweet....but just not good enough for me....it just seems like you didn't put a lot of thought into this piece....the flow and the idea was good but it wasn't enough for me to put you past half....

Half-you had a nice story going...was interesting...and more thought out the CK i felt...the imagery and use of emotion brought the story out better....not really my choice of topic...but you wrote to it pretty decent...

vote-Half.....CK just didn't impress me much with his verse

[NoShit Sherlock]

Ill Match Up

CK- short, n sweet, flow was easy to follow along wit
the story was alright nothing too fancy or too bland
the twist at the end was coo, but

compared

to

Khoi- woah, ill piece my man, very descriptive, the vocab scale is mid range
good plot, very poetic

Vote = Khoi

Sherlock

[Tha Talent]

Cereal Killer:
people are realllly underating this verse...your wording and flow were very nice, and i would say i enjoyed reading this more than most of your verses...you also put a decent twist on the MJ scandal, at least it wasn't hatable like most Jacko verses...there is the problem on the whole "deaf"/"dead" mixup, but who cares about the fucking topics...the main problem was that it was very underdeveloped

.5man:
i gotta say, this isn't your best, but it still made for a decent read...you need to do more with the rhyme scheme though...however, the storyline was alright, and the word choice was nice...it was much more detailed and had more thought in it, and was probably maybe even a little better worded than Cereal's, so it was good enough for the win.

vote=.5man, .5amazn

[Everkleer]

I agree here, everything I feel has pretty much been said. CK coulda come alot better for the tourney, especially since Khoi is a strong competitor. The Jackson thing was kinda expected, I saw it coming. Khoi just came with a better flow and vocab, the writer's voice was stronger, and his concept was pulled off in a much better and more original way than CK's.

VOTE=Khoi Ngujin

[Vern Acular]

winner half