Got Life? 10-4 vs. Condescending 0-0 (VOTE NOW!!!)

[Quriosity]

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[Got Life?]

show up or i'll wipe my bloody dick off on your teddy bear..

[Condescending]

check.....................

[Got Life?]

State of the Union

I feel like I've been dusted for seven years,
As I'm vaulted up and find my heaven clears,
I dead my fears, then drift off further again,
Lying in red ink from when I murdered a pen,
I'm fucked up, I know ya'll heard mama when,
She let the surgeon begin, to remove drama in,
The life of everyone forced to deal with me,
Conceal my plea, and let you live so happily,
But I still remain that thorn in your side,
Born adorned to just scorn those who tried,
As I force those whose loved ones just died,
To simply behold gold worldwide and collide,
Into the glamor and grandeur of twin towers,
Watching them crumble while the sin devours,
Any glimpse or shred of motherfucking hope,
Railing another line, cause I need it to cope.

The shit that goes round in our world today,
Makes me want to get lost and unfurl in yay,
Sniffing pounds, as it all just pounds away,
Fuck drama, cocaine fuels my shades of grey,

The shit that goes round in our world today,
Makes me want to get lost and unfurl in yay,
Sniffing pounds, as it all just pounds away,
Fuck drama, cocaine fuels my shades of grey,

The problems range from dope to television,
Our lungs poked, they cope from an incision,
As they insert more tubes to let us breathe,
Choking down as the Ecoli in lettuce seethe,
Boiling over, so as we fall prey to a clover,
Becoming deranged as we pray and we rover,
Paying less attention to an epidemic takeover,
So what we need now is a systemic makeover,
Allowing us to care less about Iran and Iraq,
We need to get a damn good plan and attack,
The real global killer... I'm not talking pollution,
I'm talking bout today's corporate evolution,
As we're running around about AIDS in Africa,
While they're lobbying grenades to damage ya,
Having us so thoroughly sold on Democracy,
Believing what we're told, oh the hypocrisy.

The shit that goes round in our world today,
Makes me want to get lost and unfurl in yay,
Sniffing pounds, as it all just pounds away,
Fuck drama, cocaine fuels my shades of grey,

The shit that goes round in our world today,
Makes me want to get lost and unfurl in yay,
Sniffing pounds, as it all just pounds away,
Fuck drama, cocaine fuels my shades of grey,

The real problem is this bullshit won't stop,
As those controlling the pulpit don't drop,
The demise is already seeped into our music,
Our movies and books as we live to abuse it,
Even our food, whether it's organic or not,
If you sell it across the Atlantic...your spot,
Will be shut down pronto for hormone levels,
Becoming more corporate drones with bezels,
Not realizing what the bigger picture shows,
My thousand words are just a scripture prose,
As lust for dust grows just thinking about it,
Preaching hard, still most of you'll doubt it,
That before y2k, most people died for God or love,
Now they die to reach the very facade above,
Buying into the lies of a corporate system,
In truth, I got so high that I couldn't afford to listen...

[J o o k]

Cup check.

[Condescending]

I thought the deadline was friday night, I thought the rules had changed? I will post up my verse tnyte if you want, or u can be a pussy and take the win

[Condescending]

In the beggining.........


In the begginings it was good before the rebels came
They was to preoccupied with violence and sniffing caine
Their was an element of silence and residents were vibrant
All was good, with enough medicine for the virus....
I was only 6, a bony twig from a poor family..
In the outskirts of sierra leonne where they branded me
a worker for life because I was young with no malaira
And it got scarier as I was from a popular diamond area
Rumour had it locals had been helping themselves....
But it wasnt their diamonds to delve into wealth
So one day the rebels came to leave us severed n maimed
A lot of guys were left with their heads seperate from their brains
Executed with stains smeering the dry landscape
They could tell if you'd been digging by your handshake
They lined up out small village, it's clear they were all killers
They checked our hands to see if their were mud spawns in em
They were thirsty for blood, checking hands for dirt and mud
Real killers, a whole squad of thirty merciless thugs
Then all of a sudden they pulled my sister from the line
Checked her hands, then silence erupted through the sky
Gang members let our sighs, other mothers let out cries
I'd explained she always dug once she would get outside (for fun)
They'd already condemed her, her little body shook
Her eyes met my pupils with that big brother look
This was unjustifiable, the rebel layed her on his bent knee
My eyes were mattered in tears as I heard the barrel empty
All I could do was angrily shout, these checks were randomly now
As to when, I don't know I feel my tounge strangling my mouth
All I know is I need to get my family out......

I will post up links tommorow if u want the barrel to go ahead.peace

[Got Life?]

let there be votes...

[Got Life?]

votes:

1. [Week 1] S. Issue 7-3 v. Memento 0-0 (VOTE NOW!!)
2. [Week 1] Bonnie Bathory 5-1 v. Everest 0-0 (VOTE NOW!!)

[J o o k]

Up This For Votes!

[Insanevillian]

Vote Got Life...

Got life... the thing i have to appreciate first and foremost is i AGREE with your piece... and number two is u kept a consistant rhyme scheme throughout. it wasn't the MOST INTRIGUING piece but it got me going and it was put together very nicely...

also, the hook was nice, there were times i even felt like that...

condencending... your verse was decent... it was interesting, but i think u coulda done more with it... it started to build and ended too abrupt in my opinion... i like that u DO havesome creativity and you add some crzy shit to your verses.. now u just need to add the depth and strengthen your plot...

[Lucifa]

this could have been a lot closer ..

Got Life? - not like you to take the topical approach .. and I must say it's not the strongest aspect to your writing .. you added that extra element though with the food references that stopped it being just a straight plain topical piece .. it didn't really feel 'charged' in strong opinion and feeling though .. and I felt that aspect being lacking in a verse of this direction was disappointing .. but it was all held together well .. just not gripping, motivating or overly interesting ..

Con - this had its moments .. there were some nice lines and language involved in this piece .. but the whole thing felt like it needed bulking up .. now .. there's a fine line between 'filler' and bulk .. this verse just needed "more" .. I was feeling it and I think had it been more substantial in content then it would have been a coin toss as to where my vote went ..

Vote = Got Life? .. in the end .. Got Life? takes this by a fairly clear margin .. Con showed the potential to push this to a "scraping" victory but fell short on really packing more meat on the bones of his verse ..

[Memento]

I think this one is unanimous.

Got Life? had the overall better rap verse, it was a clean sweep on that end for sure. His hook brought a lot of the emotional impact to the entirety of his submission, he was on point with where he was going with it, had a great flow and kept things interesting and fun to read.

Condescending didn't have a bad verse, and in the end it seemed like he probably put over his goal. Something that stood out to me on the negative side is that he just sort of left it open ended. The topic was In the Beginning, at the beginning of the verse he starts there, and reading through it I don't think we ever get out of the beginning. It seems like a long story with no real end in sight... which is perfectly fine... except I think there needed to be some sort of closure to the beginning... I'm glad the main character has established a goal, but I think I needed to at least know beyond that as much as whether he has actually set out on his way, that he's got some sort of a fighting chance in this. He at least needs a rough plan of some sort.

Condescending had a good plot, story, character, etc. but Got Life just had a way more profound approach to what he was doing here.

Vote = Got

[Quriosity]

got life, another classic showing here with you doing just enough to advance, nothing special and nothing wack, just an overall decent verse, well written for the most part with a decent flow somewhat uninspiring at times but more than enough to keep the reader going, once i realized that about 12 of those lines were for chorus it was much easier to read as it looked a lot longer than what it actually was, also the short bars helped the progression, the overall content would fit into the category of cliche and you really did nothing new here but it still worked as a decent read and a good tie in to the picture, again this was just enough to advance which is what im sure you were going for, hell this was probably something already written that you just posted to the picture, either way decent stuff here, good showing

condescending, to begin... you spelt beginning wrong, laughable and also somewhat disctracting, aside from that and other numerous typos and grammatical errors this was actually turning out to be a pretty decent verse, still nothing new offered to the reader on account of subject matter which lessoned the impact of what you might have felt was interesting material, but the flow was pretty good throughout and the content wasn't far behind, in the end however this felt very incomplete and almost unworthy of recognition, it really went no absolutely no where, decent showing i suppose

overall, i feel as though the winner is obvious, i can't say that this is close or would have been closer because neither seemed to try and both at full potential would have produced the same outcome in my mind, the better writer is clear, although it would have been more interesting if both took a different approach seeing as how both opted for cliche' topics and brought nothing fresh to the table, one just showcased better writing abilities and in the end gets the nod

vote - got life?

[Bonnie Bathory]

I wouldn't vote on this unless I had to... cuz my votes like kickin the dead horse

Con - this was great but too short, not enough for the win... flow was good, story good, good take on the topic, too damn short to battle the amount of good lines GL? put down

GL? - good story, good flow, good take on the topic... con coulda gave you a good battle but it turned out to be an easy win here for ya

V> GL?