Final 4: Got life vs. Mound 10 VOTE!

[J o o k]

The New RSTL Rules and Regulations

VERSES DUE:Friday 11:59 pm EST. NO RECYCLING.

Verses posted after the deadline will not count! UNLESS you post your verse before mods close threads (for some odd reason), and your opponent agrees to let your verse stand.

VOTES DUE: Sunday 8 PM PST. 4 votes per participant, POST LINKS in your match. Each link not posted will result in a 1 vote deduction up to 4 votes obviously.

*Votes posted after deadline will not count in a tie or a close match, thus possibly resulting in a loss. GET YOUR VOTES IN.
You are also required to vote on the Championship, and Contendership match which will be included in your 4 votes.

If you are not in the league you cannot vote, unless you are an ex champion. Ex champions must vote on a minimum of 4 battles for their votes to count.

*Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match exists) is encouraged but not required.

*Verses MUST incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines.

*Anyone who does not post at least 4 lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show.

*During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit.

*Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a no-show.

* EXSTENSTIONS will be granted on a case by case basis.

*If your opponent no shows you will still be held accountable for posting TWO VOTES.

*Votes must at least be 2 lines in length for each verse.

NO SHOWS WILL COUNT AS A LOSS.

Lastly: Moderators have FINAL say over all situations that arise.

Amendments

1. Mods can vote.

2. You're opponent automatically gets the same extension deadline.

3. You cannot win a championship by no show. You will become the number #1 seed, but you must win by vote to be a champion. This does not apply for defenses.

[Got Life?]

i'm here...

[Mound 10]

Cool, I don't think we've ever battled. Good luck to you.

[Mound 10]

...The juke joints jazzin', mixed with blue grass
The melodic vibrations cruise her veins for a true grasp...
...Of culture, New Orleans pre-Mardi gra
When hearts were pure, and Carly gnawed...
...At the piano keys, with her soul in her fingertips
Lost in an aura of funk, then Billy Holiday lingered in...
...She tossed an eager grin, the music had a strut from down south
Billy said "you're a bad motha..." She interrupted with "shut yo' mouth"...

...The juke joint disappeared with the calling of her moms voice
She found herself in her room, with a stuffed animal convoy...
...Of listeners, Billy Holiday turned back to baboo the bear...
And the musical notes fell from the sky, back to the chair
...She slid down the winding stair rail, landed on her feet
Her mother kissed her, and left lipstick branded on her cheek...
..."I'm off to work Carly" She hugged her tight with love indented
Her mother worked at a sperm bank.. really.. no pun intended...

...The door closes.. Mr. Hollands Opus begins
Sweat trickling from her forehead, her focus immense...
...She momentarily stops, thinking she heard the glass break
But the musics impelled in her mind, perfections at stake ...

...She continues to play with such passion and grace
Until a dark figure arises, and she's slapped in her face...
...Two hooded, big burly burglars had broken in
"We won't hurt you" ..one groped her chin...
...She mustered up some strength, that ended in substantial strain
"Sit the fuck down, we're only here for a financial gain"...
...They take everything, numerous trips to the mens truck
Even the heavy objects that took both of them to lift up...
...They cleaned out the bottom floor, then started to head up stairs
The only thing that Carly truly cared for was up there...


...The assailants reached her room, found her purse
Then looked at the Piano which had been handed down to her...
...From her mother, whom said it was very dear
Now the men had evil looks and it became very clear...
...She had followed them and stood there shaking an' vexed
She knew ... it's what they were taking next...
...As they lifted it up, she went for her soft-ball bat
Crushed ones face, until his jaw snapped...
...The other trembled with fear, standing there in his place
He could sense the hate when he glared in the face...
...So he quickly leaped over the piano, dodging her blows
He then kicked her face,
And punched her neck leaving a ring mark lodged in her throat...
...He ran out leaving his partner unconscious on the floor
She took a minute to grasp what happened, this had never gone on before...

...The police came and cleared the crime scene
Telling her, that she was a hero and did the right thing...


...Her mother rushed home, and said "you're out your mind kid
"For that piano huh? Well it's time I tell you the story behind it...
...It was 16 years ago, I was working late, it was me, Karren, and Dorth,
When a man came in, wanting to do some charity work...
...So he donated some sperm ..It's really all too gray
But in short, I used it.. and your father is Billy Holiday...
...He found out through a friend that I had his kid
And gave me his prized piano as a gift...
...To give to you when I thought you could play it
That's why for years, it was never played, just saved kid"...

...He endured many hardships, racism and blood shed yet still he hoard the truest
And now you too, like your father have truly bled .. for the music"...

[Got Life?]

Lips Sewn Shut

Erica was little miss sunshine, one smile
could brighten a room, bring light to the gloom,
At nine, she was fine, she had love in her soul,
She would climb, she would rise, she was someone that hoped,
But a beauty so pleasent just had to be,
Extorted, so she courted pagentry,
She was miss adolescent, the picture of perfect,
Pizzarro couldn't dream somethin' this vivid, and worth it,
Charisma was somethin' that came easy to her,
In the future, she could tame beasts with her words,
She continued, with this little venture she sought,
But she was left with little time to tend to her thoughts,
She tried to be somethin', always cryin' and bluffin',
She's pissed cuz her lips know a diet of nothin',
And the stress from her life just adds and weighs,
She lives and dies on every pagent day,
It's the morning of, she's dealing with this stress,
Doin' everything she can to feel like a princess,
And she looks like one, but she sits with a crowd,
That won't feel like royalty till given a crown,
And that's their mission for now,
The head piece, gets these women to be prisoners now,
With a look in their eyes, like they fuckin' care,
As they strut around on stage in their underwear,
But Erica feels like she's there for the deal,
Give her money, fake your lovin', she'll perform with a zeal,
She wins over judges, by servin' 'em sex,
Cuz she doesn't know shit about current events,
So when she speaks, she smiles and stutters,
Hopin' that her teeth might blind the judges,
The judges asked, "How do you feel about war?"
N she replies with anything not affecting her score,
If the judges only knew all the truth above,
All the drugs that she did, all the dudes she fucked,
But like it was said, she lives for the crown,
Because her morals stand an inch from the ground,
That's why, before her entrance, she stares in the mirror,
N why she exits after she blows a kiss to the crowd,
She doesn't care to see clearer, but it's goin' to change,
As she's watches miss perfect-er holdin' the reigns,
And she guides the judges, and Erica sees,
That judges are pawns that don't care what you need,
She doesn't care, doesn't listen or change it,
That crown to her now is as consistant as vapor,
You can see in her eyes, there's a visible split,
That •••eled crown represents some trivial shit,
With validation gone, it's steadily harder,
Why she worked so hard for a worthless tiara,
Back at home, and now her sadness grows,
Everytime that she thinks of the past she sewed,
She lays her head in her hands, and her eyes are wet,
Once a princess, now a crying wreck,
She gave up her health, and maybe sanity,
She gave up her soul, to chase her vanity,
Now she pays for it through the tears that she leaks,
A self made torment, a fear of a dream,
She couldn't see past all the proven lies,
Now she's contemplating suicide,
She avoids the scale, not a fuck if her weight's up,
Looks in the mirror and scrubs off her make-up,
She takes off her bra, let's nature show,
She takes off her heels, and waits to grow,
She tries to get rid of every bit of disguise,
She's plain sick and tired of livin' a lie...

[nah son]

this was a pretty dope battle

i dont get a chance to peep many coz of my time commitments

but im glad i did

mound your two opening stanzas/first 16 lines straight captured my attention, it was like you put words together that were so elegant and soulful. so i was definitely feelin how you opened up the story, i thought how you transitioned was a little fast going from her doing music to being slapped in the face, but you saved yourself by foreshadowing danger with the broken glass line. the whole heist stanza went by smooth and you did pretty well with it. but what got me is how you tied everything together in the ending with holiday being the girls father and the piano a gift from him. the ending lines were dope and meaningful on how they both had to bleed for music. this was a seriously nice piece. no real flaws at all, and im glad i had time to read it.

gotlife you too had a very nice opening though i felt awkward with the bring light to the gloom wording, it just doesn't sit right when you say it. but other than that you captured my attention really well and kept me engaged. i like how you transitioned, it was subtle and simple, elegant. during the middle of the story i feel as if you might have just added lines, because you had your story and what you wanted to say but you had space to feel or something. thats what i gathered coz it dragged a little bit. but the ending ended very maturely. no twisty windy tale or anything, and you know what, i like that. be real. that's a great thing pa. really cool verse.

vote - mound on the basis of creativeness, engagement, storyline and not really having extra lines that weren't needed that got had in the middle area.

[Trybz]

Yes, this is what semifinals are all about. There is no weak verse here.

Mound 10 - This was on on point to the tee. The beginning instantaneously grabbed my attention and I didn't stop reading until the end. I don't even see a weak point in this piece, maybe if I had to knit pick it would be to make the rhyme scheme even more smoother. But honestly that would be it. The story was creative, because there was a couple stories in one. One being her father, one about the piano and the other about her talents. I would say you could have talked about the father more but you would have went over the limit, and it's only so much you could do in 64 lines. The ending was very well written. Didn't have to get all fancy and shit, but tied in a nice twist and brought everything together including the pic very well. GOOD PIECE.

Got Life? - I like the topic you chose and what you wrote about. Lips Sewn Shut and then correlated it to anorexia. The whole story was very solid, nothing too flashy, nothing too whoa, just a very solid, well written piece. I like how you go from her being nice and normal to showing her flaws and being unintelligent, you switched tones real well. The ending was no flash flood type ending, it was simply a curtains fall type of ending. I definitely liked that about it too. So if I had one thing to change about your as I mentioned one thing about Mounds, it would be I would have liked a little more to be going on, maybe something to keep me interested in the low tone parts of the piece towards the last two thirds of the piece. The ending result, I felt this was a very solid, nicely written piece.

V. Mound for a more entertaining smoother read.

[J o o k]

Yeah pretty much. This was an ill witted match up right here. At the end of the day both stories were unique and I haven't seen the exacts of either done. One about the love for music in a sense but specifically a piano and a twisty story line about her father really being BH. Nonetheless, it came together well. Then my boy Got Life coming with a story on anorexia (which he obviously has never been through big mufucka LOL) but to be versatile and write about the subject was dope in itself. I liked how is was just a straight forward in your face kind of read. Keep that shit up and stop writing about gore nigguh LOL.

At the end of the day Mound wrote better. That's about it. Do I think Got Life could beat Mound? Sure do, but he didn't this time.

PEA < words of ol skoo RIKO lol.

[Quriosity]

Mound 10, the story was eh.. creative i suppose, the same sort of "freshness" that I predicted you'd bring, I really don't see the hype behind this verse, the bars were too wordy in my opinion which hindered the flow that already had minor flaws to begin with, the overall plot was not only a bit cheesy but misleading as well, the descriptions you began with were good although it just doesnt seem believable that a girl old enough to be left home alone and day dreaming about Billy Holiday doesnt know that he is her father, and then all the sudden burglars come and the hero defeats the burglars and then the twist is revealed that Billy Holiday is her father.. I dont know, I guess when reading this I began thinking that he was the father from teh beginning and then the twist just didnt make much sense or hold much impact, i re-read and i see what you were trying to do but it still just doesnt seem well executed in my opinion nor is it a "great" idea, but "fresh" nonetheless, overall it was a decent read again with good descriptions, a decent plot, a cheesy ending, and an okayish flow, nothing outstanding here in my opinion but good enough to keep me reading, good tie in to the picture as well although the ending, as many other bars, just seemed a bit too wordy/stretched for my taste

got life?, hmm, equally as creative and yet i felt this was a much more mature piece, the writer's voice was stronger in my opinion and the description of her insanity was executed well, the bars were shorter which made for a slightly better flow than your opponents and overall the entire plot just came off to me as a more worthy scheme as opposed to Billy Holiday's donated sperm and the daughter who stops 1 out of 2 robbers, the tie in to the picture was good as well as creative and the ending was on a much better note than the bleeding for music, maybe its just me (clearly) but i feel that this battle is plagued with this whole "freshness" rave, to me both verses were equally as creative as I already said, but at the same time GL displayed better writing, better character development, his plot was clear and concise and also a much more interesting read with much better mechanics and a slightly better flow, just a simple and straight to the point story line that showcased a person's insanity and obsession and inevitable defeat of her own mind, overall this was a good drop in my opinion, of course as always i felt that the flow could have been better but besides that the actual writing was up to par


with that said, i'll break the trend and vote - got life?, for a more engaging and interesting read which also happened to be less cheesy and offered more to me as a reader in the end

great battle though fellas

[Resilient.]

Mound 10 - I have to say you are a pretty good writer, and even better - I have to say you're a good writer and this is the first time I'm reading anything by you. The good things about your verse would be your Imagery and storytelling capabilities. YOu build up a great story, and with using some strong, vivid imagery, it came in for a good read. I liked how you tied the picture in at the end, because I didn't know what topic you started off with (if any.) If the picture was the only topic depicted in your piece, then great job with it. Fresh concept and very witty I might add. I have to take points away for a few things, though. Your flow is not consistant. Some lines were way short, and some were a bit long. If you combined 1 short line with 1 long line in one set of lines, then that would've worked. I didn't like most of the verse's flow where some bars (2 lines) were long, and some bars (2 lines) were short. I also have to say your vocabulary at most parts is very simplistic. I'm not saying use big words, but some of the end-rhyming words (had his kid/as a gift, played it/saved kid) were just weak. You had alot of bars (2 lines) that were like that. One last thing - The way you ended the verse was not good for me at all. 2 things about your ending. The way the mother spoke to her daughter was very unrealistic in the fact that she said "kid" alot instead of something like "hunnie" or "sweetie" and she wasn't worried if the child was okay after being robbed. She just wanted to tell the story of Billy Holiday, so the realism was shot down in the last stanza. The story had great bulid up, but that ending was just too bland for what you had going for yourself. Should have let the child die. Would have made for a better ending IMO. Overall though - Nice verse man. I hope to read some more of your writtens and see you develop into a force to be reckoned with in the RSTL.

Got Life? - I got one word for this piece. Mature. Elegance was brought to this battle with your verse. The imagery was verse strong as well in your piece, and I felt like I was watching a movie while reading. You had a pretty well maintained flow throughout with 4-6 lines (2-3 bars) being an exception. I liked how you told this story. It was very realistic how the world acts today. This can be taken literal (as in a woman going for the crown) or in a metaphorical way that relates to the USA being the woman, the crown being "ruler of the world" type steez. hard to explain, but I know what I'm trying to say. Like I said, imagery was strong, and the writer's voice in your piece was definately top notch. This was a great verse to read, and I'm glad I came in here. One thing I have to criticize about your verse is the use of foul language, as pussy as it sounds. I think someone who uses "fucking" and "shit" more than once (as a whole) in a verse really doesn't have what it takes to come up with some different wording. Other than that, your verse was immaculate.

Overall, this was a great battle. Both came to the table with top notch verses, making it a great battle to read and vote on.

Vote - Got Life?

Now, before anyone 'beefs' with me about my vote, I want you to know I spent a good amount of time on this battle reading, re-reading, critiquing, and voting. If you don't count my vote on account that me and GL? are "Hooligans of Cyber Rap" (although it's not a real crew we're a shit talking regime) than fine, but that's just gay. Just throwing that out there, and again - I think my vote will explain itself.

- Weez

[J o o k]

Mound advances.