[DF:WK4] tbone vs. Eye-Rime (Vote!)

[TheReturn]

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Down To Business.
This Match-Up is between:
In Rank Order

tbone
Active Worth: 001pts
Vs.
Eye-Rime
Active Worth: 000pts

Good Luck Ladies.
Prove Your Worth

[Quriosity]

here.
alternate.

1] [DF:WK4] Blue Contendership: Atheist vs. _KDP_ (Vote!)
2] [DF:WK4] Red Championship: Scatterboxx vs. Got Life? (Vote!)
3] [DF:WK4] Red Contendership: Vern Acular vs. Saga (Vote!)
4] [DF:WK4] Blue Championship: TheReturn vs. .:Pain:. (Vote!)
5] [DF:WK4] DaAlmightyDolla vs. nom de plume. (Vote!)

[Quriosity]

blah, this is solely for the extra points

"The Son of Laika"

I felt the ground descend from beneath
And the stars I knew extend from my reach
Wondering if I would ascend to my peak
Or wash up with my limbs to the beach
The dimmest of streets, so timid and weak
Their life forms were such a primitive fleet
I grin with my teeth, skimming their meat
Though most were pale and thinner than me
I remembered the weeks, running in fields
Realizing that I haven't tumbled in years
But I was extraordinary, no run of the mill
And no longer would I rummage for meals

The lights were dim and people were weary
The whole scene was sad, feeble and dreary
All splattered as paws pattered the road
Through small puddles, often flattered to know
That I still caught their eyes, patting my coat
Watching TV's that were shattered and broke
The reporters screamed, gathering quotes
Of all the nation's greatest, staggering though
The drab report seemed so traumatic to most
While I laughed as though it had to be jokes
Until tragedy shows pictures of bombs that hit
Destroying half of the Washington Monument
It was common sense, though dammit, it hurt
Knowing I was back on this planet.. this Earth
And the world would be pissed when they knew
It wasn't a bomb, but only the ship that I flew

Panic stricken streets with thugs trickled
On chocolate covered corners like fudge sickles
The Negro race ran rampant for white woes
And white men no longer hunted for white hoes
The mulatto kids were all prancing on porches
As hooded men stood, dancing with torches
I saw phantoms lurk in the dead of the night
Cities cried, and nations were settled in fright
A troubled time for men returning from war
They left well, only to learn they were poor
But I trotted near curbs of their Hoovervilles
Simply shocked by what they'd do for meals
And how old ladies with rifles would shoot to kill
At any coon caught riding in Coup de Villes

Nothing changed since the time when I died
In the backyard, napped by a Communist spy
It was all for show, to exploit American fears
Once they even thought to let a pelican steer
A hell of a year, the Russians labeled me dead
Some children thought I was a fable instead
But I cradled my head, and survived the land
And was soon introduced to a vibrant clan
The God of the stars, assuming the throne
The moon was my land, Sputnik2 was my home

But they sent me back to a past that I left
Walking wicked streets and gasping for breath
Dying. In dog years, I was older than Christ
A girl rushed off her steps to watch over my life
As my crown fell, I felt a knot in my throat
"H-h-help m-meee!" She was shocked that I spoke
Patting my belly, with hopes that I'm feeling fine
But I wasn't. I spat blood over her skinny thighs
Slobbing. Saliva dripped from my jaws to her toes
And she cried, and I felt enthralled by her woes
Guts and grime would squirt in her open mouth
Waving hands, berserk as she chokes and shouts
But it was my mission, listen, my pension's won
See, air in space is unfit for an infant's lungs
So I traveled back, lying in grass for his birth
Knowing I could no longer last on this Earth
But sadly enough, my soul surely would mourn
Cos her Dad shot me right before he was born.

[Lucifa]

I have looked at the voting thing mentioned in the mag regarding tbone's copy & pasting ..

proper weaksauce kid .. gay as all hell to do that to people .. and you will be getting points reduction to reflect your patheticness ..

[tbone]

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
- Herm Albright


The only thing the public sees is the song that is finished
None of them know exactly how much heart and soul I put in it
When i write
I'm bound by a force that forces me
To write till I know that the only source is me
100 percent real
100 percent self
give 100 percent
till no percent is left
And if I do any less
then I'll put out of my chest
A heart un-pure cause that's all you got left
when the world fucked you over
Your fire's left to smolder
You feel older
And the whole world's weight's all over your shoulders
I'm not a gangsta
but I still got a gun
It's my tongue and my brain and my pen working as one
spit lyrical fire
burns brighter and brighter
Never copped out or copied
Cause then I'd be a liar
Cause in this world all I got is my balls and my word
Like Tony Montana
slowly seizing the world
Im a seasoned vet
You aint really seen me yet
You've seen the rest
Now I'm tryna be deemed the best
Hell Yes...

[Got Life?]

this was a fucking joke...

Q - talk about overkill...this was obviously way more than you needed to win...but umm...wtf was this even about...there were so many random references here that I really can't put my finger on it...and to be honest...I really don't care, but for the sake of the mag breakdowns clue me in when you get a chance.

Tbone - you don't deserve any breakdown for copy and pasting votes, plus there's really nothing to breakdown here...this was probably bitten or taken from somewhere else and loosely adapted to that particular topic.

vote = Q.

[tbone]

Originally Posted by Got Life?

this was a fucking joke...

Q - talk about overkill...this was obviously way more than you needed to win...but umm...wtf was this even about...there were so many random references here that I really can't put my finger on it...and to be honest...I really don't care, but for the sake of the mag breakdowns clue me in when you get a chance.

Tbone - you don't deserve any breakdown for copy and pasting votes, plus there's really nothing to breakdown here...this was probably bitten or taken from somewhere else and loosely adapted to that particular topic.

vote = Q.

Plz don't get me confuse with your doings', I mean its cool that you dropped a vote anyway. But come on, you the last mofo to be talking about copying and pasting anything. Don't let me have to pull up the dirt, I mean really save the out lashed comments and just vote.



"I was simply paying homage to others"-Got Life. After being caught for probably years of other people work, that he posted in and out of leagues.


I'm not the ignorant one here ppl, you all got me fucked up.

[T.a.C]

yo i dont know whatsup with this whole t-bone copy/pasting shit but i gotta say this was a joke

Q- damn bro. this was fire. the rhymes were hot, content was dope it all flowed. this was one of the best verses ive read this week. good job dude. i liked the rhymes a lot. that really stood out to me. and the story was good, not boring at all. damn. good job


T-bone- wow. are you kidding me? you posted AFTER Q, atleast take the time and make sure you had somethin better or atleast something that could compete before posting. please tell me you werent trying. the flow was all over, and the rhymes were shit. im not trying to be a dick here but wooooooooow.


vote- Q

[MC Guttso]

Quriosity - The thing that stood out the most to me was the rhyme scheme, flow and mechanics. Mechanically the style that you wrote in was appealing and maybe the best I've seen this week. However the story went over my head in most parts. I do agree with GotLife? on that one. I didn't understand some of it so I couldn't really connect. You were an alien that blew up the washington monument and caused havoc? My history is shit, but 1920/1930s America after the Wall Street Crash/Great Depression etc..?? Integrated with an alien?? I dunno man. The story was confusing which put me off.

tbone - Well, there was a lack of effort here, no commitment which left you with a mediocre to poor verse. The flow was good, mechanics were ok. Topical about the passion of writing I guess, which is ironic because that is what I saw a lack of. No development, too short and with not much substance.
Clearly

v - Quriosity.

[Narcotics]

t - i dont really dee this as a story ..moreor a topical...more of a keystyle about passion or something....i ges you could call it a topical on that.....the flow was nice..went along smooth for the most part...wasn't real descripitive or anything ..not much multi's...basic skeme....

q - really dug your verse.....good word useage and it a really really descriptive...same with imagery......thats what really stuck out to me in the verse and i really like how you used it...not over doing it but just the right touchjgood use of multi's n a nice skeme to...flow was also on point..





vote...q

[Quriosity]

to avoid further confusion,
Laika was the dog on sputnik2 sent to space by the Russians
follow the link in the title

and i'll edit my votes in here

[Cormier]

well this is another easy vote

tbone- really, no offense, but not much here i liked. i mean it appeared like you didn't really put any time or effort into this for whatever reason and if that's the case then i understand it being the way it is. but the writing was basic, flow wasn't comeplete smooth and the content really did nothing for me. i hope that this was just a week where you had no time.

Q- this was pretty nice. reminded me of my writing actually (only obviously not as good, hehe). the rhymes weren't overly complex but they were crisp and for the most part sounded pretty natural. flow was pretty good too. i was impressed by your natural mechanics. everything just rolled off the tongue pretty nicely. the story was a little eh to me. it was well-told, i'll give you that, but the actual content itself was just decent. not great, but no where near bad either. overall, pretty nice verse though that easily won this.

VOTE= Q

[Atheist]

tbone:
I’m going to ignore the fact that you copied and pasted votes last week, and instead just focus on your writing. All that other discussion can take place in the sticky threads, for this is a match up, and should be deservedly treated as so.

Your verse itself came across incredibly forced and rushed. You really didn’t seem to be bothered with it, or even interested at all. The rhyming was poor, the wording was incredibly simple, and the general feel of the writing was sub standard. I’m very disappointed with it. You showed promise, which I will display in my ‘Favourite Lines’ section. But apart from that, this verse wasn’t appealing and didn’t have anything going for it. Furthermore, as a side note, I found this line incredibly ironic: “Never copped out or copied Cause then I'd be a liar”.

Favourite lines:
I'm not a gangsta
but I still got a gun
It's my tongue and my brain and my pen working as one

Quorisity:
It is obvious, simply from reading your verse, that you did so much more than you needed to in order to win this match up. Your wording was ace, the flow was exceptional, and the general imagery and vibe I got from your verse was tip top. It took me up to the point where you actually mentioned Sputnik by name before I really gathered your point of view and the direction that you were taking this verse in (I didn’t realise the title was a link until AFTER I had finished reading; I guess I should have really clicked it beforehand for the background information). When you mentioned it, however, and with the background information now gathered, everything clicked. I would have preferred if you had have been more discreet about your verse and its intentions, but I do believe it was a difficult topic to approach. Overall, you clearly won this one.

Favourite Lines:
I saw phantoms lurk in the dead of the night
Cities cried, and nations were settled in fright
A troubled time for men returning from war
They left well, only to learn they were poor
But I trotted near curbs of their Hoovervilles
Simply shocked by what they'd do for meals
And how old ladies with rifles would shoot to kill
At any coon caught riding in Coup de Villes


----------------------------------------------------------


Vote: Quioisity.

It was an easy vote, and Q simply brought the better verse, in every aspect, to the match up.

[Lucifa]

meh .. Linxz you're a joker .. don't bother voting .. I'm signing you out ..

[Vern Acular]

q bert...

glad to see you back, no love lost, our past is water under the bridge, anyway as for your verse rhyme scheme and overall mechanics were good as they normally are but as for the story it seemed all over the place, i didn't really get into it it felt like i was colored blind trying to solve a rubix cube, lol, j/k...i got most of it it was just abstract as fuck and seemed like you had no direction

tbone...

so the whole verse well the lack of a verse was all really a contradiction based upon what you were writing, guess you just posted to not lose point with the no-show, but there's no way you could've thought this verse would produce a win...moreless against Q....just didn't like the verse hands down, very elementary

overall...

VOTE - Q