[DF:WK3] .:Pain:. vs. MC Guttso (VOTE NOW!)

[TheReturn]

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Down To Business.
This Match-Up is between:
In Rank Order

.:Pain:.
Active Worth: 006pts
Vs.
MC Guttso
Active Worth: 004pts

Good Luck Ladies.
Prove Your Worth

[MC Guttso]

alternate aaand check....

Votage:
1.[DF:WK3] 3-Planes vs. _KDP_ (VOTE NOW!)
2.[DF:WK3] Saga vs. Jimmy Eles (VOTE NOW!)
3.[DF:WK3] DaAlmightyDolla vs. TheReturn (VOTE NOW!)
4.[DF:WK3] Scatterboxx vs. Lucifa (VOTE NOW!)
5.[DF:WK3] prophetional vs. Cormier (VOTE NOW!)
6.[DF:WK3] Got Life? vs. Bonnie Bathory (VOTE NOW!)
7.[DF:WK3] T.a.C vs. -Atreyu- (VOTE NOW!)
8.[DF:WK3] nom de plume. vs. tbone (VOTE NOW!)
9.[DF:WK3] Atheist vs Sound vs RICO (VOTE NOW!)
10.[DF:WK3] Strike2 vs. MetaSin (VOTE NOW!)
11.[DF:WK3] DeadKing vs. Vern Acular (VOTE NOW!)

[MC Guttso]

Lovers and Demons

Young, naïve, they learn love lessons –
Do they believe in their dreams of affection,
Passionate questions, blurred dimensions -
Sweet nothings in the ear to mention,
They’ve made the ultimate connection,
Even a detection of their parent’s blessing

Confessing feelings that ignite in the night,
Washing up; pillow and soap sud fights,
Same old walk whether it be dark or light,
They were once happy to confide
Coz their advice made them feel alright

In hindsight, they were built on shaky foundations,
He made deranged creations of sweet situations,
Believed in fairy tales and Christmas decorations,
Confabulations of kindness with material demonstrations

Immense suffocation – like countless meals on the wine and dine,
Jealous crimes, he would moan if she didn’t ring by nine,
A silver diamond necklace for Valentine’s,
Had it thoughtfully inscribed Angel Eyes,
Surprised...she threw it back walked off and cried,
In her heart she knew she’d love him ‘til the end of time,
But when her soul man came by, her world would die,
Looking up at the sky, she prays for more, she wishes to fly

She gazed through the mirror at her own reflection,
Wanting an untainted connection, full of perfection,
This match just didn’t cut it for her choice of election,
Satisfied physically, admired his emotional complexion,
But she lied an’ got high with others, to cause tension,
Broke his heart put his life on a string of suspension

Nowadays she’s drained, and walks around with caution,
Careful not to say or talk about the baby and the abortion,
A strange and lonely mind full of contortion,
Reaches for the sleeping pills, a massive portion

To lay at rest this head, full of confusion, delusions and illusions,
She lays lifeless and thankful in her concoction of pollution

He thinks he’s crazy, fed up and through with it
He’s sure someone must’ve fucked up Cupid,
In drunken stupors, body full of toxic fluid,
Thoughts lack a clear clarity far from lucid,
Fucking stupid, angry at her hurtful behaviour,
He loved her, she said he was her saviour,
Still craves her, despite the nasty flavour,
Sits and sobs, all he can do is blame her,
Drinks himself to death, via liver failure

Their bond was surely directed by demons or Satan,
No dreams of charming knights or fine fair maidens,
Angels attempted blatant equations to save them,
Living in a dead limbo together, with no safe havens

With empty hearts and white blanketed faces,
Living out their eternal life throughout the ages…

"

If you can't obtain what you dream, then you had better change what you dream."
-Winston Churchill

[.:Pain:.]

Having problems writing for the league, so I'm just gonna drop one of the personal pieces I wrote this week. Sorry Guttso, tried writin' stories (cuz you faggots hate topicals), but just couldn't.

She was too damn cute, she was too damn sweet,
She was too damn blue, she's a Sudan sea,
She made me wonder bout you and me,
Whether we can make it through the drought or we're doomed standing...

...But I stand, man of sands, can't decide,
As I look through these panda eyes,
Black skies, and blue dye stains the glass,
On which we paint the acts of our love, rearrange the past,
I was taken back,
Cuz everytime that we kiss, she would taste of ash,
From the fire that we felt in the days that passed,
And I don't wanna feel like I'm takin' space, like I rape to chase
fate, change the path, love you so much,
That's why it sucks to go nuts, from lust that flows from
the cusp of soul love, the rush, that close touch,
I'm accustomed to touchin' yours, love,
That's why these hands feel empty,
I'm feelin' pens,
I saw her heart and was tempted to steal again,
That ex that left me alone,
That friend that sent me to home,
I saw her again, with the friendliest pose,
Hand on her hip, and sexually known,
She gave a wink and smile, and fluttering kiss,
That floated through the air till it smothered my lips,
So I sat there, trapped, scared, wondering if,
I cheated on you, would it crumble us quick?
I felt demons all through my body, and I stopped,
As I crept closer to the lobby of my want,
I just wanted a kiss, I just wanted a tongue,
I just wanted freaky sex with the woman I love,
And you didn't reciprocate, and now I deliberate,
Whether to get some head from my ex that would give me brain,
I mean, you're cuter than her, you're movements are worth,
All the money in the world, plus rubies for sure,
And I said I'd never cheat, and I'm true to my word,
But you said I'd never have reason to be the herb,
Instead, you're sleepin' and I'm up writin' this,
Realizin' that I only got one life to live,
And this night will never be fulfilled,
Tomorrow I could die, and regret never reachin' that full thrill,
And she's right here, she's willin' and able,
Her mouth, down south, gives me chills, I'm not stable,
But tonight, tonight, sex is still just fable,
My insatiable appetite might kill me, my sable,
I'm a sex addict, I need it, I need to release it,
And if you can't help me then I need to be leavin',
Cuz when we have sex, I'm stuck up in heaven,
But if you're gonna stop, then fuck it, forget it,
And you know by now that I'll love you forever,
But I need to be intimate to be comfortable, get it?

[MC Guttso]

No problem dude. Solid verse man. Good luck.

[Got Life?]

guttso - I felt very detached from this piece...it was like nothing really connected on one end or the other...it just kind of stumbled around with one event or another brought in, but your writers voice never sucked me into the turmoil and all the chaos that was supposedly going on...also the whole rhyme scheme you used for the most part was rather dull and pretty forced throughout the entire read...I unno...I didn't really take much away from this and I felt that it didn't connect with the quote all that well.

pain - write what you want to write homie...if it's a good topical it'll still get the merit it deserves...since when did you care about votes anyway homie? beside all that, I thought this flowed smooth as fuck and your writers voice just really carried the piece...you could definitely relate to the character..."you"...about the thoughts he's going through and the situation that he's in.

vote = Pain.

I felt his verse was more enjoyable and just something that resonated better with me.

[prophetional]

money over bitches!!!

i liked both of these verses, could relate to what both writers were trying to portray.

gutso- i liked the flow, and i like the abstract start to your verse and how it came together as it flowed on to reveal the story of two lovers falling out of love... the struggles of the relationship, deciet, the heart break. i liked your rhyme schemes too, good word usage i thought and this right here got me deep on a personal note;

...Nowadays she’s drained, and walks around with caution,
Careful not to say or talk about the baby and the abortion,
A strange and lonely mind full of contortion,
Reaches for the sleeping pills, a massive portion
...
He thinks he’s crazy, fed up and through with it
He’s sure someone must’ve fucked up Cupid,
In drunken stupors, body full of toxic fluid,
Thoughts lack a clear clarity far from lucid,
Fucking stupid, angry at her hurtful behaviour,
He loved her, she said he was her saviour,
Still craves her, despite the nasty flavour,
Sits and sobs, all he can do is blame her,
Drinks himself to death, via liver failure...

pain - i liked the way your verse came together as well... the imagry was sharp, i could picture the scene, dude frustrated his chick ain't giving him none, tempted by the ex... (fkn bitches!) and i like the way you constructed the piece making it smooth to transition from one rhyme to another...

both had good wordplay and solid flowatry, pretty evenly matched i thought, but my vote goes to gutso mainly for being able to personally relate to his piece on a deep deep level, he struk a nerve with me.

[Scatterboxx]

wow.
very good battle.

guttso.
poetically speaking, this was gorgeous. your poetry painted stunning imagery, emotion that spoke through in immensely powerful ways, & the linguistics you used 99% of the time were just right. & i mean: JUST right. very nicely done. now... your mechanics worked. i could read through it fairly easily, but some lines were stretched & some lines were cut short. your rhyme scheme was lackluster to say the least. clever rhyming is necessary nowadays in the rstl, & i rarely found that within your verse. the originality of the verse spoke to me only through its written style. conceptually & topically, it was rather bland, cliche, & dragging. it was completely unnecessary to stretch the verse into the length that you did. nonetheless, i was interested throughout, thanks to a greatly written verse.

pain.
okay. not your best. but you're a fantastic writer, so that isn't dumbing your verse down much. while a bit blah conceptually, i read your verse over a beat that worked perfectly, & maybe that was just it. due to a true essence of hip hop audio flow found in your lyrics, i read it smoother than i read most cats around here - mechanically, especially: the rhyme scheme, flow, wording, etc... all very nicely done. like meta, yours is natural. unlike meta's style, yours has a flare of elegance that i wouldn't necessarily call linguistically brilliant by any means, but each word you use seems to be carefully chosen, fitting the sentence/bar/phrase/etc seamlessly. overall, content wise, it was a bit dry... much moreso than guttso's imo. still, the read was just so fucking smooth i couldn't help but enjoy it quite a bit more.

v-pain.
smoother read.

[Lucifa]

first up .. the poll in a recent mag issue proves that this league far from 'hates' topicals ..

Guttso - this was pretty solid writing .. good flow and rhyming .. the content was a little harder than Pain's to really get in to as it didn't really transition well IMO .. not exactly random but not fully connecting to guide the reader through .. the strong point for me was the mechanics behind the writing of the verse .. the content played second fiddle .. a good read but I think your previous verses worked better as far as the actual story/plot is concerned ..

Pain - you can disagree with my opinion of you all you like .. but I still think you write topicals better than you write stories .. it's definitely good to have both in the locker but topical writing is your strong point IMO .. and like I say .. topicals aren't hated as the recent poll proves .. and I actually think you should have gone topical here .. as you lost this one IMO .. what surprises me (although not surprising me at the same time) is Got Life?'s vote .. as he is the first guy to slap his name down in favour of mechanics>content .. and Guttso had you mechanically .. but also ..

Vote = MC Guttso .. "but also .." .. Guttso's content although not full cohesive was the more interesting IMO .. Pain was just a little too blahzay in approach to both his mechanics and the content/story .. it wasn't very interesting to read in either instance .. whilst Guttso lacked in areas he did enough for the vote here IMO ..

[Atheist]

Guttso:
This was actually a delightful piece to read; so negative, heartbreakingly painful deaths. I just love to read sad stories, and you really executed this well. The flow was decent, the wording great, the way you expressed each sentence was fantastic, and the way in which you wrote to numerous topics made it all fit together brilliantly. My only quarrel was that your choice of rhyming, and actual lack of multiple rhyming, hindered this piece from becoming the full and polished verse it could have been. The rhyming was very simplistic; for example, in stanza three every rhyming word ended in –ation. Stanza five was also slightly similar. Try and change it up a bit, make it more complex. Other than that though, I’m impressed with what I read.

Favourite lines:
He loved her, she said he was her saviour,
Still craves her, despite the nasty flavour,
Sits and sobs, all he can do is blame her,
Drinks himself to death, via liver failure

Their bond was surely directed by demons or Satan,
No dreams of charming knights or fine fair maidens,
Angels attempted blatant equations to save them,
Living in a dead limbo together, with no safe havens

Pain:
This was a decent piece. I didn’t really like the sex addict angle, but everything else you were saying can really hit home with a lot of people. There’s always that urge to do something that you know you shouldn’t, and I thought you should have kept running with that, instead of bringing in the idea of being a sex addict. The final line was good, and it really wrapped up things nicely, but I think you could have come across more strongly if you had have kept it understated. Nevertheless, it was well written; your flow was pretty much equal to Guttso’s, however, your use of multiple rhyming was much better as Guttso’s was non-existent. However, I just felt more interested, more entertained, and more hooked when reading Guttso’s verse.

Favourite lines:
I mean, you're cuter than her, you're movements are worth,
All the money in the world, plus rubies for sure,
And I said I'd never cheat, and I'm true to my word,


------------------------------------------------------------


Vote: Guttso.

I can see from the other votes that this is an incredibly tight battle, and I knew that was going to be the case after reading both of your verses. You both wrote very well, and have surely given each other a run for the money. I just felt that Guttso’s overall story was much more entertaining to read and, in my opinion, it just had that little extra bit to it that Pain’s verse lacked.

[Strike2]

Intresting match two different styles

Guttso
Cool verse decent read but it seemed a bit forced here and there with a few things added for flow or imagery or whatever that didnt need to be there. It wasnt real bad but it was somethin that threw me off a little.

Pain
great smoothe read nice flow only real problem for me is I dont really see where this connects to the pic...but as a verse shit was nice kept me reading and never got boring... and with reading as much verses as we do thats a big plus to me

either way vote pain his piece was jus easier to get into and go with nice verse from guttso but pain definitely got it

[Saga]

guttso - I liked this drop.. flow seems to be something your pretty good at as you consistently have lines in stories that are easy to follow.. um as far as this match goes, you seemed to put more into your verse this week than your opponent story was more consistent too I thought

pain - this was a nice drop i think your flow was really tight in one section.. but the story slowly started to get worse the more I read.. like it started strong and ended weaker than i thought it should... i also dont really like the fact you claimed u couldnt write a story so dropped this instead, it makes it seem right away, to me as a voter, that you dont even feel you deserve to win... but I liked your drop overall

vote guttso

[Cormier]

dope battle here. i really dug both verses.

Pain- this was written very well. very nice rhyme scheme. the flow was pretty good for the most part, but there wer a couple spots where it seemed to get a little stretched when compared to the rest of the verse. i loved the writing in the first like 20 lines, but after that the writing went a tad south. the rest of the verse was still well-written, just not on the same level as that first part.

Guttso- very nice verse. the writing wasn't quite as complex as Pain's, but i liked the use of internal rhyming to keep the verse moving along. I also really liked your wordin throughout this piece. every line seemed natural and concise. i must say that i also conncected with your content more than in Pain's verse. it was a simple concept but it was done nicely and i just liked it a lot.

VOTE= Guttso because i think Pain's writing was a little better, but i liked guttso's content more and when it comes down to deciding between content and writing, my personal preference usually leans towards content. dope battle though fellas

[Sound]

pretty nice match here.

.:Pain:. - really nice verse here guy. kept me interested throughout my read. of course, i read TheReturn's version of the pic before, so i figured it would be sort of lame, but you mde a fool out of me. great use of imagery, great use of vocabulary, and it ending on a note that made me value this piece quite a lot. i read your verse first, and it really set the tone for what became a great match.

MC Guttso - i'ma have to agree with cormier a little.. content was really good, but like he proposed, this verse wasnt as complex as your opponents, which doesn't say much, because you had other strong points that made up for it. the rhyme scheme helped e throughout the piece, and i was able to read it quite easily due to your delivery of the topic. the wording was on point!, which helped seal the tone, for a great match.


hmm.. both of you guys did it for me, i certainly would ike to read more of both of you's material.. .:Pain:. made me want to read his verse more though. i wanted to actually jump into it. it was fairly even, but on that alone, i'm going to have to give him my vote. i think it's anyone's match though.

v/ .:Pain:.

p.s., thanks for the b-day shout MC Guttso.

[3-Planes]

guttso

nonsensical - a constipated labor of creativity - haphazard and random - generic and dull - piss poor writing - shall i continue?.. didn't excel in any one category of writing, but disappointed in quite a few.. this piece was like a moist hazy mist in a dark forest; not very enjoyable to navigate through (and it wasn't that you lost me with abstractions, it was just that alot of lines/sections lacked cohesion and was tied together in an utterly forced manner

pain

i liked this, it was personal with this honest writer's voice to it.. the flow seemed awfully weird in certain sections, but good in others which overall made a very schizophrenic impression.. the imagery was lacking - not a very visual piece, in that sense it was pretty dull.. but like i said, this piece had this earnest vibe and natural development

vote: .:Pain:.