7. vada (7-2) vs. 8. TeKneeK (3-1)

[J o o k]

The New RSTL Rules and Regulations

VERSES DUE:Friday 11:59 pm EST. NO RECYCLING.

Verses posted after the deadline will not count! UNLESS you post your verse before mods close threads (for some odd reason), and your opponent agrees to let your verse stand.

VOTES DUE: Sunday 8 PM PST. 4 votes per participant, POST LINKS in your match. Each link not posted will result in a 1 vote deduction up to 4 votes obviously.

*Votes posted after deadline will not count in a tie or a close match, thus possibly resulting in a loss. GET YOUR VOTES IN.
You are also required to vote on the Championship, and Contendership match which will be included in your 4 votes.

If you are not in the league you cannot vote, unless you are an ex champion. Ex champions must vote on a minimum of 4 battles for their votes to count.

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*Verses MUST incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines.

*Anyone who does not post at least 4 lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show.

*During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit.

*Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a no-show.

* EXSTENSTIONS will be granted on a case by case basis.

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*Votes must at least be 2 lines in length for each verse.

NO SHOWS WILL COUNT AS A LOSS.

Lastly: Moderators have FINAL say over all situations that arise.

Amendments

1. Mods can vote.

2. You're opponent automatically gets the same extension deadline.

3. You cannot win a championship by no show. You will become the number #1 seed, but you must win by vote to be a champion. This does not apply for defenses.

[TeKneeK]

in

[vada]

oh yea

[TeKneeK]

Moonlighting

She had a silky black skirt just a minute past 9
Escorted elegantly set to sit requesting wine
Morena mami looking chic with them burgundy lips
Crossed her legs with the pumps shaped exotic with hips
How many faces are around her, her eyes scan curious
I gaze and find her style depict a feline luxurience
The cats that sat across at the bar made plans
Shiny ice, fitted suits competing game with other men
Thinkin’ who can play her proper for the night on the town
Creatin’ game like they swear that they were world renowned
I approached and made my move before the men could pave way
With uncertainty to speak these are the words that I say …

“Hey girl how you doin …excuse me fa being bold
But from where I use to sit your face was shinin’ like gold
Amongst other women in here I almost turned blind
The way your radiance was gleaming thinking this was a sign
So I came to introduce me and grace myself
In hopes that you would notice me from everyone else
And so---- you can identify with why I’m unique
Cus you exhibit beauty with a sexy mystique (20)”

With a sigh and a grin she let me sit to converse
I stuck gaze at her eyes while thinking oh so perverse
But to really set the tone to make this night shine so fine
I put a front with some attitude and poured her some wine

Sayin.. “Eres tu soltera o tienes un novio?”
My mind could only picture of her on me like a rodeo
In knowing that I wasn’t the type to thug it out
She turned her head in disappointment knowing what I’m about

HER:
“You aint no thug or no gangsta or nothing of type
And you dare to sit here thinking I’m the catch of the night
I didn’t’ come to get no game from what you think you can offer
Cus the moment you approached I didn’t feel no hotter”

My jaw dropped in shock at what she just said to me
And all the men at the bar were crackin bad jokes at me
Toasting drinks yelling “thanks for takin’ one for the team!”
I was at a loss of words from what I heard from this thing
So I snatched her by her arm and I took her outside
Expressin rage to what just happened in the still of this night
It was a bright litted moon shining high with the stars,
“But who the fuck do you claim to be or think who you are???
You killed the picture of this scene that shoulda turned out nice
But what I thought of you before is now a fucked up surprise!!!”

HER:
“Too bad, you fuckin ugly and you don’t turn me on!
You ain’t black in fact you’re •••••y and you need to move on!
Don’t try to take this hard… but the moment you came
I didn’t wanna know ur name or how u came to play game!!!”

Then this big latino cat came in like Mafioso
His build was 2-20 6 feet with big ojos
Mad doggin me askin what the fuck am I doin’
I put my hands up submissive like ‘I aint pursuin’
I left and then this cat took his bitch by the chin
And yelled, ‘The moment that I leave you.. you fuckin with him!?’
They were arguing and screamin’ then she spit him with phlegm
And then in rage he smacked her face screaming “this fuckin ends!?”
He popped a wine bottle pouring it all over this chick
She was on the floor cryin’ not believing this shit
In tears screamin, ‘I HATE YOU YOU BENDEJO….. MUTHAFUCKER…
I sat a bit saddened… cus I thought that I loved her (58)
So I cleared up the table as the waiters cleaned the mess
And I helped this lady up throughout her whole night of stress
As I gazed into her eyes and asked her if she be fine…
Then I bitchslapped that hoodrat….

(He jumps over the balcony walking away grinning happily) …


And vengeance was mine.


(Enrique pulls up in his car as Chin gets in)

CHIN: your right man… she does hate Asians.
ENRIQUE: Told u…
CHIN: Moooooonliiiiightiiiiiing…… muahhahahaha

(The car speeds away)

[vada]

Beauty is the Beast
by Vada


She feeds as the sunsets and the moon bleeds in the sky
A new thirst quenched…sadness is seen in her eyes
From Greece to the haunted depths of the Black Sea she resides
A nomad, it’s so sad, seeing her, she’s been deprived
In this demon disguise for thousands of years…the alpha of fear
The Greek Lamia lays heart broken in a house full of tears
She lost her only love from the point of the Alderman’s spear
An eastern European myth once hidden but now it appears
A cloud of severe smoke from the mountains come near
As the Carpathian peaks, leak blood as the child reappears
She takes the form a gypsy singing a powerful cheer
This is the day she betrays Vlad, her innocents allows her to jeer
With her overpowering fleer, she prepares in her woman state
Perfecting her walk, her talk, and the sounds that a woman makes
She prepares the sacred relics water and wooden stakes
She cooks and bakes the garlic and pours it inside the bullet blanks
She shouldn’t wait, but she has to, cause when she gets to the castle
If it seems to abrupt or soon, the moon may give her a hassle
So she waits….as the clock ticks every minute the axles
And the gears grind, her tears fly, she remembers the shackles



Remember when he attacked you her conscience ignited memories
That lasted twice a century, she said it's like he's killing me
And instantly the warmth of the blood on her tongue sensually
Created a rush, that must’ve been the reason to her energy
She bit her teeth into her wrist, and started bleeding from her lips
She started screaming as a demon started feeding on her...it
Was unbelievably intense...her neck pulsating from punctures
Vlad snuck up from behind her, he raped her and fucked her
A seed was planted... in her womb was a baby that suffered
Through child birth...the DNA manipulated it’s structure
It had the face of it’s mother, but with the fangs of her lover
So full of hate she discovered she couldn't wait til he suffered
So to this day she would hover over Transylvania lands
Wit the blood of her mother still flowing through the base of her hands
She stays to the plan, stands and she ran to the castle door
With a wooden stake, she plans to stick into his ass with force
And that’s in the literal sense, she picks up her shit and grabs the floor
She preys for a minute then says...he’s gonna get what he asking for
An act of war….she moves in with plans to seduce him
But her plans are shattered, I mean hell…he’s the man of illusion
He sneaks up behind her, grabs her then fathoms confusion
As she disappears in mid air and then that’s the conclusion
It goes black and the music plays, the mood gets gray the hope is over
Dracula dies, that’s a surprise, here’s lies a moments closure
He killed her mother, she kills him...the typical roller coaster
And with out further ado, she snaps his neck….the show is over

[Lucifa]

how underwhelming .. :(

Tek - this seemed to be a bit of a mess .. not that it isn't understandable .. it just didn't feel like the plot/ending was pre-determined before you started writing .. it kinda evolved into what it was as it went on .. I may be wrong and you actually sat there and thought about the story before writing .. but if that's the case then it makes this worse .. as the whole idea behind the action was kinda pointless .. with the writing not really lifting the piece either .. a mundane flow that was choppy as stormy seas .. I really don't like being so harsh to someone I do have respect for .. but in general the whole piece was boring with no redeeming features ..

Vada - maybe you're 'saving yourself' for the play-offs .. but this was way below par for you .. the content was kinda plain but the main problem was how jumbled up it was .. it didn't make the most sense as it read .. the switch between the mother and daughter based lines were not seperated well and made me as the reader .. revert back to make sure I was clear on which character was being narrated at any given time .. the flow was also off with this verse but maybe not as drastic as Tek's ..

Vote = Vada .. underwhelmed and very disappointed with this match-up .. I know some people don't rate Tek very highly and his usual gangsta stories get tiresome .. but I do think he is a decent writer .. however .. he really didn't prove my opinion here with a bland piece with a pointless plot .. Vada barely stepped this up a gear but did have a more interesting and plot driven piece with marginally better flow and vocab .. expected so much more here ..

[TeKneeK]

posting votes here.

[J o o k]

Up!

[Dougie G]

Vada: I completely understood your piece, once again you use the same idea that i had but you were able to bring more out of the topic then I did. The flow was fairly easy to follow, I really dont think the way you joined the pic together was that great being that i was thinking the same thing, but hey still a good piece.

Tek: Maybe I am a just a bad voter, but I loved this verse, this was the best I have seen from you since I been in this league, I loved the characthers and the flow was on point, the only problem i had was the ending

Vote: Tek. In my opinion just a better overall verse

[S. Issue]

Tek: well, i just dont see this piece being much of an exciting read. your punctuation, or lack of, leaves me reading jumbled masses of description and imagery, which is a back-breaker. your use of conversation and dialog in this piece are very awkward and make it tough to keep reading. work on your wording and making sure that its easier for me to read through a line, as opposed to end rhyme. its always easy to fix end rhyme, but odd wording can break a piece.

Vern: better wording. not much forced or extremely difficult to follow. a straightforward piece with some interesting mythological allusions that helped me keep reading. nothing spectacular. definitely solid in most aspects, but i agree that the delineation of speakers was tough to follow. first we have one, then we have another speaker. its tough without some sort of cue to let us know we are changing places. otherwise, this was pretty well written and executed.

vote: Vern...for more interesting and understandable piece.

[.ApoGee.]

Tek- HAHAHAHAHAHA @ the ending, it was good bruh. Ok, I like the story-line, def fresh from other pieces that I've read this week. It was something original and a bit more comedic. I like the flow, the flow was a little bleh in some places but it was straight, I also felt some words we're being forced so I was left kind of like "wha?". The Imagery of this piece was ok, alot of details but not alot of deph. Emotion/voice/tone was cool, at first I thought this was going to turn out to be a rape kind of story but it didnt and that what surprised me and had me rolling, Lol.The weak point was not letting the story-line fully developed and using dialog in it was not good so it kind of bored me. Overall, ok.

Vada- This was an alright Piece. You went straight foward to the concept at hand. The mechanics was better than your opponents so I def felt this piece was more easy to read. The Imagery was good. Transations from one voice to the other was kind of meh, didn't really let it developed much. The flow was coo. The Emotion/Voice in your piece was alright. The strongest point of your piece was the narration and the story-line, even though it was kind of mesh everywhere, it still came out good. The weak point was just that, transations. Overall , Ok Piece.

This is hard to vote, both came good but not spectacular that I thought it would be, but I vote for Vada, even though he came nearly weak this week. Still pull it off with some good wording, better mechanics and I got into it better than tek's.

[TeKneeK]

mods i could not vote on 4 matches because the two matches with GOT LIFE and THARETURN are matches i cannot vote on (due to beef, remarks on other threads here in the forum)

so i voted on three:

15. .ApoGee. (4-3) vs. 16. Bonnie (4-1)
17. Condescending (2-2) vs. 18. Lucifa (9-4)
Contendership: 3. Juked (3-0) vs.4. S. Issue (6-3)

aside that there are no other matches to vote on...

so thats it.

[Macmili]

Tek- I definately enjoyed your verse more than vada's. I did have some confusion with your verse because it says "So I snatched her by her arm and I took her outside" and then it says her ex came out of nowhere, they fight, he pours a drink on her, and the waiters clean it up? I thought they were outside.... can you explain this to me? anyway this piece was decent, it had it's flaws but it wasn't painful to read.

vada- I have never liked vampires, nor do I like to read verses about them, but the fact still remains after I read tek's verse I wasn't gonna turn around and go "uh oh a vampire verse, I'm not voting on this" cuz that would be a waste of time. I couldn't really keep up with all the mystical superstitions you incorporated. I mean I did read your whole verse line for line, but now when I scroll up and look at it, I don't remember much, only thing I remember was putting garlic in bullets, which showed some creativity, and your flow was good which indicates you're a good writer, but the story just didn't register.. sorry man

vote- tek

[DaAlmightyDolla]

v-tek

tek- ur verse is a breath of fresh air. had comedy and spansih lol. very entertaining. your verse however can be compared to "no country for old men" cuz it started great but the ending was a lil dissapointing but it didnt take away from the verse.

ps wats ur nationality. i hope ur not the tek in the brahmns pic or im taking my vote back

vada- ur just a consistant writer even though this wasnt ur best. we know wat we will get from u. no big twist just a great flow. good vocab. and decent if not good imagery. a very well rounded writer. just wasnt entertained as much with ur verse as teks.

[Got Life?]

^ all this kids votes are late so none of them should count in the actual battles...