[S3W3] Rap Antics (0-0) vs. MC Guttso (0-0) (VOTE NOW!)

[TheReturn]

Verses Due by Thursday @ 11:59pm EST
Votes Due by Sunday @ 11:59pm EST

It is highly recommended that you read and understand all the rules and regulations.

Click Here For Rules

Don't forget you must declare "Alternate" to be given an opponent in case of a no-show.

[rocket]

check alternate

Alternated

[MC Guttso]

I'm in....declare alternate

Votes
1. S2FINALE: Eye-Rime v. Got Life - [S2FINALE] *(VOTE NOW!)* Eye-Rime v. Got Life? *(VOTE NOW!)*
2. S3: Mic-illaH v. sfsportsfan - [S3W3] Mic-illaH (1-1) vs. sfsportsfan (0-0) (VOTE NOW!)
3. S3: rocket v. Lucifa - [S3W3] rocket (0-1) vs. Lucifa (22-9) (VOTE NOW!)
4. S3: GotLife? v. Infinite Truth - [S3W3] Got Life? (0-0) vs. Infinite Truth (0-0) (VOTE NOW!)
5. S3: Chin Kwon v. Pharaohe Def - [S3W3] Pharaohe Def (1-0) vs. Chin Kwon (1-1) (VOTE NOW!)
6. S3: Pain v. nom de plume - [S3W3] .:Pain:. (3-0) vs. nom de plume. (8-4) (VOTE NOW!)

[MC Guttso]

Gonna post early I got a bit to do this week...

WHITE SUIT

My perception of reality is distorted, I feel frightened
Dismissed from the office – my sensitivity heightened
As a financial advisor, high-flyer, new firms I enlighten
My rage has tightened; my boss thinks he’s a Titan
I excel at my job, helpin’ stores to flourish and brighten

Every fucker loves me in my cream white suit
Fresh and clean in my swish whistle and flute
Relentless stats and figures, I have to compute,
Harlots in my Lexus boot... livin’ life wild on the commute.
Kicking back in my crib, smokin’ zoot after zoot!

I’m confused, pals think my attitude’s - delusional an’ aloof
I feel withdrawn from stuff and my behaviour’s uncouth
Burdened with these government secrets, I’m tellin’ the truth,
Coz when the phone buzzes my heart hits the roof…
Since the day, CIA crew, rushed my house an' removed my tooth
All these conspiring spies and lies…what’s a man like me to do?

Restless and annoyed, with sudden mood changes,
My parrots are plottin’ in their fucking bird cages,
Paranoid about these unexpected, weird life stages,
Lost interest in the jaded Financial Times pages,
Confusion over common faces, names and ages,
Illusions of craziness, decaying as my brain deranges

I’m starting to see shit no one else sees,
To the bedroom - a whore in my bed - it's Denise,
With a gruesome disease…PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!
Inside my arms, I’m crawling with fleas,
To the garden, ahh…what a lovely breeze,
So I sit on my knees and talk with the trees.
Shit, antelopes an' centipedes on a lawn stampede!
FLLEEEEEAAASSS!
There’s a fucking knife in my pocket,
I quickly disembowel my limb; I chop it…and stab it,
In the kitchen, Heffner’s not tappin’ a bunny goddamit,
He’s actually fucking dead rabbits, I can’t stand it!
But I’m still proud of my work ethic and habit
In a padded cell now, no commercial rabble and racket,
I’ve exchanged my cream suit for a white straight jacket

Every fucker loves me in my cream white suit
Fresh and clean in my swish whistle and flute
Relentless meds and pills I have to dilute
These cushioned walls make my brain cells minute,
I sit alone in my cell, depressed an’ bemused

Topic: I see shit no one else sees.

[Rap Antics]

The bottle slams, as the palm strikes her face
red cheeks, graffitied by tears, she swells in a rage
shocked yet scared, she glares feeblely
the daughter see her parents, starts weakening
she only knows after dads drink, and white powder
he's a prowler, she a little nation between super powers
the same hand she'd tug to get his attention
would attack her, after the pub, after the sniffin
like good times, pillow fights, 2 against one opponent
cept the hits are now with fist, and the pillows are consolement
.
.
.
.
.
She wants to shield mom, but gets swatted away
tries to protect again, moms jumps in her place
the door breaks open, blue stars take him away
the scar on her heart was less than the one on her face
.
.
.
.
.
years pass, heart heals, but scar still remains
engraved on her face, a line that represents
every hit taken, every promise and truth bent
Never seeing the motive, knowing just the intent
like somethiing valuable mislent, cant get back
she fed off the hate for years, now after plaques
and walls of achievements in the armed forces
her mother had became ill, from all the remorsing
biggest portion, of these reasons, dedicated to him
but before mom dies, daughter gets a gun and went
.
.
.
.
.
...to the culprit...
Lying in an alley, he takes another drink, starts convulsing
sees his daughter as his lost child, now a women
with scorn matchin the wrath of god in bible times
he clams over to beg at her feet, she cocks the nine
making sure the father passes before mom in time
dismissing the lost love that he wanted to find
but all she sees is mom left for dead alone
and as a soldier, deaths the only escape from war at home

[rocket]

wow... actually pretty good from both of you...

Guttso - well written lyrically I have very little to complain about. However, the story left quite a bit to be desired with some glaring plot holes left unresolved by the end of the story.

Antics - my complaint for you is the complete reverse, great story development but the rhyming left a lot to be desired.

All in all a very good battle but Antics gets my vote for a better told story.

[Chin Kwon]

hey kudos, this battle was better than i thought. Glad to have some more quality writers here.


MG

Impressive showing man. Flow was on point. The story was nothing new, but your execution made it a pretty entertaining read. Usually dillusion piece are associated with drugs and shit like that. My only gripe is that, again, it's really nothing original. But i can tell ur a talented writer, look forward to reading more from you.

Rap Antic

Cool verse RA, the narrative was very fast pace and it read smoothly. Domestic abuse is not a new concept but i like how you've incorporate it into the topic of choice. And the fact that you referred to all of them by mother, father, daughter was pretty interesting; Made it seem like a kind of social satire in a way haha. cool shit.


This was a hard battle to vote on. Both had great execution of their respective concepts and both went in with a touch of humor, despite the dark underlying tones. I think i'm going to give this to Rap Antics. I thought his verse was more complete, despite it being so short. Dillusion piece are kind of boring to me because unless there's somekind of strong commentary in it, it's just Blabla to me.

Vote Rap Antics

[sfsportsfan]

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck this ones hard to decide

guttso- loved it from a lyrical stand point, but basically it seemed like a dude in a white suit stroking his ego over and over. it was just a bad topic to chose, in my opinion, but i think you made it as best as you could with the topic you had.

antics- bro keep proving bay area cats can rap man. this was dope. very deep, the story was great. i could see that being made into a movie..if it was longer. i liked the flow on this one too and how the story kept moving, it didnt stop and talk about one thing for too long it just kept on going. nice job

vote-antics

[Lucifa]

interesting ..

Guttso - I started out and was like "ok, seems interesting" and then "ok, I'm a dog?" .. "seen, I'm a mental case" .. took me on a journey I guess .. writing was pretty solid with no real complaints about mechanics from what I read .. the concept is a played one but I think every writer needs to try different things and some stick out more than others .. this was probably one of them as the concept can be adapted to many topics and ways in/out of it .. did a decent job of it .. is "zoot" a US slang term too? ..

Antics - I'll start where I left off with Guttso in saying that the concept to the piece was something that (unfairly) takes away from the read .. as domestic abuse is a commonly used theme but with different takes and twists .. when you consider that some people will have read this concept a fair few times .. you need to have a stamp of something to lift your piece and this felt a bit flat to me .. a 'by the numbers' verse so to speak .. which again when it comes to mechanics as an aspect to voting I feel you didn't impress yet didn't have much to fault as it was a smooth read .. somewhat simple vocab maybe ..

so on the basis of the most "entertaining" read ..

Vote = MC Guttso .. it was a mad little piece that was rough around the edges .. but I just felt flat after reading Antics' verse with no real positives but no glaring negatives .. he just did the do .. but Guttso left me with 'something' of entertainment and readability reward ..

[3-Planes]

Mc Guttso

i thought the use of these two pictures where a real stretch, though the idea behind this piece was pretty creative and enjoyable as such and i can understand how you "had to go with it"... flow-wise you have alot of uneven segments and that bugs me as it almost always throws the flow off, which in this piece was pretty dry and dull as it was.. so yeah pretty enjoyable piece as i wanted to see where you took it but not the best execution

Antics

this was riddled with horrible and awkward wording and a choppy flow - these both factors in compliance killed everything what 'smooth development' is.. and since the concept wasn't all that original or mind-blowing, i'm left with a story that made me think "why did he tell this? what was i supposed to get out of it except a cheap emotional climax and not much else"

vote: Mc Guttso

better concept, better execution

[Got Life?]

Guttso - there was some really good writing in this verse and some that disappointed me...when he starts to hallucinate i loved...everything else...not so much...i would love to have seen why...bring some development into it...don't just throw me a picture of an old guy and tell me he went nuts...it's not enough.

RA - while this has been done and this week especially these themes got dragged through the mud, but I like the way that you delivered this piece. It wastn't overly elaborate or anything, but you tied in everything that needed to be brought together for this verse to work.

vote = RA.