[RD 1] 3. 3-Planes v. 14. Vada (VOTE NOW!)

[Quriosity]

VERSE DUE SATURDAY @ 11:59 PM EST
VOTES DUE MONDAY @ 11:59 PM EST

RSTL Official Rules & Regulations

[vada]

The World As I Know It

when it rains it pours
well except in this place of course
see in this world...there's reign and poor
basically everyday is a mirror image to the day before
the same rapport...
basic instinct lipsinked in the ancient form
heiroglyphics tag the walls, the lack of flaws remain explored
the sable floors create an aura...angels made this haven dorm
but to outsiders the raven warns you to beware the Craven's war
see the prophecy states that one day when a little baby's born
in a place where rain is a mystery there will be the greatest storm
creating lakes in gorge...and bringing waves to shores
manipulating the planet digging this civilations morgue
and then it happens....
a knock on the marble plated doors...a cry heard from inside
Methias arrives and quickly sees the hurt in her eyes
the wind waltzes through mid autumn...an emergency cry
Leyona nervous inside beckons as her cervix provides
a brutal tug as her mucous plug drops and squirts through her thighs
she dilates...the phrophecy states this is the turn of the tides
Methias holds her sweaty palms while staring into the turbulent skies
the head emerges he cries....cause now the curse is alive
Leyona curdled and died...Methias holds up his daughter
the phrophecy's wrong...Methias thinks ...Leyona the martyr ?
it's said that the seed shall bloom through the soul of it's father
so in flux...Methias screams "I was supposed to be offered"
every moment was akward...he gets a blade from the kitchen
while he's elated with tension he shows a vague intervention
he tells his baby to listen...that's when he states and he mentions
it's up to you...he cuts his wrist and escapes to ascension
so as she lays she invisions basically what is to come
she's see the future...and she understands what has been done
Methias was a man of phrophecy it's said he wanted a son
but it's said a girl would grow to show this planet what it's become
it's stunning to some...see at first the world was bland in devotion
the climate never changed and well we all could stand in the ocean
in a literal sense, cause water didn't stand as an ocean
everything was black as the solar system until the planets explosion
gave our land some emotion...two parents died to trust a savior
who said that soon the world would grow...most thought it was nothing major
that was centuries ago...never written as stuff on paper
but this is the story of those who died...to give birth
...to Mother Nature...

[Lucifa]

: 3-Planes :

"A Walk to Remember"

sweating profusely, a stupor of meth
- with flashing illusions of beautiful death...

on these shores the sky's dark, it rains
- where i walk in shame with the mark of Cain
as squalls and waves hit in stark cascades
- a thunderstorm roars, aroused with rage
a voice in the distance calls my name..
- a metallic sound all warped and strange
a staggering, limping march of pain..
- i stumble through the rocky, harsh terrain
towards the cave - from which i hear the voice
- and an unclear static, adherent noise
i climb down the cliff - to get to the entrance
as thunder bolts clash, deadly with vengeance
feeling i'm close - to the final solution
the counteract to my mind's dissolution
great escape - no divine retribution
- a journey through fear to find absolution
organic gargoyle fixtures abhor
- the cave is draped in a malicious decor
the air's stagnant - sickly and warm
and bloody razor blades litter the floor..
- visions of war, crucifixions and gore
skin tissue hangs - in strips on the walls
the whisper enthralls - i'm hurting and weak
my fatigued frame burns from surging disease
shuteye and sleep - searching for peace
- a weary wanderer who yearns for release
stung bodies - hang from the roof
- mangled and damaged by fangs and abuse
flesh infected, battered and blue
fractured bones - shattered and bruised
the floor slippery from corpses' bile
- one seems to flash me a knowing smile
from a dangling noose... cold inside
- from the sharp glare of those glowing eyes
a war inside... the voice asks intense with rage
if i accept a fate - of incremental pain
the cave reverbs with dissent in waves
to alternative is to suffer till the end of days..

a mental grave - dark and brooding mind

a slow walk...

...through thoughts of suicide.

[Quriosity]

vern - this was good but could have been much better, it seemed in the beginning that you had no clear direction or maybe i just wish you had described the scene differently but the opener seemed like puffery and you should have touched on how the world/setting appeared before the birth of mother nature, maybe describing some sort of deserted terrain with very dry surrounding and what not, but still this worked as the flow was for the most part solidly executed and i loved the birthing scene, the whole suicide nonsense seemed like just an event to fill the space and connect the dots and just seemed as if it could have been something different or some different type of event with more meaning, but again this worked i suppose and overall the writing was good while i felt that the content relied heavily on the flow because the idea as a whole was superb but could have been executed through a better storyline, kind of like a bad script but good acting and whatnot, i liked this and i loved the idea and one day i'll write my own version because i think im being critical based on where i think you 'could have' taken this story but as said where you 'did take it' still worked, good drop overall

3p - this was dope. the descriptions were dark and spot on and the flow was just as good as vern's but also different (being shorter/quicker releases) and carried the reader through the verse in a quicker pace which i think added to the impact of the scene that was painted, the ending was spot on as well for me and worked well for wrapping up the entirety of the verse and a description of a setting that until then was dope but held little meaning or significance, i think this was well executed and well done with a good flow, great imagery, a good use of language, and a good ending, well done homie

vote - 3 planes, mainly because while i did enjoy vern's piece very much and the flow was superb i felt that the concept was underachieved by his choice of events and also the opening while good and arguably significant could have been left out or redone to add to the impact of the entirety of the verse, 3p's came off as shorter yet everything was very significant with absolutely no puffery and you managed to describe one very dark and disturbing setting stretched out for an entire verse with a great ending or discription of the picture, close battle and could go either way depending on the preference of the reader but i find little reason here why 3p's verse shouldnt merit a win whereas i can pick out a couple as to why vada's fell short of the full potential, both were equally creative in my idea but was executed more creatively whereas the other seemed to be stretched to make up for room, i'll stop babbling now but good battle and dope verses from both

[Lucifa]

thanks for letting your verse stand Vern ..

Vada - I really enjoyed this piece .. I have read Q's vote (read it around the time your verse was pulled) .. and whilst I agree with him about someone else would go about it differently and maybe create a scene where the world is baron before mother nature gives birth to life .. but had I not read his vote I doubt I'd have commented on it .. so I'm throwing that out the window (so to speak) .. cos regardless of what 'could' have been added I still felt this was a pretty much complete article .. flow looked stretched but read real smoothly with some nice vocab and good descriptive work creating a very interesting read .. the whole metaphor thing is a 'played' concept in itself but I felt this was definitely one of the better ones I've read ..

3-P - first thing that sticks out with this piece is the very tidy flow in a short line structure that would transition to audio with pretty much no changes needed to deliver it on beat .. the concept was straight and it had that moody feel in abundance .. I think you achieved what you set out to do with this piece and it made for a good read .. the imagery held strong and you wrapped the piece up well to leave the piece on a high note as this never fell off .. whole thing was consistent in both delivery and content .. didn't side track and kept it all tied together nicely ..

Vote = Vada .. another great match-up that is so fucking hard to call .. (as it should be at 'this' level) .. an almost coin flip but I found I enjoyed Verns content a little bit more .. neither can be faulted tbh .. but I just found that out of this Life vs Death battle .. vada had the more appealing concept to me personally .. both showed great prowess in writing and both deserve votes here .. but mine goes to vada .. good battle and good luck to both of you in this one ..

[Got Life?]

Vern - I enjoyed the hell out of this piece...it was written so fucking fluidly and on a really high caliber of writing...also to me it was a more creative piece than most of the run of the mill same shit different day stories that tend to run a muck in this league. I really liked the execution and the imagery /w that muckus plug line...good shit you bastard.

3-PA - wow dude, that was vivid as fuck...I really enjoyed it...the cave concept resonated well and it brought me back to images of the cave in fight club accept instead of a peaceful tranquil cave it's all these visions of suicide and gore...I think you delivered it really well and the flow was extremely good.

It's really hard to decide on this battle...both verses were written very well with the creativity edging in vern's favor and the subject matter preference edging toward 3-pa...

I have to go /w my personal preference to darker themes though and give my accordingly.

vote = 3PA.

Great match up guys, this was definitely the hardest for me to pick between.

[3-Planes]

my votes:

http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...1#post15765853
[RD 1] 2. Lucifa v. 15. Got Life? (VOTE NOW!)
http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...1#post15767669
http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...7#post15768037
http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...7#post15768347

[vada]

[RD 1] 2. Lucifa v. 15. Got Life? (VOTE NOW!)
[RD 1] 6. RICO v. 11. DaAlmightyDolla (VOTE NOW!)
[RD 1] 4. Cereal_Killer v. 13. Pent uP (VOTE NOW!)
[RD 1] 8. nom de plume. v. 9. Infinite Truth (VOTE NOW!)
[RD 1] 1. Nah Son v. 16. Bodian (VOTE NOW!)

[DaAlmightyDolla]

vada-

ur verse was beautiful. i cant really find a word 4 it. even with death as a part of it. the way this was told felt so enlightening. to bad its nonfiction lol. flow is always good and the creativity was very present. the different things u threw in ( solar system, ocean , mother nature) reminded me of the stuff i like 2 mix in. i guess ur like me but in super saiyen form lol. the storytelling in itself was like watching a good documentary on the history channel. overall 9/10

3p

i like the scheme. very short lines but flow was great. it was so good that it felt too short. very good imagery and emotion was on point. im big on the emotional tip. i wish u could have carried it longer. the topics definitely helped it even better. 9/10

very hard match to vote on. this may also have match of the week potential....

v- vada just cuz of the concept

but fuck if this could have been any closer

[Lord Drama]

at first this was much harder for me to choose a winner, but the more you read them in comparison the more it is obvious to me who won in my opinion. 3pa's verse seemed to focus more on a specific instance where as vada's topical was speaking on a bigger level of thought. Both of the writing of the verses was fresh an direct, but I think it takes a little more effort to caress lines with flow in the fashion vada used as to 3pa's.. the shorter line style gives you only so many words to work with and makes word cuts that rhyme seem more simple, but dont get me wrong, this method does help speed up the reading an be more clear with intentions, however I just see vadas whole concept being more advanced in thought and if it wasnt conveyed as good as it was, I could easily see 3pa gettin this. The cave metaphor was really cool for a suicide story, but in a close match like this I go to the mind that thought on a wider scale. Vote vada wish you both could advance but there can be only one... and if u dont wanna count my vote its cool 3pa.. just thought I would lend my opinion on this match

[Infinite Truth]

shit.

wow.
good battle.

vern... loved it, man. the scheme was impeccable. the flow stretched at times, but relatively tight. 3pa's was better but whatever. the story was great. the poetics were dope. the imagery- fantastic. i absolutely loved this verse.

3pa... dooope. i dunno. you're making this verse dope. very different styles. your flow was insanely nice. your rhymes, linguistics, & imagery were overall nice, but unfortunately, i personally feel vern slightly edged you out in the area. i thought your mechanics were better... but with text, certain elements of mechanics aren't necessarily as important as the areas vern edged you out in. great verse nonetheless.

v- vada.

[nah son]

this battle was the bes i read so far

vada u the man .. ya opening bars really drew me in .. i felt this topical was well done .. very classy too.. what i would have liked to see .. is a bit more flow .. if u would have had that illy rhyme scheme this would have been second to none

3planes this was hot too bro .. i really liked your rhyme scheme compared to v's. so to me these pieces were damn near two of the same kind .. thats why it's pretty easy to choose a winner .. yours started off very elegant and classy with good mechanics but by the 2/3 it had fell elementary too v's.. ur a talented fuckin dude though.. keep writing

v - vada

[Quriosity]

vada advances, 5-2
both post links

[Cereal_Killer]

vada:
oh man ima def fan of the metaphor - unbelievable right up my alley.. I think the whole celestial concept is one that doesn't fade.. Flow smooth some nice internals and all up a pretty decent rhythm to this piece.. Short but it didn't end too abruptly.. nice

3p:
holy shit as im a fan of the extremely light filled verses im also a deviate that gets inspired from the dark.. You def have to be be one of the darkest writers in here.. Nice wording, structure strong.. imagery hot and a like the whole fight club cave thin being an unpleasant place.. nice piece

vote = vada

man tough one both brilliant but going wit vern on the more sweeter emotion..