[DF:WK4] Sound vs. prophetional (Vote!)

[TheReturn]

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Down To Business.
This Match-Up is between:
In Rank Order

Sound
Active Worth: 003pts
Vs.
prophetional
Active Worth: 002pts

Good Luck Ladies.
Prove Your Worth

[prophetional]

..alternate..

[Sound]

alternate.

[Sound]

completely forgot.. my bad hombre, i'll catch you the next time.. this all i can offer right now.

No! - the forbidden word is what they would say
as a road paved a way into Satan's gates
and opened a cage of rage & disdainful stage
that led to a rush of blood and a taste of pain
drip, drop, drop, drip, drop
..the blood trickled to the ground as the whip stopped
the crowd watched, uneased, stopped, to plead
as a man's cry forced them all to drop to knees
the whip cracked.. "N*****, tell us the truth
about everything, and it best be relevant too"
he mumbled, knees buckled as he's untied
one thing on his mind - he survived
to recooperate, he will need some time
and to tell them the truth, he will need to lie..
because the truth is plain, but it's safe to say
it'll leave his body with aches & pains like a tooth decay
cause they won't comprehend, it's on nonsense..
he's the sales pitch, and his face is the fineprint..
back to cabin, he lays, awake and afraid
trying to word what he says he will say
they stays so ashamed, they say he's to blame
but he isn't the one that made it this way..
he's stuck in a world, stompin on his fears..
came from a land made of blood, and a continent of tears
so to, face the truth, he explains it to
everyone, even though it's somethin he'll hate to do
"call Massa" - the N***** approached n' faced laughter
he withstood the wrath of the same bastards
that has took him from his home sweet home
it's nothing.. cause its obvious, home he'll go.
let the truth be told - "I'm the cause, perhaps,
would you like to know the reason why I hault to snap?
cause this is what I created, it's all I have
this entire country was built upon & off my back
I'm the truth & the light, let the weepin' begin
God's sent me from above - I'm the leader of men."

[prophetional]

Bloody Knuckles

blurred sounds vibrating pain aching my brain
my mind racing fine tracing tryna find the remains
time slowed for a moment then on time like a train
the blood boil raged, red, jaw bone is enflamed,
the last thing that i remember finished watchin the game
i threw a couple down, fame cats remember my name
and all the same, another day, another dollar we made
and now my crown came down, and teh sound that it made
was somethin' sorta like a watermelon meets a grenade
the rain sprayed, through a window saw the face that he made
just right before his face went through the window
boy he was brave
starin is his glossy eyes and saw he made a mistake
but now he's payin' for his arrogance and yeah he did pay
with no defense could see the dent from where the headbutt was laid
droppin bombs, left right, thats when they pulled me away.
that's right, the night was crazy way it happened that way.
that stupid faggot sucker punched me and i blew him away
my tooth aches, hands swollen, i do it that way?
now let me grab a tylenol get the head ache away...


sorry, last minute key...

[Sound]

votes.

1. [DF:WK4] Cormier vs. MC Guttso (Vote!)

2. [DF:WK4] Bonnie Bathory vs. Lucifa (Vote!)

[Atheist]

Sound:
This verse was okay. It seemed incredibly rushed, which is what you were explaining in your sentence before the verse. However, due to how rushed it seemed, the verse, in my opinion, was staggered; I had to re-read some lines to get the general gist. And that’s on top of the fact that the wording was very simplistic throughout. The ending just seemed to be thrown together as well, which is a shame, as it was a good idea of wrapping up your verse. You could have really developed it into a better story, but as you mentioned, you simply didn’t have the time. However, I think you should come back to this idea in the future and develop it further because it has promise and potential.

Favourite lines:
they stays so ashamed, they say he's to blame
but he isn't the one that made it this way..
he's stuck in a world, stompin on his fears..
came from a land made of blood, and a continent of tears

Prophetional:
With Sound’s lack of time, I thought you were going to drop a killer verse that would finish him off in an instant. However, it seems that you too didn’t have the time and therefore had to rush something as well. Your story of a street fight was very uninteresting, and in all actuality, boring. Due to the lack of story, you were relying on the descriptions and imagery to get you by, but these too were lacklustre. I don’t have anything else to say.

Favourite Lines:
and now my crown came down, and teh sound that it made
was somethin' sorta like a watermelon meets a grenade


-------------------------------------------------------------


Vote: Sound.
Overall, I’m very disappointed with this match up. You both dropped quick verses to simply avoid the no show, and this therefore resulted in a boring match up. Sound had the better verse, simply because of the ending. However, neither verse was even average. The first match I voted on was a real good way to start my readings for the week (Source4rhymes vs. Shrug) and I estimated that it would set the tone for the battles that followed. However, this current one between you guys was disappointing. Please have the time to drop properly worked upon verses next week.

[Got Life?]

you guys would have prolly been better off taking an extension, but yea...

Sound - I really wish that you had developed this more because it could be an emotional and at the same time moving topic...the way you executed it however it came off rushed with lapses throughout as the piece was shaky throughout.

Proph - I realize you threw this together last minute and I'm sure you also realize why because of that this piece really offered nothing...that slight scene you depicted was decent at best, but there was no build up or aftermath really, just a random incident.

vote = Sound for having a more complete piece.

Get focused for next week guys.

[Cormier]

alright:

Sound- alrigh so you rushed this, and it shows immensely. the wording, the flow, the rhyme, jsut about everything was choppy and off at times. the story itself also could have used some more developing. had you had enough time i think this could have been a pretty nice piece, but with what you had time for this obviously really isn't anything special.

Prophetional- well, the description of the incident wasn't bad. some decent imagery and i thought the writing itself was a little better than Sound's. not by much, but a little better. however, there really wasn't anything to this story. no development. no before and after, just this one fight. i would have liked to see what you would have done if you had devoted the proper amount of time to this piece, but with what you have there i have to give my vote to Sound.

VOTE= Sound

[T.a.C]

sound- you came with more lines than prophetioinal did but i still felt your verse was underdeveloped. i understand you just dropped to avoid the no-show which is cool. the wording was simple, overall just not a very good showing, but like i said it was a last minute thing and im not gonna judge you on a keystyle. i did really like the first 4 bars to your verse.

prophetional- wow this one was extremely short. like i said to sound im not gonna judge you on a keystyle. you too had a pretty dope opening 4 bars. while reading your verse i kept finding myself drifting off. not an interesting read at all. and to close your verse with "away, way, away, way, away" was pretty weak.

vote- sound wins the battle of the keystyles. he just had more bars and they were a little better developed.

[MC Guttso]

Sound - The flow and rhyme scheme started off well, I was diggin it - but I have to say it faltered in the middle. I can tell it was rushed. Your wording seemed sloppy and all over the place. And I felt that your story needed more substance and development. However on a positive note the rhyme scheme was kept fairly nice/ok throughout.

prophetional - I preferred your verse more, it had a smoother more consistent flow throughout I felt. Your mechanics were on par with Sounds, although unfinished I enjoyed the material and descriptiveness of your verse more, and saw what you were trying to portray, it just really needed more development. On that note I thought Sound's verse equally needed more development, more emotion, more imagery....

Overall I'm disappointed with this battle due to the lack of effort put into it. I definitely know that neither of you reached your full potential...I know you can do better than that!!

v - prophetional

[Vern Acular]

sound....

this was pretty good for being rushed im assuming per your opening statement, but besides that i thought this was decent as i read i wasn't to impressed with where it was going being i've read many pieces similar to this one but the picture brought it all together...to an extent...the whole story had a vibe of the past yet the picture portrayed the present...so the jump from then to now was too abrupt for me, but all and all it was cool, the rhyme scheme was simplistic and your mechanics were lackluster, but i'd say this was an avearage piece

phrophetional...

well to be honest i feel if you actually spent more time on this it could've been fire, the imagery was good in parts and the writers voice was good at the start then it seemed to bungy jump off the page i could tell you were rushing to just hurry up and finish, so it's kind of hard to critique this completely considering the verse was incomplete, but from what it startedit as it could've been good, but you came up short and for that my vote goes to sound...so


VOTE - SOUND

[Quriosity]

Sound wins, 5-1