Contendership: 3. Juked (3-0) vs.4. S. Issue (6-3)

J o o k · 12-31-2007, 12:11 AM

The New RSTL Rules and Regulations

VERSES DUE:Friday 11:59 pm EST. NO RECYCLING.

Verses posted after the deadline will not count! UNLESS you post your verse before mods close threads (for some odd reason), and your opponent agrees to let your verse stand.

VOTES DUE: Sunday 8 PM PST. 4 votes per participant, POST LINKS in your match. Each link not posted will result in a 1 vote deduction up to 4 votes obviously.

*Votes posted after deadline will not count in a tie or a close match, thus possibly resulting in a loss. GET YOUR VOTES IN.
You are also required to vote on the Championship, and Contendership match which will be included in your 4 votes.

If you are not in the league you cannot vote, unless you are an ex champion. Ex champions must vote on a minimum of 4 battles for their votes to count.

*Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match exists) is encouraged but not required.

*Verses MUST incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines.

*Anyone who does not post at least 4 lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show.

*During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit.

*Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a no-show.

* EXSTENSTIONS will be granted on a case by case basis.

*If your opponent no shows you will still be held accountable for posting TWO VOTES.

*Votes must at least be 2 lines in length for each verse.

NO SHOWS WILL COUNT AS A LOSS.

Lastly: Moderators have FINAL say over all situations that arise.

Amendments

1. Mods can vote.

2. You're opponent automatically gets the same extension deadline.

3. You cannot win a championship by no show. You will become the number #1 seed, but you must win by vote to be a champion. This does not apply for defenses.

S. Issue · 12-31-2007, 12:17 PM

in it.

votes:
15. .ApoGee. (4-3) vs. 16. Bonnie (4-1)
5. Got Life? (9-4) vs. 6. Macmili (2-0)
13. TheReturn (9-1) vs. 14. DaAlmightyDolla (6-4)
7. vada (7-2) vs. 8. TeKneeK (3-1)

S. Issue · 01-03-2008, 09:18 PM

Yo, Juked and J o o k.

do either of you have a problem with me going over the line limit by a bit? it wont be a book, but im not sure if i will make 64. just let me know either way...

S. Issue · 01-04-2008, 07:55 PM

"The Torso Killer"
The True story of Richard Cottingham

Since youth, it was obvious I was different and very distant
from the neighborhood kids as my uniqueness persisted,
but I grew out of youthful rage; I had somehow changed.
Becoming secluded from other children and set in my ways.
My days became a beacon of light. Shadowed only by night,
as I laid in wait for her voice, which made me right.
School sounded like a hive of bees, coming alive with each
day darkening as my resolve fought their tries to teach
me about how I should be. But I was a changed person,
caught and immersed in my soul's bold excursion.
Now I'm in this hotel awaiting the clock's chiming bell,
the ring comes shrill and isolates me in this stymied hell.
Huddled, by the shower stall between the door and wall
biding time until my sanctuary's eventual fall,
I hear a voice, through static and dripping of the spout,
"Why don't you just get to your business and get out."
More broken silence, shattered by my captives stridence
as they speak and pray for their God's guidance...

...Doctors would whisper, engaged with my strives to change,
each day I would mix happiness, my smiles and rage.
One day the prettiest girl, hair in curls and twirled,
turned around to face me in class, changing my world,
and asked me if I was single. Would I accompany her
to the upcoming Spring social? She would not be deterred.
So we laughed and danced our way through the night,
kissing her full, swollen lips in the thin strips of moonlight...

Staring into her pale face; those brown eyes disgraced
by the filth of the room and lack of food's fresh taste
on black and blue lips. The only color she wears is bruises
and no matter where she goes or how she pleads, she loses.
Hands wrap around the throat, her screams are choked
out from stifled lungs and she can't seem to emote.
Suddenly my rough, calloused hands unleash their grasp
and allow life back into the little girl's heaving gasps,
she seems mad. Why would anyone do this to them,
she asks grabbing at her dress; tattered frills and hem.
Cowering on the bed side by side, they both begin to cry,
begging me not to kill them as if they see it in my eyes.
Taking to their bodies, tied tight but roped sloppy
as I lean over them. Emotions growing rocky.
Two handfuls of hair and then blood enters the air,
both of them, victims of my internal warfare.

...No one knew that we were a part of the chosen few
but Rosie grew to love me like movie stars often do,
as if I was Romeo and she, Juliette in the flesh.
A year went by, said she wanted the best, nothing less.
She nick-named me Rich and called me every night
as she would go to bed, my heart set to ignite.
But one day it came crashing down, all of my dreams,
and she left town overnight, silent as the moon beamed.

Showering my pits and crotch as Rosie sits by to watch,
and the blood comes off easily with soap and cloth.
Throwing my shirt and pants on their mutilated bodies
as flames lick toward my room's door and I head for the lobby.
Reaching the elevator doors, I go down to the main floor
and nearly run over another guest, whom I ignore.
Heads and pairs of hands in my bag, reaching out for his leg,
but his pants are merely rustled; he's not hearing them beg.
Suddenly I feel remorse and turn back to the hotel's desk.
Pay for my room and leave...
I'm no monster. Maybe, forgetful at best.

...'The boy will certainly have some issues once he has matured,
and rest assured, he may be helped, though he can not be cured.
He needs to be institutionalized before someone goes dead.'
That is what my psychiatrist said, before he went and lost his head...

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to
make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Good luck Juked. Hopefully you have time to post tonight. Deuces.

Juked · 01-04-2008, 11:00 PM

hey s.issue and jook do you think i could get an short extension??

the power is out at my house and nearly everywhere around me. Im on my friends sidekick right now..

J o o k · 01-05-2008, 03:20 AM

Granted. The powers been out all day. We live in the same area so I know you're not lying.

S. Issue · 01-05-2008, 12:01 PM

cool by me anyway. :]

Juked · 01-05-2008, 03:27 PM

Beauty is the Beast

Everyday the rising sun saluted his cash cow;
His bronze armor and radiant glow that amassed crowds
Whom became part of him like the flashes and snap sounds
That captured the in genuine smile and waxed brows
Of a monkey of a man who would dance for the town
The man was a metro…David Beckham in the flesh
Removing more than guilt when getting something off his chest
And all the rest like the trained locks on top his head
Were chameleonesque ranging from dread locks to a tapered hedge
Everyday half naked he was followed from his front door
Waving to lone flower in his garden wishing for something more

He was nameless, Just an angel dressed in the dreamiest attire
Beauty encapsulated, a symbol of our deepest desires
Since he was hired, all identity soon became lost
He became known as Marc Jacobs, Gucci, or Luis Vuitton
Perfection with a suit on, societies praised and renowned
Just a flawless piñata for the flawed to parade around
And maim to the ground with piercing shots from kanons
Which split him open…leaving his insides on the ground
In the form of one letter that suddenly made way around
And famous became the day Marc Jacobs couldn’t be found

To Everyone…

The flowers outside are red, they blossomed in the spring
You know this as I know this, our knowledge is synched
Rain drenched the valley, moisture formed among our lips
We could taste the revival, we’re nearly joined at the hip
We can walk along the river all day, resisting temptation
Quench our thirsts later, our throats will miss the sensation
Yet…
We can walk up to an honest man and ask for an honest chance
My eyes will appease him, your eyes will be longing demands
We can plead for him to listen…tell him he’s dead wrong
My face will captivate him…my pleas will spur head nods
Your face will relate to him…he will snap out of my trance
Your pleas will relate to him…he will map out your rants
You see..
The flowers outside are beautiful, you stare at them in awe
How can the flowers relate to you, they stare at you in awe
You feel need to deceive, truths to fair to tell
Well appearances deceives, our worlds aren’t parallel
The long smooth stem of a lonely lone flower
Is handled too often
I’m useless with one and only power
In this world I don’t belong, so if you must know
If you want Marc Jacobs
You’ll find him where the flower still grows

Love, The Nameless One

The sun rose the next mourning…the followers were lead
Not but Marc himself but by the letter in which they read
Taken to a small patch of soil in which beauty took form
In red petals blooming from a jacket that hardly looked worn
On the body of a beast who’s face was hard to looked upon
And beneath the bloodied wrist was a slip still clenched in grip
That read Jacob L. Rose as the snap shots commenced again….

Got Life? · 01-05-2008, 06:30 PM

so, this battle wasn't half bad...

Juked - your verse is fresher in my mind so I'll start with you, this was actually rather refreshing, the images you presented were fresh and tasteful, and this flowed well for the most part...if I could see the connection between it all this would be phenomenal...I think there's where you lost me though, you presented a lot, but you never really tied it all together or presented it in a concievable fashion...

S.I. - another psycho chopping off heads...hmm...eh, I'm not a fan of decapitation...not without a reason other than psychosis anyway...maybe for a mantle piece, but yea...the imagery was cool, the flow was a bit stretched, the writers voice was really good though, yet this piece could definitely use some better character development as opposed to the jumps and lapses here and there...

really this could go either way, but I think S.I.'s piece had better clarity so my vote is for S. Issue.

Macmili · 01-05-2008, 08:29 PM

sissue- i am not great at interpreting these types of verses, I read the whole thing and couldn't piece it all together, like the second verse never really clicked with me what ended up happening with the young girl after the "social"?, idk if she was one of the girls he killed in the hotel or if that was someone he met later in his life, idk, maybe my heat is turned up too high but I really didn't understand a good amount of your verse, however the flow stayed on cue

juked- again, another transcendental verse that I can't comprehend, to be honest the only thing I got out of your verse was that some guy worked at a business and he was attractive and intelligent... and then somebody killed him. it really seemed like you rushed this verse, I've seen way better from you

only difference between sissues verse and juke's is s issues flows better, neither have a clear storyline, to be honest.

vote- s issue

.ApoGee. · 01-06-2008, 12:07 AM

S.I- Nice!. This was overall a good drop. You had good imagery. I am turned off by your stretch lines, I mean, most people in the league stretch their lines and it gets annoying, Lol.Your wording was coo, I wasn't interested but it was coo. The flow was a lil bit choppy, but toward the ending it made up for it. The concept was good but I can't stand this, every piece I'm reading it has something to do with death or someone being abused. So I was a bit bored but the approach you've took kept me entertained also the narration. Although, I' don't think your piece was 'build up' to its highest peak/climax. I just feel there is something is missing, like GL? said, the character developement wasn't nearly there so I was a bit left thinking, 'wha?', but at the end it all came together. Again, overall Nice drop.

Juked- This was an Ok drop. I felt there were two pieces at one but with different thoughts. I just feel that your piece meshed together the first and the second, it just confused me. At first I was like "hmmmm Nice", then when I got to the 2nd part, I was like "Huh, wha?" and the ending was a bit surprised, not like a twist verse or something but I was just left empty. There wasn't a good build up in your peace to let the concept flow easily and the mechanics were poor. Again, Ok drop

V/ S.I. Entertained me the most.

Lucifa · 01-06-2008, 08:46 AM

I dunno how this conterdership works considering there will be no champ match next week .. but in all honesty .. both Nah Son and Eye-Rime would stomp on these verses ..

Iss - the flow and ease of read was what kept my interest the most here .. the content was ok but far from original or entertaining .. but the narration of the story itself was riddled with flaws that confused and disengaged me from what was going on .. some of the imagery was cool and like I say .. the flow was good considering how seemingly long the lines were .. overall it was a good read of poorly told story ..

Juked - iono what to say tbh .. I wasn't feeling this a whole lot .. when Jook made a thread to point out that you had joined the RSTL I was expecting a beast to be up in here .. someone that would be challenging the likes of TheReturn and Vada for props .. but on this evidence .. I don't see it .. now it's not that I think the verse is whack or even weak .. it just fell flat .. flow wasn't all that strong and the content was less engaging than Iss's gaps in his story .. but through that I do see evidence of experience .. it just wasn't put to good use ..

Vote = S.Issue .. made a little more sense and flowed better .. that's about all that splits this .. now I've hurt my shoulder and maybe that's not put in best spirits .. but I really couldn't find any redeeming features in reading such a long battle as this ..

Bonnie Bathory · 01-06-2008, 08:03 PM

Lemme start off by sayin Ima bit of a grump today, so I'm likely to be more rude and critical than sweet and forgiving in my votes, its nothin personal...

S.I.: I loved your flow throughout your first verse... got all the way through the whole story, it was easy to follow yet still skillfully written, no weird or awkward lines to read or understand... flow was consistantly varied throughout and easy to follow as well, love stories about serial killers... great drop, written well, creative, etc.

Juked: Halfway thru the note from Marc Jacobs and Im like ZzZ at the story... the flow is alright, nothing awkward or hard to follow about it but nothing particularly impressive either... restarting from the note from Marc Jacobs... I really didnt like the writing in the note part, it was simple in flow and complex in concept and I guess that just isn't a style I am feeling this week as I have consistantly voted against it in 3 other matches tonight... I suppose I prefer complexity in flow and simplicity in concept, and not even so much simplicity as engaging... the last verse was written ok...

So, Vote> S.I. for the more interesting and skillfully written read

TeKneeK · 01-06-2008, 09:49 PM

Juked's imagery I thought was a 89...

Issue's style was a 85

Juked's wordplay was a 87

Issue's narrative was a 88

Juked's overall score to me was an 86

Issue's overall score was an 85

Juked's verse is more vivid and more smoother in description ... the wordplay makes his piece more colorful.....

vote juke.

S. Issue · 01-06-2008, 10:16 PM

yo, honestly Tek?
im not one of bitch, but that vote doesnt deserve the fucking count its going to get. if youre going to vote on someone's piece, give it a real fucking vote.

TeKneeK · 01-06-2008, 10:19 PM

GOT LIFE loves to put me on the shit list.... u got this match easy... im putting this in for his savoring of writing me up again on next week's mag... dont take it personal.... this is just for my shine.. LOL...

12-31-2007, 12:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
J o o k free the oppressed. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Bay Area, Ca Posts: 9,652	Contendership: 3. Juked (3-0) vs.4. S. Issue (6-3) The New RSTL Rules and Regulations VERSES DUE:Friday 11:59 pm EST. NO RECYCLING. Verses posted after the deadline will not count! UNLESS you post your verse before mods close threads (for some odd reason), and your opponent agrees to let your verse stand. VOTES DUE: Sunday 8 PM PST. 4 votes per participant, POST LINKS in your match. Each link not posted will result in a 1 vote deduction up to 4 votes obviously. Votes posted after deadline will not count in a tie or a close match, thus possibly resulting in a loss. GET YOUR VOTES IN. You are also required to vote on the Championship, and Contendership match which will be included in your 4 votes. If you are not in the league you cannot vote, unless you are an ex champion. Ex champions must vote on a minimum of 4 battles for their votes to count. Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match exists) is encouraged but not required. Verses MUST incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines. Anyone who does not post at least 4 lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show. During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit. Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a no-show. * EXSTENSTIONS will be granted on a case by case basis. If your opponent no shows you will still be held accountable for posting TWO VOTES. Votes must at least be 2 lines in length for each verse. NO SHOWS WILL COUNT AS A LOSS. Lastly: Moderators have FINAL say over all situations that arise. Amendments 1. Mods can vote. 2. You're opponent automatically gets the same extension deadline. 3. You cannot win a championship by no show. You will become the number #1 seed, but you must win by vote to be a champion. This does not apply for defenses. __________________ "Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal food or water, in austere conditions, training day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon. He doesn't worry about what workout to do - his ruck weighs what it weighs, his runs end when the enemy stops chasing him. This True Believer is not concerned about 'how hard it is;' he knows either he wins or dies. He doesn't go home at 17:00, he is home. He knows only The Cause." Win or Die. Still want to quit?

12-31-2007, 12:17 PM	#2 (permalink)
S. Issue Who? Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Bloomington, IN Posts: 762	in it. votes: 15. .ApoGee. (4-3) vs. 16. Bonnie (4-1) 5. Got Life? (9-4) vs. 6. Macmili (2-0) 13. TheReturn (9-1) vs. 14. DaAlmightyDolla (6-4) 7. vada (7-2) vs. 8. TeKneeK (3-1) __________________ wrong, or write? Last edited by S. Issue; 01-06-2008 at 12:20 PM.

01-03-2008, 09:18 PM	#3 (permalink)
S. Issue Who? Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Bloomington, IN Posts: 762	Yo, Juked and J o o k. do either of you have a problem with me going over the line limit by a bit? it wont be a book, but im not sure if i will make 64. just let me know either way... __________________ wrong, or write?

01-04-2008, 07:55 PM	#4 (permalink)
S. Issue Who? Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Bloomington, IN Posts: 762	"The Torso Killer" The True story of Richard Cottingham Since youth, it was obvious I was different and very distant from the neighborhood kids as my uniqueness persisted, but I grew out of youthful rage; I had somehow changed. Becoming secluded from other children and set in my ways. My days became a beacon of light. Shadowed only by night, as I laid in wait for her voice, which made me right. School sounded like a hive of bees, coming alive with each day darkening as my resolve fought their tries to teach me about how I should be. But I was a changed person, caught and immersed in my soul's bold excursion. Now I'm in this hotel awaiting the clock's chiming bell, the ring comes shrill and isolates me in this stymied hell. Huddled, by the shower stall between the door and wall biding time until my sanctuary's eventual fall, I hear a voice, through static and dripping of the spout, "Why don't you just get to your business and get out." More broken silence, shattered by my captives stridence as they speak and pray for their God's guidance... ...Doctors would whisper, engaged with my strives to change, each day I would mix happiness, my smiles and rage. One day the prettiest girl, hair in curls and twirled, turned around to face me in class, changing my world, and asked me if I was single. Would I accompany her to the upcoming Spring social? She would not be deterred. So we laughed and danced our way through the night, kissing her full, swollen lips in the thin strips of moonlight... Staring into her pale face; those brown eyes disgraced by the filth of the room and lack of food's fresh taste on black and blue lips. The only color she wears is bruises and no matter where she goes or how she pleads, she loses. Hands wrap around the throat, her screams are choked out from stifled lungs and she can't seem to emote. Suddenly my rough, calloused hands unleash their grasp and allow life back into the little girl's heaving gasps, she seems mad. Why would anyone do this to them, she asks grabbing at her dress; tattered frills and hem. Cowering on the bed side by side, they both begin to cry, begging me not to kill them as if they see it in my eyes. Taking to their bodies, tied tight but roped sloppy as I lean over them. Emotions growing rocky. Two handfuls of hair and then blood enters the air, both of them, victims of my internal warfare. ...No one knew that we were a part of the chosen few but Rosie grew to love me like movie stars often do, as if I was Romeo and she, Juliette in the flesh. A year went by, said she wanted the best, nothing less. She nick-named me Rich and called me every night as she would go to bed, my heart set to ignite. But one day it came crashing down, all of my dreams, and she left town overnight, silent as the moon beamed. Showering my pits and crotch as Rosie sits by to watch, and the blood comes off easily with soap and cloth. Throwing my shirt and pants on their mutilated bodies as flames lick toward my room's door and I head for the lobby. Reaching the elevator doors, I go down to the main floor and nearly run over another guest, whom I ignore. Heads and pairs of hands in my bag, reaching out for his leg, but his pants are merely rustled; he's not hearing them beg. Suddenly I feel remorse and turn back to the hotel's desk. Pay for my room and leave... I'm no monster. Maybe, forgetful at best. ...'The boy will certainly have some issues once he has matured, and rest assured, he may be helped, though he can not be cured. He needs to be institutionalized before someone goes dead.' That is what my psychiatrist said, before he went and lost his head... "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." -Ralph Waldo Emerson Good luck Juked. Hopefully you have time to post tonight. Deuces. __________________ wrong, or write?

01-05-2008, 03:20 AM	#6 (permalink)
J o o k free the oppressed. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Bay Area, Ca Posts: 9,652	Granted. The powers been out all day. We live in the same area so I know you're not lying. __________________ "Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal food or water, in austere conditions, training day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon. He doesn't worry about what workout to do - his ruck weighs what it weighs, his runs end when the enemy stops chasing him. This True Believer is not concerned about 'how hard it is;' he knows either he wins or dies. He doesn't go home at 17:00, he is home. He knows only The Cause." Win or Die. Still want to quit?

01-04-2008, 11:00 PM	#5 (permalink)
Juked like 20 of the Lions. Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Bay Area Posts: 341	hey s.issue and jook do you think i could get an short extension?? the power is out at my house and nearly everywhere around me. Im on my friends sidekick right now..

01-05-2008, 12:01 PM	#7 (permalink)
S. Issue Who? Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Bloomington, IN Posts: 762	cool by me anyway. :] __________________ wrong, or write?

01-05-2008, 03:27 PM	#8 (permalink)
Juked like 20 of the Lions. Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Bay Area Posts: 341	Beauty is the Beast Everyday the rising sun saluted his cash cow; His bronze armor and radiant glow that amassed crowds Whom became part of him like the flashes and snap sounds That captured the in genuine smile and waxed brows Of a monkey of a man who would dance for the town The man was a metro…David Beckham in the flesh Removing more than guilt when getting something off his chest And all the rest like the trained locks on top his head Were chameleonesque ranging from dread locks to a tapered hedge Everyday half naked he was followed from his front door Waving to lone flower in his garden wishing for something more He was nameless, Just an angel dressed in the dreamiest attire Beauty encapsulated, a symbol of our deepest desires Since he was hired, all identity soon became lost He became known as Marc Jacobs, Gucci, or Luis Vuitton Perfection with a suit on, societies praised and renowned Just a flawless piñata for the flawed to parade around And maim to the ground with piercing shots from kanons Which split him open…leaving his insides on the ground In the form of one letter that suddenly made way around And famous became the day Marc Jacobs couldn’t be found To Everyone… The flowers outside are red, they blossomed in the spring You know this as I know this, our knowledge is synched Rain drenched the valley, moisture formed among our lips We could taste the revival, we’re nearly joined at the hip We can walk along the river all day, resisting temptation Quench our thirsts later, our throats will miss the sensation Yet… We can walk up to an honest man and ask for an honest chance My eyes will appease him, your eyes will be longing demands We can plead for him to listen…tell him he’s dead wrong My face will captivate him…my pleas will spur head nods Your face will relate to him…he will snap out of my trance Your pleas will relate to him…he will map out your rants You see.. The flowers outside are beautiful, you stare at them in awe How can the flowers relate to you, they stare at you in awe You feel need to deceive, truths to fair to tell Well appearances deceives, our worlds aren’t parallel The long smooth stem of a lonely lone flower Is handled too often I’m useless with one and only power In this world I don’t belong, so if you must know If you want Marc Jacobs You’ll find him where the flower still grows Love, The Nameless One The sun rose the next mourning…the followers were lead Not but Marc himself but by the letter in which they read Taken to a small patch of soil in which beauty took form In red petals blooming from a jacket that hardly looked worn On the body of a beast who’s face was hard to looked upon And beneath the bloodied wrist was a slip still clenched in grip That read Jacob L. Rose as the snap shots commenced again…. Last edited by Juked; 01-05-2008 at 03:34 PM.

01-05-2008, 08:29 PM	#10 (permalink)
Macmili Permanently Trippin Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: A remote one. Posts: 2,417	sissue- i am not great at interpreting these types of verses, I read the whole thing and couldn't piece it all together, like the second verse never really clicked with me what ended up happening with the young girl after the "social"?, idk if she was one of the girls he killed in the hotel or if that was someone he met later in his life, idk, maybe my heat is turned up too high but I really didn't understand a good amount of your verse, however the flow stayed on cue juked- again, another transcendental verse that I can't comprehend, to be honest the only thing I got out of your verse was that some guy worked at a business and he was attractive and intelligent... and then somebody killed him. it really seemed like you rushed this verse, I've seen way better from you only difference between sissues verse and juke's is s issues flows better, neither have a clear storyline, to be honest. vote- s issue __________________ fucking old sig, new one coming soon

01-06-2008, 12:07 AM	#11 (permalink)
.ApoGee. Keep The Peace. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 159	S.I- Nice!. This was overall a good drop. You had good imagery. I am turned off by your stretch lines, I mean, most people in the league stretch their lines and it gets annoying, Lol.Your wording was coo, I wasn't interested but it was coo. The flow was a lil bit choppy, but toward the ending it made up for it. The concept was good but I can't stand this, every piece I'm reading it has something to do with death or someone being abused. So I was a bit bored but the approach you've took kept me entertained also the narration. Although, I' don't think your piece was 'build up' to its highest peak/climax. I just feel there is something is missing, like GL? said, the character developement wasn't nearly there so I was a bit left thinking, 'wha?', but at the end it all came together. Again, overall Nice drop. Juked- This was an Ok drop. I felt there were two pieces at one but with different thoughts. I just feel that your piece meshed together the first and the second, it just confused me. At first I was like "hmmmm Nice", then when I got to the 2nd part, I was like "Huh, wha?" and the ending was a bit surprised, not like a twist verse or something but I was just left empty. There wasn't a good build up in your peace to let the concept flow easily and the mechanics were poor. Again, Ok drop V/ S.I. Entertained me the most. __________________ P.L.U.R. Peace.Love.Unity.Respect.

01-06-2008, 08:46 AM	#12 (permalink)
Lucifa Viva La Eva Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: United Kingdom Status: Rumba Raving Posts: 16,787	I dunno how this conterdership works considering there will be no champ match next week .. but in all honesty .. both Nah Son and Eye-Rime would stomp on these verses .. Iss - the flow and ease of read was what kept my interest the most here .. the content was ok but far from original or entertaining .. but the narration of the story itself was riddled with flaws that confused and disengaged me from what was going on .. some of the imagery was cool and like I say .. the flow was good considering how seemingly long the lines were .. overall it was a good read of poorly told story .. Juked - iono what to say tbh .. I wasn't feeling this a whole lot .. when Jook made a thread to point out that you had joined the RSTL I was expecting a beast to be up in here .. someone that would be challenging the likes of TheReturn and Vada for props .. but on this evidence .. I don't see it .. now it's not that I think the verse is whack or even weak .. it just fell flat .. flow wasn't all that strong and the content was less engaging than Iss's gaps in his story .. but through that I do see evidence of experience .. it just wasn't put to good use .. Vote = S.Issue .. made a little more sense and flowed better .. that's about all that splits this .. now I've hurt my shoulder and maybe that's not put in best spirits .. but I really couldn't find any redeeming features in reading such a long battle as this .. __________________ Boy Better Know TMU Na Na Nai RSTL Ironman Tournament is up & running

01-06-2008, 08:03 PM	#13 (permalink)
Bonnie Bathory Friday's Child Join Date: Sep 1999 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 7,997	Lemme start off by sayin Ima bit of a grump today, so I'm likely to be more rude and critical than sweet and forgiving in my votes, its nothin personal... S.I.: I loved your flow throughout your first verse... got all the way through the whole story, it was easy to follow yet still skillfully written, no weird or awkward lines to read or understand... flow was consistantly varied throughout and easy to follow as well, love stories about serial killers... great drop, written well, creative, etc. Juked: Halfway thru the note from Marc Jacobs and Im like ZzZ at the story... the flow is alright, nothing awkward or hard to follow about it but nothing particularly impressive either... restarting from the note from Marc Jacobs... I really didnt like the writing in the note part, it was simple in flow and complex in concept and I guess that just isn't a style I am feeling this week as I have consistantly voted against it in 3 other matches tonight... I suppose I prefer complexity in flow and simplicity in concept, and not even so much simplicity as engaging... the last verse was written ok... So, Vote> S.I. for the more interesting and skillfully written read __________________ Text Masters of the Universe myspace.com/bonniebathory

01-06-2008, 09:49 PM	#14 (permalink)
TeKneeK The Heart & Soul of RMC Join Date: May 1999 Location: L.A. Californ: America's Best Posts: 26,160	Juked's imagery I thought was a 89... Issue's style was a 85 Juked's wordplay was a 87 Issue's narrative was a 88 Juked's overall score to me was an 86 Issue's overall score was an 85 Juked's verse is more vivid and more smoother in description ... the wordplay makes his piece more colorful..... vote juke. __________________ .......................

01-06-2008, 10:16 PM	#15 (permalink)
S. Issue Who? Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Bloomington, IN Posts: 762	yo, honestly Tek? im not one of bitch, but that vote doesnt deserve the fucking count its going to get. if youre going to vote on someone's piece, give it a real fucking vote. __________________ wrong, or write?

01-06-2008, 10:19 PM	#16 (permalink)
TeKneeK The Heart & Soul of RMC Join Date: May 1999 Location: L.A. Californ: America's Best Posts: 26,160	GOT LIFE loves to put me on the shit list.... u got this match easy... im putting this in for his savoring of writing me up again on next week's mag... dont take it personal.... this is just for my shine.. LOL...