43- Knight vs 44- Macabre

[6th_plague]

Topical Week

VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST/GMT 6:00am London
VOTES DUE Saturday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST/GMT 6:00am London


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[Knight.]

Twsited isn't it? Can you really even come close to invison it
A girl screamin for help, but no ones there to witness it
Brown eyed angel held passions close to her in a city of rocks
Empty emotions rained inside the secrets of pandora's box
Loud outside tension rose to the gun clicks on urban blocks
Watch her brother fall another victim of the bullets shots
Inside the box her imagination would become in fasination
She would debate against presidents, and visit mars space station
A mission unstable a life time to screw up and blow up
And hide away the pain at night and pray you'll live to grow up
She wrote her secrets and plans down carefuly each day
Prayed constantly and her bones ached when it rained
Silenced by noises she knew she could never leave
..The secrets in the box kept her from the ever greens
A protector to her, its everything for a ghetto life to be said
The box is simple..a gun case thats under her bed

Sorry about the delay, I have a research paper this week and keyed verse, because no shows suck....


-The Patriot Act was passed to strip freedoms from us
and give reason to take reasons from us, no questions asked
September was to be a lesson passed, don't think the lesson's passed
because our own President Bush is a terrorist next to that
Accept the fact, Hitler eliminated German freedom to take control
Take a breathe of that, because it isn't Bush's plan's are fresh, in fact
He's taken shots at the media, sounds like the new Adolf intact
and we're so against Middle Eastern blood it's like the Nazi's back
No weapons of mass destruction, except our own soldiers
being a patriot myself, I can't accept our prone soldiers
Owned by Bush followin his orders blinded, sad though
captured Hussein, now we're out to kill Castro and the soldiers behind'm
to crush communism like Hitler against Russia
Don't be fooled, more will die so Bush can get somethin
I will forget nothin, that's why I'm stating these facts in
this suicided note, against mistakes waiting to happen
This Patriot act is merely the beginning to this rapture
So I give myself a real Patriot's Act end

*suicide*-

^Government issues and suicide

[6th_plague]

over ns

[Wise-Punchlines]

alright nice short battle here..both we're about even

Macabre..you had a nice story but i didnt really like the ending of suicide thought you coulda been more creative then that..your flow was cool easy to read..alright vocab good mechanics and good for what yours was..

Knight..i liked your story better more creative liked the ending a lil more..your styles are alot alike..the flow was you write and what not so i gotta give it to who i thought had a better story and drew me in more so knight you take this close one..
props to both and please go vote on me vs. infinite truth in the top 40 forum fairly we need votes peace

[Chase Murda]

this one goes to macabre.. lil youngin you got this one off son i like the story lines even though YOU KHOW WHATS UP....i give props when props are do... stay up

[Knight.]

1-1

lol@ i give props when props are due

Originally Posted by Knight.

1-1

lol@ i give props when props are due

It's because he's open mic dissed me twice for no reason lol. Nice verse BTW. Wise, I'll hit up that battle tomorrow.

Is there a limit to the number of ups per thread?

[ErykahCaine]

short and sweet

Macabre:

flow was damn near flawless...I loved the way you approached the topics and how you made consistent comparisons between Bush and Hitler but what really amde it great is how you backed it up with some real facts...nicely done

"The Patriot Act was passed to strip freedoms from us
and give reason to take reasons from us, no questions asked
September was to be a lesson passed, don't think the lesson's passed
because our own President Bush is a terrorist next to that"
this flowed beautifully and made a real strong point

"and we're so against Middle Eastern blood it's like the Nazi's back
No weapons of mass destruction, except our own soldiers"
great!!

KNIGHT:

your flow was also on point...love the way you approached the topic storyline and twist was sick and overall your piece was very well written. You also had some pretty cool imagery

overall though Knight came with a pretty nice story i feel Macabre took it with some real shit that made me think

so with that said VOTE=macabre

[Stiffaz]

two short verses...

Knight:

good verse..rather a lil dinky
but your story was too inky
nice flow, nice and cool vocab
but this time vote will take a cab

Macabre:

this verse had historical feel
it had some political appeal
and other aspects, details were dope
we'll battle some day I hope

vote = Macabre

[Anaphora]

Knight: Some of this shit was a bit too stilted... like:
Inside the box her imagination would become in fasination

Other than that though it was pretty cool, but there was nothing really as to why Pandora was so unhappy... would've been a good thing to throw in there.. flow was decent, story decent, all around decent verse, nice and short.

Macabre: I know how that shit goes with the no time... I didn't really like the comparisons between Bush and Hitler... they're not really analogous... Bush is no insane political mastermind... as NOFX says... He's the idiot son of an asshole... too dumb to eat pretzels. The play on the term Patriot's act was cool, would've liked to see it play around that more, maybe instead of suicide (which didn't fit too much) assasinate Bush or something... or Cheney, shit, an alka-seltzer could probably do that... but yea, flow was good, I wouldn't call it flawless, I think Erykah's been poppin some pills or somethin, cuz it was no Omen or Vern verse, but it was good... so the story was ok, flow was good, damn, this is a close one.

I think I'm gonna go with Macabre, but it was a damn close battle.

[6th_plague]

Originally Posted by Chase Murda

this one goes to macabre.. lil youngin you got this one off son i like the story lines even though YOU KHOW WHATS UP....i give props when props are do... stay up

your kidding... i know your kidding

[Infinite Truth]

im actually gonna have to vote- knight

i appreciated his originality more.. yes, macabre had a dope scheme.. & the flows were both pretty nice.. but other than that.. i wholeheartedly think knight deserves it.. his concept, his plot, his originality, his mechanics, his twist, & especially the imagery & just how he worded his lines

props to both though, no doubt

hot battle

can tell both will be moving on up

pz

[Knight.]

^wurd good looks

[Muti]

HMMMM

My vote Knight


I liked his verse...the imagery was nice.. the ending was nice... the whole story sorta came together.. Wasn't his best I hope but still good..

Macabre.... your words of definition was good..detail was good flow was good but the story really didnt' do anything for me...

[Richard Corey]

I'm going with knight. I liked his story more... there was meaning behind it and there was a depth in the simplicity of his language...

Macabre was cool, his story wasn't really a 'story' per se...but that's not necessary. But what is necessary is to move and keep the reader's attention. I felt Macabre was just stating facts and rambling off his opinion. NIce for an essay...boring for a topical...

but it was still okay...

but knight killed this...Pandora's box...the metaphor for a gun case was very subtle. Sure it can help her, keep her safe...but in the same sense, in the tradition of Pandora's box, it could also bring a lot of pain...

vote: knight


ps. we need more of these 16 line topical battles, honestly.

I'll do better next week, I promise lol.

I had to say the same in my RBL verse this week, it's a mixture of a sudden Research paper that's due and flat out laziness lol. Thanks for the votes people, most of you are right on the money.

[SeQueL]

vote= knights


Well this was a nice lil easy topical battle to judge on.
I thought knight had a very dope lil concept on pandoras box jus holdin a gun in it... the lil story that was within ur piece progressed pretty well although it coulda been more descriptive.

Macabre touched on the government issues and everything but where was da story? the imagery and all dat? plus da suicide at the end just didnt work lol i kinda saw no point in that

Vote = Knight....

Mac was nice, i liked the topic of government issues...kinda felt youd be good on that but your seriously fucked the end up... it just didnt intergrate at all. its as if you just got bored and thought 'aw fuck it, ill kill him' lol. Kinda ok with the issues but it was more just your opinion, you didnt go any were from there to justify etc... Knights gun in the box was ill... nice and interesting excellent writting. In felt you could have elaborated a hell of a lot more but as it stand it was good enought to take this by a distance...