[DF:WK4] Bonnie Bathory vs. Lucifa (Vote!)

[TheReturn]

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Down To Business.
This Match-Up is between:
In Rank Order

Bonnie Bathory
Active Worth: 008pts
Vs.
Lucifa
Active Worth: 007pts

Good Luck Ladies.
Prove Your Worth

[Lucifa]

alternate.


Votes:

[DF:WK4] Blue Championship: TheReturn vs. .:Pain:. (Vote!)
[DF:WK4] Red Championship: Scatterboxx vs. Got Life? (Vote!)
[DF:WK4] Red Contendership: Vern Acular vs. Saga (Vote!)
[DF:WK4] Blue Contendership: Atheist vs. _KDP_ (Vote!)
[DF:WK4] DaAlmightyDolla vs. nom de plume. (Vote!)

[Bonnie Bathory]

howdy friend/fam alternate

[Lucifa]

Sorry Bonnie .. some shit has come up that means I will be pretty absent for a while .. I started something yesterday and don't think I'll be able to finish in time .. here's what I got already so atleast you can get feeback .. sorry boo ..

Umbilical Noose

She went in to labour with timing ever crucial
three hours later - high from the epidural
red faced and sweating while pushing with aggro
as that heavy petting from nine months ago
that led to her bedsit, was paying its toll
with the pain that she felt slaying her soul
"the drugs aren't working, it hurts like hell"
her pussy's hurting and starts to swell
"Tina, one more push, we can see the head"
her face all flushed as she grips the bed
squeezed the pressure and gave birth to a girl
"she's so precious, I will call her Pearl"
..[5 years later]..
As Pearl bathed in water that softened her skin
Tina gazed at her daughter as so often she did
watched her wash her hair and dried her eyes
she was always there, she never left her side

[Bonnie Bathory]

k if its like that i just wrote somethin real quick for the sake of the early posting point

Dead of the Night

It’s 4AM, I’m alone again, drunk on rum and gin
He’s texting, he wants to bone and Im at home in bed
My “Hypnotize” ringtone is getting old for me
He’s been blowin up my phone since a quarter before 3
I suppose some company could do me right tonight,
Plus he’ll do me right, He’s just the type to fuck me how I like
Sayin I’m his kryptonite, he like’s em white with bootys
But truthfully it’s the dead of night & he just wanna use me
But that’s alright cuz I call him daddy for a reason
He keeps me actin right and I’m never gonna leave him
So I grab my keys and breeze out, take the easy route
Backroads avoidin lights because the cheese is out
Cuz believe I’m leanin, and when I seen them reds & blues
I was like head be cool you’ll get away don’t start trippin fool
I was like officer how can I be of some assistance
Hand on his gun when he saw me, cuffs on my wrists within minutes
Thrown in a cell with the thinnest chicks, itchin for their needles
Sweet lookin blonde girl getting stared at by these people
I start to spit shit like it was some county property blues
Real properly too, they listen and clap and even offer me food
Thrown in solitary for conspiracy to smuggle commissary
They never suspect blondes to voluntarily con and carry
So I’m sittin proud in lock down just spittin loud
Lights on in the dead of night and I’m puttin writtens down
Off my head, and its tight and I’m wishin these 4 months would finish
Bein by myself is gettin to me, and that’s just how I got in this
I suppose I’ll never learn

[MC Guttso]

Awesome another early one to vote on:

Lucifa - This had potential to be a real good verse. Very descriptive and imagery conveying. You've got me intrigued now as to what happens next. If things ease off and you ever get a chance to finish it - I'll have to check it out. And I'm writing a bit more to make up the line count I'm sure ya don't mind. I'll give you proper feedback when you write a proper verse! lol.

Bonnie - Quality again actually. Got drunk. Had a booty call, so decided to drink drive for it. Stopped by cops. Prison. I could really appreciate this storyline and the way you described it was ace. Real life essence. And the flow was awesome, multis were good and as a matter of fact the best I've read from you yet, despite it being short. Your verses seem to have a simple to follow elegance to them. You say you rushed it, but I thought it was alright.

v - Bonnie

[Narcotics]

lucifer-could of been a really dope verse..i was gettin into it...nice imagery...flowed good...but it's unfinished...i would of liked to read a finished product cause it seemed like it would of been a really hot piece...but oh well...good luck with watever u gotta handle...

bonnie - nice flow...short and sweet..since it was so short you didn't really develop the story line ...just got right to the point...good story though...i really dug it...you also had some good imagery .....good use of multi's in some parts...had alot of mid bars which i liked.....overall a nice verse....

vote bonnie

[Got Life?]

Lucy - I was expecting something good out of you this week and this definitely showed signs of that, but I can understand whatever personal shit came up...you've been a trooper thus far...the imagery here was pretty good and the dialogue was solid...try to stay away from the whole "5 years later" type of shit though...it's not a very good transition and there's much better ways of progressing a piece with rhymes.

Bonnie - meh...I mean you knew what you had to do to get the win here, it's not like Lucy put up a fight, but this was decent...nothing really beyond that...it was probably one of your least quality pieces i've read from you, but then again this didn't really call for much more.

vote = Bonnie.

[.:Pain:.]

Luc - The flow in the last four bars was impeccible, it went perfectly to the beat I was spittin' it to, the rest of the verse was kinda here and there. The concept was cool, relatable, obviously I would've liked to see you develop it more, but you definitely had a good thing going here. You should just wrote like 16 more bars and you woulda had a great little down to earth verse. Overall, mechanics were good in the last 4 bars, the story had somethin' to it, you know why you fucked up here.

Bonnie - I hate your flow with a passion. Why can't you just put on a beat when you write and have some semblence of rap rhythm? The thing I hate even more is that I love your content, and if you just mainted the rhyme scheme you have when it's dope, and have rhythm in your verse, you might just be my favorite writer. Your imagery is always dope, and your content is always cool and relatable. I think you've been in match ups that favor your style heavily these past two weeks, if you go up against someone like Inf or Sac though, you might be in big trouble. Don't be so cocky as to think you have no room for improvement, even GL? will admit he does, I know I do, that's why I tried to incorporate more imagery in this weeks verse. I REALLY would like to see you take a more mechanical approach to your verses, because if you did, I honestly think you would be unstoppable in this league.

Vote - Bonnie...

[Cormier]

well this is unfortunate, i was oping for a dope battle when i clicked on the link, but oh well, stuff happens sometimes.

Lucifa- obviously, as you stated in your post, you know that what you posted isn't going to win. admirable to post something though i guess. flow and rhyme were both on and off. you were setting up a piece that could have been a nice heartfelt and emotional verse, but obviously you couldn't put enough time in to do so.

Bonnie- again, obviously you also did not put much time into your verse fter seeing what lucifa posted and i will not fault you for that. the writing itself was subpar. i liked how you brought everything full circle with the ending, but other than that the story was bland. but, as i said, this wasn't a very serious post, you just did enough to get the win.

VOTE= Bonnie

[TeKneeK]

bonnie loves me.

[Lucifa]

Yeah .. real sorry Bonnie .. wanted to give you a good match-up ..

for what it's worth .. my verse was going to be about a pushy mother with the daughter not living up to expectations and such and such .. had a real good feeling when I started it .. but some shit kicked off and I had people bricking my windows and kicking my front door and threatening my son and other shit like that .. so I've moved all my stuff out to my mum's house (using her laptop at mo) before all that shit comes back to haunt those cunts .. big mistake threatening my son but I don't wanna be living there in the line of a back-n-forth thing .. so I'm getting gone and then the shit is gonna hit the fan ..

I need to set my pc up at some point this weekend at my mum's whilst I find a new place to live .. so I will be in back in business next week and will use this laptop to get my votes in when I get another chance this week .. far from skanking on the league .. but I had to sort that shit out fast .. cos my people are fucking crazy and I need to be gone before they start terrorising those muppets ..

[Sound]

Lucifa - yeah.. you didn't bring it this week for obvious reasons.. don't think i'm rubbing it in or anything, just i'm going out of town tomorrow for a while and i'ma have to get these links in, so this is what i'm havin to do. you started off nice though, like for real, and i'm sure it woulda been nice through out, but, you know..

Bonnie - yeah.. you did just enough to grab the W. i don't really have much feedback to leave, both verses speak for themselves and it's obvious this battle would've been much better if both would have had the time to put forth the valid effort.

v/ Bonnie Bathory.

[Atheist]

Lucifa:
I understand that you had to rush a verse due to personal reasons, therefore I am not going to critique your piece too much. I’ll just say a couple of general things. Firstly, the wording and flow was great, my only complaint was the inclusion of the word “pussy”. It’s difficult to describe the sexual organs seriously, that’s why I think it’s simply better to hint at them because it really improves the worth of the writing.. But that’s only a minor thing. Secondly, the story itself was quite interesting, and hopefully some day I will get to read the completed version. So keep that in mind, Lucifa.

Favourite lines:
As Pearl bathed in water that softened her skin
Tina gazed at her daughter as so often she did
watched her wash her hair and dried her eyes
she was always there, she never left her side

Bonnie Bathory:
It’s clear from reading your verse that you have won this, but still, I feel obliged to drop a couple of notes about your verse. Firstly, I really enjoyed the circularity that you had in your verse, which was epitomised in the penultimate line, “Bein by myself is gettin to me, and that’s just how I got in this”. It added a slightly humorous element to your verse. Secondly, the descriptions throughout were pretty much on point and I enjoyed how you described the scenes, especially the one in the beginning of you at home. Finally, the flow and wording were all tip top, so I don’t really need to expand on that.

Favourite Lines:
But that’s alright cuz I call him daddy for a reason
He keeps me actin right and I’m never gonna leave him
So I grab my keys and breeze out, take the easy route
Backroads avoidin lights because the cheese is out
Cuz believe I’m leanin, and when I seen them reds & blues
I was like head be cool you’ll get away don’t start trippin fool
I was like officer how can I be of some assistance
Hand on his gun when he saw me, cuffs on my wrists within minutes


-----------------------------------------------------------------------


Vote: Bonnie Bathory.

She did what she needed to to win this match up. Simple as.

[T.a.C]

wow for being a short battle this was pretty good

Lucifa- what you did put down was pretty dope. i think if you had had more time and were able to develope your verse this could have been something really good. possibly could have gotten you the win, but its cool, everyone has those weeks where they dont have time to do it. nice verse tho

bonnie- damn. did enough to win, but i liked this story truth be told. it was easy to follow, kept my attention. i dont see what was wrong with the flow, i liked it. i guess it just depends how you read it. i found it funny how your person goes to jail and she just starts rapping.

vote- bonnie. both verses were tight, just felt hers more.

[Source4rhymes]

stopped by to peep unaware of Luci's problems.
VOTE=Bonnie

but its like everyone said as well, i saw the potential in what couldve been for lucifas verse..but bonnie did step correct and her verse was on point.