[DF:WK5] Lotus vs _KDP_ (Vote!)

[Lucifa]

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Down To Business.
This Match-Up is between:
In Rank Order

Lotus
Active Worth: -01pts
Vs.
_KDP_
Active Worth: 007pts

Good Luck Ladies.
Prove Your Worth

[L. Kross]

In. Alternate.

[_KDP_]

Death is the only thing we haven't succeeded in completely vulgarizing. - Aldous Huxley

.40 Calibre

Gunned down in the throws of his prime, focus aligned
motives maligned, intentions left by the roadside holdin a sign
solely inclined to hope he’d save face
raised stakes, changed the pace of the game to the slowest of grinds
bolding the lines, throwin some shine ‘n blowin a line
He’d show’em this time, no need to rewind
made him coat his own throat wit’is pride…
made him crave retaliation, taste of gloat on the side.
Into his mind he’d disappear for a while,
fearin jeers of his peers
residents sneerin as they peer into his medical files
stifled laughter he could hear in their smiles
brain raced as simulations chased the dead in his eyes…

Lil’ sis brokered the news, hopin for clues, reload’n view
knowin a few of his closest dudes would sho’ come through
wish they’d shed light on a dark day…
the dark haze her bro was in before his madness went stark rave
they said he took a L like no other
beat til dental rec’s couldn’t convice his own mother,
but still he survived
mouth ran a mile a minute to mask the stillness inside
drifted to oblivy; left the rest for sis to describe
she sighed before she filled in the blanks
feelin restrained… his life was filled with complaints, shit never changed
until he hanged, couldn’t deal with the loss
so she thanked them for the info ‘n quickly logged off

boastful n proud, strokin the crown he’s showin em now
showed up ‘n wow, can’t believe he’s been holdin it down!
slow it on down, the reaction wasn’t exactly that fashion
happened more like… wow, what a fuckin faggot
what kind of flaming loser would take summin tragic
pledge turn n prestige it then reappear as if magic
crossdressin in internet fishnets to assist wit the lie
now that they knew he was alive, they all wished he would die
fancy fallacy couldn’t withstand a child’s scrutiny
planned for parades but moves led to mutiny
even the fam he usually ran wit disowned the chattle
fake suicides, sister aliases? over an RBL battle?
resurrection of a text legend… harsh responses confuse him
peoples champ, nothing’s sadder than the death of an illusion.

[L. Kross]

A Suicide Note

God seems to have left the receiver off the hook and time is running out - Arthur Koestler



A wayward threat that ran away with breath
My reflection in a puddle of cocain an sweat
No name. Forget. Spit. Hit a slow drain that drip
So strained I rip. Lookin hard at the razor edge
Brain a wreck. Empty pill bottle of some pain forget
Insane. Im stressed. Drownin in the liquor rain, Im wet
To forget the pain an rest an yet the strain progress
Look up an grabbed the wheel. Nearly lain to rest
But the car swerved, Im in the wrong lane, I guess
An somethins wrong in my brain: I aint changed it yet
The car weavin an woops while Im reachin for booze
Drivin with my knees on the wheel, weavin a noose
Told so many lies that we dont even believe in the truth
Everything fell apart, and what's the reason a youth
Is cleanin an loadin a AK an squeezin at troops?
An a bitch thats got the AIDs is sleepin wit dudes
Feels like civilization is racin to leap ta their dooms
Six feet deep in the dunes, the masses sleep in a tomb
The sheep an the wolves have all been equally fooled
Hope that God gets back to the receiver, and soon.
Cause its gettin so bad to where nothin'll phase em
We're all laughin at death an fuckin with danger
Jesus'll tell you its a thin line from a dungeon an manger
And its surely been crossed once we bludgeon the savior
No one rushin to save em, no its nothin but anger
Im no better, tuckin the banger, one in the chamber
This is a letter that I'm writin so that you an I know
I always lived my life by this do-or-die code
Pure survival is not as true as I know
So you'll never wonder why if I choose that I go
So Im leavin you behind this suicide note
Cause he knows the loss, not that it even shows at all
You notice flaws an yall just refuse to focus on
I know em well, and no, I dont condone the laws
So know that Im signin this in blood:

Sincerely,

Lotus Kross

[Got Life?]

KDP - lol...I don't think everyone will get this because not everyone knows who Calibre is, but I thought it was hysterical...I like the way you depicted all this and shined some light on that clown...your character development was on point and I only connected the title with him at the end and it made for quite an enjoyable read...nothing over the top special and some rhyme repetitions could have been avoided, wording wasn't the best, but none the less I still liked it.

Lotus - I haven't read this yet, but I'm going into it assuming it won't be all that good already...nothing against you, but suicide pieces are terribly cliche, been done a million times and I really hope you do something in this verse to convince me otherwise...and then I read it...could you have been more cliche honestly...cocaine, drinking, popping pills, swerving in a car...and you couldn't even stay on subject flipping it into some random rant about a few random things in the world...fuck I hated this verse.

vote = KDP, what's with everyone this week?

[3-Planes]

kdp

too esoteric topic, and i sure as hell won't read up on this to be able to understand this and i won't refrain voting either - i hate pieces about the league/site you're on, this was basically a glorified diss that was admittedly pretty well-written (at least certain sections of it) - though you had some very weird contractions and a few other instances of iffy wording.. flow had some dips but was overall pretty good

kross

this piece was untidy, while the wording/flow/syntax were all at a decent level i'm still left with the feeling that you should've spent an extra 10 minutes to clean this up, reword a couple of sentences and make sure the imagery is on point.. pretty strained narration, labored earnestness so to speak..

while i got the gist of kdp's piece, i still didn't understand the references.. while i didn't particularly enjoy l. kross' piece he delivered the more coherent one (to me) in this match

vote: L. Kross

[Jimmy Eles]

^ hate vote......lool....

nah but umm....

lotus.....- your flow and skeme in this jawn was really tight so it made it a very easy read...generic piece but there isn't really anything that hasn't been done at least once so that dont matter much to be..you did okay with the emotional aspect of your charecter..not much imagery though...


kdp - lol it was a funny story ...built it up nice......flow was off in some part...one line would be 12 syl...next would be 16....just in some area.....it was a good read from the story stand point but once in a while it threw me off....

vote - kdp - told a better story ....

[L. Kross]

Originally Posted by Got Life?

Lotus - nothing against you

Fuck you, fatboy. I am daring you to audio battle me, chubbs.

An matter-of-factly, all the cliches tied together is what made it hot. Period. Not an opinion, no arguing. Just, period. I tied like every way to kill yourself into one piece and you can suck my dick.

[_KDP_]

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[DF:WK5] CONTENDERSHIP : Vern Acular vs Atheist (Vote!)
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[DF:WK5] Chin Kwon vs Khoi NguJin (Vote!)

.

[Chin Kwon]

KDP

A topical on one of the site favorite bad guy, ok, i was diggin this verse. Though i've come to believe that Cal is just putting an act at this point, i still like some of the theories you came up with. Especially that last stanza. I had no complaint with the flow as it read very smoothly. This was a light entertaining piece that did the job. Good shit.


L Kross

First thing first, the flow was ill despite some spellings and grammatical errors. It was definitely the strong point of the verse...however, there were times where u really forced ur words to work the flow. I usually don't have a problem with that if the content is somewhat solid but this verse was kind all over the place. You shift from one guy's persepective to:

We're all laughin at death an fuckin with danger
Jesus'll tell you its a thin line from a dungeon an manger

^^cool lines but, but it disrupt the personal feel of the piece. Basically i expected something grand for a breakdown of why he's commiting suicide and all i got were random disconnected thoughts.


Vote = KDP. His verse had a stronger mechanic as well as entertainment factor. L Kross piece was less focused despite his strong flow.

[Vern Acular]

kdp....

lol...i did sonething like this before but it was towards my actual rstl opponent...i think it was insanevillian but that was years ago, any way your multi's were sick, some forced, but still nice, the read was smooth beginning to end, for people that dont know calibre will look at this like wtf...but for those who know will laugh a little, any way not a great verse, but the incorporation of your actual topic was a nice play on the verse...above average


lotus...


very well written the multi's were superb i could flow this to a track easily, the story in itself was just ok for me though, im really getting tired of the whole suicide thing, the fact you used yourself as the victim was not as cliched considered most people have a fictional character, but this was still just ok, written good but the substance of the verse wasn't good due to the lack of creativity

VOTE - KDP

both verses were wrtten well in mechanic terms, but KDP edged lotus out with his creativity, the whole suicide thing should be banned in the RSTL IMO, it's like a cum line in the RSTL, dont get me wrong written well, just wrong subject...props to both

[.:Pain:.]

KDP - lol, This was pretty much an RBL verse in RSTL format, and I'm still not quite sure if I could dig it. Your rhyme scheme was good, but in some places, a syllable would be missing in an established rhyme scheme and it would fuck me up while I was reading, you should really try to keep that pretty uniform. Flow was on and off too. Because of your mechanics, I had to stop a whole bunch of times and re-read, but at its peak your mechanics were nearly perfect. The content was pretty cool, you actually told a pretty complete story considering it was about an internet persona. Like I said, still not sure if I'm feelin' it conceptually, but well written nontheless.

Lotus - Flow was damn near perfect, that really made this piece that much more enjoyable. Nothing was choppy, and your natural rhyme scheme really added to that fact. I don't know why everyone is hating on your content, I thought the content was real cool. I thought that some of the social commentaries you made were really on point and not onyl valid, but completely factual yet riddled with emotion. Idk, this piece really stuck to me bro, I really enjoyed this shit, I can't see what the other voters were thinkin'. I've never withheld a vote for someone because their topic was cliche (which yours was) as long as it's executed well, and this was executed very well.

Vote - Lotus...

[Lucifa]

KDP - June 2008 reg and you know so much about Cal? .. whatever your reasons for not liking him .. this verse was some light hearted fun to read .. some people hate it when verses are written using i-net personas to base a verse around .. I don't mind myself .. I've used RSTL peeps as characters and such .. but this was more of a personal attack on Cal and he isn't even in the RSTL anymore .. I dunno .. the writing was good with a nice flow and good use of multi rhyming .. the ending stanza was my favourite part and summed up the verse well ..

Lotus - this was a pretty smooth read .. mechanics were sound and this could be spat on a beat with little changes needed in the wording .. the concept of using suicide is 'played' but seriously .. what isn't anymore? .. I think you tackled it fairly well in the content but far from saying anything new .. interest level for me was on the low side but ..

Vote = Lotus .. I think the content was more interesting to read for me personally .. what KDP wrote was pretty cool and fractionally smile enducing with solid mechanics in general .. but I took nothing away from it .. finished the read and thought "ha .. ok .. moving on" .. whereas Lotus put something out there that had some feeling to the lyrics .. fairly close and both were written well .. but Lotus had the more appealing (even though 'played') content for me ..

[Quriosity]

Ends a tie, 3-3