[Wk 4] 9. BaySick 0-0 v. 10. Daht Cahm 0-0 (Vote Now!)

Quriosity · 03-03-2008, 03:15 PM

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Daht Cahm · 03-03-2008, 03:20 PM

Check. I'll probably drop soon.

BaySick · 03-04-2008, 08:16 PM

Daht Cahm · 03-05-2008, 08:32 PM

Sun bathed in Charlie Parker
It’s melodic sex to your ears for starters
It’s like passion’s hateful ejaculation
Just a little bit harder…
…To fathom
Listened to Jazz from the back days,
You know those energetically relaxed days
Beautiful contradictions as the Moody Blues track plays
Dancing circles on my eyelids through those black shades
… I was addicted
Candy cigarettes to make it seem a bit more real,
Epileptic feet the tap along it’s so surreal
Lactating at the thought that the music of my fingers on brass
Would make some feel
… Finally alive
Such a kindred nation,
Not now Jenny the little Kenny G’s splendor patience
The needle on vinyl made me spin with the ‘cool’ that was this lost generation
… Engulf me
Even before I’d heard of sex
I was erupting eargasms in my turtle neck
Wondering what the synthesizer would murder next
… Can’t lose Jazz
Lots of hands ratta tat tat off plenty knees it‘s,
obsessive like penny treat shit
Let me see this,
Every breath that sneaks from my lungs wreaks of Kenny G hits
… Can’t you see it?
Making your fingertips coom right?
Brighter than sunshine more beautiful than moon light
And soon I, wallow in laughter in a Jazz Goons night
… Absorb it
Hotter than those June nights, I’m full of it
Low notes to high tops pull it quick
Daydreams abruptly stop once that bullet hits
… This is war
Those childhood days are gone
One last chance to play my song
And though the situation may be wrong
… It’s time for music
The sweat glistens around my throat
And my M-4 sings LOUD tossing rounds like notes
And like the legends of Jazz you’ll bleed the sounds it throws
… Listen for it
And my instrument and I may never stand again
So insurgents my crowd and the sand’s my stage
Body’s drop from these notes that this man plays
… I can’t be imitated
Was told don’t copy make music that’s your own
Center mass as these jazz cats extract your dome
Cause black metal and carbon… that’s my saxophone
… Now it’s clear
This song of patriotism in all it’s splenders
One last note the enemy’s soul it enters
I am a legend.. And my music will be remembered
…. Play with me

Daht Cahm · 03-05-2008, 08:33 PM

(I decided to do it now, since I'm in Iraq, never know when I'd get another chance to post it. Hope you like it. Good luck Baysick)

BaySick · 03-07-2008, 12:18 AM

Promotion speech in Detroit, Michigan
Vote for Mark Wallace…He will be the greatest president…
As the crowd cheers I begin to speak my speech not hesitant..
I move quickly without a hitch in my throat iknow what I wrote..
“My people my friends MY FAMILY I bring the hopeless hope..
I will take the people out of the streets and give them homes..
I still make the right decisions at any feet I will not leave it alone..
Im a president who doesn’t give up on people, I’m there for you..
Won’t say no to people who I treat equal my promise I follow thru..
But that’s enough about me what do you people want..
..::looking through the crowds he sees mean faces some taunt::..
=================================== ================

This man that runs for president is doin something never done before.
Its like… if he can take his visions and make the truth, or see no more?..
Because of him doing something that’s never been done, he has haters..
People don’t want to see him succeed even if he’s the best, nothing matters..
It’s how he approached it, that made him hated by some, but how will it end..
As the closing weeks come we will watch his faith, and see if he wins..

=================================== ==================

At His final speech for his campaign promotion.
Louisville, Georgia
Hello, my hometown of Georgia, I have a proposition for ya..
What if I take all racism out of the picture in the south foreva..
I know that sounds bold but with your votes I can make it work..
If I become president I can change things not only racism but that's a start..
I will change some of the worlds policy I will make more opportunities..
I will be the best president I can be and clean up America’s community..
Doing everything I can….
..::As he begins his second paragraph he here’s the bang of a hammer::..
..:: Looking around, then feeling the pain looking down he’s been hammered:..
Shot in the chest he stands in front of his hometown with a lost look
He realizes that this is the end of his book the last chapter he took..
The people scatter and like said before he’s black and it does matter..
There will never be a black president of the United States to many haters..
....as the cloud of smoke lifts off his body and the crowds fled..
you see a man that holds the power of a million shake his head..
Slowly George bush walks away with his handgun used for huntin..
He just won't have a black president in his white house runnin..
__________________

Got Life? · 03-07-2008, 04:16 AM

up over no-shows

Lucifa · 03-07-2008, 05:40 AM

I'm putting money on it being Baron .. anyway ..

Daht Cahm - I liked this .. unconvential structure but it worked .. I kind of cheated myself with this piece .. as I scrolled the whole thread first and saw the soldier pic .. so when this piece got going I actually predicted it was going to be a metaphorical piece .. but you did it well .. enjoyable to read with some nice imagery and descriptive work whilst twisting the metaphors throughout the verse .. nice job ..

BaySick - yes .. it was ..

.. oh .. you want more? .. ok .. well .. snoozefest comes to mind .. stretched lines that weren't really saying much interesting anyway .. you gotta work on cutting down how many syllables you're trying to fit into your bars .. content was pretty blah .. it had its motives and the black president thing is a very poignant debate .. you just delivered it with very little flare or strength in terms of a writers voice or opinion ..

Vote = Daht Cahm .. by a landslide ..

Got Life? · 03-07-2008, 08:11 AM

Tim - I loved this verse, the imagery was phenomenal and really carried the piece and I actually liked the broken down structure as it gave the piece a really good vibe, another thing that shined well was your writers voice...the only thing I think you could have done better here is with your actual rhyme scheme, but I think this verse was very well done. Also the emotional level although most don't know it, that soldier pic is actually you, so I thought that was a really dope tie in.

Bay - Ok, first thing I have to tell you is this is a step up from what you were writing last season, but at the same time, this was by no means more than a decent verse. One major thing I have an issue with is how basic your rhyming is because you pair it with incredibly simple language throughout your entire piece so your drab rhyming only makes your bars seem even more stretched...also instead of writing out an action sequence like this is a play, make it come to life with rhymes, that's the whole point of the RSTL...I also felt the transitions needed a lot of work and that all together this piece needed to be re-worked before you brought it to the table.

vote = Daht Cahm for outwriting Baysick across the table.

Blackanese · 03-07-2008, 01:33 PM

vote - daht cahm

will edit later lol!!!!!

Got Life? · 03-07-2008, 01:41 PM

^ that kind of shit doesn't fly in the RSTL...

(lmao)

Craccer_Jacc · 03-07-2008, 10:47 PM

yo both u cats did ya shit .. respect

dat your verse had a mixcture of everything imagry wordplay multi's n a solid plot... it was nice to read and made me a think a lil so good shit

bay your verse was rough it did stay on ya topic but kinda got hard to read cause there wasent really any surprises in it like i would read a line and i could already second guess what the next line was gonna be.. ya digg?

so my vote goes to Dat .... his verse was juss more complete

props to both for putten it out there

Daht Cahm · 03-08-2008, 02:50 PM

http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...1#post15465704
[Wk 4] 15. inkwell (chris) 2-1 v. 16. Stars€reen 0-1 (Vote Now!)
http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...1#post15465727
http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...1#post15465792

And yes that's me in the pic

Dougie G · 03-08-2008, 04:07 PM

Daht Cahm: Ok well at the beginning, yor verse was killing it, I loved everything about it, but then it started to slowly die out, I mean IMO, I think you should have ended it early, it would have been a better verse without the rushed ending, but still it was a nice verse with a great flow. Easy to follow

Baysick: LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! I just loved the idea you had for this verse, the first black president, being shot by Goerge Bush, now that is classic, I aint never even though about a president assinating another President. But even though the idea made me laugh, I dont think you did a good job of bringing the idea out, I mean first of hater does not rhyme with matter. It just doesnt.

Vote: Daht Cahm, For having a better rhyme scheme and a easier to follow flow

Insanevillian · 03-08-2008, 05:49 PM

Dat calm... sick as hell piece... i have a friend who is really into jazz and i had to pull him away from his computer to read this... and he loved it... i like the vocab, and it just really stuck out as the best topical piece have seen this week... u kind of remind me of my crew mate infinite truth... and trust me that is a compliment...

Baysick - well your flow scheme has gotten a little bit worse since the last time i read you... i remember i tried to work on that with you... u had a pretty good concept, but u have to make the verse a little bit more...

entertaining... if simple is how you like to keep it, than what u need to do is read a lucifa verse... cuz he is one of the best at keeping it simple but, letting his writiers voice take over the piece... so if simple is where u wanna go, improve your writers voice and u will give some people some comp in this league... it's probably been awhile since u wrote but i do say this, u are one of the most consistant heads in this league, and i'd LOVE to see u improve...

vote dat calm ---- he had the better overall verse in most departments, except maybe concept, ... but props to baysick for showing...

-Sephiroth- · 03-08-2008, 06:10 PM

vote - Daht Cahm

Daht Cahm - Nice piece, the wording kept me interested all the way through. The flow was a little choppy at times but that's ok cause everything else was fine to me.

BaySick - I don't know, i just didn't really like it lol. The flow wasn't really good, your wording wasn't bad though, but i couldn't wait for it to be finished to be honest. Also you had a dope picture to write about and you didn't really do anything with it.

03-03-2008, 03:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
Quriosity Michael Clayton of Text Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Atlanta, Ga Posts: 19,097	[Wk 4] 9. BaySick 0-0 v. 10. Daht Cahm 0-0 (Vote Now!) ----- The RSTL Official Rules & Regulations ----- "GENERAL RULES" VERSUS DUE: Every Thursday @ 11:59 PM EST LINE LIMIT: 16 ≤ YOUR VERSE ≤ 64 NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS • Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent • Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent • If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants • CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required • Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics • A failure to show will result in a loss by default • If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 4 lines (4-15) AND 2 voting links in order to claim victory • A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!! • If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote • Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers. "VOTING RULES" VOTES DUE: Every Sunday @ 11:59 PM EST • You MUST vote on AT LEAST 4 matches AND post links in your thread • EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION • You MUST also vote on the Championship and Contender matches and LABEL your links accordingly • Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 lines in length per verse to be counted • If your opponent fails to show, you are still accountable for voting on AT LEAST 2 matches as well as posting those links in your match!!! • Votes posted AFTER DEADLINE will NOT COUNT in a TIE or CLOSE match, thus possibly resulting in a loss!!! • Voting is open to PARTICIPANTS, RSTL MODERATORS, and PAST CHAMPIONS ONLY!!! • PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 4 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter • Switch-votes must be changed within the hour of their original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be deemed void. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator *MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND* __________________ .textmastersoftheuniverse. calefaction lucifa thereturn alias2 magus quriosity speedycalhoun johndough bonniebathory metasin sephiroth ((JOIN THE RBL NOW)) ►► CLICK ME, CLICK ME ◄◄

03-04-2008, 08:16 PM	#3 (permalink)
BaySick ill. Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: SZFFlowsSOONice: i respect you because you try sooo damn hard..its impressive Posts: 6,546	ok __________________ Unavailable.

03-05-2008, 08:32 PM	#4 (permalink)
Daht Cahm The Poster Child Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 143	Sun bathed in Charlie Parker It’s melodic sex to your ears for starters It’s like passion’s hateful ejaculation Just a little bit harder… …To fathom Listened to Jazz from the back days, You know those energetically relaxed days Beautiful contradictions as the Moody Blues track plays Dancing circles on my eyelids through those black shades … I was addicted Candy cigarettes to make it seem a bit more real, Epileptic feet the tap along it’s so surreal Lactating at the thought that the music of my fingers on brass Would make some feel … Finally alive Such a kindred nation, Not now Jenny the little Kenny G’s splendor patience The needle on vinyl made me spin with the ‘cool’ that was this lost generation … Engulf me Even before I’d heard of sex I was erupting eargasms in my turtle neck Wondering what the synthesizer would murder next … Can’t lose Jazz Lots of hands ratta tat tat off plenty knees it‘s, obsessive like penny treat shit Let me see this, Every breath that sneaks from my lungs wreaks of Kenny G hits … Can’t you see it? Making your fingertips coom right? Brighter than sunshine more beautiful than moon light And soon I, wallow in laughter in a Jazz Goons night … Absorb it Hotter than those June nights, I’m full of it Low notes to high tops pull it quick Daydreams abruptly stop once that bullet hits … This is war Those childhood days are gone One last chance to play my song And though the situation may be wrong … It’s time for music The sweat glistens around my throat And my M-4 sings LOUD tossing rounds like notes And like the legends of Jazz you’ll bleed the sounds it throws … Listen for it And my instrument and I may never stand again So insurgents my crowd and the sand’s my stage Body’s drop from these notes that this man plays … I can’t be imitated Was told don’t copy make music that’s your own Center mass as these jazz cats extract your dome Cause black metal and carbon… that’s my saxophone … Now it’s clear This song of patriotism in all it’s splenders One last note the enemy’s soul it enters I am a legend.. And my music will be remembered …. Play with me Last edited by Daht Cahm; 03-05-2008 at 08:44 PM.

03-07-2008, 12:18 AM	#6 (permalink)
BaySick ill. Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: SZFFlowsSOONice: i respect you because you try sooo damn hard..its impressive Posts: 6,546	Promotion speech in Detroit, Michigan Vote for Mark Wallace…He will be the greatest president… As the crowd cheers I begin to speak my speech not hesitant.. I move quickly without a hitch in my throat iknow what I wrote.. “My people my friends MY FAMILY I bring the hopeless hope.. I will take the people out of the streets and give them homes.. I still make the right decisions at any feet I will not leave it alone.. Im a president who doesn’t give up on people, I’m there for you.. Won’t say no to people who I treat equal my promise I follow thru.. But that’s enough about me what do you people want.. ..::looking through the crowds he sees mean faces some taunt::.. =================================== ================ This man that runs for president is doin something never done before. Its like… if he can take his visions and make the truth, or see no more?.. Because of him doing something that’s never been done, he has haters.. People don’t want to see him succeed even if he’s the best, nothing matters.. It’s how he approached it, that made him hated by some, but how will it end.. As the closing weeks come we will watch his faith, and see if he wins.. =================================== ================== At His final speech for his campaign promotion. Louisville, Georgia Hello, my hometown of Georgia, I have a proposition for ya.. What if I take all racism out of the picture in the south foreva.. I know that sounds bold but with your votes I can make it work.. If I become president I can change things not only racism but that's a start.. I will change some of the worlds policy I will make more opportunities.. I will be the best president I can be and clean up America’s community.. Doing everything I can…. ..::As he begins his second paragraph he here’s the bang of a hammer::.. ..:: Looking around, then feeling the pain looking down he’s been hammered:.. Shot in the chest he stands in front of his hometown with a lost look He realizes that this is the end of his book the last chapter he took.. The people scatter and like said before he’s black and it does matter.. There will never be a black president of the United States to many haters.. ....as the cloud of smoke lifts off his body and the crowds fled.. you see a man that holds the power of a million shake his head.. Slowly George bush walks away with his handgun used for huntin.. He just won't have a black president in his white house runnin.. __________________ __________________ Unavailable.

03-07-2008, 05:40 AM	#8 (permalink)
Lucifa Viva La Eva Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: United Kingdom Status: Rumba Raving Posts: 16,787	I'm putting money on it being Baron .. anyway .. Daht Cahm - I liked this .. unconvential structure but it worked .. I kind of cheated myself with this piece .. as I scrolled the whole thread first and saw the soldier pic .. so when this piece got going I actually predicted it was going to be a metaphorical piece .. but you did it well .. enjoyable to read with some nice imagery and descriptive work whilst twisting the metaphors throughout the verse .. nice job .. BaySick - yes .. it was .. .. oh .. you want more? .. ok .. well .. snoozefest comes to mind .. stretched lines that weren't really saying much interesting anyway .. you gotta work on cutting down how many syllables you're trying to fit into your bars .. content was pretty blah .. it had its motives and the black president thing is a very poignant debate .. you just delivered it with very little flare or strength in terms of a writers voice or opinion .. Vote = Daht Cahm .. by a landslide .. __________________ Boy Better Know TMU Na Na Nai RSTL Ironman Tournament is up & running

03-03-2008, 03:20 PM	#2 (permalink)
Daht Cahm The Poster Child Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 143	Check. I'll probably drop soon.

03-05-2008, 08:33 PM	#5 (permalink)
Daht Cahm The Poster Child Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 143	(I decided to do it now, since I'm in Iraq, never know when I'd get another chance to post it. Hope you like it. Good luck Baysick)

03-07-2008, 01:33 PM	#10 (permalink)
Blackanese Got Flow Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: In yo sisters bedroom Posts: 5,963	vote - daht cahm will edit later lol!!!!! __________________ Blackanese Music@Myspace Nese@Myspace Turndown Mag Last edited by Blackanese; 03-07-2008 at 01:50 PM.

03-07-2008, 10:47 PM	#12 (permalink)
Craccer_Jacc got Purpose? Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: who's liven? Posts: 245	yo both u cats did ya shit .. respect dat your verse had a mixcture of everything imagry wordplay multi's n a solid plot... it was nice to read and made me a think a lil so good shit bay your verse was rough it did stay on ya topic but kinda got hard to read cause there wasent really any surprises in it like i would read a line and i could already second guess what the next line was gonna be.. ya digg? so my vote goes to Dat .... his verse was juss more complete props to both for putten it out there __________________ I'm Wacc?? we spend our whole lives developen our minds and in the end alls we wanna do is turn it off........... (miles) Fraiser

03-08-2008, 02:50 PM	#13 (permalink)
Daht Cahm The Poster Child Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 143	http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...1#post15465704 [Wk 4] 15. inkwell (chris) 2-1 v. 16. Stars€reen 0-1 (Vote Now!) http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...1#post15465727 http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...1#post15465792 And yes that's me in the pic

03-08-2008, 04:07 PM	#14 (permalink)
Dougie G Registered User Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Hinesville Ga Posts: 299	Daht Cahm: Ok well at the beginning, yor verse was killing it, I loved everything about it, but then it started to slowly die out, I mean IMO, I think you should have ended it early, it would have been a better verse without the rushed ending, but still it was a nice verse with a great flow. Easy to follow Baysick: LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! I just loved the idea you had for this verse, the first black president, being shot by Goerge Bush, now that is classic, I aint never even though about a president assinating another President. But even though the idea made me laugh, I dont think you did a good job of bringing the idea out, I mean first of hater does not rhyme with matter. It just doesnt. Vote: Daht Cahm, For having a better rhyme scheme and a easier to follow flow __________________ The Republican Party Dougie G-The Return-Jook NO-SHOWS ARE FOR FAGS

03-08-2008, 05:49 PM	#15 (permalink)
Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Oakland, Ca Posts: 16,322	Dat calm... sick as hell piece... i have a friend who is really into jazz and i had to pull him away from his computer to read this... and he loved it... i like the vocab, and it just really stuck out as the best topical piece have seen this week... u kind of remind me of my crew mate infinite truth... and trust me that is a compliment... Baysick - well your flow scheme has gotten a little bit worse since the last time i read you... i remember i tried to work on that with you... u had a pretty good concept, but u have to make the verse a little bit more... entertaining... if simple is how you like to keep it, than what u need to do is read a lucifa verse... cuz he is one of the best at keeping it simple but, letting his writiers voice take over the piece... so if simple is where u wanna go, improve your writers voice and u will give some people some comp in this league... it's probably been awhile since u wrote but i do say this, u are one of the most consistant heads in this league, and i'd LOVE to see u improve... vote dat calm ---- he had the better overall verse in most departments, except maybe concept, ... but props to baysick for showing... __________________ ELITE

03-08-2008, 06:10 PM	#16 (permalink)
-Sephiroth- Geostigmatic Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 283	vote - Daht Cahm Daht Cahm - Nice piece, the wording kept me interested all the way through. The flow was a little choppy at times but that's ok cause everything else was fine to me. BaySick - I don't know, i just didn't really like it lol. The flow wasn't really good, your wording wasn't bad though, but i couldn't wait for it to be finished to be honest. Also you had a dope picture to write about and you didn't really do anything with it.

03-09-2008, 06:56 PM	#17 (permalink)
Bodian Mahatmaghandi Warholishit Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 89