[DF:WK5] basic|s|kill vs 3-Planes (Vote!)

[Lucifa]

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Down To Business.
This Match-Up is between:
In Rank Order

basic|s|kill
Active Worth: 001pts
Vs.
3-Planes
Active Worth: 000pts

Good Luck Ladies.
Prove Your Worth

[3-Planes]

buuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrp

[basic|s|kill]

Hello and good luck

[3-Planes]

since i became a born again christian a few days ago, henceforth all i can write about is my faith... go with Christ!

"the threshold of life"

..i was astray - wayward and lost
an atheist caught - sedated, distraught
and the Creator - consecreated my thoughts
- sanctified insight the elevation i sought
the revelation it wrought - my mind exploded!
- a sublime codex for divine concordant
life is glory.. and i razed it to pieces
- but if you embrace the Lord safety increases
my life is now a celebration of Jesus
- as i solemnly ponder the tenets of freedom
religion - and how it relates to my penis
- i feel generations of demons dwell in my semen
masturbation might be the greatest of feelings..
the devil's deceit - a temptation, it's evil!
but i've changed my ways - i won't stray or fail
- under the lord and savior's graceful gaze
but whew at that gaze - intense and wet
- lurking behind me i can smell his breath
when i sleep he watches - rocking steady
- in a rocking chair, eyes locked and ready
my butt - i think he wants to pop it's cherry
- cus boy the words he whispers hot and heavy..

"dude, i want to put a broom in your ass
- my shoes and grass and my tools in your ass
stock wool in your ass - and fruit in your ass
- keep tanks of airplane fuel in your ass
a pool in your ass - build a school in your ass!
stuff some beers in there to cool in your ass
amass the herd, proclaim doom in your ass
- build gun ranges where fools can duel in your ass
a dimmer switch - enhance the mood of your ass
- that's basically what i want to do to your ass"


i feel his salvation, deep inside...

[basic|s|kill]

The Angst of the Teen


thats Eileen:
a strong teen, long seen as the next prom queen
the popular type, who's never put a foot wrong, or ever been..
without friends, instead she's got stacks
the alpha-female - she's the head of the pack
at least thats what she thinks, but the crux of the matter..
is behind her back we all chatter, and think her butts getting fatter
plus her skins drying up, and the clothes she got aren't commended
by the end of the term, her time at the top will have ended






I'm Eileen:
the alpha-female, apparently, or so the girls keep telling me
but beneath it all, their compliments are deep with jealousy
they send notes round about me, until the lectures end
but then its all 'lets pretend', that we're the best of friends
while they pursue treacherous ends, perfecting coherence and mutiny
brutally honest, subjecting my appearance to scrutiny
I fear what they'd do to me, should I ever slip up
it makes me wanna be dead, I hope I get hit by a truck
and with that bit of luck, i could escape this nip-tuck mentality
but instead I'm stuck in a fallacy, where my friends callously harass me
they hope to embarrass me, but can't tell that I'm hurting
my confidence worsens, I'm left as a shell of a person
all this because of my looks. God how I hate my mates
so now I take a mace, aimed to desecrate my face
in my haste I waste my mirror, so I sit to take a breather
but then I realize - without my good looks, I don't like myself either






please read this fully, I put alot of effort into it

[oNeiRiC]

wow, its like, i need to be patient in order to beat impatience

and i need to be glorified in God in order to beat the humility of emasculating thoughts

that was a genious verse

and thoust will seek pride amongst the criticism, i fear


while they pursue treacherous ends, perfecting coherence and mutiny
~ felt treacherous was too much and forced

I fear what they'd do to me, should I ever slip up
it makes me wanna be dead, I hope I get hit by a truck
~ha comin frmo a chick thats a mellow flow i was digging

either way

3 planes dropped a piece that tore off about three layers of bullshit materialistic society shit that, even tho basic gave off a near flawless verse, it would of had to been flawless to pull out the win

vote 3 planes

[Atheist]

3 Planes:
I was hoping, after all your bullshitting a fortnight ago when you signed out, you would have dropped something with more substance. But yet again, this verse was all style and no content. The flow was incredible, no doubt, and the rhyme scheme was incredible for the most part. Furthermore, your wordng was complex and the epitome of elegance. But the substance itself was just poor. And the second segment was just an absolute bore to read. You must have such an anally retentive personality (no pun intended) because your constant focus on the ass was disturbing. I don’t have much else to say about this piece, but thanks for giving me a shout out in the second line.

Favourite lines:
the revelation it wrought - my mind exploded!
- a sublime codex for divine concordant
life is glory.. and i razed it to pieces
- but if you embrace the Lord safety increases
my life is now a celebration of Jesus
- as i solemnly ponder the tenets of freedom

basic |s| kill:
This was an okay verse about a struggling teen who, although popular, gets bitched about constantly. I like the two-way approach brought to the story, whereby some teenagers seemingly talked behind her back like “that’s Eileen and this is what’s wrong with her” etc, etc and then you proceeded into the angle of Eileen herself, who realises that without her beautiful appearance she is an empty individual with no good qualities personality-wise. However, I must question the ending; when she smashed the mirror and came to the realisation that ‘without her good looks she didn’t like herself either’, did her character change and develop a personality? Or did she simply continue to use her appearance to get her by? I think you needed to clarify that a lot more.

Favourite Lines:
I'm Eileen:
the alpha-female, apparently, or so the girls keep telling me
but beneath it all, their compliments are deep with jealousy
they send notes round about me, until the lectures end
but then its all 'lets pretend', that we're the best of friends
while they pursue treacherous ends, perfecting coherence and mutiny
brutally honest, subjecting my appearance to scrutiny


------------------------------------------------------------


This is a difficult match up to vote on. 3-Planes came with a great writing style and mechanics which is undeniably one of the best in the RSTL, but yet again, his substance was incredibly lacking in my opinion. On the other hand, Basic came with, quite simply, a basic writing style but an enjoyable content that bettered the sexual-religious ideations in 3-Planes verse. I’ve always said I’m a man who prefers substance over style, and I don’t think I saw enough here to sway that stance, even though 3-Planes came incredibly close in doing so, lol. Therefore…

Vote: Basic.

[Lucifa]

hmmm ..

3-P - lol .. wtf? @ the green text .. I have to say that kind spoilt the verse for me .. I'm really not in to religious pieces but this was a different approach and I was actually feeling the content and definitely the mechanics of the first stanza .. it was written with your usual prowess as far as mechanics go .. real easy and smooth to read but then came the "ass" section and it really disappointed me that that was where the verse led .. although the "deep inside me" line at the end made me smile .. iono .. I liked it but I think you went out your way to 'ruin' it with that 2nd stanza ..

Basic - this was quite an enjoyable read IMO .. I liked the approach to the content .. overall it was somewhat simple in both the idea and the approach to mechanics .. but it didn't read simplistic (if you get me) .. I think the ending was good but it also left too many things unanswered as to why the verse was written in the first place .. it didn't lead to anything substantial IMO .. just a quick reference to her realisation .. but didn't proceed to tell us what became of that realisation .. which was a disappointment in itself ..

this is kinda hard to vote on as neither gave me the 'outro' that would have satisfied me as a reader .. basic leaving me asking - "so what now?" .. 3-P leaving me asking - "lol .. wtf?" ..

Vote = basic|s|kill .. I dunno .. 3-Planes definitely had this in the bag until he decided the "ass" thing was a good idea .. cos I was enjoying his read to that point .. and although basic's ending was flawed I think the sub-standard mechanics compared to 3-P aren't so important as his read was interesting enough to counter that ..

[Got Life?]

What a shitty week...

3-pa - well you certainly accomplished what you proclaimed about how you were going to write complete bullshit...this piece certainly missed the mark of having comedic value...it was overkill on a subject that's been done/been covered in the same manner and no matter how you polish it up with clever wording, good flow and a solid scheme, it's still not a good verse and it completely lacked any substance of value. I think you lost this one for yourself yet again.

Basic - well you definitely didn't make voting easy on us...this piece had potential, but I think you cut it short and right as you were starting to delve into something with those last lines and starting to really develop eileen your story ended...the writing itself wasn't bad, but I felt like the writing was in the right direction, but not written as well as it could have been...it was a decent little story though.

this is the constant struggle of mechanics vs content and I don't think 3-pa's mechanics were so overpowering to over shadow how irritating it was to read that entire "in your ass" stanza.

vote = Basic.

[3-Planes]

thanks good people - i don't want to win in this league (but i do want to vote)

[Quriosity]

3P, i can't say i didn't like this because the twisted factor was a nice touch and the mechanics were spot on, very sick and sadistic in nature but it all added up nicely for a pretty good but brief script, i am a firm believer in Christ so i feel almost naughty even reading this and saying that it was well done but for what its worth the story was slightly humorous and very mature in structure, the ass part at the end arguably ruined the script but it also gave the story life at the same time, not realistic as to what a believer would think but a skeptic or someone of that nature, someone that over analyzes religion and reason and whatnot, it was also somewhat realistic (though no realistic at all) as to a reason for why he would be watching, funny too, i still think you could have done so much more like delve into the fact that God may not be all good and could be both good and bad and indeed the two forces that work in human nature, i don't know, this seemed to be off to a good start to dig into a reason behind religion but you opted to go the funny route, still it was done nicely and i think you accomplished what you meant to which is not much as far as rstl verses go, overall nice but didn't offer much, definitely not written with the depth that one interpreted but it had the potential to be had you extended the story and took a more serious approach

basic, off top been and queen don't rhyme, i'm unaware of your accent but in english queen would rhyme with fiend, seen, mean, green, or even thing whereas been would rhyme with hen, sin, kin, men, tin, lend, mend, Schwinn, and things down that path, being that this was your opener i found it a bit distracting and it threw me off, your writing is decent but this could have been quite a bit more emotional, i did enjoy the ending but the bulk was wordy without cause in my opinion, a lot seemed as though you placed it there without instinct but with thought which came off as unnatural, for example the fallacy/callously line which was also stretched quite a bit, also the mace/desecrate line, i could be wrong but even so they didn't come off as naturally in my opinion, also the story wasn't too realistic to me, like on one end the entire teenage population of the school pretends as if she's the shit when really she has bad skin, a fat ass, and raggedy clothing, then you go on to say that she has a nip-tuck mentality which i would take as if she's very superficial which would be the complete opposite of what you described, she would be skinny and throwing up with caked on makeup and all the cool clothes, just seems as though they should have different reasons to hate than the ones you set in motion, and i didn't like the "she's got stacks" and things of that nature that seemed to be out of place and only thrown in because of the rhyme, another gripe would be the pictures you chose which i think worked well but were tied poorly to the topic, the pictures didn't give me a teenage vibe at all which could arguably not be a problem but i think the pictures you choose should have a specific purpose, it also wasn't a prom dress at all, nevertheless i did like the ending here which as nicely done but overall i'm just not sure about this verse

3-Planes wins it for me, even if he was comical, i simply found too much wrong with basic's while 3P's main problem was that it was too brief, i didn't want him to end it like that but it was still a fitting ending for his vision and worked well with the story, i also didn't really care for his content because of its sick nature and subtle attack at religious beliefs but i can respect it from a writer's standpoint and it was quite enjoyable for such a small story

3P wins

[_KDP_]

i guess this was 3PA's attempt of interjecting humor into his writing. pretty good attempt. i don't really understand the purpose of throwing a hissyfit via your verses, but wtf @ the second half. 1st half, mechanics were good, content was ehhh but that 2nd half ruined any shot at me liking this piecce


basic skill - that was a nice read. did a good job of painting the outside view first and then moving in on the emotional weight on the individual, basically i'm saying you structured the development of the story well. rhyme schemes were consistent throughout, only one line really where i had trouble keeping pace when reading. nothing really wrong with this piece here brah. good shit.


vote-basic skill

[Jimmy Eles]

3 wording and all was very dope...everything mechanically was actuly...cept for the ass verse..even though that even had good multi use in it lol...flow was there..far as the story...not very much substance....more just the kid talking bout his religion.then sucumbin to desire..not well devolped..

basic - i real enjoyed reading this liked how the 2 verse changed up into 2 differant points of view from outside to inside ....could of made it longerbecause the end left me wanting more...kinda jus ended..basic skeme some use of multi's

one again im faced with story or mechanics..i choose the better stroy...


vote basic

[Chin Kwon]

3pa

An enjoyable read. Not as abstract as your other pieces, but it had it's charm. I'm not sure if this was a satirical take on Christianity but it did presented itself with some rather provocative ideas (not to mention imageries). LOL, overall what i liked about this verse was that funny feeling i had at the end. DIRTY!


VS


Basic

A cool narrative on the value of appearance in society. I really like this verse. The interesting thing about this verse was that it gave two prespectives on the same subject. One was the crueler perspective of society when face with something/someone superior and the other was the contrasting inner voice of the 'superior' person. The character development was a good one and i wasn't too disappointed at the ending, cause ultimately I don't think this was supposed to be a "Story" story, it was more of an idea that was attempted with much caution. I enjoyed this.


Vote = Basic S Kill. Despite 3pa's flawless mechanic, Basic took the win with a more thorough discussion and a more entertaining story. Good battle guys!

[Quriosity]

Basic wins, 6-2