47 Exposure vs 48 IV

Insanevillian · 02-14-2004, 07:13 PM

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I V · 02-14-2004, 07:45 PM

Im here...

Exposure.. · 02-16-2004, 08:05 PM

hello.

Insanevillian · 02-19-2004, 09:12 PM

BOOM!!!

Seeking Forgiveness

Part 1

Fuck...

My penis mingled inside, wearin a hat as his single disguise...
My love twinkled her eyes as my member sprinkled her thighs...
As he wrinkled in size, her face shone with that morning emotion...
That crazy look of pleasure n she did good ignorin the lotion...
Drippin from her clit, swollen after i jus finished rippin that shit...
N her hands red after grippin the slick pole, i was pimpin this bitch...
As i was zippin my limp dick back up, thinkin how my girl did...
Thas when she came out with the words... im pregnant with ur kid...
I flipped my lid, I mean i love her, but this couldnt be happenin'...
I couldnt see how my semen penetrated thru the shit i wrapped it in...
I grabbed a gin n tonic with some chronic to ease my anticipation...
N felt a mix of elation stirred up with a little of my frustration...
I shoulda stuck to masterbation, now im stuck here feelin dumb...
But she is the one, to find her it seems it took milleniums...
This kid will be revealin' a part of my past, what would father think?...
Im broke, no job n i definately cant afford another shrink...
As I take another drink, i wonder could he forgive me at last?...
My thoughts black out, as my conscience is driftin' to the past...

Part 2

The Past...

I was a stubborn child, born wild, leavin chicks n joy n flushed...
So handsome when girls stampeded it was hard to avoid the rush...
Enjoying crushin the comp, but my father wasnt pleased...
He told me to loosen up, or ill lose it all with greed...
"U need to lay off of these girls, the pay off is to get married...
Dont get carried away with material things, please stay wary"...
But i was itchin to bury it quick, im not gonna be his virgin...
He's encouragin me not to stick it all these hoes i could splurge in?...
Fo' certain i wasnt gonna listen, im gonna feel the pleasure head brings...
to my body, n that night i fucked a broad n earned my red wings...

Part 3

Father Knows Best...

The night after i took her college, in bed i gained more knowledge...
Thas when my father demolished the door n' said, "Son ur abolished!...
From my domain, its insane u refrain from what im tellin to u"...
I said, "Fuck off, its not my fault these hoes know im better than u...
I bet we're through, i can do it all on my own, all alone, im grown!"...
My fathers Last words were thrown... "Your cursed, never come back!...
N I bet you'll be with all the street bums, smothered in crack!...
Brotha u lack the drive to be succesful, in i refuse to let u within...
my house, or live in a place close to me, No u wont be forgiven...

Part 4

Back to the Future...

He was right, despite all my pride i could never get shit together...
whether or not i liked it, he has never called or wrote a letter...
N I Never thought i would be put in a position, to raise a kid like me...
Maybe it will be a her, with more looks than mighty aphrodite...
How tight these chains hold on, i know what must be done...
I smiled at my girl n said, "Babe u look very lovely hun...
.
.
We will have to name him damien, ill love him when hes bigger"...
Her eyes grew bigger with fascination, then i decided to pull the trigger...
.
.
Im Lucifer n i miss my dad, im tired with runnin with these demons...
I seek forgiveness, by killin the antichrist my son, preventin the return of jesus...

Forgive me Father...

For I Have Sinned...

Exposure.. · 02-19-2004, 09:44 PM

Brink Of Insanity

In the darkest of times, I remained nestled in white
Trapped in these padded walls of mine, that protect my life
Aside from being shut out from humanity, I prevail
Though my mind storms heavily; thoughts rain & hail
Hell... My life's light is hidden behind my pain's clouds
Lightning bright agony, My heartache's sounds are thundered out
I'm bound to drop down... My destiny's fate is like the rests
For me to hit the concrete and my soul to evaporate & condense
I must confess, I'm not you're average man... Clearly it shows
My family falls scattered around & my asylum moves around the globe
I hope, that aside from being nature's menace, I'm not seen as a psycho
Cause I claim to conquer death & then being able to re-enter life's cycle
I'm staring down the barrel of a rifle, But I won't die, I'll just spill
It's not reincarnation... It's an unwritten law, plus it's mother nature's will
There are millions of us, who know how it feels... but we can't speak
Our spirits are felt when the heavenly skies seemingly let off a leak
Lifeless & bleak, hating what has become of me... I still recall clearly...
...When my life was average & I was amongst every other fish in the sea
But now apparently, I'll remain trapped on the inside of these odd walls
In order for me escape, positives and negatives have got to mix up & cross
I despise having this as a fault... rotting in a cell that keeps me confined
Until my time is up and then It's time for me to die only to come back to life
& when my death occurs you'll see I'm just another rain drop falling from the sky

Insanity · 02-20-2004, 01:08 AM

IV- lovely story as always... felt the ending kinda lacked though. Great detail, decent emotion, series of events was perfect as always. Overall a typical IV story. Well plotted and told.

Exposure- not sure who you are... but I doubt you're a beginner. Verse was very abstract, but done in a cool way. Twist was nice... very original. The story progressed nicely, short and sweet and to the point. Verse-wise it was kinda simplistic. Lovely vocab, but lacked the rhyme scheme to pull it off to perfection. Also felt the verse was kinda inconsistant... some lines had me like "damn, kid is niiiice" and others had me a little disappointed.

vote- IV... just felt that he told his story more consistant and more thoroughly

Madpoet · 02-20-2004, 01:08 AM

Exposure: Sounds like poetry. It's a solidm read because of its writing and it had depth. Depth and emotion on my two big favorites.

IV: Wow. I dont know how well the end fit on this verse but the lay out, the story, and the end (on another piece would have put a nail in the coffin against anyone) was superb. This is one you read outloud for full effect.

Good battle gentlemen,

Vote:IV

Art Writaz · 02-20-2004, 01:19 AM

iv: great story.. very nice imagery, great word choice and multiples and vocab too.. good complexity in the content.. the twist was nice, i wasnt expectin it and it came together nicely..

exposure: u had a great story.. u told me the shit on aim, and i was lovin the idea.. u had a great way of tellin the story without givin the endin away, and the imagery fit well..

overall, i think iv had the upperhand with better content and complexity.. both had very nice verses, keep it up, piece 1

vote = iv

Insanevillian · 02-20-2004, 02:34 AM

uppin my shit...

LDogg The King · 02-20-2004, 03:06 AM

Over No Shows

Lokternal · 02-20-2004, 03:25 AM

Exposure- Good verse, your story was real nice, and had a great feel to it. The flow was there, had good structure, and solid vocab. You definitly dont seem like a beginner, and seem to have a firm grasp on writing.

IV- Very nice story, and the twist at the end was nice. I wasnt expecting it. In fact reading it I was like man this isnt too original, but the ending really changed my mind as far as that went. Your structure was real nice, solid flow.

Vote= IV

Cereal_Killer · 02-20-2004, 05:42 AM

iv:

i thought the start was well writen but a bit slow, then the ending made me have to read it twice. I liked it, the flow was better during the start where as the end it faded a bit. All up nice verse.

8.5/10

EX;

For awhile i was thinking you where vern and maybe you are because you've got a very close scheme going on. Every thing was spot on except mid way slowed it down a tad and doesnt make that much sense till you read the end. So you have to read it twice. The ending was very clever and after the second time you realize how good it was.

8.3/10

nice verses

02-20-2004, 06:36 AM

IV takes this. Its no secrect.

IV : Through out this peice I felt like I had read this before until your ending. Very different and likeable. Nice vocab writing skills. You wernt really doing much here but as ive said your ending was very delectable. I think you left this too close on that aspect. I felt that you shouldn’t have really come as close to a loss as you could have but ehh. Overall nice piece just needs more effort.

Ex : Doubting your new. Ill writing here, very good read. I say ill writing but IV I felt had the upper hand on that aspect but yours was a whole lot better to read. That ending was ill. The thing that let it down was the ending was all you had. You sorta chucked ideas up in the air and didn’t address them till the end…

Nice battle, you both pretty much going top 20 in a few weeks. But IV had the upper hand in this.

Stiffaz · 02-20-2004, 07:46 AM

of course IV takes this...he's creative emcee..i always felt his stories...and this isn't exeption..btw Exposure's wasn't too bad..i think this battle is between new face and vet..Ex u need practice more but imho u'll be dope emcee..

so i gotta go with others:

vote - IV

Defcon_5 · 02-20-2004, 10:37 AM

well IV u did what u said...ya story was bonkers

..i loved the end to...

Ex ya verse was nice but it was kinda predictable...you coulda had a story about someone pushing you to the brink of insanity..but none the less it was a nice verse

vote=IV

PHD Jr. · 02-20-2004, 01:14 PM

IV was really nice why don't u have a record..lol anyway his story was dope not as good as mine but..lol nah seriously it was on point the scheme was good all that shit

EX I don't think is an alias but he is pretty good this was a really close match up I think if he would have done more he would have taken this ( I mean more lines) but I'm gonna have to go with IV on this one

good battle though

vote = IV

MC Quotable · 02-20-2004, 03:38 PM

IV - There wasn't too many ways to spit on that topic without bein' predictable. You managed to put a nice twist on it. Tight lyrics and easily read. I might have to bite the way you type ( you use .... and I use the shitty /// things and it got my shit dissed on, so I been lookin' at other styles and yours is the best.LOL!!).

Exposure - Honest to God that shit read out nice in my mind. I came up with a beat in my head and and your words hit perfect. Unfortunately you went against someone who brought it harder. The last lines were nice Ex. Nice finish.

Vote - IV (Your verses were nicer. Kept me guessin for the ending, and it was worth it. Oh and next time could you go in a lil more detail on the first verse dog? LOL ! Just playin'. )

Tha Talent · 02-20-2004, 03:46 PM

InsaneVillain:
whoa, a dope twist...i really liked the way you rocked it...you always hold tons of foreshadowing in your verses...yeah, the emotion was a little phony because of the way you laid down the dialogue, but its alright...the twist was dope as hell and it was pretty well written other than the dialogue.

Exposure:
ehhh...its not like the ending was any suprise...it was fairly well written, but it was kinda plain...you took the topic far too literally...the key is to innovate and bring your own spin to every topic...because if you don't, then you are just another writer...like this...a typical piece, nothing that makes it special.

vote=InsaneVillain

Exposure.. · 02-20-2004, 06:30 PM

iight i'll take all of this advice and bring it next week...
Insane, good shit mayne.. dope ass verse.

Anaphora · 02-21-2004, 06:38 AM

Damn IV... hotness. I loved the narrative you had goin here, dope flow, good shit all over as has been said already.

Exposure: Just bad luck going up against IV right away. I really like that length of verse though, not long, but not short... flow was fairly consistent, story was... well, it was ok... decent. Not great though... working out an interesting plotline would be a good place to start a verse for here in the future, you're definitely gonna get some wins in the next couple weeks if you write like this or better though... like I said, just a tough break goin against IV.

Vote: IV

02-14-2004, 07:13 PM	#1 (permalink)
Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Oakland, Ca Posts: 16,322	47 Exposure vs 48 IV VERSES DUE Thursday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST VOTES DUE Sunday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST COLLECT YOUR TOPIC OF CHOICE HERE: RSTL Topics!!! LINE LIMIT: 4 lines - NO SHOWS 16 lines - MINIMAL 60 lines - MAXIMAL VOTING: No payback votes No 2nd Chance Votes YOU MUST MUST MUST -- POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD.. VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!! FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 6 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!! if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!! GO FOR IT!!! __________________ ELITE

02-14-2004, 07:45 PM	#2 (permalink)
I V All up in your Veins Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 395	Im here... __________________ D 2 DA M We slap Nig's and Punch Hoes ~Can you say, unstoppable???~Tru

02-19-2004, 09:12 PM	#4 (permalink)
Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Oakland, Ca Posts: 16,322	BOOM!!! Seeking Forgiveness Part 1 Fuck... My penis mingled inside, wearin a hat as his single disguise... My love twinkled her eyes as my member sprinkled her thighs... As he wrinkled in size, her face shone with that morning emotion... That crazy look of pleasure n she did good ignorin the lotion... Drippin from her clit, swollen after i jus finished rippin that shit... N her hands red after grippin the slick pole, i was pimpin this bitch... As i was zippin my limp dick back up, thinkin how my girl did... Thas when she came out with the words... im pregnant with ur kid... I flipped my lid, I mean i love her, but this couldnt be happenin'... I couldnt see how my semen penetrated thru the shit i wrapped it in... I grabbed a gin n tonic with some chronic to ease my anticipation... N felt a mix of elation stirred up with a little of my frustration... I shoulda stuck to masterbation, now im stuck here feelin dumb... But she is the one, to find her it seems it took milleniums... This kid will be revealin' a part of my past, what would father think?... Im broke, no job n i definately cant afford another shrink... As I take another drink, i wonder could he forgive me at last?... My thoughts black out, as my conscience is driftin' to the past... Part 2 The Past... I was a stubborn child, born wild, leavin chicks n joy n flushed... So handsome when girls stampeded it was hard to avoid the rush... Enjoying crushin the comp, but my father wasnt pleased... He told me to loosen up, or ill lose it all with greed... "U need to lay off of these girls, the pay off is to get married... Dont get carried away with material things, please stay wary"... But i was itchin to bury it quick, im not gonna be his virgin... He's encouragin me not to stick it all these hoes i could splurge in?... Fo' certain i wasnt gonna listen, im gonna feel the pleasure head brings... to my body, n that night i fucked a broad n earned my red wings... Part 3 Father Knows Best... The night after i took her college, in bed i gained more knowledge... Thas when my father demolished the door n' said, "Son ur abolished!... From my domain, its insane u refrain from what im tellin to u"... I said, "Fuck off, its not my fault these hoes know im better than u... I bet we're through, i can do it all on my own, all alone, im grown!"... My fathers Last words were thrown... "Your cursed, never come back!... N I bet you'll be with all the street bums, smothered in crack!... Brotha u lack the drive to be succesful, in i refuse to let u within... my house, or live in a place close to me, No u wont be forgiven... Part 4 Back to the Future... He was right, despite all my pride i could never get shit together... whether or not i liked it, he has never called or wrote a letter... N I Never thought i would be put in a position, to raise a kid like me... Maybe it will be a her, with more looks than mighty aphrodite... How tight these chains hold on, i know what must be done... I smiled at my girl n said, "Babe u look very lovely hun... . . We will have to name him damien, ill love him when hes bigger"... Her eyes grew bigger with fascination, then i decided to pull the trigger... . . Im Lucifer n i miss my dad, im tired with runnin with these demons... I seek forgiveness, by killin the antichrist my son, preventin the return of jesus... Forgive me Father... For I Have Sinned... __________________ ELITE Last edited by Insanevillian; 02-19-2004 at 09:30 PM.

02-20-2004, 01:08 AM	#6 (permalink)
Insanity Retro Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Who's the great of the Hoosier State? Posts: 5,977	IV- lovely story as always... felt the ending kinda lacked though. Great detail, decent emotion, series of events was perfect as always. Overall a typical IV story. Well plotted and told. Exposure- not sure who you are... but I doubt you're a beginner. Verse was very abstract, but done in a cool way. Twist was nice... very original. The story progressed nicely, short and sweet and to the point. Verse-wise it was kinda simplistic. Lovely vocab, but lacked the rhyme scheme to pull it off to perfection. Also felt the verse was kinda inconsistant... some lines had me like "damn, kid is niiiice" and others had me a little disappointed. vote- IV... just felt that he told his story more consistant and more thoroughly __________________ !ND !NC HOOSIER DADDY

02-20-2004, 01:08 AM	#7 (permalink)
Madpoet 2 weeks..and countin Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: myspace.com/madpoet5150 Posts: 13,403	Exposure: Sounds like poetry. It's a solidm read because of its writing and it had depth. Depth and emotion on my two big favorites. IV: Wow. I dont know how well the end fit on this verse but the lay out, the story, and the end (on another piece would have put a nail in the coffin against anyone) was superb. This is one you read outloud for full effect. Good battle gentlemen, Vote:IV __________________ Ron Paul would have been our saviour "It is true that if you are poor and can't afford a good lawyer,your odds of going to prison skyrocket, but you know what? Tough!"- Bill O'Reilly *Well FUCK Bill O'Reilly* 2 weeks starts- 4.26.08...prepare for armaggedon Last edited by madpoet; 02-20-2004 at 12:55 PM.

02-16-2004, 08:05 PM	#3 (permalink)
Exposure.. Wise Omens. Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Cali. Posts: 82	hello.

02-19-2004, 09:44 PM	#5 (permalink)
Exposure.. Wise Omens. Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Cali. Posts: 82	Brink Of Insanity In the darkest of times, I remained nestled in white Trapped in these padded walls of mine, that protect my life Aside from being shut out from humanity, I prevail Though my mind storms heavily; thoughts rain & hail Hell... My life's light is hidden behind my pain's clouds Lightning bright agony, My heartache's sounds are thundered out I'm bound to drop down... My destiny's fate is like the rests For me to hit the concrete and my soul to evaporate & condense I must confess, I'm not you're average man... Clearly it shows My family falls scattered around & my asylum moves around the globe I hope, that aside from being nature's menace, I'm not seen as a psycho Cause I claim to conquer death & then being able to re-enter life's cycle I'm staring down the barrel of a rifle, But I won't die, I'll just spill It's not reincarnation... It's an unwritten law, plus it's mother nature's will There are millions of us, who know how it feels... but we can't speak Our spirits are felt when the heavenly skies seemingly let off a leak Lifeless & bleak, hating what has become of me... I still recall clearly... ...When my life was average & I was amongst every other fish in the sea But now apparently, I'll remain trapped on the inside of these odd walls In order for me escape, positives and negatives have got to mix up & cross I despise having this as a fault... rotting in a cell that keeps me confined Until my time is up and then It's time for me to die only to come back to life & when my death occurs you'll see I'm just another rain drop falling from the sky

02-20-2004, 01:19 AM	#8 (permalink)
Art Writaz The Brokken Knukkle Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: The Steel City, PA ... Our Hometown, Your Burial Grounds Posts: 7,148	iv: great story.. very nice imagery, great word choice and multiples and vocab too.. good complexity in the content.. the twist was nice, i wasnt expectin it and it came together nicely.. exposure: u had a great story.. u told me the shit on aim, and i was lovin the idea.. u had a great way of tellin the story without givin the endin away, and the imagery fit well.. overall, i think iv had the upperhand with better content and complexity.. both had very nice verses, keep it up, piece 1 vote = iv __________________ ART WRITAZ -- KURSEWERD ^This guy is wacker than your average bear

02-20-2004, 02:34 AM	#9 (permalink)
Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Oakland, Ca Posts: 16,322	uppin my shit... __________________ ELITE

02-20-2004, 03:06 AM	#10 (permalink)
LDogg The King S E A T T L E Join Date: Jan 2000 Location: Seattle Posts: 16,637	Over No Shows __________________ ELITE motherfuckers www.soundclick.com/downedshadow www.myspace.com/downedshadow I wish the game was reversed and my verse was the beat so you'd listen to me first, and then dance later... I aint dumbing down shit, you don't get it, get a fuckin translator - Bishop Lamont

02-20-2004, 03:25 AM	#11 (permalink)
Lokternal Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: On a Boat in the middle of Alaska frozen to the ice looking at polar bears who are really horny and want to fuck penguins and eskimos and also ice sculptures Posts: 577	Exposure- Good verse, your story was real nice, and had a great feel to it. The flow was there, had good structure, and solid vocab. You definitly dont seem like a beginner, and seem to have a firm grasp on writing. IV- Very nice story, and the twist at the end was nice. I wasnt expecting it. In fact reading it I was like man this isnt too original, but the ending really changed my mind as far as that went. Your structure was real nice, solid flow. Vote= IV

02-20-2004, 05:42 AM	#12 (permalink)
Cereal_Killer California Cornflakes Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In a tub of gutter glitter Posts: 3,180	iv: i thought the start was well writen but a bit slow, then the ending made me have to read it twice. I liked it, the flow was better during the start where as the end it faded a bit. All up nice verse. 8.5/10 EX; For awhile i was thinking you where vern and maybe you are because you've got a very close scheme going on. Every thing was spot on except mid way slowed it down a tad and doesnt make that much sense till you read the end. So you have to read it twice. The ending was very clever and after the second time you realize how good it was. 8.3/10 nice verses __________________ :·.·: cocaine, genius, insomnia :·.·: .·.cereal killer . got life . inf truth.·. .. You're not likely to see a green CK Unless you've got a ticket with MDA ..

02-20-2004, 06:36 AM	#13 (permalink)
Malosovich Guest Posts: n/a	IV takes this. Its no secrect. IV : Through out this peice I felt like I had read this before until your ending. Very different and likeable. Nice vocab writing skills. You wernt really doing much here but as ive said your ending was very delectable. I think you left this too close on that aspect. I felt that you shouldn’t have really come as close to a loss as you could have but ehh. Overall nice piece just needs more effort. Ex : Doubting your new. Ill writing here, very good read. I say ill writing but IV I felt had the upper hand on that aspect but yours was a whole lot better to read. That ending was ill. The thing that let it down was the ending was all you had. You sorta chucked ideas up in the air and didn’t address them till the end… Nice battle, you both pretty much going top 20 in a few weeks. But IV had the upper hand in this.

02-20-2004, 07:46 AM	#14 (permalink)
Stiffaz I'm White Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Northern Europe Cave Called Lithuania Posts: 750	of course IV takes this...he's creative emcee..i always felt his stories...and this isn't exeption..btw Exposure's wasn't too bad..i think this battle is between new face and vet..Ex u need practice more but imho u'll be dope emcee.. so i gotta go with others: vote - IV __________________ R hyme A nd P hilosophy

02-20-2004, 10:37 AM	#15 (permalink)
Defcon_5 U can't see me..biatch!!! Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Greensboro, NC Posts: 9,516	well IV u did what u said...ya story was bonkers ..i loved the end to... Ex ya verse was nice but it was kinda predictable...you coulda had a story about someone pushing you to the brink of insanity..but none the less it was a nice verse vote=IV __________________ -Syndacates- -One man wreckin crew- Defeezy the great

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02-20-2004, 01:14 PM	#16 (permalink)
PHD Jr. It was all a dream Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Home of the Brave Posts: 1,384	IV was really nice why don't u have a record..lol anyway his story was dope not as good as mine but..lol nah seriously it was on point the scheme was good all that shit EX I don't think is an alias but he is pretty good this was a really close match up I think if he would have done more he would have taken this ( I mean more lines) but I'm gonna have to go with IV on this one good battle though vote = IV __________________ I'm not a thug but I play one on the internet

02-20-2004, 03:38 PM	#17 (permalink)
MC Quotable Registered User Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 38	IV - There wasn't too many ways to spit on that topic without bein' predictable. You managed to put a nice twist on it. Tight lyrics and easily read. I might have to bite the way you type ( you use .... and I use the shitty /// things and it got my shit dissed on, so I been lookin' at other styles and yours is the best.LOL!!). Exposure - Honest to God that shit read out nice in my mind. I came up with a beat in my head and and your words hit perfect. Unfortunately you went against someone who brought it harder. The last lines were nice Ex. Nice finish. Vote - IV (Your verses were nicer. Kept me guessin for the ending, and it was worth it. Oh and next time could you go in a lil more detail on the first verse dog? LOL ! Just playin'. )

02-20-2004, 03:46 PM	#18 (permalink)
Tha Talent , Tha Master. Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: in the hall of fame. Posts: 3,588	InsaneVillain: whoa, a dope twist...i really liked the way you rocked it...you always hold tons of foreshadowing in your verses...yeah, the emotion was a little phony because of the way you laid down the dialogue, but its alright...the twist was dope as hell and it was pretty well written other than the dialogue. Exposure: ehhh...its not like the ending was any suprise...it was fairly well written, but it was kinda plain...you took the topic far too literally...the key is to innovate and bring your own spin to every topic...because if you don't, then you are just another writer...like this...a typical piece, nothing that makes it special. vote=InsaneVillain __________________ elitely smo

02-20-2004, 06:30 PM	#19 (permalink)
Exposure.. Wise Omens. Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Cali. Posts: 82	iight i'll take all of this advice and bring it next week... Insane, good shit mayne.. dope ass verse.

02-21-2004, 06:38 AM	#20 (permalink)
Anaphora was here Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,694	Damn IV... hotness. I loved the narrative you had goin here, dope flow, good shit all over as has been said already. Exposure: Just bad luck going up against IV right away. I really like that length of verse though, not long, but not short... flow was fairly consistent, story was... well, it was ok... decent. Not great though... working out an interesting plotline would be a good place to start a verse for here in the future, you're definitely gonna get some wins in the next couple weeks if you write like this or better though... like I said, just a tough break goin against IV. Vote: IV