17. Condescending (2-2) vs. 18. Lucifa (9-4)

[J o o k]

The New RSTL Rules and Regulations

VERSES DUE:Friday 11:59 pm EST. NO RECYCLING.

Verses posted after the deadline will not count! UNLESS you post your verse before mods close threads (for some odd reason), and your opponent agrees to let your verse stand.

VOTES DUE: Sunday 8 PM PST. 4 votes per participant, POST LINKS in your match. Each link not posted will result in a 1 vote deduction up to 4 votes obviously.

*Votes posted after deadline will not count in a tie or a close match, thus possibly resulting in a loss. GET YOUR VOTES IN.
You are also required to vote on the Championship, and Contendership match which will be included in your 4 votes.

If you are not in the league you cannot vote, unless you are an ex champion. Ex champions must vote on a minimum of 4 battles for their votes to count.

*Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match exists) is encouraged but not required.

*Verses MUST incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines.

*Anyone who does not post at least 4 lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show.

*During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit.

*Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a no-show.

* EXSTENSTIONS will be granted on a case by case basis.

*If your opponent no shows you will still be held accountable for posting TWO VOTES.

*Votes must at least be 2 lines in length for each verse.

NO SHOWS WILL COUNT AS A LOSS.

Lastly: Moderators have FINAL say over all situations that arise.

Amendments

1. Mods can vote.

2. You're opponent automatically gets the same extension deadline.

3. You cannot win a championship by no show. You will become the number #1 seed, but you must win by vote to be a champion. This does not apply for defenses.

[Lucifa]

Votes

1 13. TheReturn (9-1) vs. 14. DaAlmightyDolla (6-4)
2 7. vada (7-2) vs. 8. TeKneeK (3-1)
3 5. Got Life? (9-4) vs. 6. Macmili (2-0)
4 Contendership: 3. Juked (3-0) vs.4. S. Issue (6-3) < cont

[Condescending]

check..........

[Condescending]

Can I have an extension until 2moro plz, thanks....

[Got Life?]

verses are due friday as is...

[Lucifa]

Presents



Kia Chang Lu
with her RSTL debut role in

Courage Under Fire: Beauty Is The Beast

current champion of the underground scene
she's undefeated and the best they have seen
best there's been since the title was created
attention from agents was what she hated
as all they want is to live off her talent
to use Kia's skills to fill their bank balance
they would harrass her after each victory
promise the world repeating "just stick with me"
following her around where ever she'd go
but she'd ignore them and just smile at Hiro
her brother and her manager from the start
the brain to her brawn and the head to her heart
yet some people don't take no for an answer
such a guy was Tenaka, known as a chancer
a gangster boss with a few goons in his crew
"I need a new fighter and I'm choosing you"
the tone in his voice was serious and brash
and before she could say no Hiro was snatched
thrown in the back of a car that sped away
"Kia, unless you want him back dead then say
that you agree to fight for me from now on"
she agreed because her options are now gone

.: *fade to black* .:. *fade to fire lit room* :.

Kia stretches and bends working out her limbs
then she enters the ring and the bout begins
punches and kicks swing wildly from both sides
fighting with no pride as losing's where hope rides
she shifts her left hip but gets intercepted
as the kick connected her spit ejected
and she hit the deck with bone shattering force
rattled her jaw as blood splatters the floor
she's battered and sore but gets to her feet
and steps to a beat that capoeira dictates
never accepting defeat but preparing for fate
she's respected elite staring in to his face
blood bitter in taste sprung in her cheek
as it flows it wraps her tongue like a sheet
from her nose, air bubbles form as it bleeds
it hurts as she breathes but she proceeds
with valiant stride feeling crappy inside
attacking in spite her left foot is thrust
smacking him right in the temple as he ducks
she trembles as she looks at his eyes roll back
he pretends that he's good but the guy's no match
as now he lies out flat and the fight's over
a tear in her eye knowing Hiro's life's over

.: *fade to black* .:. *fade to indoor carpark* :.

blind-folded, battered and bruised, blood on his shoes
Hiro mumbles "all you had to do was lose"
before another word could be said by him
a bullet flew through his chest, he's left dying
she wept, crying as Tenaka looked at her
disgust in his face, he threw a book at her
it showed the betting scandal he'd rigged to win
then she dropped to her knees as a kick flew in
straight to her torso taking her breath away
"just know that you caused both of these death's today"
Kia looked up at Tenaka, smiled and spoke
"with Hiro plus you four, how does that be 'both'?"

.: *cue fancy camera work and dance music* :.

Kia's pupils shrink as she focuses her sight
kicks out to the right using all of her might
snapping the shin bone of the first goon before
leg sweeping the second guy who soon hit the floor
cracking his skull as it hit the ground with pace
she turns to the first, drops a heel round his face
she gets up and runs as the third guy gives chase

... To Be Continued ...

[Condescending]

"Kids dont buy drugs, become a pop star and they give them to you for free"

It's the early 80's in New York and filled with mafia bosses
That could capture you options
If you actively seek them out with blowtorches to your soft skin
So forcefull that they've lost limbs
They being people that oposed the mafia who werent holding no pity
In the 80's noses were itchy
Fiends were just souless as drugs were controlling the city......
as long as fiends were lowlifes at 15

Eric G was a talented singer with bags of potential
Who sadly was on menthol
Because he was troubled and his dad was just mental
Escaping was actually essential
Thats why he would spend the weekends at studio 54
Where the music was crisp and raw
People spoke so much about it their lips were sore.......
Hundreds could hit the doors
Cueing for hours which became time that was hard to kill
Even when plastered when on pills
But they heard rumours that it was where all the stars would chill
Empty seats were fast to be filled
A cool place to be but the mafia had deals with the owners....
To sell pills in the moment
A lot of young kids took pills and were killed or in comas
or really ill from their first pill

Eric was a young star who was harshly exposed to drugs
Looking for hoes to fuck
Snorting so much coke it felt like his nose had bust
Thought his world had opened up
He'd always get free drugs because of what fame had brought him
His name was scorching......
But he didnt get far and after a while fame ingored him.....
A grade A moron....
Now he had to pay for his habbit, he couldnt afford to kick it
Because of his flawless wishes
No career now life just became so poor and wicked

You could say it was the mafias fault for the young addiction
Or did he find fame in such a young position
That it threw him off the rails, I know some would insist it
Well Erics mum was a christian......
But that didnt stop him once the opportunity had arisen
Because although the drugs were free his mind was in prison..

[Condescending]

I will post my links up 2moro................

[TheReturn]

I'll edit this with a vote after I feel like reading the verses, but I just wanted to say that seeing that police badge at the top seriously made me laugh out loud.

Dies.


Ok typing this as I read...

Luci - First two lines, scene and seen? Rhyme scheme is standard aabbcc, simplistic, flow is on but not really keeping me glued to the story. Second verse is interesting, can almost see the fight play out in front of me which is good. Third verse is my favorite the way it ends with her saying she was going to kill all four of the goons, and the fourth was on it's way to being better until the TBC shit hit. Get that shit out of here. You could have taken out the first verse completely, introduced the brother in the third and thrown some shit in about the scandal, then gone wild on the fourth verse and had a really awesome piece. It's almost like you wrote the first verse and then came back later and finished it, because the difference in quality from the first and the last three is so vastly different. Kind of redeemed with the last three but that TBC is killer here.

Condesceeza Rice - This started and ended so fast, which can be a good thing sometimes but not here, I never had a chance to really get into it. I felt like a lot of the rhyming was forced, some of the wording was awkward, the story wasn't very engaging, the take on the topic was simple and to the point, the flow was really good and got me from start to finish really quick, character development wasn't there, overall just alot lacking from this verse in my opinion.

Giving this to Luci, more entertaining, though that TBC is just stupid.

[J o o k]

LOL @ the badge.

UP!

[Eye-Rime]

Lucifa, nicely done overall, the flow was the best in the beginning of the second stanza but it began to get jumbled when you started switching it up a tad too much and too frequently, besides that it was good enough throughout to keep reading and never really hurt the progression of the story, speaking of which the progression was rapid yet smooth and the actual scene transitions worked for me, the only beef i had is with some of the wording in areas seemed to be sacrificed for better flow in which most cases never actually helped the flow but only hurt the wording such as the "be both" which was oddly written and threw me off, in the end it was a decent story told fairly well and a good take on the picture although a more literal take i feel you did enough with it to get the nod, good piece and i would love to see the ending although i dont see how it would fit into an entire verse

condescending, this started off kind of rocky and never smoothed out, the flow was semi good if you subtract the numerous grammatical errors and poor wording such as the options line early in and the repetition of when in one line and also the repetition of pill in the second stanza, a very literal take on the topic which was a disapointment and lessoned the entire impact of the script, the ending was poor if that is even what you would call the end of this verse and the overall build up was generic and should/could have contained a lot more details of his life to enhance the reading experience, as is it was decently written with a literal take and a bland script that never offered any connection before abruptly coming to a hault

overall, lucifa was obviously the clear winner here with a more engaging story that held my attention and offered something for the reader, good battle fellas

vote - lucifa

[Smoke Trail]

Condescending
This piece seems more like something i would read in the open mic section. Detials and imagery were lacking. No twists. Very straight forward, which sometimes is a good approach, but here it didnt work so well. Felt flow was fine and I liked the set up actually. Different, But I liked that part. Overall its just kind of bland, nothing to exciting, just a normal piece.

Lucifa
This is a good piece, seemed alot of effort and thought was put into the idea and it was developed well. Maybe add a little more substance and depth to the piece. Flow was good , vocab lacked but im not real big on vocab, cause alot of ppl use it to much which i think takes away from some pieces. Overall I liked this piece and one of the better reads of yours i have had.

Vote - Lucifa

[.ApoGee.]

Luci- You be watching too many jackie chan or jet li's movies bruh, Lol. Anyways, this was an overall good verse. The narration was good, I kind of felt there wasn't much effort put into this like it was just straight foward, no metaphors, no similies..Not the 'wow' mechanics in the past pieces you've had but this all turned out to be a good Piece. I like the concept, seems fresh but again, the mechanics just let me down to even enjoy the concept. There was some lines that was forced, made the wording and the flow seems choppy but overall, this was a good drop. Lmao! @ the badge, talking about rubbing it in your face, Lol.

Con- Another straight foward piece, the problem is your mechanics was lacking. The Imagery and the Emotion, I just didn't feel it here and the rhyme scheme left me baffled. The concept was coo, very Much predictable, I thought there would be a twist at the end but there wasn't much build up in the story line to have a twist at the end..Overall this was an ok piece, rushed I think, but overall Ok.

V/ Luci, overall better.

[Lucifa]

choppy flow? .. really? .. 4 words = "eleven syllables per line" .. count them ..

[Dougie G]

Lucifa: Well aside from what everyone else said I actually liked your verse alot, like all your other verses, it flowed together nicely and I loved the whole story, the characther was awesome and I cant wait to read the rest, good piece man

Con: It was a pretty nice verse, for me at the beginning the flow was hard to follow but I was able to keep up. The only real problem I had with this verse was at the end, I was completely lost, I feel as though u did not finish it off properly.

Vote: Lucifa: I really think the To be continued, Helped Lu oout last his opponent, just because where Lu had finished his verse off nicely Con left me in an uunknown state

[Got Life?]

Lok - yea, I don't see the choppy flow myself, I read through it all and it was really smooth, it could have had better rhymes, but it sure as hell read smooth. The content was mildly interesting although I would rather see Kia doing all this and that in a movie, but it works, plot was over the top predictable at first, but the ending was good, overall it was enjoyable minus the almost abrupt ending with a TBC at the end...

Con - this was average at best, the flow was alright, the concept was really tired and played, the whole young star busts on drugs...enter blah moral of the story, mother was christian part was even more useless of a line, but whichever...

very clear cut winner here.

vote = Lucifa