[[THE MAG]] (Late Edition) The RSTL Tribune: Issue 8, Week 14

[Quriosity]

Issue 8, Week 14

CONTENTS

I. Introduction
II. No-Show Shine
III. Headliners of the Week (By Got Life?)
IV. Breakdowns (By Got Life?)
V. Shit List (By Got Life?)
VI. Rocket Reporting Live (By Rocket)
VII. Drama Llama (By Got Life?)
VIII. The Unveiling of the Playoff Banner
IX. Conclusion



I | INTRODUCTION

Due to the holiday and the awards thread, my time was limited and therefore this magazine edition is not only late in its delivery, but also very minimal in substance. Please forgive my inactivity and inability to produce a full edition.

With that said, I would like to thank Got Life? for his efforts throughout this season and this week to help not only the league's progression, but also to help make my job and online life a lot easier.

I would also like to thank those of you who have also helped, however inconsistent your lending hand may be. Your efforts are still appreciated.

With that said, it was an interesting week for the RSTL. With the season nearing its end and the beginning of the playoffs upon us, things only continue to get more crazy with the antics of some of this league's participants.

Aside from that, the activity level has also seen a slight decrease. However, surprisingly our show up rate was high with at least 7 or 8 match ups completed. Also, although late in its execution, the voting has been fairly well for the most part considering the decrease in activity and quality posting. Nevertheless, there is still room for improvement and voting laws next season will be enacted and strongly enforced.

Without any further adieu:

At this time, I would like to extend a warm invitation to those who disagree with the way I write my magazines, or to those who may disagree with my views or the way I express my opinions, or simply to those whom may just want to help out and have a sincere concern for the future of this league. Please feel free to email me at usadesigns1@gmail.com. I am always open to suggestions and help from those who are truly interested.

[Quriosity]

II | NO-SHOW SHINE

BY MACMILI


don't scroll down it will ruin the ending

1984: at the Saint Paul's Medical Center
a baby boy named George had just left the placenta
all he asked of life was to fill his lungs with air
unaware of the fact he would get an adventure
he had two loving parents who would later divorce
..God'll through obstacles in when he's makin the course
his pops would go to work for 10 hours each day-
makin decent pay, mom had the baby and chores
it was all gravy for George until the age of twelve
when the rage of hell found it's way through the floors
his parents argued & glass fixtures were shattered
his mom menopaused, pops had some shit wit his bladder
George held his head high and avoided the battle
he'd come home from school & hop right on his Haro
out in the neighborhood he'd break shit he didn't own
a cop car came by and he pegged it with a stone
petty shit unknown to the place he was living-
he recieved praise for from friends with issues of their own
they became his crew that would break shit too
they were gettin high everyday and mischief was the bone
they promised themselves to leave the other shit alone
and they kept their word until the mischief was outgrown
George was 17 when they had first gotten high
afterwards, they spent alot of time sitting in his home
laughing at the skeletons that lined their closets
heads spinning like tires during diagnostics
the school year came to an end and one of his friends-
was lookin skinnier than a wild ostrich
George had showed Henry coke but didn't know it would cost him
George was always saying "he blows it too often"
he was young, and stupid, by the time George got to Henry
he was at the cemetery putting a rose on the coffin
He blamed drugs for leaving his emotions scarred
and the rest of the crew drowned their woes at bars
when college began most of them dropped
George glorified working, they mostly smoked pot
the rest of his life was not at all captivating
he worked and studied math until he graduated
his old crew sold drugs, went to clubs and popped E
he envied their lifestyles but told himself "it's not me"
he had chosen the path of longevity
his bright future made him pity their short destinies
he landed a statistics job and was elevating fast
but then his tie got caught in the elevator shaft








"It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others."

[Quriosity]

III | HEADLINERS OF THE WEEK
By Got Life?
Based On Completed Matches

BEST OVERALL VERSE
Nah Son

RUNNER UP
Bonnie Bathory

WACKEST OVERALL VERSE
James Bondage

WORST OF THE BEST VERSES OVERALL
TekNeeK

MOST CREATIVE USE OF A PICTURE
Nah Son

MOST CREATIVE USE OF A TOPIC
Poetikz

BEST OVERALL FLOW
Poetikz

BEST OVERALL MATCHUP
Bonnie vs Poetikz

RUNNERS UP
Nah Son vs Dic

BIGGEST UPSET OF THE WEEK
Baron’s childish antics

[Quriosity]

IV | THE BREAKDOWNS
By Got Life?

This week actually turned out to be a whole lot better than I originally expected although how much bullshit went on behind the scenes is un-fucking-believable.

Championship: 1. nah son (6-1) vs. 2. Dic Gets Gully (4-0)
In what ended up being a closer match than most people expected it to be, there was a lot left on the table at the end of this. A lot of bullshit that brewed up about voting with votes being banned left and right from this match. When you stray away from all of that nonsense and look at the meat of this battle, here’s what you have. Nah Son wrote a verse reflecting on a man who while trying to raise his family during the great depression, kills himself so that they can collect on the insurance. His spirit presents itself trying to stop him each and every time he jumps, watching the scenario replay itself over and over. While there was nothing over the top in this piece, everything fit together and it was a piece that was definitely done justly. Dic on the other hand wrote a piece about an Arabic cabbie, who at first is in some ghetto shooting it out with someone on some typical gangsta nonsense only to then act like he’s a victim for the way people look at him like a terrorist. At the end of the day the cabbie kills one man by shooting him in the face and runs the other two passengers over and proves that he was stereotyped properly, except he’s not a terrorist, he’s just a fucking psycho. The downfall was the fact that the piece screamed cliché and it wasn’t written up to dic’s normal standard of mechanics as they really fell off this week. Dic signed out towards the matches ending, I expect you can find him lurking on PR rehashing washed up ideas with buddy Pent Up.

Contendership: 3. Bonnie Bathory (3-1) vs. 4. Poetikz (3-0)
In a match that originally had people scratching their heads as to how the hell did both of these kids make it to the top of the ladder, this was actually the match of the week. Poetikz came to the table delivering a verse that had a certain humor to it in regards to death. A subject that truly seems to captivate and fascinate audiences universally, this piece certainly faired no differently in the RSTL as Poe presented us with an amusement park for euthanasia. At first glance it was really a very clever idea with all the different options for how to go out the way you always wanted!? To me what really was the downfall of this piece was the lack of connection to the character, why did he want to kill himself, why this way other than it seems creative, and then how significant can it be if there’s a whole amusement park dedicated to this and he merely picks one of the rides. Maybe I’m digging to much, but anyway I was told my vote doesn’t count because Poe had asked for it to not be allowed before the topics were even up, although I’ll cut him slack in him apologizing for his silly antics to me after realizing that I don’t actually have any issues with him. Bonnie’s piece wasn’t as strong at first glance, with a predictable scenario about a stripper although it was amusing to find one with morals, yet as she throws everything to the wind over this connection with a beautiful stranger, she gets raped and murdered courtesy of Ted Bundy. It was something that you kind of almost expected to happen because without it the piece wasn’t complete, but it was executed rather well and made for a very enjoyable read. I don’t know how Jook is going to break down the match and how he’s going to call it, but when I looked at it, this actually ended as a tie. Lok’s vote counts, Baron using alias2’s name shouldn’t count first off because Alias2 no-showed so he’s not allowed to vote, nor is he a former champ, My vote was previously dq’d, Smoke voted for Bonnie, which makes it 1-1 at this point. Ap makes it 2-1 Bonnie, then S.I. 1.50, and Q make it 4-2 Poe. Nah Son and Tek round it out to make the match 4-4, with Dic’s vote also being dq’d. The only undecided factor being what Jook will do with Baron voting as Alias2; personally if I were Poe reading this and I saw it went any other way, I would feel robbed.

5. Eye-Rime (9-2) vs. 6. .ApoGee. (3-2)
So, Q is a robot. With that statement in mind although he didn’t really find much resistance from Ap, Q delivered one of his most robotic and purely mechanical verses to date that really offered nothing other than the actual mechanics behind it all. Although I must say it was a cute attempt at writing something gory. Ap on the other hand had a pretty creative piece about how a couple would role play as brother and sister to get off. If he had better rhyming and mechanics he could definitely have come away with the win here.

7. TeKneeK (2-0) vs. 8. Lucifa (8-3)
I can’t bring myself to break down Tek’s piece. It was gangsta, then it was preachy, then it was attempting to be gory. Essentially this verse was more confused than Tek himself. Lok had a piece about a man finding out his father is still alive after many years and then telling that father that he’s not his father in some pseudo-dramatic drawn out nonsense, but then again if you have to try to beat Tek, you should consider the euthanasia theme park; ask poetikz for directions.

13. $1.50 (1-0) vs. 14. S. Issue (4-3)
Jook? I may be way off, but I think Jook is trying to shake off some rust and is using the name $1.50, being that he’s the only one who knows who that even is. To boot the font, scheme, and style screams Jook. Anyways that should give you chickens some more bullshit to gossip about. Anyways $1.50 wrote a pretty solid piece about a kid who lived with the fact that his mother was a stripper and how he ignored all of that bullshit because he knew at the end of the day it put food on the table, except one day his mother wasn’t there anymore, she was murdered, and he was taken away to become a product of the state, which as we all know will eventually lead to a fucked up fate. S. I. looked like he was finally back in form this week writing a pretty well polished piece that broke down a scenario following a murder. Truth be told I was pretty disappointed with the direction that he went with in the piece and I think that I probably would have voted for $1.50 had I voted on this match, but at the end of the day S.I. escapes with the win here.

[Quriosity]

V | THE SHITLIST
By Got Life?

Last week the shit list was cluttered with how many motherfuckers couldn’t get their tongue detached from the pole to get shit done right. This week plenty more dumb motherfuckers get highlighted.

The first one that gets to grace the shit list is God for no-showing, once again proving that God doesn’t exist, he works in mysterious ways, or no matter what…he doesn’t give a flying fuck. Hmm…where’s atheist when you need him?

Joining God as the rejects that couldn’t have been bothered to their matches are as follows: Sicksth*cents, Alias2, and LDogg. Special shout outs to LDogg for talking shit first and then at least telling me ahead of time he’ll be to busy riding the greyhound to his grandmother’s house for New Years because she’s the only one that invited him, in light of that he won’t have internet access. It’s not a problem dude, I realize that you’re scared to face me when there are good topics.

Technically the thread shows that Rocket lost via no-show although Rocket did drop a verse while Vern recycled his verse from 2 weeks prior as Rocket told him that he can re-use it. Unfortunately Rocket isn’t the authority on what can and cannot be done so utter confusion still stirs regarding this match. Regardless of which neither of these 2 geniuses voted so they shouldn’t be going anywhere.

Now onto all you shady whack voters out there.

Lets look first at someone who claims that he’s a great voter “Dic”.

Poet, creative concept with the amuzement park of death and the imagery of the story was strong with great flow. I liked how this was narrated a lot and the descriptions kept it interesting as the story progressed. The scenes of death had a humerous tone too that I thought was nice and made this more original and creative. Good job

Bonnie, very slow moving narration with poorly executed melodramatic build up to the character development. The outline of the story seemed okay to start, but it got very boring very quickly. All these vagina monologue styles of writing are just getting annoying..... everyone is all starting to write like gotlife... and this is no exception. It just wasn't well done imo

Vote Poet... far more interesting story and more creative/original narration.

While there wasn’t anything blatantly bad about what Poet wrote, but what exactly are all these vagina monologue’s that this clown is talking about. Moreover how amusing is it that Dic hates me so much that he has to try and take jabs at me when breaking down Bonnie’s verse. Get a job, you’re a waste of sperm homie.

Next up, we have the shit list King, indeed he’s been on the Shit List more than anyone in history. TekNeeK.

a fuck u to the voters that did not criticize the hardcore gangsta type shit that was depicted in the first beginning stanzas of dic's verses and then emphasized on my shit...

it was no different from that intro and people credited dic more with that.. fuck yall..


with that out of the way.... dic - ur natural narrative style is very much assimilated to bonnie's .. however u draw a lil more 'wreckless' mechanics... whereas bonnie comes very smoothly and naturally with her words.. hers is more graceful where urs is like.. flowing... going... then bam... new scene... diff emotion.. attack... bam...

but im still convinced by how ur narratives stays consistently... this is a much closer match than resulted....


nah son --- i felt the emotion on urs... although im not one to embrace the poetical style of ur composition ... i whispered a 'wow' while reading urs... its a real good overall turnout and was ...... more mechanically sound...



but for the interest of simplicity and naturalness in a composition...i have to tip my hat to dic for the better outcome...


dic - 89%

nahson - 85%

First off way to compare your verse to Dic’s and blame voters for not seeing similarities in the great gangsta of both of your verses and thanks for comparing dic to a more confused Bonnie, that makes for really great criticism on matches. Then what I really love is you said you “whispered a wow” while reading Nah Son’s verse yet you gave it a “It's cooo”, while Dic’s “choppy” piece got a “Above Avg”.
Here’s another classic Tek moment.

hell to the fuckin no ... u gotta be kidding me...

smoke trail's piece was choppy -- beginning to end.. read that shit again ... its choppy... jumpy details sketched from one to the next... rico had a smooth storytelling narrative that he used as the basis for the story ... how the fuck do you guys pinpoint errors.. when his style was as simple and as step-by-step as u make it... from my readings smoke was hell of a lot more erroneous and jumpy ... in which the poetical essence of this composition was flawed equally....

no fuckin way ....

smoke 76%

rico 80%

So technically Rico wrote an acceptable piece while Smoke’s piece was Aaaaa.. wtf…Tek you need to see a doctor especially when you call someone else’s writing jumpy. That shit is pure comedy to me.

[Quriosity]

The Shit List Continued

Next up we have $1.50.

Forgive me I give critique and jot notes while reading. I don't read the story then critique. So forgive my randomness.

Lucifa --- I like the way you started actually having the main character introduce the story and himself directly. Very solid background information on how they met. Very detailed including the drinks and the initial attraction. Whoa that was an abrupt turn, first he was spilling his soul out to the Peter then Peter tells him he's not his father lol. That was very unexpecting. Oh shit, and it twists back to him being the father and Peter lying about it because of the pain it induced. Very interesting. So with the end of the story I feel as if the character development was right on point, the background and buildup was definitely strong, the flow was cool, and the plot was decent. Not that creative but again the way you twisted it made it's own originality.

TeKneeK --- Your piece wreaks of a Nas narrative. I can just imagine Nas spitting this over a beat. Your second stanza is absolutely your strongest. I like the descriptive imagery you used and your choice of words. Tek as I entered your third stanza and was trying to correlate your second, third and finish with your first, it was a little awkward. I think your storyline had too much going on, in fact I think if you stuck to one idea it would have been much more productive. I like it, but like I said it's kind of a clash of ideas. So your strong points were your imagery and your presence. That definitely shined. The downfall was your clarity and plot development. So with that said I'll drop my vote.

vote goes to Lucifa for having the better story and mechanics. This battle wasn't too close but could have possibly been if Tek constructed an outline of some sort to further help his plot progress clearly.

At first glance this looks like a completely normal vote, but referencing that you can imagine Nas spitting anything that Tek ever wrote is the biggest joke since Tek getting booted from his own RSTL Audio league.

Lastly I leave you with some comedy from our Champ.

whats goin on here?

tek killed it, probably the verse of the week i cant believe you baboons are not

understanding the gangsta shit tek put together for your thorough enjoyment, you

guys should be glad tek even grazed you with his presence, tek is a legend and it

showed in this piece.

luci i dont know what kind of shit you were pulling with this non creative piece

a guy meets his dad after years then says it isnt his dad brav fuckin o.

i cant believe teks creativity is getting out voted by this wack shit


vote TEK

Nuff said.

[Quriosity]

VI | ROCKET REPORTING LIVE
By Rocket

Rocket Reporting Live:

Originally Posted by Cereal Killer

im jumpen on board like a fungus in gl coolo

Originally Posted by Got Life?

lol @ this fucking faggot showing face...

Originally Posted by Cereal Killer

fuck showing face ima sit on yours nukka

Originally Posted by Got Life?

lol yea...ook buddy, you couldn't do that with your prescripted topics...go take a look at the time you got knocked the fuck out of your own tourney and ponder why the fuck pain's writing bleeds of my fucking style, textbook...

the only thing you'll be sitting on is a 12 foot double ended dildo you whack faggot...

Originally Posted by Cereal Killer

im liken the text book one the rest of it just sounded like n overweight john candy looken mutha fucka bleeding his huckle berry fins all over the keyboard

Originally Posted by Got Life?

you weren't chucklin when you tucked tail and fled to pr muffin...

DING DING DING AND CK GETS TKO'd BY GL's Flippant remarks.
This is Rocket, reporting live from RSTL stadium where former Mod, Cereal Killer attempted to get in a battle of wits with Got Life? and came unarmed. I must warn all competitors that to get in a battle of wits you must have wit, remember that and you might have a shot at the Sarcasm Belt. That said lets go back to Jook in the studio while Got Life? basks in the defense of his Sarcasm Belt 16 weeks and Counting. Back to you, Jook. Rocket, out.


then he returns for a second crack

Originally Posted by Cereal Killer

i was a lil bit.. so possum whats was with ur barrage of messages about how much u love me adding me on myspace n shit when i first got modded... then once brackets where n pain was above u, all u would do is cry..

so i tell u this the brackets where fucked no doubt but the only help i got was finding out you where shit from pent up..

edited ..

soo anywhoot all that said u still followed my ass to pr cause jerking off to my myspace pic wasnt enough u had to get some kind of convo for relief

The Reply

Originally Posted by Got Life?

you must really have it twisted, I never followed anyone to pr, ive' mad like 3 posts on that site, each time to sign in...never showing up...and I tried helping you when you started the league but you fucked the brackets hardcore, placed your goofy self way to fucking high, but it doesn't matter, I still had the pleasure of KO'ing you in a battle where you picked the topic that fit your own gay little mind...and really...who myspaced who...freddy kreuger lookin mofucker...

The illfated comback

Originally Posted by Cereal Killer

u can ko dese nuts all up on ur chinbone.. sweet cheeks

the finisher

Originally Posted by Got Life?

son you're garbage...nuff said...

Rocket reporting again live from RSTL stadium where an unexpected turn of events has led to an unsanctioned defense of the sarcasm belt. Apparently, Cereal Killer has taken my advice to heart and borrowed the wit of a hot dog to come and try his best to win the sarcasm belt from Got Life? However, his first attempt proved that he still came unarmed to the battle of wits like the proverbial One Armed man to the Ninja fight and lost with the quickness. Nearly 12 hours later our ass bandit Cereal Killer came back with an unimpressive jab that was clowned and owned in 3 words with a 2 word cementer, proving yet again that Cereal Killer lacks the wit and the brain power to even compete in battle of wits.

Back to you Jook. Rocket Out.

[Quriosity]

VII | DRAMA LLAMA
By Got Life?

While most of you are feeling in the holiday spirit and trying to enjoy your week, the drama llama was certainly in town this week and running motherfucking rampant. For those of you unaware Baron Mynd, who signed out in a hissy fit, didn’t actually leave us. He’s both James Bondage and Abn0rmal. So not only did he battle himself while accusing someone else of biting although not having links. Baron recycled the verse he originally posted vs Trybz a few weeks ago before removing it. A piece he’s posted all over the net long before his match with Trybz showing that he’s nothing but a recycling twit. But further, why the fuck did Baron feel the need to have multiple names in the league at the same time? In truth, Baron never got over the incident pulled by Dic known as foldgate and felt the need to pay Dic back by trying to sabotage his run at the title. Most people would agree that Dic’s writing was enough to sabotage himself on his own, but Baron felt otherwise. He cast the following vote under his James Bondage name against Dic, being that his abn0rmal and Baron names were already banned from voting on this match.

i disagree completely here .. I tried and tried but just COULD NOT get into dics verse at all this week .. maybe its because i know I know its recycled from mrblunt and read it there months ago previously so i already knew where it was going and what to expect so i had to read through it again .. on top of that a lot of the multiples used were really forced and awkward.. Especially near the beginning and middle section.. the story moved along at a quick pace which i enjoyed but this also meant him brushing over things like relevancy, character development, and keepin tha reader entertained. this piece seemed more interested in its mechanics than its content which got lullish and dull after a short while, and while tha flow was decent it wasnt enough for me to really feel for the characters involved, their ordeal or the plot tbh.. it just lacked in so many areas from what weve seen previously.. this was not dic anywhere near what he can do and it bein a champ match i expected a lot more from him as he talks himself up so hard.. really dissapointed you recycled in a champ match too.. Wtf at that sonz??? Wack..


Nah im feelin u a lot nig.. you got tha flow down for sure with this one.. shorter lines makin for a much more smoother read.. clean rhymes scheme not overdone but well weighted.. again a good quick build up.. nicely narrated.. imagery isnt bad.. i liked how you tied in those two pics too.. thats a nice touch right there.. Really well executed.. strong finish also.. not a lot i can critique from you there Nah.. job well done on this one.. one of the best pieces i think ive read here so far.. i dont even feel this was close, dic wasnt bad but he lacked in a lot of areas this week and that allowed nah to capitalise on him and snatch this win quite comfortably.. i think dic slept on tha champ and it cost him here.. dic just aint bring enough this week to stop nah.


vote NAHSON

One of the funniest things about all of this is not only the blatant disdain that he shows towards Dic’s writing, but also the fact that he tries to call him out for recycling when I found out last week that Baron Mynd has been banned all together from at least 3 other rap boards for his incessant recycling. Essentially how much praise do you hope to acquire from re-using the same piece, topics, and ideas over and over. It’s really quite pathetic. Although Baron felt that this wasn’t enough, he contacted his buddy over in the UK Alias2 who didn’t even show to his match and never votes and cast the following vote from that name. I do have proof of all of this, for anyone thinking that I’m just on some conspiracy theory shit.

word dic always seems to complain when the votes go against him LOL what an arsehole...

Anyway, dic you had a choppy flow that seemed to stretch between long stretched as fuck lines with forced multis and a okayish rhyme scheme to short lines that made the flow off in parts and threw me as i read it. The story was decent at at best, nothing too original or creative and this seemed like two rushed pieces joined together that neither REALLY fitted the topic. the characters were just kinda banded in there with no background info built on or real solid imagery, just names and bland poor wording. I couldnt get into this either tbh... Definatly not one of your better verses...


Nah you got props from the tying of the pics, i thought that was fresh, really well worked, the wording was on point throughout and flow was there. The shorter lines made it the more punchy and snappy flow, nice transitions and very well moved along as the story progressed. I was feeling the closure too, and was it me or did Dic not even rhyme in his last bar? ROFL at his lazy ass. Could cost him big this week...

Vote is with nahson, easily...

First off notice how he tries to change personalities in the votes, but for anyone that’s ever dealt with Alias2 it doesn’t fit anything he’d ever write or say. Beyond that look at the further shots taken at Dic, say whatever you want to say, but his verse wasn’t horrible by any means, nor did anyone else ridicule it to such an extent. Now Baron was trying to get me in on this whole scenario, trying to get me to get Pain to vote against Dic. Personally my vote was entirely genuine, but this shit has gone way too far. I’m starting to suspect that Apogee may very well be either a Baron alias or his groupie that does what he tells him to do. What it all breaks down to is that this kid is taking things way to far and ruining the league because of his own childish antics. Personally I can’t stand all this nonsense. You have issues with someone, beat them, talk shit about them, do something clever, but don’t become the biggest homo to grace this league since Omen.

This is all that I’ll say about all of this at the time, but I’m keeping an eye on all of you and what your voting tendencies are and I won’t hesitate to pull your card. I’m not here to encourage all of your faggotry.

Pz.

[Quriosity]

VIII | THE UNVIELING OF THE PLAYOFF BANNER

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Good luck to those of you who are still competing for a spot, and good luck to those of you who have already clinched a playoff position.

[Quriosity]

IX | CONCLUSION

In conclusion, this was actually a pretty good week given the holidays and such. Hopefully the upcoming playoffs will be memorable. The archives will be updated soon after the end of the season as well as an offic