[DF:WK1] 1. Got Life? v 14. rocket (VOTE NOW!)

[Lucifa]

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Down To Business.
This Match-Up is between:
In Rank Order

Got Life?
Active Worth: 003pts
Vs.
rocket
Active Worth: 000pts

Good Luck Ladies.
Prove Your Worth

[Got Life?]

twinkle twinkle.

Alternate.

[rocket]

same in case GL gets wasted

[Got Life?]

[DF:WK1] 3. TheReturn v 12. MC Guttso (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK1] 5. 3-Planes v 10. NOBLE SOLDIER (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK1] 4. Scatterboxx v 11. sfsportsfan (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK1] 2. .:Pain:. v 13. SpeedyCalhoun (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK1] 7. Chin Kwon v 8. tbone (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK1] 4. nom de plume. v 11. _KDP_ (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK1] 10. Saga v 13. Bonnie Bathory (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK1] 1. DaAlmightyDolla v 14. Calibre (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK1] 3. Lucifa v 12. MetaSin (VOTE NOW!)
[DF:WK1] 2. Vern Acular v 6. Mic-illaH (VOTE NOW!)

[Got Life?]

"Jagged Shards Of Broken Dreams"

She was a stargazing day dreamer,
Trapped; phasing decay turning leaner,
As cancer ate the meat off her bones,
Yet there was no defeat in the tones-
Of her voice as she spoke to her lover,
Hoping he wouldn’t poke and discover-
The means to an end of her rejoice,
For when Allison had heard his voice-
Life seemed to fill with hope and repair,
And she could only cope with despair,
While knowing that he was still there,
It was something within his stare,
Or the simple fact that he did truly care,
Laughing together, that unruly pair,
They seemed forever lost in each other,
Until he called and got Allison’s mother.

She spoke with a mother’s hesitation,
The impatient waiting as conversation-
Simply did not move quickly enough,
Predicting this as some sickly little bluff,
For who was on the end of the phone,
Asking for Allison as if he hadn’t known,
That she had died nearly a year ago,
So puzzled she asked, and here we go.

Jake simply couldn’t believe his ears,
Consumed by his beleaguered fears,
That this amazing girl he met on the net,
Was simply a ghost, a dead silhouette,
So he lay down in bed with a cigarette,
Eyes fixed blankly on the television set,
Until his eyes closed and he drifted away-
Toward Heaven; where God lifted decay,
And Allison lay there amidst the flowers,
Drinking in the passion of summer showers,
Yet as he stepped closer, the phone rang,
And best believe, on the other end sang-
Allison…as if nothing had changed,
He threw the phone, feeling deranged…
Jake, you can’t get calls from the dead,
He’d tell himself as he tried resting his head.

It was baffling…how much he would pace,
Over Allison...a girl he never met face to face,
So when the madness set in he finally called,
Lying on the floor enthralled, simply sprawled-
Out all over, until returning to a fetal position,
Counting the rings on the phone transmission,
Until she picked up and said, “Hello lover.”
“I missed you so much beneath my cover.”
“Can you finally come to keep me warm?”
Jake wept, swept himself up with a storm,
And replied, “I’ll be there on the next flight.”
Promising her, “Everything will be alright.”

Upon arrival he sought out her white dress,
The blonde hair and well…just about any likeness-
To the photos that Allison had sent him,
And there she stood, on the outside looking in,
So he dropped his bags and ran to kiss her,
Only to find Allison’s brother in the clothes of his sister,
Wearing a long blonde wig and her make up,
Speaking with the girly voice that Jake loved...

And so it seemed that after Allison died,
Her brother tried to let her spirit confide-
Through him, hoping it would keep her spirit at bay,
Unwilling to believe that God led her astray.

[rocket]

Tomorrow I Die

like bon jovi, Im going out in a blaze of glory
i know its a generic coming of age gang story
out the projects and aint even started livin yet
I was a dealer but now Ima click reject
dont do your own product and not pay
thats what i did now my lifes gone away
I owe more to DJ than I can ever afford
the orders been passed my lifes been aborted
I wish to god I hadnt tried hadnt snorted
that 'cain'll do ya everytime ya court it
oh well I scored another key one giant line
My name is Sam and tomorrow i will die

my story is a sad one and my last checks cashed
I woke this morning to find my mattress slashed
who had done this? I wondered about this rash act
i searched my apartment and found in point of fact
a note plastered to my bathroom mirror in blood
the point was abstract, the note plain as mud
I was dead if i remained in this neighbourhood
I packed and prepared to leave for good
everything present I opened the door wide
closed my eyes and leapt through the night
nowhere to run or hide I had to get outta sight
for if i was found certainly tomorrow i would die

god i looked at my arm and saw the blood
runnin down my arm like Noah's flood
so beautiful and exotic it feels so erotic
I cant believe its finally coming chaotic
my arms moving slowly as if they're robotic
my head is swimming Im swaying hypnotic
"no pain no gain" I know the truth of it now
this will bring their world crashing down
I will make the paper "Son of Billionaire Dies"
carefully calculated I write down a pack of lies
implicating my father in droves of schemes
I think of how much I hate him and gleefully beam


what do they have in common one might ask
a son, a man and a thug fleeing their pasts?
there is a better today and brighter tomorrow
but not these folks their remainin time is borrowed
one bleeding on the floor to destroy his dad
he feels unloved and wants to exact payback
another a pusher addicted to his own stash
bills he couldnt pay and checks he couldnt cash
the last a man marked for death for not even reppin
coulda joined up but instead its death or get to steppin
the moral of their stories is there are none
you could die for just lookin like ya havin fun
tomorrow is a promise of futures yet to come
but I wont see them as tomorrow i die and succumb
i knuckle under and my story ends with doubts
will I die before this letter ever gets out?

[Lucifa]

GL? leads 1-0.

[3-Planes]

Got Life?

the big revelation of this piece was very, how shall i put this, weird.. not bad weird - pretty good weird.. normally i don't really like twists like that, but this one put alot of the piece into context on the whole mad-with-grief tip.. mechanically well-sorted and pretty smooth, though some of the rhymes felt a little simplistic (i've said this before: i don't think you need to compromise the integrity of the content to rhyme off of more syllables and in more complext schemes).. overall this was a tight-knit and well-crafted piece

rocket

the plot of this story piece felt haphazard and pretty unnatural, these tales of interest that lives and dies with how something spectacular and out of the ordinary happens seldom impress me much.. same here really, a variation of something told a 1000 times before without much to draw me into the narrative coupled with really dull mechanics (pretty solid without major screw ups, but reaaaaaaally dull)

vote: Got Life?

for a well-constructed and thought out piece

[Chin Kwon]

Got Life?

haha, i liked this story. The ending was kind of disturbing but it was definitely unexpected. Although i think i would've been aiite if it went the cliche route cause believe or not, i was really into the story lol. I wish you would've elaborate and extended that last stanza a bit. A more thorough exposition would've made it even more interesting. but i enjoyed this. good shit pawtna.



rocket

This seems to story about a guy who found himself to be the victim of some unknown animosity. This story was easy to follow but it was very boring. I thought the flow was less than great and i couldn't connect with the character at all. It dragged on without purporse. I could tolerate the 'generic' story but this was boring.


Vote=Got Life? For a much more interesting read on top of better technicals and overall concept.

[T.a.C]

gl?- damn its easy to tell why your the top seed in the rankings. story was deep. yo ima start trying (emphasis on trying) to model my shit more like yours and lucifa's


rocket- it seems like a story any other rapper would tell, which is great if your making a cd, but if your in a league where you gotta tell a story, atleast make it an original one. no offense dude. jus work on it.

vote-gl?

TR NOTE: Two FULL lines of critique for each writer or this vote doesn't count.

[Lucifa]

GL? - pretty cool piece .. the twist had me .. the build up had the emotional connection and some of the wording was pretty nice .. even had a line nom may be proud of with the "she spoke with a mother's hesitation" .. the flow was good and it all made for a good and more importantly, entertaining read .. not gonna hype it beyond recognition of a well constructed verse .. as I have read better from you in all catergories of breakdown .. but overall this was a good piece ..

rocket - this was ok IMO .. but just ok .. the flow was very inconsistent with nothing about the writing really lifting the piece off the screen .. which leaves the content sitting there in unappealing presentation .. this doesn't help matters as the content itself was only marginally interesting for me .. the idea isn't fresh and the approach you took made that even more evident .. it was an ok read that I didn't mind reading .. it just didn't ignite any kind of emotion or interest ..

Vote = Got Life? .. gave the reader a more entertaining verse and backed that with better presentation of his verse .. although the pic didn't really make the most sense ..

[DeadKing]

gotlife - interesting verse here, a really good read tho i dont really understand the ending but it didnt take away from your verse, the flow and format wasnt perfect...... but it didnt need to be cause the story was conveyed so well, it actually inspired me to do something, write something actually, and the first stanza did it for me cause i thought you were going to take this verse somewhere else but didnt....... so i shall do it for you, lol


rocket - this verse was very cliched - your first 2 bars were horrid actually, lol...... i didnt like your flow, format, or story, and when you take those 3 vital pillars of a verse and vomit on them like you just took a shot of feces......... what em i suppose to do? your verse wasnt really THAT bad, but up against lifes verse it just seems like an ass, focus next time on getting your verse to jive on diff levels

vote - gl

[TheReturn]

Got Life? - I wasn't expecting the twist, so that was good. I hate that you started using a few multis in the beginning and then gave up, kind of disappointing for a multi-rhymer like myself. Story was alright, nothing really new or special until the ending, which was kind of gross. Mechanics were pretty spot on, enough to win here.

rocket - The wording in this was off all over the place. It really felt rushed and the story was pretty boring and unoriginal as well. It felt like two different stories pulled in together at the end, but not done very well or in a very interesting way. I found myself just reading and not comprehending a few times during this piece and it made me mad because then I'd have to go back and find where I zoned out and start again.

VOTE = Got Life?

[Scatterboxx]

gl... you've definitely been getting increasingly better. to be honest, i thought i could drop rubbish against you & win & obviously that didn't turn out to be true. ha. your verse wasn't as gripping as usual, but the writing & mechanics were above average, especially for you - which, of course, in return, made it a much more interesting read. as thereturn said, the multis in the beginning were nice, but what happened? there were definitely some as the story continued, but few & far. obviously rhyming isn't natural to you, but it's good to see you finally putting some effort into that. lines flowed well for the most part, but it's like there was this automated tempo drop as the story continued. wtf was that about? it still flowed, technically, but the tempo varied at times, which was odd. good story - not as creative as usual - but very well told. & the ending made it worth my while, which is kinda rare for you, seeing as you throw in that "moral of the story" bullshit. ha. very good piece. enough to lend you the victory by far.

rocket... not a bad verse. i'm not familiar with your usual stuff. this wasn't an all out slaughter. while your story was very told very vaguely, there were some nice lines in there. every so often i'd be shocked by just how well one line or two was written, but it wasn't often, unfortunately. it just wasn't too entertaining, & your linguistics were incredibly lackluster. your mechanics were different than gl's. not bad different, necessarily. just different. it flowed very naturally, & you had a more creative rhyme scheme than gl. however, your rhymes seemed forced at times & that hindered the flow, throwing me off at points. i had to kinda read each set of 2 bars like 2-3 times just to catch the flow as i thought it was supposed to be, & that kinda pissed me off, cuz that just shouldn't be the case. in truth, however, once i did read them that extra time or 2 it paid off, seeing as i caught on to that seemingly unnatural flow.

both pieces had there pros & cons, but gl definitely conquered in most areas. other than creativity involving the mechanics of the piece, he won in basically every department. his linguistics were surprisingly strong, he had a more natural flow, & his story was faaar more entertaining - with a much better ending, as well.

weird battle.

v- gl.

[Bonnie Bathory]

umm hate to beat a dead horse but V > GL?

GL's mechanics were on point... his story was well-developed and kept me going throughout without predicting how it would end... when the ending came it was good... GL shined as usual

The third verse of rocket's piece was the best written of all of them I feel... and if he had used the vocab and imagry thoughout his piece like he did in that verse he mighta given GL a run for his money... however, I think the simplicity of the rest of the verses in this piece is what allowed GL the win here

much love