championship: 1. tha talent (47-16) -v- 2. richard corey (22-5)

[DMeTRIUS]

DUE DATES


VERSES DUE Thursday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST/

VOTES DUE Sunday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST


TOPICS

Topics 7-11-2004

LINE LIMIT

4 lines - NO SHOWS
16 lines - MINIMAL
60 lines - MAXIMAL


VOTING

No payback votes
No 2nd Chance Votes


YOU MUST MUST MUST
POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

YOU MUST VOTE ON 6 BATTLES
for every vote you fail to submit and post a link for you will be deducted 1



if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!



Go Forth and Produce

[Richard Corey]

Hello Talent.

Trap vs. yo momma
Anaphora vs. Tekneek
Everkleer vs. Writemind
Noib da mutt vs. Equitus
Lucifer Leviathan vs. mr. gots
preferol vs. released evil

[Tha Talent]

Round 5
the rubber match, or maybe just another match in a long string.


"So now you know, a poet's job is never done
But I'm never overworked, cuz I'm still number one."

[Tha Talent]

meet mr. in-it-to-win-it, mr. all-means-mean-a-finish
no limit -
in this spinning world he's got no time for motion sickness
his hopes are vivid - his eyes have a flair begging you to dare
this ticking time bomb to explode in your face, so choose with care
your words if you ever choose so unwisely to speak to him
things go from bleak to dim if his paranioa gets a piece of him
and he can get a piece of you - well, he's on the streets at two
in the morning, not afternoon, delivering a package to
a man he'll never meet, for a man he'd always dreamed of being
don Vasquez, in charge of all the cocaine streaming
in from Peru, and Juanito's just a man with hopes
and muscle
so the don's got him in the hustle to smuggle kilograms of coke
he's only eighteen, left his family back in Bogata
resented their working class life, the lack of hope involved
in the nine to five, always dreamt he'd find his life
in a limosine while living C.R.E.A.M., to flea the grind and strife
...
the months have past, Juanito is now Juan - enrapt in a glower
it seems every package of powder puts him faster in power
the don is smoking thick Cubanos while Juan's choking weak Cubanos
he's got a penchant for violence and a murder streak that follows
Vasquez calls, he does, not the type to ask questions
he's fast lessened the don's grip, gaining trust and cash with it
his last mission, some Hatians taking greater rations
profit racketeering, now Vasquez needs to bash their teeth in
it may be Mafioso - they don't use piano ropes around the throat though
to take a knife and take a life, blood squirting on clothes
to watch the mans eyes buldge as his whole life's shone
flashing in front of him, then pull the dagger, as the blood flows
THAT is murder - the way Juan's homicidal life goes
he likes those last looks of his enemies
figures that's the way it is, the Hatian's dark skin was meant to be emptied
"Vasquez sent me" the last words the Hatian hears
he'll never be able to let the message escape to ears
of others - Juan returns to Panama for his next assignment
blood matted in his white shirt, but he doesn't mind it
...
Vasquez was sitting at a table, white picnic table near the garden
white suit and cap, speaking, while his grin and lear were hardened
his audience for the evening were Ricardo Marcón from Miami,
the man he had trusted with his American distribution handling
and Tony Molito, a right wing conservative politician
from Columbia, who had helped Vasquez in moving shipments
and as they spoke, Juan approached, and Vasquez waved a beckon
the three men of power spoke of riches, gold and influence
all avalible to Juan if he can make some problem causers dissappear
Molito was being accused of being shady in his spheres
of influence - of course this was a just accusation
sixty bombs to be placed around the capitál - homes of complaintants
Juan was to organize the operation - command men
the first time he had been given power of rank - to command death
Vasquez had put his large, pudgy arm over the boy
told him he was a soldier in war, but one day soon would be a general
and with that, lit up four Cubano's - special blend - smell of menthol
...
and Juan was now in power - a hacienda in northern Peru
he had achieved his dream, his scheme, it seemed, had finally come through
he was a man of influence, the small coke dealers called him don
he had killed his family, blown his city to shambles, just for this all
he had ripped open so many men's chests, just for this all
he had placed a bomb underneath his father's desk, just for this all
he had sold coke to young kids, ruined futures, just for this all
he had won...the rat race was over, this was his dream, this was his call
he owned the limelight, he owned the sun, he had enough dough to by the moon
meet the man who could bask in the glory of blood, not feeling doom

mr. all means are justified if the end is met.
only the man with no conscious can bask in his glory.

[Richard Corey]

To Conceal the Truth -- Utopia 2104


My fellow Americans… Now is not the time
to live as hellions, zealots with rebellion-sodden minds.
In crime-hobbled times designed to blind hardened eyes
we must live together tethered, confined and homogenized.
Today we face a new frontier; bright sky’s blue, sincere,
true and dear. My friends if you could see the view from here…

He’s taken the aisle seat. In the upright position
he glances at the attendant, uptight he fidgets
Eon Johnson’s usually not the type that flinches
But he’s knows this is a one-time type of mission
He tries to hide his flat package under his armpit
“Sir, may I store your things in the upper compartment?”
“No…no…” Eon interrupts her.
“But sir,”
she stammers as another passenger passes and shoves her.
“Excuse You!” She rolls her eyes, but then catches herself
shifting her eyes, almost nervously, as if for her health.
Eon reaches out to her just as she leaves as if possessed.
The plane jerks with a subdued roar from its massive chest.
Eon grips his package tight in his excited clutch
“Let me guess,” an old woman asks, “You don’t fly that much.”

That’s why I’m supporting Proposition Seventy-Four
So terrorism can nevermore, kiss our heavenly shores,
The President licks his lips, These are enemies of freedom.
We will find, lock and bind them, wherever we see them.
With alien ideologies, they murder with sabors of war…
They are evil beings: sadists, rebels, rapists and more.
Please believe, our strategery is from our savior and Lord.
Its not spying,” he smiles. ”After all, that’s what neighbors are for?”

The city of Utopia, a hub-bub pub of bubbling lights.
Amidst architecture’s muddled designs, men huddle in line.
Where rebels lept over trebleclefs and dared to utter to spite
the city of Utopia. Where compliance is its own subtle delight.
The hustle and bustle of flight ends. Eon traverses the port
Faceless, nameless to most…playing a silent murderous sport.
He walks quickly, checking his pockets for any evidence he’s left.
Pass the news stands with the T.V.s of the President’s address.
Eon stops, stares at the screen, not hearing the cocking of hammers
Staring at the President, who twitches in an inhuman manner…
The shot rings out…
Brought into this world alone, the sound hung in the air
A young bystander is hit, his limp body flung in a chair.
The Guardians, Utopia’s security, fire police issued pistols
Into the crowd at Eon, “The terrorist is in our visual!”
They fires over and over, while Eon ducks behind strangers,
A sadly brain-dead citizen unable to recognize danger.
A woman’s spleen flies in his path, and sticks to his Tims
Eon pulls out a gun, points, aims and empties the clip.

Civil Rights? This bill will not affect Civil Rights. Still, it’s my
right as President to ensure my citizens are full-filled in life.
If that means some liberal tree-huggers will have some bad dreams
So be it… sometimes, too much freedom is a bad thing.”

“DRIVE!!” Eon yelled in the back seat of the cab…
bleeding from his side and missing a back piece of his calf!
“Where am we going?!” asked the cabbie, who regains control.
Eon pulls the gun, “SHUT UP! JUST GO, GO, GO!!”
They speed away, the cabbie yells, “Please sir, what’ll you do?!”
“The people,” Eon breathed…
“The people must know they can rebuttal the ‘truth’.”

[The President’s address stammers]
…we, will fight…Let’s Roll…bring it on..

Eon steps out the cab, grabs his package’s strap to sling it on.
The news station appears empty but it feels stupid still
So he grabs the driver, Ahmad, to use as a human shield.
“GET BACK! I’LL SHOOT HIM!” Eon grabs his holstered gun
but the Guardian shot Ahmad to the beat of exploding lungs…
And poor Ahmad falls, dying with his insides opened up
Muttering to himself, “I love Utopia”
“I love Utopia…”

Eon hits the staircase, knowing they’ll probably get him
But not before he finds the control room and the audio system.
He finds the door, rushes in, with his quickly centered tech
But the news crew has long been replaced by the Internet
Controlled by the Presidents constituence and interests.
Eon barricaded the door, with desks and a padlock
Grabbed his package…and pulled out the laptop.

So support your government as we support bill seventy-four
this is America. … Need I say anymore…say anymore…say anymore..

The virus was easy to drop, so when the door crashed in
They couldn’t stop the global mainframe flat-grid from crashing
And as the team carried Eon away from the scene
Over the audio the audience heard him scream,
“HE’S A MACHINE!!”
“The President’s a machine!!” A truth not hard to spy
but to the darkened eyes of Utopians, truth was a bargain buy.
Truth was sold in shiny gold wrappers, nicely molded plaster
vases or in the faces of a fleet of programmed mechanical masters.
In reality, the Truth has always been horrifyingly easy to conceal
That truth being, Utopia isn’t real

Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real Utopia isn’t real [Virus located]

[Virus deleted]
[Have a nice day :D]



* yes, we both went over the limit...

[Richard Corey]

^^^^ I edited my piece into the message that was already there...

votes go here...

[Awedishin]

oh man oh man....

holy shit....

ok so I read Talent's last night before RC ever posted, and the verse was awesome. Fantastic story with very good strong supporting characters and details/settings. I loved the fact that everything had a great progression about it, it seemed so butter smooth to the end...very well written, awesome read....I can't say much more.

Richard I didn't know if you were gonna show, but I kinda figured you would cuz you almost always do, just sometimes late lol. Anyways....the beginning set a nice tone to the story, very good description I could see the whole thing go down on the plane...then when Utopia came into play I bout damn near shit myself. I was reading that thinking damn this kid's brain is putting out hints of insanity even I can't touch lol. I loved the imagery, the very vivid details, the main character as well as the side characters, and the way it ended freaked me the fuck out.

It's a tough call y'all....It's never taken me this long to decide who the winner is...

*sigh*...I've reread both verses 3 times...

and so...




vote = Richard Corey

I think I enjoyed the story more, it had just a little more nonstop action and a crazy fucking ending that I can't get past...

excellent match though, this shit should be real close IMO
good luck guys!

[Vern Acular]

up over NS

[Writemind]

Holy jumping Jesus H. Christ almighty...this was a good one...

Talent:

awesome shit...Im not quite sure how you fit so much story into so few lines....but you did it well...Nothing to really detract from this...shit was great...story and everything...should be close.

R. Corey:

This is hands down one of the best text verses Ive ever read. Story was well laid out...there was a clear beginning, climax, and ending...its few and far between the people who truely understand story structure. The double meanings, intended or not, made the story just that much interesting. After all...a story's true value is in the eyes of the reader. Great job all around...

Vote = Richard Corey


If you find the time...please check out mine...Id like to hear some really good heads thoughts on my battle...thanks.

http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...74#post9475474

One of the best topical match ups ever....I think....

[FórmÅl LôGíc]

Talent - A nice verse once again. Writers voice was great as always. Flow was real nice, very smooth through out. Story was long, but not drawn out too much like you'd see with a long verse. Very strong content, and a really good concept for the topic you used. Wrote very vividly through out, thought the beginning was a little slow, the end was a master-piece. I loved the whole way you showed that to bask in glory, you have to be focused on that, and only that. Showed the consequence well of being like that. You developed a strong character, and the only thing I can see wrong is the slow beginning.

Richard Corey - Jesus! Impressive to say the least. Writers voice was excellent. Your flow and multi's were just "holy shit", very smooth, very crisp. Your mechanics were solid, on point, damn near flawless. Your take on the topic was very original, though not very focused on it, but no said you had to stick exactly to your topic. The story was just amazing, the content was amazing, the concept was amazing. Your wrote such a solid story, never streched out too much of each part, and you kept the story moving along with great progression. It was almost like I was reading a script, or screenplay.


Breakdown: Both of you came with amazing stories, and just excellent verses in every aspect. Both were damn near flawless, but I felt Richard came with a little more. A little more entertaining, and his story was a little more solid and smooth. Excellent from both though. And If RC gets #1 verse from Talent, then Talent defiantly deserves #2, and he should be cocky and put himself there.

Vote - Richard Corey

[-Atreyu-]

Talent...
Story was nice.Had the structure///flow was off a little...only thing was...just writing a story...isnt good enough sometimes...which brings me to Richard Corey-

Richard Corey...
Wowzers.Thats about i can say...you didnt JUST write a story...you incorporated a vast amount of elements to outshine Talent with ease...it was just...so relevant...youre an innovator...quite like myself...so take the compliment and treasure it-also remember who told you that when i beat you.

[Richard Corey]

uppin' over NS

[Menso]

Talent.. i enjoyed the verse. Normally it takes me a while to read through a longer verse, cuz i get bored. But i was entertained.

Corey.. Its been said.. but that was a great verse. I felt like a part of the story, watching it progress. I know this was the champ match, but i wasnt expecting a abttle of this calibre.

Vote - Richard Corey

[9VoLt]

Vote= Tha Talent

Talent
damn dawg that was so fire...all i wanted to know is how the guy died and the fact that he didn't end up dying but was pleased with himself made it all the better...sort of anti-climactic but in a really good way...i loved the flow and the way it was pieced together...how he put himself ahead of everyone else

RC
that is some thought arousing shit right there but i didn't feel you had as good of a scheme or flow as talent and i happened to relate to his story better...but the way you drug the character eon through all those scenes and shit was really good...i liked it alot but i just liked talent's more

[Noib Da Mutt]

Corey... masterful storytelling dawg... wrote and spit like a verse in my head... but, the shit could've easily read like an actual short story, your structure and wording were perfect... The story was sound and I read it fairly easily, I enjoyed it alot...

Talent... nice verse once more, but unfortunately you're too consistant which may be why I didn't feel this verse took your writing as far as ability to the next level... I notice your style continues to change from week to week, but I'm not seeing that evolution that blows people's brains that I think you're hoping to acheive...

vote=RC...

[Vern Acular]

winner RC

NEW CHAMP!!!!