[DF:WK3] 3-Planes vs. _KDP_ (VOTE NOW!)

[TheReturn]

Welcome to your match-up thread. Click Here For Rules & Regulations

Quick Over-View:
12-64 lines to a topic provided in the [TOPICS] thread of the sticky area.
Do not post more than 3 times within your own match-up thread.
^No more than once in anyone elses either!^
Stay fresh, no recycling.

Opt-In to the "Alternate" scheme before posting a verse.
This will increase your chances of obtaining feedback and votes via another opponent.
Just check in and state you wish to alternate, should you suffer a no-show.

Down To Business.
This Match-Up is between:
In Rank Order

3-Planes
Active Worth: 012pts
Vs.
_KDP_
Active Worth: 004pts

Good Luck Ladies.
Prove Your Worth

[3-Planes]

in. ALTERNATE.

votes:

[DF:WK3] Saga vs. Jimmy Eles (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK3] DeadKing vs. Vern Acular (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK3] Got Life? vs. Bonnie Bathory (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK3] Atheist vs Sound vs RICO (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK3] prophetional vs. Cormier (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK3] DaAlmightyDolla vs. TheReturn (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK3] Strike2 vs. MetaSin (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK3] .:Pain:. vs. MC Guttso (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK3] T.a.C vs. -Atreyu- (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK3] nom de plume. vs. tbone (VOTE NOW!)

[_KDP_]

im in. alternate

[DF:WK3] prophetional vs. Cormier (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK3] Saga vs. Jimmy Eles (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK3] Strike2 vs. MetaSin (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK3] .:Pain:. vs. MC Guttso (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK3] T.a.C vs. -Atreyu- (VOTE NOW!)

.

[3-Planes]

Dear John,

i write this to you the 5th of July
- to tell you that i've witnessed the strife
the chaotic abyss; the pit that's your mind
you lead a miserable-type, pitiful life..
a subsistence defined by stricture and spite
- the slanderous lies of the wicked and sly
your diginity withers, wizens and dies
as they mock you - and belittle your pride
springing inside - are schemes for revenge
mind combusting - seething dissent
the precious sanity these leeches will drain
- bleeding impends if you can't release this and vent
a speedy descent into the deepness of hell
- blood-sucking freaks with the features of men
me, i'm your friend, and i feel you need me again
i'm *real* - no make believe or pretend

getting rid of me was for the better they say
- that i influenced you in a negative way
the one blamed when you unfettered your rage
- drew metal and then lacerated his face
left him horrendously maimed - he was a cunt and disgrace
- talked down to you in the most insulting of ways
these backbiters will get put in their place
- they're worth less than the dust in your wake
your wonderful, great - beautiful mind
- the world rocks; it moves when you smile
compared to you everyone's diluted and foul
- mutilated mutant-allusions to life
brutish and vile, inferior people
leering, deceitful - delirious creatures
with me there's no fearing these demons
hit me back..

sincerely, Your Ego

topics - a letter from me & a beguiling whisper

[_KDP_]

expand.

You can do it Kathryn, c’mon, get it in gear!
Welled up with tears, her eyelids couldn’t shelter the fears
If she walked back thru those doors she’d catch some hell in her ears
Yellin ‘n sneers maybe even pelted with beers
bank account at bottom dollar, bills swellin til clear-
skies n silver linings’ razor thin memories, sheer
6 months on injured reserve no choice but to go back
I’ll just throw back a couple vicodins ‘n flush down a prozac.
fire up the khush ‘n double shots of cognac
get blowed, pack the duffle bag ‘n I’m out, Let’s Go Kat!
motivated sufficiently, Kat acted deliberately
strolled her faux confident ass right thru the doors of Epiphany…



‘Good googely moogely!’- some cat yelled out from da back
‘Fuck when animals attack! That shits when buttshots go wack!’
‘What you sneak building a clubhouse? Girl take it back, stop it!
Your not? Then why you hiding them two bricks in ya back pocket!
Kat’s worst fears had been realized, why didn’t she rethink?
Running wit tears to the dressin room, her ass knocked over three drinks
Another dancer, cocktail waitress plus a chair at the stage!
The draft from her ass platted a Chinese broad’s hair into braids!



Scared n ashamed, Kat had Doc McClaren to blame
convinced her to be a test case sayin don’t be scared of the change
six months later there it remains, swelling still present
got her booty lookin like a belly six months pregnant
but all of a sudden, ’fuck these peasants’her confidence grew
pills she popped kicked in, ’fuck that I’ll get compliments too’
brain under waves of euphoric reminders…
she took her ass to the stage,
you could mistake it for a bookbag way she drug it behind her
someone would find her, to their liking ‘n then the shit happened
a round of applause… wait, that’s just her ass clappin
but there was a cat in the back that had some dollars to pay her
pure gump, sucker type captain just waitin to save her
cakin’ it major, his hat pulled down to cover his eyes
he placed franklins in a thong too stretched to come to her thighs
bill after bill… Kat’s garter started to fill
far from a mill, but more than enough for her to start to rebuild
startled n thrilled she had to find out what was not so apparent
she lifted his hat up, mother fucker…
it was Dr McClaren.

[Atheist]

3-Planes:
The first thing I noticed about this verse was the fantastic flow and continuous multiple rhyming. However, with this skilful ability and talent comes a downfall, and that downfall was evident in your actual topical. The story itself wasn’t overly exciting and, in all honesty, it’s nothing new. I’m all for a polished verse that contains grand rhyming and flow, but you also need the substance; and that’s something I felt you lacked here. It was also a relatively short piece, and I feel you were going for quality over quantity. But yet again, you missed the mark; you really didn’t give yourself enough time and space to develop the story into something better. So overall, the style in which this verse was written was excellent. Simple as. However, you lacked substance, and this really hindered your piece.

Favourite segment:
compared to you everyone's diluted and foul
- mutilated mutant-allusions to life
brutish and vile, inferior people
leering, deceitful - delirious creatures
with me there's no fearing these demons

KDP:
Similarly to 3-Planes, your verse flowed neatly. The rhyming wasn’t quite as good and in fact it sometimes seemed a little forced, especially in the opening segment of “bills swelling til clear” and “thin memories, sheer”. That part just didn’t sound right. Apart from that, the first part opened nicely and really set the tone of the girl with the medically enhanced fat ass. However, the beginning of the second stanza was an eyesore. That “googely moogely” line was just terrible. This part, therefore, threw me off a little; your verse really seemed to go from the sublime to the ridiculous in a matter of seconds.

However, concerning the story overall, yours was slightly more entertaining than 3-Planes, and couple this with your smooth flow, you barely edged it in my opinion. Both verses illustrated stylish writing, but the stories themselves were slightly ordinary. However, I believed KDP had the better verse as it just held my attention that little bit more.

Favourite lines:
six months later there it remains, swelling still present
got her booty lookin like a belly six months pregnant
but all of a sudden, ’fuck these peasants’her confidence grew
pills she popped kicked in, ’fuck that I’ll get compliments too’
brain under waves of euphoric reminders…
she took her ass to the stage,
you could mistake it for a bookbag way she drug it behind her


----------------------------------------------------------------


Vote: KDP

I really think this is going to be a tight match, and I honestly believe either of you could end up winning it.

[MC Guttso]

My opinions are somewhat similar to Atheist's:

3-Planes: As often seems to be the case your rhyme scheme and the whole mechanics seem to be in a league of their own. Your verses always seem to feel intense and fun to read. Often short, but with a successful portrayal of a message. You can say something in 10 words that some say using like 50 for example. And this was more of the same.
As for the content it didn't capture my attention this week. I don't feel it could have been developed further really, because it would have just dragged.
It was an interesting idea to write in a form of a letter all of those feelings that could be defined and transposed into an ego. I don't know if I sound harsh in saying your verse felt a bit bland to me this week. Although I did have a few lines that I enjoyed: the last eight in particular.

KDP: Whilst there is no doubt your ryhme scheme/mechanics were inferior to 3PAs - I still felt they were effective, and the verse flowed nicely in most places, although a bit bumpy and simple in parts. A stripper with a fat ass! Haha..it was a light read which was fun, and had a hint of darkness in places. I enjoyed the descriptiveness to show to the reader how fat her arse was. And I thought Doc McLaren was a wanker. Lol. Real Enjoyable read.

So basically. I'm gonna go for MC B - weaker mechanics (although not shit) but a more appealing storyline. MC A - had slick mechanics, but the story felt bland to me.

This is why I think this battle has potential to be interesting on the voting part. Because everyone is gonna have there own personal preference here with what they like and what they don't.

v - KDP.

[Got Life?]

3-PA - your style is probably one of my favorites, the way your pieces flow and build just always captures me and you're probably the smoothest to read out of most...mechanics are always top notch along with a really smooth strong scheme, but a piece from a guy's ego to him...this is an age old topic upon which you didn't add anything that really made it your own. Granted in some cases it's enough to just write a really good verse on a been there done that topic, but I don't know if that's going to be enough to carry you past KDP this week. I think this needed more development.

KDP - I love that you came out of seemingly no where but you have your multies and scheme tight for the most part...there were a couple instances where the wording was a little forced, but I like the combination of how you rhyme and the general level of your vocab in your piece throughout...you can tell that this isn't your first time writing...I thought the idea wasn't the most original, but it was amusing and I won't go so far as to say I was laughing, but almost. The comedic element lifted the tone of this piece and allowed for me to get into it more and actually enjoy the piece as opposed to just sit there and read through something.

I think that was the key difference between these two verses.

Mechanics and everything aside, KDP delivered a piece that was just more appealing to read because of its tone/writer's voice.

vote = KDP.

[Vern Acular]

3 planes...

this was nice, rhyme shceme through me off in some areas, but the writing was good, a little short but it still worked, felt like a poetry piece more than anything, nice smooth read nothing too stand out for me but an ok verse

KDP...

in my mind that seems like it must of been a big ass...i lke this rhyme scheme was hot....good multi's in some areas in the middle it seems like another person just started keying some of your verse, but it all came back, i liked the vibe it had, comical in some areas, imagery filled, all in alll this was a solid verse...are you an alias though?...i'm thinking yes, if not well, then just keep doing your thing and welcome to the league

overall...

vote KDP....for a more appealing verse, both verse were above par....nice battle guys

[Jimmy Eles]

kdl - yours was more of a rap and interesting read while planes was more introspective piece..really enjoyd it as a story though..flowed nice for the most part...nice structure n all...some comedic relief...liked that...like that you used some wordplay n mety's to...didn't see that in planes...all in all shit was nice...




3 plane - the way you write you topicals is more poetry then rap to me..but i love how descriptive you are..great vocab...nice structure and flow...i like your sayins i dont really know what the term for them are but the jawn the chaotic abyss; the pit that's your mind you lead a miserable-type, pitiful life.. < -- very dope bar...overall real nice...like the multis and how you change your structure around...



really 2 very differant styles........i really liked planes wording and all but at points it got a lil boring n shit.....so ima go wit


kdl <---

[Saga]

3 planes - another solid verse when it comes to rhyme schemes..cool overall verse, im starting to think you just key these up though quickly, the way the substance gets replaces for the flow... I dont think I have seen you write a long piece, but I think your style would benifit that becuase I feel like I didnt get much from your piece in the end

KDP - this was a great read. it was more of the story approach as compared to a more topical feeling story from planes.. the flow scheme of your drop was very nice and it carried the story well threw the whole read. nothing bad to say about this drop

vote KDP

[Strike2]

hmmm not what I expected in this match..

3p
Not as good as last week is the first thing that comes to mind...the multi's were cool but didnt really fell in naturally, to me at least...Still you did well with the topic gave it a cool twist... Im pretty sure this is not the first time I saw an ego adress someone in this league... but then again.. which idea hasnt been tried to death...So all in all its a nice verse wich would have probably been better if you stuck more to jus telling people what they need to hear instead of describing it forcing multi's and extra stuff in...still I guess it all depends on the reader...

KDP
Well vern was spot on... the beginnin and end were nice as hell...the middle I was like ehhh what happened? Still it was a good read skimmin over the middle it came together well with nice natural flow and some nice twisted humor wich I see too little in the league... any humor for that matter...

either way pretty close run thing but KDP edges
vote kdp

[Cormier]

alright...

KDP- pretty decent verse. pretty nice flow and pace to it. the rhyming was pretty good, but a couple lines did seem forced and unnatural. you sacrificed proper wording in a couple spots just to carry the rhyme, which you shold stay away from in the future if at all possible. the story was pretty decent. it didn't have me on the edge of my seat or anything, but ending was cool and there were a couple funny lines in this piece (such as the ass clapping line). pretty good and entertaining verse.

3PA- pretty nice for being a bit shorter of a verse. i actually liked the way your rhyme scheme changed up a little bit throughout the piece. at times it was a little basic but at other times it was a bit more complex. kept the piece a little fresh and ••••ed things up a bit. the content of this piece didn't do a whole lot for me though. a couple lines were nice (like the delirious creatures couplet), but i've seen many pie es with very similar content and concepts. and this piece didn't do a whole lot for me.

VOTE= KDP because i felt 3pa edged him very slightly in the writing category, but i'm more of a content man and i was more entertained by KDP's content than 3PA's.

[Sound]

3-Planes, you're up first.

3-Planes - read it multiple times, and the flow is what originally caught my eye. this piece sort of reminds me of Stan a little, but a little different. i think the flow is what enhanced this piece a lot. it was simple, and complex at the same time.. honestly, a really great verse, haven't seen it done this way before, but i've seen similar ones. it's something that i believe everyone has probably thought about, and just may not have elaborated or written upon. like, writin a suicide note.. a letter to myself.. a letter to you, and you are me, type thig. overall, this piece DID hold my attention, and i really enjoyed the read. great verse itself.

_KDP_ - nice piece. flow was on point, although, agreeing with Athetist, you did have some forced spots, none-the-less a wonderful read. i honestly hated the middle, lol. i don't know man, it didn't do it for me. but you picked it back up with the end, and your imagery and content became apparent. you're conclusion was't shockingly nice, but appealed to me. made me think a little, and go back and rad from beginning to end again great execution on the pictures and topics if i might add.

v/ _KDP_ - i simply felt the more original piece, opposed 3-Planes piece.

GREAT read though, guys.

[Bonnie Bathory]

wow at the votes...

3PA - Reallly enjoyed this piece. I found your mechanics to be stellar as usual... vocab and multis done well... story seemed to suffer at points for the sake of a rhyme, or be repetitous... but other than that, I liked the concept, I liked how you presented it and I think you showed how skillful you are at writing

KDP - This... was ok... there was more of a story there than with 3PA, but thats about all there was more of... I dont think you displayed the same level of mechanical skill he did, flow, vocab, multis, complexity in general... and your story, to me, was kinda... meh... ok but nothing great... overall I don't think it was great enough to grant you the win, by my standards...

V > 3PA for the better written piece, appealing more to my personal liking