[DF:WK4] DaAlmightyDolla vs. nom de plume. (Vote!)

[TheReturn]

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Down To Business.
This Match-Up is between:
In Rank Order

DaAlmightyDolla
Active Worth: 006pts
Vs.
nom de plume.
Active Worth: 006pts

Good Luck Ladies.
Prove Your Worth

[DaAlmightyDolla]

theres a beer in it 4 u if u take a dive....

[DF:WK4] Blue Championship: TheReturn vs. .:Pain:. (Vote!)
[DF:WK4] Blue Contendership: Atheist vs. _KDP_ (Vote!)
[DF:WK4] Red Championship: Scatterboxx vs. Got Life? (Vote!)
[DF:WK4] Red Contendership: Vern Acular vs. Saga (Vote!)
[DF:WK4] Jimmy Eles vs. RICO (Vote!)

[nom de plume.]

make it a bottle of gin and i'll dive for gold.

p.s. in / alternate.

[DaAlmightyDolla]

I inhaled her perfect fume under the crescent moon
as our bodies harmonized to the rhythm of a pleasant tune
while we walked gingerly back to her room...
I took the chance to asked if it was true..
thats theres something special between us 2,
that she longed for the same things my dreams were made of
fucking wasn't part of her dictionary,
but she had no problem if we made love
so I introduced myself to the make up...
that occupied her cherry lips
the type you could paint the town red with
it was hit or miss cuz it was our first kiss
my eyes were closed...
yet we were both open
we were both copping with 2 hearts broken..
by a lover prior to each other
so we're hoping as we lay under these covers
that we will never need another..
to satisfy our hopes and dreams
I pulled the shade to disrupt the moons beams
cuz her face still gleams..
thanks to the candle lit on her end table
I was more than willing and able
of revealing Victoria's secret,
even without reading the label
and thats what I did when I removed her black brassiere
I looked deep in here eyes and told her..
"Theres no going back from here"
she said "its fine" and put her hand between my legs
I felt the juice dripping down to her satin bed spread
about 10 minutes passed by and no words were said
until she asked if I was ready...
thats when I just nodded my head
she lifted up my skirt and her lips met mine
it felt so wrong yet so right at the same time
it was my first time with another woman....
so of course I was scared
especially when Victoria would only come up for air
then all of a sudden she stopped and I was a little upset
until she stood up and got fully undress
her beauty was untarnished
her sexiness unmatched
my mouth fell to the floor ...
as if it was unhatched
then she laid on her back spread eagle
I was the shyest of all people
I thought to myself..
"Is this even legal. Its at least a sin"
but I had to repay the favor,
so I hopped right in..
to the wonders of her passion fruit
but unlike me, she did not remain mute
as she moaned like the dirtiest of vixens
my legs were dampened the more I listened..
to those glorious words that made my legs glisten
my confidence grew
so I decided to test the line
as I asked if we could try 69
she replied with "not a problem,
Do u prefer top or bottom?"
but before I could answer, my phone rang
out of all people, it was my ex man
Vicky took the phone straight out of my left hand
set it to vibrate and placed it on my clit
then said
"Now the next time he calls, he could finally work it"

"Now where were we"

[nom de plume.]

of course.
i'll probably edit verse in here.

heh, i'll need it too.

[nom de plume.]

''Lucifer's Halo''

1.
My planted tree grew
With branches of barbed wire
My voice rose
With the quirks of a parched choir
Lost in this dark quiet
I was seen as a starved tyrant
Shamed songs sung by stark sirens
Emotions as cask lightning
Turbulent seas with sharks biting
I cover the skies in starred writing
Breathe belief in beggars and thieves
Who hold a heaven that bleeds
Lace my palm with gold
And be the terror for me
A mirror that sees an earth broken
I’ll take winged steps
Away from a burnt token
Of hope, absurd words spoken

2.
I walked him down stone steps
Sloped such as to elicit a slow breath
After killing a known threat
A crow’s threat
A closed debt
A known thread connecting our tales
I let him cloud walk
A breath in his sails
Permitting death to the frail
Every word, I set it in brail
My trail was well worn
A god amongst heroes
Strangled with hells scorn
I spoke of love with a clear soul
They couldn’t see if his tears flowed
Or if his fear showed
A clear stone drop in the ocean
I walked him fearlessly
Just another rock for the broken

3.
A fleet footed saviour to thieves
Who are braver than me
Speak in the wit of poets
Who aren’t strangers to deeds
Done, undone, by the will of man
Strayed by a villains hand
They say this figures damned
To be the timid stand
That the village plan against tyranny
My vision bleeds to hold my children close
A stolen ghost
A broken hope
With prose thats groping for meaning
Known for token proceedings
With a rose in my teeth
A sobering scene
As close as it needs to be now
Delilahs heart broke when he breathed out
Made it seem like a dreamed cloud

I’m hermes.
God of thieves and poets.

[Eye-Rime]

DAD, by now you should be mechanically sound and it pains me to see that you are the exact opposite, your syllables are still off in numerous locations and you still have spelling/grammatical issues, i consider you a veteran in this league for some odd reason because realistically you're only a veteran at losing, anyway, started off well until the 'asked if it was true' line, 'thats theres' threw me off as well, content wise i guess its still intact though, 'copping' which i assume was meant to be read as coping also threw me off, 'moons beams' threw me off which should have been moon beams or moon's beams, either way it was a weird line, the victoria secret's thing was cliche imagery, the felt so right but wrong was a bit cliche, the 'is this legal' was only there because it rhymed, somewhat unnatural like why would any grown man question if having sex was legal?, the legs dampen had me like wtf until you unveiled that it was a woman which really did nothing to save the actual story, and the cellphone next to the clit ending was bad imo, i always seem to critique you harshly DAD but you've got to be the worst experienced writer left (excluding RICO), overall this was semi-decent, would have been quick read seeing as how you didn't cover much ground if it weren't for all the hiccups in spelling/grammar and flow, the story itself was cheap and offered little to the reader, you never really developed an actual story but covered a cliche love scene that was hardly intimate for me as a reader and then the whole big shabang was that it was actually a lesbian love scene, a failure but good shot

nom, this was done fairly well, overall the writing was at a level much higher than DAD's which somewhat ensured victory from the beginning, overall though this was beatable, a good poetic vibe for a pretty good story but i felt cheated come the end because out of this entire match i feel like i'm leaving with nothing, i've seen you come better and i've seen you come worse and though this was more than enough to win i wish you could have done more, at the same time however i'm content with what you did, you ventured new ground and this was fresh in concept and written well, the cask lightning threw me off but besides that it was a pretty straightforward read

overall i think this match was only rewarding on one side, DAD.. you really need to brush up on your mechanics, though simple spelling and grammatical mistakes won't hurt a good story, it will disrupt the reader which will sometimes distort the opinion given, also i found other errs in your structure that i didn't like such as how you sporadically broke up lines with no real logic, the story could have worked here with more development and a more convincing love scene but still the whole underlying theme is cliche and has been overused and the big unveiling at the end is rather cheap no matter how well flipped when the only ground covered is the actual love scene, nom.. your piece was fulfilling and at the same time it wasn't, like i thoroughly enjoyed it but it also was hardly a complete story, i don't know how to explain it, mixed feelings i suppose but overall it was done well and refreshing somewhat and i enjoyed it

i guess i'm rambling now, i'm voting in between helping customers at work so i'm afraid i may have repeated myself or been unclear, but anyway, nom wins

[Lucifa]

DaD - I found some enjoyment from reading this piece .. it was slightly spoilt by so many issues with your grammatical errors .. which meant re-reading or deciphering some lines and that interferes with the fluidity of the read .. the flow in general was pretty solid for me outside of the aforementioned re-reads .. the story was not so much a 'story' just rather a 'scene' and some parts worked better than others .. the problem I had though was that when you're describing a single scene you should really go to town on visuals .. and this just didn't do enough on that front for me .. especially since the subject matter lends itself to a lot of imagery and descriptive work .. potential for an R rated verse that really would have pushed the voters here .. but it came off as a softcore B movie .. not bad .. but lacking ..

nom - I don't know what to say tbh with you mate .. I liked poetic tone to the piece and the word selection throughout was pretty good .. I just felt it lacked some colleration to really give the reader enough information to understand what it was all about .. the writing was the better of these 2 verses and certain mechanical areas were probably working in your favour .. I just wasn't overly convinced by the content itself in concept ..

this match-up is hard to vote in a way .. as I felt nom had the better of the 2 verses but at the same time DaD's was obviously easier to understand/follow .. but ..

Vote = nom de plume. .. I don't see it quite as clear cut as Q found it .. but I do agree that nom 'wrote' a better verse .. a verse that makes you think (maybe a bit too much) and displayed solid poetics .. DaD needed to give more IMO ..

[Atheist]

DaAlmightyDolla:
Hahaha, this was a pretty humorous verse. The descriptions of the sex were pretty top notch, and the general conversational areas were expertly written, with the final line being the main example of this. I enjoyed the twist of it being two women as it gave you another angle to write from (instead of the man loving the woman bullshit that we have all become pretty much accustomed to now). So in that regard, this was an enjoyable read, and one you clearly had a bit of fun with when writing. Furthermore, I also really enjoyed your wording here; a great example to other writers on how to write properly. However, my only main complaint was the flow; it was choppy and staggered as hell throughout the whole verse. It was so bumpy and really messed with the fluidity of the read. Yet, apart from that, it was a good piece of work.

Favourite lines:
so I introduced myself to the make up...
that occupied her cherry lips
the type you could paint the town red with
it was hit or miss cuz it was our first kiss
my eyes were closed...
yet we were both open
we were both copping with 2 hearts broken..

nom de plume:
This piece was incredibly poetic, and I loved how you broke the verse up into three segments, and kept highlighting this fact by using phrases such as ‘broken’ and ‘undone’ in each segment. It was both a visual and linguistic approach that really came off well. Furthermore, as it had that poetical feel, the wording was, in one word, tremendous. From start to finish, I just loved reading this piece and the way your words brought the images vividly to my mind. Finally, the story itself was great, and I always love when I read a verse that is based on Greek mythology. Personally, I have always wanted to write a piece about Hermes, but it looks like my idea must be shelved for the foreseeable future. Thanks for that, lol.

Favourite Lines:
I let him cloud walk
A breath in his sails
Permitting death to the frail
Every word, I set it in brail
My trail was well worn
A god amongst heroes
Strangled with hells scorn
I spoke of love with a clear soul
They couldn’t see if his tears flowed
Or if his fear showed
A clear stone drop in the ocean
I walked him fearlessly
Just another rock for the broken


---------------------------------------------------------------


Vote: Nom de plume

You are rapidly becoming one of my favourite writers in this league, and I really do look forward to reading your verses. This week was much the same, whereby you dropped an elegantly written verse about Hermes, the Greek God of boundaries, travellers, thieves and much more. DaAlmightyDolla has impressed me with both of the verses I have seen from him, but it is just a pity that so far he has come up against such strong opposition. Great match up, guys, and one that I thoroughly enjoyed reading.

[Scatterboxx]

dad.
better verse than usual. that's certainly true. you're a good writer, but it seems difficult for me to call you "great". your verse was way better than usual, as i said, which was nice. & i've been saying that a lot lately, so kudos for the improvement. while your mechanics were solid, they were nothing exceedingly genius. the flow was okay... it worked. & the rhyme scheme was relatively basic... but worked. still, nothing gripped me about your writing. & with that said, nor your story. it was told a bit blandly, & lacked the entertainment & gripping emotion it needed to be "great". your linguistics could have been a bit more advanced. still, this was nothing nearly as good as nom's.

nom.
i liked this a lot. far better drop than your usual. which is typically damn good. there's a lot who don't like your way-poetic style, but i love it. your ability to use words is fantastic. & your rhyme scheme, as usual, was naturally worded, yet complex & fulfilling in its own right. the flow was ridiculously on. i tend to typically find your verses a bit awkward to rhythmically flow steadily [weird way to say it], but this one was different. the ending was fantastic. & the topical/story mesh- well narrated.

vote- nom.
overall better verse.

[MC Guttso]

DaAlmightDolla - I thought this verse was great. Nice twist at the end. And I reckon you encaptured the situation well, with some good imagery and a bit of humour thrown in. Despite what others said about spelling mistakes - I thought your wording was good and didn't see much of a problem with your vocabulary...Enjoyable and fun to read.

Nom de plume - I liked it. Antithesis of DaAlmightDolla's...it was heavy and very poetic once again. Not bad. The flow was nice, and I feel this style works well with you. Sometimes your stuff speaks in volumes, without actually saying much, if you get what I'm trying to say?? lol. The rhyming and mechanics were also above par.

v - DaAlmightDolla - I just enjoyed this read a little more.

[Vern Acular]

dad...

this was great, i really enjoyed it beginning to end, i enjoyed how you left the closing for the open mind to continue, but my favorite part was i had no idea it was another woman until BAM and from there on I was hooked, the mechanics weren't perfect but the were good, the imagery was there and made for a nice erotic bedtime story, lol...good job

nom...

wow...mechanically this was perfect the poetic style of it gave character and i just really enjoyed the way it was written, as for the subject matter, it was good and i liked the direction you went with it, i just honestly didn't get into that much, im just not one for these types of pieces, but in terms of the verse it self and the way it was written i loved it, good job to you as well

overall...

wow defiantely a contrast in styles two totally different topics, on one side the mechanics were better with nom, but on the other hand i liked dads story better....hmm...this is tough, but i have to vote and im going with dad, i just liked the verse better it was more interesting, not taking NOTHING away from nom cause you had a great verse it's just personal preference, but it could go either weay so with that siad.... VOTE - DAD

[_KDP_]

talk about attacking from different angles. da almighty dolla writes with the style i prefer, i have to admit it's kind of hard for me to get into the true poetry reads. however nom's piece was so well written i was actually able to get into this one.

DAD-i liked the angle u took in this piece. had it's humorous twist at the end. good descriptionsof the sex scenes, convo was realistically laid out, as well as the introspect into the emotions of it. well written, if not deep, piece.

nom - your mechanics were hella nice in this piece. the read was off just because i read with a rap beat in my head and yours didnt allow me to flow it very well. content wise it was cool, but it didnt really jump out at me as a worthwhile concept. just a personal taste i guess

vote-DAD

[Quriosity]

Nom de plume wins, 4-3