10. Bull Dog 1-0 vs. 11. OneiRic 1-0

[Baron Mynd]

RSTL RULES AND REGULATIONS

RULES AND REGULATIONS - THERE'S SOME NEW SHIT SO CLICK AND READ

The Standard League Rules will still be Enforced

Due Dates

VERSES DUE: Sunday12:00am PST/3:00am EST (this means Sunday, early early, start of the morning)
Verses posted after the deadline will not count!

VOTES DUE Tuesday: 12:00am EST PACIFIC 3:00am (also meaning early early morning Tuesday for people in the US)
Votes posted after the deadline will not count!
[list][*]Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match exists) is encouraged but not required.
[*]Verses must incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines.
[*]Anyone who does not post at least 4 rap lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show.
[*]During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit.
[*]Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a “show” but will not result in a match. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent posts between 16-64, you will lose the match but you will remain in the league. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent does not show, you will “Win by no-show”.[/list]
Voting:[list][*]If you do not show you can’t vote in any matches. .

[*]No bias votes! If you have a personal investment in wanting someone to lose, whether because that member voted against you once, or you just don’t like that person, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match. If have a personal investment in wanting someone to win, whether because they’re crew member, or because you want to face that person in the next week’s brackets, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match.
[*]”Bias” must be confirmed by a Moderator.
[*]If there is a match which you will not be able to vote on, due to “Bias” of any type, state so within your match prior to Verses Due Deadline. If this reduces the number of matches available for you to vote on to the point where you are unable to vote on at least 4 matches, the point scale will be adjusted according to how many matches you do vote on.
[*]3-ways are inevitable. In order to provide a tie-breaker in a 3-way, you are now required to indicate in what order the contestants finished (1st, 2nd, 3rd).
anyone who does not show or vote is suspended one week and must sign-in again to be inserted the following week.[/list]


Topics are HERE!:
RSTL Ranks and Topics

[oNeiRiC]

alright!
damn finally.

[Bull Dog]

Okay, we decided on all the rules ourselves, when he accept, these will be official rules...

Due Date: Tommorow(Saturday) Before 12 A.M.
16 Lines/8 Bars Max

Topic:

[oNeiRiC]

its as good as sketched in stone my brotha..

[Bull Dog]

word...

checkin in...

[oNeiRiC]

**notice how the writer speaks directly to the reader at times and also goes into the baby's head.

you could see the craziness in the baby's eyes
look at him,blazed, all in a trance
he's been up days and still stands like a man/
look at, the baby, transfixed, bewildered
look at the love they hold from the fingers/
beautiful, bombstrous, use them for conquest
disastrous, imposterous, to laugh without promise/
all in his look we see goals being demolished
the reality, the reader, the rythym, the theatre~
what are you thinking when reading this columnist/
subliminal messages in every other line
as if lost in time your mind flosses blind../..
why did God not give you better memory
if you are meant to learn, to grow...
think about it as your face, lets go.. ..]
..yet he blinds pain, when you crash
your mind does not think- to ask
you find in the deep- dark- ledge
the Art.. that begs to be part
of the fight, the battle
so bright in the background
was freedom of interest.
sacrilege.
distant.
earth.
free.
for..
me
1
*

[Bull Dog]

Brain washing minds of innocent children, blessed..
Blood Staining chest, possessed to depressed..
Time changing from the future, back to past..
These aliens steal the future, when we blast..
After Armeageddon, these new creatures revolve..
More smarter, more martyr, but more problems to solve..
The new species decided to create the time machine..
It was accomplished, they than went back a scene..
They experminted on a poor helpess new born child..
Baby, frightened out of his life, while alien's smiled..
So the baby, stepped out into the future, the wild..
Everyone was beguiled, because nobody ever saw a child..
Breathing hesitation, confused thoughts of discrimination..
Slaughter temptation, quarter away conversation, baby was the new patient..
Took it back to the future, but not meaning Marty McFly..
The new born baby was like an unwanted fly, just waiting to die..

[Bull Dog]

Aight, lets get some votes going!!!!

[DiC GeTs GuLLy]

Oneiric, this reminded me of old school rappers, which is cool cuz I'm pretty old school. From my understanding of your use of the topic, the baby is the artist and the aliens are looking to exploit him? It's a lil vague, but that's the problem with such a short line limit and it doesn't seem like you had enough time to open up with the topic yall chose. The metaphorical approach with the pic was what I expected most people would do with this pic and you had a cool scheme in it. Flow was cool... had a somewhat original kind of style that I liked.

Bulldog, more direct approach to the topic as you squeezed all that info into your preset line limit, but it was a pretty clear interpretation of the topic. Rhyme scheme wasn't complex, but the topic was kinda... The aliens rule the future concept was pretty creative too. It was a sci fi pic and you went sci fi with on some new shit so I can appreciate that. The unwanted baby being brought to a future without humans...... the more I keep thinking about the content, I wish you would have written this out to a more developed verse cuz the idea is nice.

Vote Bulldog

[Bull Dog]

Word^ I would have written more and tried harder but we both agreed on 16 lines for a challenge to put it all in 16 lines... and we had time, we discussed it, like 4 days ago, I think it was, just posted it up now though...

Good looks on the vote though homie... Thanks...

[DiC GeTs GuLLy]

uppin

[MrMister]

vote - Bulldog

One - This was an ok piece I couldnt really get it but I liked how you told it
it started of like it was going somewhere but right in the middle you lost me
and the end wasnt nothing special but still I can see potential
keep it up

Bull - this was nice the wordplay you did was nice
I really liked the ending that was a nice twist
flow was on point as well you are def not new to this

all in all a nice battle liked the whole make they own rules thing
but Bull took this one rather easy in my opinion

[Bull Dog]

Good looks on the vote^^^

&

Dreamcaster said since there was so many no-shows I only have to vote on 2 battles.. The Contendership & A Tournament Match... So here they are...

Conterndership-
CONTENDERSHIP: 3. Dreamcaster 10-2 vs. 4. TeKneeK 74-40 vs. 5. Got Life? 41-24
Tournament-

[oNeiRiC]

i usually pm stuff like this, but it wasnt workin, ^^hey can you tell me why you didnt get it, what you didnt get about it, that way i can get better, fuck a vote, its all about the feedback

because this is about getting better, not just votes, right?

[TaLi RodrigueZ]

Ok let's see..I have mixed feelings about this one here..

Vote= Bulldog

Oneiric, I'd definitely say you were probably the victim of line limits here. From the first thing you wrote, the prelude or whatever, I understood that this was going to be told from, I don't know, different perspectives, so I readied myself for that. The problem is, the transitions from third person to first person were very abrupt. For me anyways, that made it hard for me to really get into to either perspective all that much, let alone understand the greater message that you were trying to put across to me as the reader. I ended up reading it a bunch of times, different ways like every other line, backwards, fucking whatever, trying to figure out what you meant by subliminal messages, and you're damn right because I couldn't find them for shit. Now granted, I'm not the most abstract thinker in the world. All of my writing tends to be more straightforward, so for all I know, maybe someone else who has that sort of mind would understand it much more so than I did. But unfortunately for you, that isn't me lol. Even though I know I missed pretty major themes here, I still enjoyed reading it. It was quite different than what we tend to see in this league.

Bulldog, your piece was very straightforward, which, on one hand, bodes well for you because your opponents was not. On the other hand, it sort of came across as ever so slightly ordinary. The flow was consistent, but the rhymes were pretty plain. I didn't really care for some of the wording you used.

Blood Staining chest, possessed to depressed..

Do you mean, blood stained chest, possessed to BE depressed? That would certain make more sense. As it stands, that entire line is pretty harsh grammatically lol. There were other things like this throughout that sort of threw me off a little. You could have definitely gained by having a few more lines to work with as well. The plot was easy to follow, but it really wasn't developed a whole hell of a lot.

I don't know man, overall, I actually enjoyed reading Oneric's more than Bulldog's, but I really didn't get what all Oneric was trying to say, so I basically missed the entire point, either due to unclear writing, or my dense mind, I'm not sure which. Because of that, I think it would be kind of bootleg to vote for his. So I gave it to Bull Dog..

**By the way, stick around..The league is just coming off of a tournament so things were a little rough this week, but it will definitely pick up from here.

[oNeiRiC]

great feedback, thanks tali and rest

the sumbliminal messages, were just a message that the snake, or the devil, was specifically talking to the reader at this time, as if, IN REALITY, is working through my verse, and i had no say in it

:D

my fault for being un clear, i always... do this

[Bull Dog]

Didn't let me edit post where links were, so....

CONTENDERSHIP: 3. Dreamcaster 10-2 vs. 4. TeKneeK 74-40 vs. 5. Got Life? 41-24
http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...1#post14432935

word up on the votes yalll... good looks