Round 2: 11. Trybz vs. 14. L Dogg VOTE!

[J o o k]

The New RSTL Rules and Regulations

VERSES DUE:Friday 11:59 pm EST. NO RECYCLING.

Verses posted after the deadline will not count! UNLESS you post your verse before mods close threads (for some odd reason), and your opponent agrees to let your verse stand.

VOTES DUE: Sunday 8 PM PST. 4 votes per participant, POST LINKS in your match. Each link not posted will result in a 1 vote deduction up to 4 votes obviously.

*Votes posted after deadline will not count in a tie or a close match, thus possibly resulting in a loss. GET YOUR VOTES IN.
You are also required to vote on the Championship, and Contendership match which will be included in your 4 votes.

If you are not in the league you cannot vote, unless you are an ex champion. Ex champions must vote on a minimum of 4 battles for their votes to count.

*Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match exists) is encouraged but not required.

*Verses MUST incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines.

*Anyone who does not post at least 4 lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show.

*During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit.

*Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a no-show.

* EXSTENSTIONS will be granted on a case by case basis.

*If your opponent no shows you will still be held accountable for posting TWO VOTES.

*Votes must at least be 2 lines in length for each verse.

NO SHOWS WILL COUNT AS A LOSS.

Lastly: Moderators have FINAL say over all situations that arise.

Amendments

1. Mods can vote.

2. You're opponent automatically gets the same extension deadline.

3. You cannot win a championship by no show. You will become the number #1 seed, but you must win by vote to be a champion. This does not apply for defenses.

[LDogg The King]

im here are you?

[Trybz]

take it easy on me will ya

; )

[LDogg The King]

“Never attempt to murder a man who is committing suicide.”

Old "One Eye" Jack River, comfortably sitting in his brown leather chair positioned next to his collection of biographical journals, which rest in the private library under his Seattle based home, is a wise man with many stories. Today, he shares one with you.
.
.
.

.
.
.
Long ago in Seattle, in dark-street night with street-light glare
inside the busy city channels, there were secrets that nobody shared, like nobody was there….
People to busy coping with broken homes to repair
And my parents weren’t a pair to have an affair...because my old man, he really cared…
But there I had it, broccoli and carrots added, In my face, on my plate, parents with mutual hate
But that was on the inside, on the out it was beautiful, great
Beautiful and great? who would of thought Well, everyone did, because everyone talked
In the barbershop… where they both worked... Never knowing that they both hurt
He would smile, but hid how he had fun with bitches, From my mom, just so they could run the business

for years she cut hair there... Listening to their stories, all the stuff they'd say in the chair
How jealous they were… they would see the hugs... and kisses she received… she must be in love
He was always leaving though, and it made her sad
her father left her as a child and she hated him, so this made her mad
people couldn’t believe after all the years past
That she still loved giving my dear father that ass.
they would laugh, he wasn’t the prettiest guy,
but he was kind and had the prettiest eyes
sometimes looking into mine made her cry, glad he made her his wife
she could see that fine guy inside them who gave her this life

she would have done anything for him, he let her share the barbershop
a place that she could meet with friends, where it wasn’t hard to talk
he stopped in on some days, specially on Sunday
and took mom to the bathroom for oral, just one way
always acted like he loved her, but I guess behind the scenes
he was tired of his boring life, an wanted to try an find his dreams

I was shocked to discover my pops liked to have other lovers
I stopped drinking my beer and walked out to the hot night of the summer
I thought for 2 seconds,
stopped and walked back in the bar, confused, I guess an
sat by my deranged father ready with a few questions..
in his strange head, an obsession, a powerless guilt
a man who in a few hours was killed…
he could no longer live in the guilt of his sins
and was ready for a new life to build and begin
he looked at me and said

“boy, today is the day
that I take my life, I don’t know what made me this way
If I don’t look at her face god wont take me the same
so I must die in her eyes…
because I despise this liar who hides”

I told him no but he wouldn’t listen
He felt there was no other way to be forgiven
But I couldn’t let him destroy my mothers feelings
For him to die, he would be doing more than killing
Himself, that selfish no good guy deserved hell
I couldn’t believe he would have the nerve to tell…
Just think what everyone would say, how destroyed she'd be
Plus having to live with the virus given to her…Why was his choice to cheat!!!

He went home to tell her, but on the way I stabbed him in the legs
And watched him crawl on the ground in pain until I jabbed him in the face
I heard a noise and looked left, to see her shape and a blade
The same one my father would use on his face when he shaved
“What Have You Done!” she screamed, I said “Mom, He Is A Skilled Cheat!
he was coming to tell you, an end his life so you would see his guilt and believe!"
but she refused to believe, still hoping her husband wasn’t the dead guy
when she saw it was, she lost her mind, the lights glared off of my left eye...
all she could do was stare at my eyes as they moved above death
the same eyes her husband had, only alive, and in a few breaths
she charged me with the intent to scar me, her arm seen slicing around my eyes
until she cut the left one out, and held it agonizing on the ground as she cried
I fled the scene hoping she would forgive me someday, if I came around
but five years later she died from the virus strain that was found
and I never had the chance to hear her say it, so now
I look up an pray loud hoping she will say it so, down

The END

Jack Closes the Book with a tear in his eye, shuts the light to his basement library off and walks back upstairs where he soon will lay down and die in his sleep. Maybe in death he will be forgiven...

[Trybz]

ld, cut your verse down or im taking the "vote per line over the limit" rule.

[LDogg The King]

ok puss the line limit is fixed for you

[Trybz]

8th grade graduation, I stood with a feared look
As I let my best friend, sign my last year book
It said,

"Dear hook, I love you, we even have our own language
Please don't leave me alone in anguish,
Call me daily, even if it late at night it's cool
I wish you didn't have to go off to private school,
But they call you Hook for a reason Brett
Because in the ring you haven't been defeated yet
Just remember me as the troublemaker who dreamed to be an artist
And kept your head in my arms, when you appeared to be heartless
The girl who wants two kids, and to married before I do so
And basically live life however I choose so.
But always for God,
And oh I almost forgot
Don't listen to people who say you're weak, because you're not
You're a strong man, I know your father says different
But when you're having doubts, remember you're the best in it".

Her writing seized, I closed my year book without reading
I held her tightly for one last hug, without breathing
I wanted to hear her heart, or maybe something she wouldn't say
But her mom was honking the horn, and I knew she couldn't stay

So 10 years passed, I haven't seen Suzie at all
The last time I heard of her was about last fall
When Nat called, and told me she heard a rumor
That little Suzie had died of a tumor,
But Nat's word, was always a little backwards
And to think of Suzie dead, well that hurts.
She was the only one to support me with my dads abuse
Saw me cry, saw me beat, yet she never changed her attitude
I even remember one cold night, my dad was drunk
And he went to the shed to grab his gun
When he came back he pointed straight for me
This symbolized his hate for me
He use to box as well, he was nicknamed Paul the Shepard
And he was good to me til I broke all his records

But I'm grown, and live on my own now
Won golden gloves consecutively and wear a gold towel
One morning I was out shopping, when I heard a familiar voice
Then I decided to turn to the young woman making a peculiar choice
Picking through the plums and shaking it near her ears
Just like Suzie,
Because one day she bit into an earwig, so it was one of her fears.
Then I looked away for a second, and she disappeared
Through the aisle so I gave chase, it was clear
That it was Suzie, had she knew it was me?
So the aisles I just ran through them with glee
There was fire in my heart, and it flared
She's not here nor there, I started to get scared
I ran to the exit, with a mound of hope
Nothing, but then I found a note

It read:

Dear Hook,
You have grown into an hansom man,
With morals, plus your God fearing, and that's the plan
You see God sent me to look over you when your childhood was shaky
So I did, but all you did was make me,
Act impure because I developed feelings for you,
And I tried to make them seize but more and more grew
So now I am leaving for good, since you no longer need a friend
I promise someday we'll meet again
But for now just be thankful, sharing and happy
That I'll be able to look at my own reflection with out darkness staring back at me.

[Lucifa]

not a bad battle ..

LDogg ~ this was a pretty enjoyable read kid .. definitely one of your better pieces this season .. the story telling was solid and had no real flaws in that aspect .. it was an easy to follow piece held together with some good imagery work .. the flow wasn't so solid but I assume having to re-structure to suit Trybz' bitch moves didn't help with that .. I liked how you used the images you chose for your piece too .. nice read ..

Tyrbz ~ are you so insecure about your writing that you constantly need to pull bitch moves regarding line length? .. grow a vagina ffs .. anyways .. this piece was straight .. the flow was slightly better than L's .. the imagery and descriptive work was not .. and neither was the vocab in general .. the story itself was pretty much on par though .. the concept and direction in which you went with the content in relation to the image was pretty good .. some lines didn't make the most sense either .. that earwig line in particular just stuck out like "wtf?" .. summed it up quite nicely at the end though .. not bad ..

Vote = LDogg .. not a million miles apart in quality .. but there certainly is enough of a gap to give this a clear winner for me .. Trybz had more faults with his piece although he wasn't blown out the water here .. both had decent aspects to mechanics and an equally interesting read .. LDogg's was just more interesting, entertaining and with a slightly stronger grasp on the mechanics ..

[Trybz]

Mods please remove lucifas vote from the standing. A person who accuses me of pulling a bitch move can hardly vote non biasly. That was a hate vote if I ever seen one.

To answer your question, there are rules for a reason. Since I follow them, so will my opponent. Besides I whipped you pretty fair and square herb. Stay out of my battle next week too, and the championship after that.

Stay on the sidelines where I put you.

[LDogg The King]

are you really gonna try and pull the take a vote away hate vote routine on me, L dogg, when everyone but like 2 people who vote in this league have reason to hate vote me... the line limit shit was a bitch move, so I can see why other people would think that... people dont go out of their way to try and make someone change it, and the fact it was only like 6 lines over makes it even more gay, but it took me 1 sec to press backspace and connect lines so its all good... but that vote is just as legit as any that will come in, in my eyes so I hope the mods take into account the type of voter lucifa is, the detailed vote and the overall of a match like this before subtracting anything.... u wont see me subtracting shit from this match cuz I let the votes come as they will and not be a bitch about them. the mods can subtract the ones they see fit... I almost didnt even reply back to what you said but you got too cocky with ya words trynna sway shit and u livin in dream land..

[Mound 10]

L Dogg interesting approach with the introduction. It lead me to believe this piece was actually going to be good. But I was mistaken. It was complete trash. You didn't say shit in 64 lines beside your dad cheating on your mother then you kill him and your mom doesn't believe in the reason you killed your father because she just happens to be there (far fetched). Then she cuts out your eye. This shit was whack. You need to develop your creativity. I could have told the same story you did in 16 lines, with out all that filler that put me to sleep.


Trybz I was trying to figure out where you were taking me the whole time and still never knew until the note on the ground. That was a creative twist. The flow was a bit off in places. I liked the character background and how familiarized us with your main character very well. Good, solid piece, but work on the flow.

Vote - Trybz for the creativity, though L edged him in flow.

[Got Life?]

L - I read this feeling like I had read it before...then again maybe i'm just bugging and I forgot that I read it earlier...whichever the case...interesting story to an extent...nothing over the top crazy, but the imagery was decent, the progression wasn't bad, the character development was pretty good and the flow was solid...

Trybz - the story was kind of cool, I like the whole guardian angel spin you put on it and the character was developed rather well...some elementry rhyme scheme usage here and there and a slightly choppy flow, but if you polish it up this could be a really good piece.

Honestly this is a really even battle so what it comes down to is what each of you did with the topic...L, you couldn't have been more literal in your take on things...Trybz you actually delivered a pretty creative story based on the topic at hand.

vote = Trybz.

[Lucifa]

Originally Posted by Trybz

Mods please remove lucifas vote from the standing. A person who accuses me of pulling a bitch move can hardly vote non biasly. That was a hate vote if I ever seen one.

To answer your question, there are rules for a reason. Since I follow them, so will my opponent. Besides I whipped you pretty fair and square herb. Stay out of my battle next week too, and the championship after that.

Stay on the sidelines where I put you.

lmao @ you ..

well done on writing a story last week .. that's what won it .. don't ever think it is your "talent" .. cos you went up against a 6 year old audio piece last week .. a topical vs a story .. and 9 times out of 10 the story will win that match up ..

ask for the vote to be discounted .. it bothers me? ..

[J o o k]

Trybz wins.