Champ Match: 1. Seyance 13-0 v. 2. doYen 23-3

Insense · 05-02-2005, 04:44 PM

DUE DATES:

VERSES DUE Thursday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST

VOTES DUE Sunday 9:00pm PACIFIC/12:00 Midnight EST

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LINE LIMIT:

4 lines - NO SHOWS
14 lines - MINIMUM
60 lines - MAXIMUM

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VOTING:

No payback votes
No 2nd Chance Votes
No hate votes

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YOU MUST VOTE ON 5 BATTLES!

If you can show me you can vote of 5 or more matches this first couple of
weeks I will make it so you dont have to post links to the matches u voted on.
But for now...
For every vote you fail to submit and post a link for in your own
match, you will be deducted 1 vote.

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No Show Voting Rule

People who win via a no show, MUST vote on two battles in order to recieve credit for the win. If you don't vote on two other matches then your record will be left as it was coming into this week.

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if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!

!!KICK SOME FUCKING ASS!!

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TOPIC:

This Week's Topics May 2nd to 8th

Choose a topic from the link posted above.

doYen · 05-02-2005, 06:30 PM

all i can say is bring your A-game

Seyance · 05-04-2005, 12:41 PM

When you look into my eyes...
...you see that oppisites attract.

Narrator

When the jealous moon has crept behind the shade of the stars
Pagan gods begin their ritual of shaping the fog, they’ll hark
And the gates of flesh are opened in exchange for your heart
What we wish to bring to daylight still remains in the dark

You narrators from far, from my chamber I call.
Take the story that I've told and may you tell it to all...

And so it began, that this poor little man
Took off through the bog with a rose in his hand
And a memory that was dazing like an opium plant
Setting sails on a ship that was hoping to strand
With a shovel and a flashlight he arrived at the graves
A scent of death all around him like a pious embrace
The headstone stood silently surrounded by haze
Loving words were forever but the body had changed
Through the sludge and the mire her scent appeared
Like a present sent from heaven to a friend so dear
As her fingernail protruded through her permanent case
Bearing nothing but a lament and the burden of days
He quickly grabbed his shovel as he dug into earth
And the smells of her demise mixed her love with his mirth
Fore the pallid moon had brightened up the burial grounds
Her figure had been placed on the most sacred of mounds

She smelled like death!

Her maggot skin and carcass breath, she need not speak, my heart is deaf
Now shadows veil her darkened crest, Oh! Why am I in love with flesh
And there she lay like silver stars on planetary plates
Her face so full of death and time and capillary breaks
He examined her and cursed the skies, the vile, waning moon
The wrists that once were kissed were now two giant gaping wounds
The blood had run; fled from her and life had joined the stream
The earth had drank and lulled her into blood-anointed dreams
The maggots had been first to feed on her and her alone
Even other graves sent whispers through their world of stone
Such beauty could not last; she was dead when she was born
Whoever falls in love with death repents for evermore
But little did the poor man know how fate would interrupt
His journey while he sailed as a stranger in her flux

I smelled her breath!

Those carcass eyes in lifeless nests, God help me as I rob her crest
Oh why am I in love with death, my sharpened love now parts her flesh
Thus death combined with life; musty air from six feet deep
In her sleep she kept her screams but heard his whispered speech
Pregnant with his murder child, who'll come into this world and die
She then let out one perfect cry, and rain fell from a burdened sky

"As you are now, so I will be, so breathe once more & die with me"

The ground was wet; worms appeared, like nightmares from your worst of fears
The ground was dead, but more appeared...
...listen - how they called him near
"You poor man, you weak man, you've stolen her from us.
Now fly you must and follow us dirt-mowing birds of dust"
They ate his flesh; reached the bone, erected him a grieving stone
Once the grave was finished he would never ever leave his home
Veiled in black of death's disease, he lay in angst and ecstasy
And when I smelled the foul air I almost had her next to me
But she was north where he was south, unsure if he should grieve or shout
Decisions then for him were made as sainted maggots sealed his mouth
Never would he speak again, his travel had now reached its end
The worms were there for him to love if only he would be with them
With a howling scream her water broke she groped the earth to soothe the pain
Her strength was gone her blood ran dry; lifeless she still pushed in vain
One final thrust, her head swung back and grass met her succumbing brain
Her skull was cracked; she was dead no parents left to choose a name

In burning leaves they carried him. A funeral for sharing him, one single rose for burying
My newborn son will mark my grave, I did my best, in dark we lay

And this is why a man should never fall in love with death. A child born of death will forever be damned!

doYen · 05-05-2005, 11:02 PM

Let's Get Ready To Rumble
Fight Announcer of Professional Boxing

the noise of the crowd is like a swarm of locust
there voices are loud i inform my coaches - that im surely focused
my lawyer sits down i shut the door and close it
he exploits the amount, and now my poors are open
the promoters poke in...
5/4 i wont win, those are the odds against me
so i prey to god to give me his faith in this boxing frenzy
a million dollars simply...if i take the fall they'll give me
"#1 Contender, (10-0)"...my happy thoughts are emptied
it's all a plot to end me, politics and lots of envy
the referee's been paid off and all the judges got the benjis
and each was bought a bently...this game is not so friendly
and now im forced to make a choice...dont think i got it in me
i pray may god forgive me...

see all my life i've trained for boxing, and now i've got my title shot
but i have to weight my options...do i want my life or not?
fight the champ, or fight the plot? either way i might get dropped
by a lot of these kaniving cocks who want to buy the pot
it was such a vital shock when they told me i'd be popped
if i didn't throw the match and plus they'd force my wife to watch
see we just tied the knot, bought a house and giant yaght
she was six and a half months pregnant...so this is why i stopped
to put my pride on lock, because the price was hot
and seven figures is better than being inside a box
but if i win i'll be the champ!!!...it's getting close to 9 o'clock
and im nervous cause it's sort of worthless if i die on top
let's go it's time to box...
i go ina mental trance...
approach in a timid stance applauded by critic chants
all of in which who've paid to witness this vicious dance
my adrenaline's full nothch but im strickened by vivid cramps
from intimidation of threats gave suddenly in advance
cause its not everyday oppurtunity comes and you get the chance
to be known as a hero,idol, or title winnin champ
producing blood, sweat, and tears's what i have to give the fans
and then i glance...

at my opponent, the bell sounds, and intensity rises
he shuffle his feet, and swings at me, but he missed me, i timed it
i swung with full force and put a little slit on his eyelid
he fell back on the ropes, groggy, then a minute of silence
went in my mind it, was a split second, i visioned the violence
of what would happen if the champions were switched, and if I win
would they really kill me? and would it make a difference to my kids?
i looked in the crowd to see my wife, she was missing, my eyes went
into the back of my head...his fist would collide quick
a right hook, im quite shook...then my senses subsided
my face pummeled the mat...unforgetable crisis
with a rapid count from the ref...1-10, i was prideless
where's these men with my wife it....was buggin me in fact
the fight was over, i stood quick to run into the back
full speed into the locker room, with nothing in my tracks
but the fear that my wife was prolly stuffed up in a sack
i BARGE IN...the promoters are standing, they come to me and clap
and started explaining as they handed me the money in the bag
they said they took her, cause if i worried, i'd fumble my attack
and let pride get in the way, it was funny and i laughed
that's when the door opened...i saw my only love and i was at
a comfort level, i took a deeeeep breath, she jumped into my lap
she hugged me we relaxed....then looked up in the bag
to see the million plus another million bundled up in stacks
...

FREEDOM FIGHTER

05-06-2005, 02:24 AM

Thanks for showing and goodluck to both of you

Seyance · 05-06-2005, 07:25 AM

Votes

http://board.rapmusic.com/rapmusics-storytelling-league/884599-25-crosswordz-1-1-v-26-sexcfem21-0-0-a.html#post11889704
http://board.rapmusic.com/rapmusic-audio-league/884576-15-ninjakid-7-6-v-16-tremendous-4-1-a.html#post11889724
http://board.rapmusic.com/rapmusic-audio-league/884577-13-noib-da-mutt-27-11-v-14-cogzwell-10-7-a.html#post11889737
http://board.rapmusic.com/rapmusics-storytelling-league/884600-23-insanity-1-0-v-24-v0id-1-0-a.html#post11889758
http://board.rapmusic.com/rapmusic-audio-league/884575-17-soular-guided-7-5-v-18-mandarin-2-0-5-2-a.html#post11889781

Alex Pander · 05-06-2005, 08:04 AM

Seyance, damn boy, you was killin that flow, it was like butter. By far superior to you previous weeks. That story was dope too. I liked the way it moved at such a fast pace, really kept me into it. The content itself was nice, you really brought out the imagery and told in great details of a mans love affair with death. Your imagery and attention to details is what really makes your verses stand out. You paint such vivid pictures. I was really feelin you this week, more so than in your past adventures. You brought out the tops in you.

Doyen you was bringin fire with that flow too. Normally though we can expect that from you. I was feelin the story, it was a big suspensful moment, although the wiser choice is to take the dive, you did a good job of leading up to that, now I don't see the man in the back laughin with the promoters after all that, but whatevers whatever right. The story did progress nicely and you had some good details in there. And I liked how you tied the two topics together.

A damn fine champ match. It came down to who I was feelin a little more.

Vote Sey

CrossWordz · 05-06-2005, 01:07 PM

I'm gonna go with seyance taking this one. Doy I liked reading your verse, it was straight, reminded me of some movies I seen in the past. Especially like your use of multis, they was in abundance and I thought it was good, just seemed like to me it was taking a while to lead up to its conclusion, plus I wish there would of been more with the fight then just two punches. Sey yours was good with the imagery and everything, flowed well, not as good as Doys tho. the story was pretty cool, creative and twisted. it was movin in a quick way and that helped the development.

MindScape · 05-06-2005, 01:37 PM

Seyance: You brought what you do every week, a verse jam packed with imagery. The fact that you allow yourself to focus on what seems every detail just adds fuel to that fire. Now I will say that your flow this week was the best I've seen from you, if you can bring it like this every week I think it will make your verses more appealing. Your story moved along nicely and developed well. I enjoyed reading it, basically because you make it so easy for me to picture everything. And its nice to see a verse that shows a little creativity.

Doyen: I love your flow, honestly its the best in the league IMO. Why? Because your consistent with it. Your imagery was good as well. I especially thought it was strong when you were describing the fight scene. Now I'll agree with the man above me in saying I wish there were more punches thrown but thats just because I'm an avid boxing fan. I felt your story moved along the way it should, at a comfortable pace while keeping the reader wondering what the boxer was gonna do. In part I almost expected a commercial break towards the end. I wasn't paticularly fond of the ending with all of them sitting around lauging. I wanted the man to win the title and keep his girl.

Vote : Seyance

CogzWell · 05-06-2005, 01:59 PM

I always try to vote on the champ matches and contender matches, because without taking away from the rest of the league. These are the matches were everyone really brings out their best and that helps me develop as a writer. Learning from people. Doyen I liked the struggle the man had within himself. Do you give up everything just so people will call you champ or do you give up something you workded so hard to achieve just for money and a girl. A man in his position I could see the trouble in deciding. I liked the action in the story, that gave it a nice aspect of reading and I think you approached those topics especially the Freedom Fighter one in a nice way. You combined them well. The emotion was there on a small level and I think you did a good job developing your character. Sey your verse moved at faster speed. From what I gather, your story was about an undying love, two people in deep love seperated in death as in life and even tho they are near they can't reside with eachother. Thats what i got, which is a dope take on everything. Your verse gave off this real somber and gloomy mood to it. Your imagery was on point like usual. I liked the way the story kept moving even up to the end, helped to keep my interest.

I'm going to vote with Sey

Even tho I think this match is a lot closer than it may seem.

Cereal_Killer · 05-06-2005, 10:11 PM

Seyance:
Man I’ll be honest I don’t think I’ve read your work before. Very smooth kept to your rhyme scheme with ok wording. Im in this whole dark mood lately over chicks so I was enjoying the emotions u put into this story. Story was cool, straight forward for your usual necro stories, I thought the baby was a nice touch.

Those carcass eyes in lifeless nests, God help me as I rob her crest
Oh why am I in love with death, my sharpened love now parts her flesh

nice lines.

8.12/10

Vern:
Your flow was insane opening stanza and bottom the middle fell a bit imo though. Story was very detailed imo some bits dragged a lil yeh but you crammed other lines with heaps of info so it compensated. I think in this if u had wrote from his wives point of view a lil it would have gave a bigger BANG on the end, end was still cool.

8.1/10

Vote = seyance

Ok so it come down to this, I had to read em like 4 times each so…
Seyance had more simple lines rhyme wise compared to verns cpl of stanzas but his story imo felt like he pushed it more into reality with the real emotion running through it, where as verns was a dope story but emotion lack a lil.

Ill match boys

Awedishin · 05-07-2005, 04:03 AM

both very dope verses...

seyance, this is by far the best verse i've read from you yet, you relaly stepped up your game and I, for one, can appreciate it cuz I ain't gonna lie, I didn't really see why you were undefeated to this point. Excellent flow, smooooooothhhhhhh and steady, and the twist on the end was really cool with the birth and everything, I can see how much work was put into this and I can really appreciate the effort

vern, great story again, as always. I liked the use of both topics, they tied together very well, the ending seemed a smidge rushed and shorter than it should have been, IMO, but not drastically cut off or anything. I loved the plot development, the incredible detail and imagery involved that put the picture in my head clear as day. the 2 punch thing was a little weird, but when I thought about it, if you're gonna take a dive on purpose, you're not gonna let your brains get smashed in for round after round when you can knock it out early, not to mention he didn't take it on purpose, he turned and caught a hot one unsuspectingly.

this was so tough, honestly, one of the best matches I've seen in so long.

vote = Vern, I dunno, it was so incredibly close but his story was so fucking cool...it really had me wrapped to the end

great match guys, good luck

LDogg The King · 05-07-2005, 04:55 AM

this was a good match.. i cant take away from either this week, but one verse really stood out.. the boxing story.. the straight forward follow through of it.. the word perfect flow.. it was just really well written, fell off a bit towards the end.. i think thats where you went wrong this week.. not one of the stronger verses from you, but it was written well... seyence.. i donno.. somthing about the way you write just doesnt appeal to me.. i dont know what exactly it is but every week i get the same vibe.. i do think you came more consistent this week.. good use of creative lines and it was felt.. but the boxing story from vern was just more fun to read.. seems like a story that hasnt been read latly.. it had a fresh concept unlike yours which felt more common...

vote vern

Tha Talent · 05-07-2005, 06:03 PM

seyance is about to tie Omen's record.
at least this is one of the best verses i've read from you, to tie the record.

TBOMBA · 05-07-2005, 10:09 PM

Seyance- when i signed in last week and read ur verse, 2 tell u the truth, i didnt understand shit. this one was much easier 2 picture and feel wat the guy was feeling. it had a good flow and great structure, ez 2 read, and the rhyme scheme was perfect

doyen- i think u deserve the vote on this one cus ur vote reminds me of a Rocky story or some shit like that. the rhyme scheme was great, but at some parts it didnt totally rhyme.great topic 2 choose, cus it is easy 2 imagine a boxing match. and i kinda liked the happy ending, where his wife came, and they were all happy and gay lol

my v/ doyen

Mandarin 2.0 · 05-08-2005, 08:57 AM

Seyance - i liked the flow and the stoyr. thought your descriptive words helped add to teh flavor of this verse. It really pulled me in and grabbed my attention. was really likin the way you took this.

Doyen - liked the flow and the story was good. a suspensful one where you tried to keep the reader on edge. Yo udescribed the evnts well but I kind of figured out what he was gonna do. Nice wy to get in touch with his thoughts tho.

Vote - Seyance

Insanity · 05-08-2005, 03:46 PM

Seyance- this is the first verse I've read from you and damn... I'm impressed. Vivid imagery, great flow, great overall story. A top notch verse for sure. Only problem is I kinda lost interest as the story seemed to get repetative and kinda drag on.

Vern- Great drop. Flow and scheme solid as always. The story was great. I loved it. It really kept me on the edge of my seat.

vote- doyen

Awaken · 05-08-2005, 09:28 PM

Seyance - Wow, your verse was so amazing. Everything seemed to be on point and flawless. The story made sense all the way through...and you didn't stray off not once. Flow was epic, vocab was pretty amazing, and just, everything came together to make a pretty flawless piece. No wonder why you're 13-0.

Doyen - Wow, after reading seyance's verse, I really thought you didn't have much to offer, but this verse was pretty flawless as well as amazing. Also, I love boxing, so this story kept me hooked on the whole time. And with that, i loved it, the flow was perfect...vocab was decent, perfect to fit the topic. So on that note......ehhhhhhh, Doyen gets it, but fuck, close battle.

v/ Doyen

Ninja Kid · 05-08-2005, 11:23 PM

Seyance - Everything worked together beautifully, flow, scheme, subject matter, the direction you took the story, the progression everythin was great. The only knock I have is I think you couldve included more multies.

Doyen - Ditto, everything was great in your verse. I honestly can't think of a criticism for your verse. Dope Shit.

Vote - Vern...

RIKOSHAY · 05-08-2005, 11:58 PM

Tied 6-6 but doYen posted no links so,

Seyance wins!
doYen loses!

05-02-2005, 04:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
Insense take one... Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Clarksville, TN Posts: 2,833	Champ Match: 1. Seyance 13-0 v. 2. doYen 23-3 DUE DATES: VERSES DUE Thursday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST VOTES DUE Sunday 9:00pm PACIFIC/12:00 Midnight EST -----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+----- LINE LIMIT: 4 lines - NO SHOWS 14 lines - MINIMUM 60 lines - MAXIMUM -----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+----- VOTING: No payback votes No 2nd Chance Votes No hate votes -----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+----- YOU MUST VOTE ON 5 BATTLES! If you can show me you can vote of 5 or more matches this first couple of weeks I will make it so you dont have to post links to the matches u voted on. But for now... For every vote you fail to submit and post a link for in your own match, you will be deducted 1 vote. -----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+----- No Show Voting Rule People who win via a no show, MUST vote on two battles in order to recieve credit for the win. If you don't vote on two other matches then your record will be left as it was coming into this week. -----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+----- if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!! !!KICK SOME FUCKING ASS!! -----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+----- TOPIC: This Week's Topics May 2nd to 8th Choose a topic from the link posted above. __________________ Urban Legends "think once, a second thought...a second too late/second thought caused life to pass/you was just a second too late/and on second thought...wait, let me think a little bit/damn there it goes again/life's a bitch, don't second guess that trick.../"-Insense myspace (2)x RSTL Champion

05-02-2005, 06:30 PM	#2 (permalink)
doYen Man Above All Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 481	all i can say is bring your A-game __________________ oo0 RSTL 11x CHAMP 0 oo [oo 0 VOTE THE ELITE 0 oo

05-04-2005, 12:41 PM	#3 (permalink)
Seyance RSTL BITER!! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 181	When you look into my eyes... ...you see that oppisites attract. Narrator When the jealous moon has crept behind the shade of the stars Pagan gods begin their ritual of shaping the fog, they’ll hark And the gates of flesh are opened in exchange for your heart What we wish to bring to daylight still remains in the dark You narrators from far, from my chamber I call. Take the story that I've told and may you tell it to all... And so it began, that this poor little man Took off through the bog with a rose in his hand And a memory that was dazing like an opium plant Setting sails on a ship that was hoping to strand With a shovel and a flashlight he arrived at the graves A scent of death all around him like a pious embrace The headstone stood silently surrounded by haze Loving words were forever but the body had changed Through the sludge and the mire her scent appeared Like a present sent from heaven to a friend so dear As her fingernail protruded through her permanent case Bearing nothing but a lament and the burden of days He quickly grabbed his shovel as he dug into earth And the smells of her demise mixed her love with his mirth Fore the pallid moon had brightened up the burial grounds Her figure had been placed on the most sacred of mounds She smelled like death! Her maggot skin and carcass breath, she need not speak, my heart is deaf Now shadows veil her darkened crest, Oh! Why am I in love with flesh And there she lay like silver stars on planetary plates Her face so full of death and time and capillary breaks He examined her and cursed the skies, the vile, waning moon The wrists that once were kissed were now two giant gaping wounds The blood had run; fled from her and life had joined the stream The earth had drank and lulled her into blood-anointed dreams The maggots had been first to feed on her and her alone Even other graves sent whispers through their world of stone Such beauty could not last; she was dead when she was born Whoever falls in love with death repents for evermore But little did the poor man know how fate would interrupt His journey while he sailed as a stranger in her flux I smelled her breath! Those carcass eyes in lifeless nests, God help me as I rob her crest Oh why am I in love with death, my sharpened love now parts her flesh Thus death combined with life; musty air from six feet deep In her sleep she kept her screams but heard his whispered speech Pregnant with his murder child, who'll come into this world and die She then let out one perfect cry, and rain fell from a burdened sky "As you are now, so I will be, so breathe once more & die with me" The ground was wet; worms appeared, like nightmares from your worst of fears The ground was dead, but more appeared... ...listen - how they called him near "You poor man, you weak man, you've stolen her from us. Now fly you must and follow us dirt-mowing birds of dust" They ate his flesh; reached the bone, erected him a grieving stone Once the grave was finished he would never ever leave his home Veiled in black of death's disease, he lay in angst and ecstasy And when I smelled the foul air I almost had her next to me But she was north where he was south, unsure if he should grieve or shout Decisions then for him were made as sainted maggots sealed his mouth Never would he speak again, his travel had now reached its end The worms were there for him to love if only he would be with them With a howling scream her water broke she groped the earth to soothe the pain Her strength was gone her blood ran dry; lifeless she still pushed in vain One final thrust, her head swung back and grass met her succumbing brain Her skull was cracked; she was dead no parents left to choose a name In burning leaves they carried him. A funeral for sharing him, one single rose for burying My newborn son will mark my grave, I did my best, in dark we lay And this is why a man should never fall in love with death. A child born of death will forever be damned! Last edited by Seyance; 05-05-2005 at 08:44 AM.

05-05-2005, 11:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
doYen Man Above All Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 481	*Let's Get Ready To Rumble* Fight Announcer of Professional Boxing the noise of the crowd is like a swarm of locust there voices are loud i inform my coaches - that im surely focused my lawyer sits down i shut the door and close it he exploits the amount, and now my poors are open the promoters poke in... 5/4 i wont win, those are the odds against me so i prey to god to give me his faith in this boxing frenzy a million dollars simply...if i take the fall they'll give me "#1 Contender, (10-0)"...my happy thoughts are emptied it's all a plot to end me, politics and lots of envy the referee's been paid off and all the judges got the benjis and each was bought a bently...this game is not so friendly and now im forced to make a choice...dont think i got it in me i pray may god forgive me... see all my life i've trained for boxing, and now i've got my title shot but i have to weight my options...do i want my life or not? fight the champ, or fight the plot? either way i might get dropped by a lot of these kaniving cocks who want to buy the pot it was such a vital shock when they told me i'd be popped if i didn't throw the match and plus they'd force my wife to watch see we just tied the knot, bought a house and giant yaght she was six and a half months pregnant...so this is why i stopped to put my pride on lock, because the price was hot and seven figures is better than being inside a box but if i win i'll be the champ!!!...it's getting close to 9 o'clock and im nervous cause it's sort of worthless if i die on top let's go it's time to box... i go ina mental trance... approach in a timid stance applauded by critic chants all of in which who've paid to witness this vicious dance my adrenaline's full nothch but im strickened by vivid cramps from intimidation of threats gave suddenly in advance cause its not everyday oppurtunity comes and you get the chance to be known as a hero,idol, or title winnin champ producing blood, sweat, and tears's what i have to give the fans and then i glance... at my opponent, the bell sounds, and intensity rises he shuffle his feet, and swings at me, but he missed me, i timed it i swung with full force and put a little slit on his eyelid he fell back on the ropes, groggy, then a minute of silence went in my mind it, was a split second, i visioned the violence of what would happen if the champions were switched, and if I win would they really kill me? and would it make a difference to my kids? i looked in the crowd to see my wife, she was missing, my eyes went into the back of my head...his fist would collide quick a right hook, im quite shook...then my senses subsided my face pummeled the mat...unforgetable crisis with a rapid count from the ref...1-10, i was prideless where's these men with my wife it....was buggin me in fact the fight was over, i stood quick to run into the back full speed into the locker room, with nothing in my tracks but the fear that my wife was prolly stuffed up in a sack i BARGE IN...the promoters are standing, they come to me and clap and started explaining as they handed me the money in the bag they said they took her, cause if i worried, i'd fumble my attack and let pride get in the way, it was funny and i laughed that's when the door opened...i saw my only love and i was at a comfort level, i took a deeeeep breath, she jumped into my lap she hugged me we relaxed....then looked up in the bag to see the million plus another million bundled up in stacks ... FREEDOM FIGHTER __________________ oo0 RSTL 11x CHAMP 0 oo [oo 0 VOTE THE ELITE 0 oo Last edited by doYen; 05-05-2005 at 11:06 PM.

05-06-2005, 01:37 PM	#9 (permalink)
MindScape Registered User Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 629	Seyance: You brought what you do every week, a verse jam packed with imagery. The fact that you allow yourself to focus on what seems every detail just adds fuel to that fire. Now I will say that your flow this week was the best I've seen from you, if you can bring it like this every week I think it will make your verses more appealing. Your story moved along nicely and developed well. I enjoyed reading it, basically because you make it so easy for me to picture everything. And its nice to see a verse that shows a little creativity. Doyen: I love your flow, honestly its the best in the league IMO. Why? Because your consistent with it. Your imagery was good as well. I especially thought it was strong when you were describing the fight scene. Now I'll agree with the man above me in saying I wish there were more punches thrown but thats just because I'm an avid boxing fan. I felt your story moved along the way it should, at a comfortable pace while keeping the reader wondering what the boxer was gonna do. In part I almost expected a commercial break towards the end. I wasn't paticularly fond of the ending with all of them sitting around lauging. I wanted the man to win the title and keep his girl. Vote : Seyance __________________ *Grown Folkz Crew* A poetically fused artist bound by the love of expression and the need to reshape your perception. With a gift of interpretation, he interprets everyday life into a mindscape of visual pictures and eloquent story lines

05-06-2005, 02:24 AM	#5 (permalink)
MANchyld Guest Posts: n/a	Thanks for showing and goodluck to both of you

05-06-2005, 07:25 AM	#6 (permalink)
Seyance RSTL BITER!! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 181	Votes http://board.rapmusic.com/rapmusics-storytelling-league/884599-25-crosswordz-1-1-v-26-sexcfem21-0-0-a.html#post11889704 http://board.rapmusic.com/rapmusic-audio-league/884576-15-ninjakid-7-6-v-16-tremendous-4-1-a.html#post11889724 http://board.rapmusic.com/rapmusic-audio-league/884577-13-noib-da-mutt-27-11-v-14-cogzwell-10-7-a.html#post11889737 http://board.rapmusic.com/rapmusics-storytelling-league/884600-23-insanity-1-0-v-24-v0id-1-0-a.html#post11889758 http://board.rapmusic.com/rapmusic-audio-league/884575-17-soular-guided-7-5-v-18-mandarin-2-0-5-2-a.html#post11889781

05-06-2005, 08:04 AM	#7 (permalink)
Alex Pander Registered User Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 284	Seyance, damn boy, you was killin that flow, it was like butter. By far superior to you previous weeks. That story was dope too. I liked the way it moved at such a fast pace, really kept me into it. The content itself was nice, you really brought out the imagery and told in great details of a mans love affair with death. Your imagery and attention to details is what really makes your verses stand out. You paint such vivid pictures. I was really feelin you this week, more so than in your past adventures. You brought out the tops in you. Doyen you was bringin fire with that flow too. Normally though we can expect that from you. I was feelin the story, it was a big suspensful moment, although the wiser choice is to take the dive, you did a good job of leading up to that, now I don't see the man in the back laughin with the promoters after all that, but whatevers whatever right. The story did progress nicely and you had some good details in there. And I liked how you tied the two topics together. A damn fine champ match. It came down to who I was feelin a little more. Vote Sey

05-06-2005, 01:07 PM	#8 (permalink)
CrossWordz Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 15	I'm gonna go with seyance taking this one. Doy I liked reading your verse, it was straight, reminded me of some movies I seen in the past. Especially like your use of multis, they was in abundance and I thought it was good, just seemed like to me it was taking a while to lead up to its conclusion, plus I wish there would of been more with the fight then just two punches. Sey yours was good with the imagery and everything, flowed well, not as good as Doys tho. the story was pretty cool, creative and twisted. it was movin in a quick way and that helped the development.

05-06-2005, 01:59 PM	#10 (permalink)
CogzWell n/a Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 407	I always try to vote on the champ matches and contender matches, because without taking away from the rest of the league. These are the matches were everyone really brings out their best and that helps me develop as a writer. Learning from people. Doyen I liked the struggle the man had within himself. Do you give up everything just so people will call you champ or do you give up something you workded so hard to achieve just for money and a girl. A man in his position I could see the trouble in deciding. I liked the action in the story, that gave it a nice aspect of reading and I think you approached those topics especially the Freedom Fighter one in a nice way. You combined them well. The emotion was there on a small level and I think you did a good job developing your character. Sey your verse moved at faster speed. From what I gather, your story was about an undying love, two people in deep love seperated in death as in life and even tho they are near they can't reside with eachother. Thats what i got, which is a dope take on everything. Your verse gave off this real somber and gloomy mood to it. Your imagery was on point like usual. I liked the way the story kept moving even up to the end, helped to keep my interest. I'm going to vote with Sey Even tho I think this match is a lot closer than it may seem. __________________ I Hate Myself

05-06-2005, 10:11 PM	#11 (permalink)
Cereal_Killer California Cornflakes Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In a tub of gutter glitter Posts: 3,178	Seyance: Man I’ll be honest I don’t think I’ve read your work before. Very smooth kept to your rhyme scheme with ok wording. Im in this whole dark mood lately over chicks so I was enjoying the emotions u put into this story. Story was cool, straight forward for your usual necro stories, I thought the baby was a nice touch. Those carcass eyes in lifeless nests, God help me as I rob her crest Oh why am I in love with death, my sharpened love now parts her flesh nice lines. 8.12/10 Vern: Your flow was insane opening stanza and bottom the middle fell a bit imo though. Story was very detailed imo some bits dragged a lil yeh but you crammed other lines with heaps of info so it compensated. I think in this if u had wrote from his wives point of view a lil it would have gave a bigger BANG on the end, end was still cool. 8.1/10 Vote = seyance Ok so it come down to this, I had to read em like 4 times each so… Seyance had more simple lines rhyme wise compared to verns cpl of stanzas but his story imo felt like he pushed it more into reality with the real emotion running through it, where as verns was a dope story but emotion lack a lil. Ill match boys __________________ :·.·: cocaine, genius, insomnia :·.·: .·.cereal killer . got life . inf truth.·. .. You're not likely to see a green CK Unless you've got a ticket with MDA ..

05-07-2005, 04:03 AM	#12 (permalink)
Awedishin Unbelievable Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Flow's alter-ego Posts: 5,640	both very dope verses... seyance, this is by far the best verse i've read from you yet, you relaly stepped up your game and I, for one, can appreciate it cuz I ain't gonna lie, I didn't really see why you were undefeated to this point. Excellent flow, smooooooothhhhhhh and steady, and the twist on the end was really cool with the birth and everything, I can see how much work was put into this and I can really appreciate the effort vern, great story again, as always. I liked the use of both topics, they tied together very well, the ending seemed a smidge rushed and shorter than it should have been, IMO, but not drastically cut off or anything. I loved the plot development, the incredible detail and imagery involved that put the picture in my head clear as day. the 2 punch thing was a little weird, but when I thought about it, if you're gonna take a dive on purpose, you're not gonna let your brains get smashed in for round after round when you can knock it out early, not to mention he didn't take it on purpose, he turned and caught a hot one unsuspectingly. this was so tough, honestly, one of the best matches I've seen in so long. vote = Vern, I dunno, it was so incredibly close but his story was so fucking cool...it really had me wrapped to the end great match guys, good luck __________________ fuck you I'm...Elite...bitches 4x RSTL Champ ....guess who's back....

05-07-2005, 04:55 AM	#13 (permalink)
LDogg The King S E A T T L E Join Date: Jan 2000 Location: Seattle Posts: 16,636	this was a good match.. i cant take away from either this week, but one verse really stood out.. the boxing story.. the straight forward follow through of it.. the word perfect flow.. it was just really well written, fell off a bit towards the end.. i think thats where you went wrong this week.. not one of the stronger verses from you, but it was written well... seyence.. i donno.. somthing about the way you write just doesnt appeal to me.. i dont know what exactly it is but every week i get the same vibe.. i do think you came more consistent this week.. good use of creative lines and it was felt.. but the boxing story from vern was just more fun to read.. seems like a story that hasnt been read latly.. it had a fresh concept unlike yours which felt more common... vote vern __________________ ELITE motherfuckers www.soundclick.com/downedshadow www.myspace.com/downedshadow I wish the game was reversed and my verse was the beat so you'd listen to me first, and then dance later... I aint dumbing down shit, you don't get it, get a fuckin translator - Bishop Lamont

05-07-2005, 06:03 PM	#14 (permalink)
Tha Talent , Tha Master. Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: in the hall of fame. Posts: 3,588	seyance is about to tie Omen's record. at least this is one of the best verses i've read from you, to tie the record. __________________ elitely smo Last edited by Tha Talent; 05-07-2005 at 06:04 PM.

05-07-2005, 10:09 PM	#15 (permalink)
TBOMBA Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: cincy,OH Posts: 37	Seyance- when i signed in last week and read ur verse, 2 tell u the truth, i didnt understand shit. this one was much easier 2 picture and feel wat the guy was feeling. it had a good flow and great structure, ez 2 read, and the rhyme scheme was perfect doyen- i think u deserve the vote on this one cus ur vote reminds me of a Rocky story or some shit like that. the rhyme scheme was great, but at some parts it didnt totally rhyme.great topic 2 choose, cus it is easy 2 imagine a boxing match. and i kinda liked the happy ending, where his wife came, and they were all happy and gay lol my v/ doyen __________________ comin 4 dat #1 spot

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05-08-2005, 08:57 AM	#16 (permalink)
Mandarin 2.0 Registered User Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 46	Seyance - i liked the flow and the stoyr. thought your descriptive words helped add to teh flavor of this verse. It really pulled me in and grabbed my attention. was really likin the way you took this. Doyen - liked the flow and the story was good. a suspensful one where you tried to keep the reader on edge. Yo udescribed the evnts well but I kind of figured out what he was gonna do. Nice wy to get in touch with his thoughts tho. Vote - Seyance

05-08-2005, 03:46 PM	#17 (permalink)
Insanity Retro Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Who's the great of the Hoosier State? Posts: 5,977	Seyance- this is the first verse I've read from you and damn... I'm impressed. Vivid imagery, great flow, great overall story. A top notch verse for sure. Only problem is I kinda lost interest as the story seemed to get repetative and kinda drag on. Vern- Great drop. Flow and scheme solid as always. The story was great. I loved it. It really kept me on the edge of my seat. vote- doyen __________________ !ND !NC HOOSIER DADDY

05-08-2005, 09:28 PM	#18 (permalink)
Awaken Registered User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: jerseyyy Posts: 73	Seyance - Wow, your verse was so amazing. Everything seemed to be on point and flawless. The story made sense all the way through...and you didn't stray off not once. Flow was epic, vocab was pretty amazing, and just, everything came together to make a pretty flawless piece. No wonder why you're 13-0. Doyen - Wow, after reading seyance's verse, I really thought you didn't have much to offer, but this verse was pretty flawless as well as amazing. Also, I love boxing, so this story kept me hooked on the whole time. And with that, i loved it, the flow was perfect...vocab was decent, perfect to fit the topic. So on that note......ehhhhhhh, Doyen gets it, but fuck, close battle. v/ Doyen

05-08-2005, 11:23 PM	#19 (permalink)
Ninja Kid AKA Jae Keeps Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 2,021	Seyance - Everything worked together beautifully, flow, scheme, subject matter, the direction you took the story, the progression everythin was great. The only knock I have is I think you couldve included more multies. Doyen - Ditto, everything was great in your verse. I honestly can't think of a criticism for your verse. Dope Shit. Vote - Vern... __________________ Right hand trapped in the box, Thinkin, rap's all I got, smoke too much pot. -Vordul Mega Double Entendre Got Life? & Ninja Kid Some Beats and Music Still Blazin Bitches...

05-08-2005, 11:58 PM	#20 (permalink)
RIKOSHAY Registered User Join Date: Oct 1999 Location: ~I heard it's not "Where ya from?" but "Where ya pay rent?".~ Big Boi Posts: 7,257	Tied 6-6 but doYen posted no links so, Seyance wins! doYen loses! Last edited by RIKOSHAY; 05-09-2005 at 12:54 AM.