#1 Contendership: 3. Tha Talent 23-11 Vs 4. Patriarch 15-2

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Old 09-23-2003, 11:57 PM   #1 (permalink)
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#1 Contendership: 3. Tha Talent 23-11 Vs 4. Patriarch 15-2





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Old 09-24-2003, 12:06 AM   #2 (permalink)
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this has been seen..

gluck talent, i like your pieces so this should be nice..

pZ
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Old 09-24-2003, 08:04 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Tha Talent takes it up the butt!
hi.
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Old 09-27-2003, 05:20 AM   #5 (permalink)
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11. A conversation with God
---------------------------

White = God speaking...
Lightblue = My thoughts and me speaking...


lights dimming slow as i under-go, a tranquil state
the sounds turn mellow, and my cares start to sedate
straight, on a mattress of satin.. body seems to be flattened
pain is non-existent, no more disease attackin my masses
my soul passes thru my glasses, into the new eyes of the warmth
seeping up out of my corpse, into the great allmighty force...
source of my maddness begins to vanish.. and then a face comes forth
"just put your hurt aside son, cause it shall bother you no more"
"...are you God?" ..i sounded un-sure, then he said
"the God of you"
"let me guide you thru your life, letting your new light shine right thru"
"as a child we all are innocent, not knowin the world around us"
"grabbing ahold of close ones souls, thus we trust all we encounter"
"growing up is a tedious task, individually.. we try to succeed"
"avoiding or being the breed that misleads with infinite greed"
"feeding on pain of others, true evil, the kind thats not in books"
"ones that hate another man, just because the way that his skin looks"
"the ones that rape young children, by using candy as their hooks"
"the ones that bomb the innocent, and the ones refferred as crooks"
"not to mention the man that puts, his selfish needs before my book"

"but i'm none of those things, so does this mean i goto heaven?"
"of course my son, one of the few, but the gates is where your headed"
"my kingdom is not what they said,-and in fact.. its what you make it"
"the old life continues on, at any point that you wish to take it"
"the power is ever so sacred, evil men cannot posses this after death"
"their afterlife is a nightmarish loop, that of which will never end"
"insanity forever, no devil with a fork.. no fires and no flames"
"the devil is themselves, and the images that they've created"
"hated for eternity, stuck, always reminded of why the ends like this"

"its a shame after all ive heard.. that evil even still exists.."
"take a second, reminisce.. then decide where on earth youd like to emerge"
"ive decided already God.." "Ok my son.." " I choose my birth.."
"Done.."





Just my outlook on things.. g'luck talent..
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Old 09-27-2003, 10:36 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Tha Talent takes it up the butt!
Sally's Got a One Track Mind

Sally's got a one track mind - stuck on food and sleep
the tiniest composure, tough though crude and weak
her little arms reaching, streaking, grimacing for it quicker
the innocent sort of picture of limitless lore and glitter
the spoon's an airplane - zooming to digestion destination
and when the jar is done, the kicking turns to her stagnation
...
Sally's got a one track mind - always chillin at Sesame Street
laying on the floor near the TV, all i see is a head and two feet
the little pony tail bouncing as her head bobs to the music
legs bent up at the knee, kicking as she watches profusley
locking so loosely, as Bert and Ernie squabble and fight
she watches a kite, but doesn't play with the one she got from Aunt Bryce
...
Sally's got a one track mind - friends, friends, and more friends
Cabbage Patch, Barbie and double-dutch - a crescendo suspend
fun, fun, and more fun - unceasing, living it large
makeup kits and pillow fights, exploring rivers on "Mars"
that were really creeks in the forest, but imagination was past creation
an exploring young brain that kept with the faster pacing
...
Sally's got a one track mind - she's Little Miss Boy-Crazy
too riddled with coif straightening to fiddled with toys lately
earings - blush - hair spray - and a crush on little man Erik Rush
with his bright blue eyes and spiked hair that you dare not touch
Miss Popularity - with a quick wit and bright future
but she can't remove her eyes from the behind of her science tutor
...
Sally's got a one track mind - her boyfriend - Johnson Towns
for one year, three months, nine days they've walked on clouds
holding hands, strolling down the halls, sidewalks, and beaches
gazing deep into eachother's hazel eyes, its all so scenic
the first love, more than a crush, she gave it all up for him
and after she stood up straight, she'd end up falling for him again
...
Sally's got a one track mind - and it's certainly over Johnson
now in matters of love, Sally's tounge grows cold, despondant
unconscious - a raver with a lust only for music
partying was a side step in her life of holding to music
her vagina now loose, fat, and swollen from music
her eyes lit up, red and glassy - glowing from music
her head bopping - in an otherwise emotionless poise
she lived the life of the music - no more hoping and boys
just coping through noise - noise through electrical chords
she found people as idiots, and so her essense was bored
- but the music - the music of mayhem, and all that comes with it
though she never used the word, you could tell she's in love with it
dumb witted - the pain relieved, released, anger management
a blasting set of headphones clenching her ears with savage grip
mastered it, remastered it, flipped the script, and blasted more
a coke head complexion complete with a bastard's scorn
...
Sally's got a one track mind - and its walking with her to a concert
she walks back into the dressing room, the guys certain to mock her
for tardiness, it was her first headline gig, after the album was dope
and as the makeup artist powered her nose, Sally powered her nose
to get the rush, the sensation, then she threw on the headphones
pumped for the show, its time - she steps on stage and starts blasting
and blasting, and blasting, and blasting, until then - that's it
it stops - an electrical failure, perhaps a black out
Sally begins to blackout too, no way to back out
Gerber - Elmo - Barbie - Erik - Johnson - all bruising, left her blind
but in the end, Sally's one track mind stopped with the music - and she died
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Old 09-28-2003, 02:09 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Old 09-28-2003, 04:17 PM   #8 (permalink)
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wow this was a dope battle...I liked Patriarch's structure and how he devoloped the topic but I felt he could have gone deeper and added more detail to his verse...he kinda short-circuited it...

Talent's verse was hot...he developed the topic thoroughly and went into great detail about his plot...imagery was nice, and while the content was simplistic, he developed it real well...nice battle....

vote= Tha Talent

g'luck
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Old 09-28-2003, 09:01 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Patriarch: im replying as im reading into the quick reply..so as of n0w..this part was a great way to introduce bringing god into the picture..

my soul passes thru my glasses, into the new eyes of the warmth
seeping up out of my corpse, into the great allmighty force...
source of my maddness begins to vanish.. and then a face comes forth

i really liked that part..dope start off..

"growing up is a tedious task, individually.. we try to succeed"
"avoiding or being the breed that misleads with infinite greed"
"feeding on pain of others, true evil, the kind thats not in books"
"ones that hate another man, just because the way that his skin looks"

nice content right there...feeling that a lot..

"but i'm none of those things, so does this mean i goto heaven?"
"of course my son, one of the few, but the gates is where your headed"
"my kingdom is not what they said,-and in fact.. its what you make it"
"the old life continues on, at any point that you wish to take it"

very solid flow righ tthere..content was nice as hell...overall this was definalty a fire verse...imma read the talents now..


Talent: holy fuck man...i cant even quote one part of that story...that was on some raw ass story telling..that verse was flawless in my eyes..i wish it didn't end lol..i was hooked onto reading every line of that..wow man..very very dope story..content was perfect..flow, multis..everything was on point..this verse was off the chain..

vote = talent
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Old 09-30-2003, 11:04 AM   #10 (permalink)
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....
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Old 09-30-2003, 11:56 AM   #11 (permalink)
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damn....thas all tha votes...

ayo this shit is crazy...

Patriarch...this verse was fire....i did tha same topic so i felt where u was comin from...alot of heart felt shit....i just couldnt reallyt get into it

Talent...verse was simply amazin all kinds of quoteables in this joint....kept me readin....i read this twice for me..lol...but u set tha shit off real deal....

vote-The Talent
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Old 09-30-2003, 01:20 PM   #12 (permalink)
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This was a good battle, alot of good ish from both, I was feeling Tha Talents Verse more though.

Vote: Talent
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Old 09-30-2003, 04:42 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Talent Wins
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