7. Tha Talent 38-16 vs 8. Erykah Caine 13-5

LDogg The King · 03-15-2004, 02:21 AM

VERSES DUE Thursday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST/
VOTES DUE Sunday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST

COLLECT YOUR TOPIC OF CHOICE HERE:

http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...74#post8475374

LINE LIMIT:
4 lines - NO SHOWS
16 lines - MINIMAL
60 lines - MAXIMAL

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YOU MUST MUST MUST -- POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!!

FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 6 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!!

if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!!

Do Tha Dam Thang!!!

Tha Talent · 03-15-2004, 07:03 PM

i'm posting today...so if you could post by say tommorrow, that would be dope.

Tha Talent · 03-15-2004, 08:45 PM

this is one of the best verses i've ever written.

the grass was fresh, a short cut from the sheep that grazed
and sometimes a gentle rush of wind came to sweep each blade
you could hear the songs of birds gloating and waning
but slowly it faded, one day the blood poured over the painting
...
it was a warm day - the field was found open again
the grass was a little longer, the green was a little red
but you could still hear the songbirds whistling in the distance
i guess it's something one simply must witness
the crimson blood had matted down the grass in bunches
a few spare digits and limbs scattered, encrusted
by the futile red, in the near view lay the hilt of a shattered sword
the hoof prints had scattered thorns as the bushes were battered, torn
and i left - promising to come back when all was better
...
it was a warm day - yet again the field was still and calm
yet still i scoft, the view brought out a chilling loss
bodies in finely uniformed atire, some green, some red
some blue, and even a black hat, but all color schemes were dead
and with further inspection, small pellets the size of marbles
or smaller, little iron balls with traces of powder
and even some larger, the cannons had heaved them
the grass was covered with soot, the same soot that i breathed in
and yet still the song bird sang, sang a song of grieving
and i left - promising to come back when all was better
...
it was a warm day - and the field was once again deserted
but the grass was burned, and - the field was murdered
murdered - by the bomb craters and barb wire and trentches
the grass was smashed from land attacks that left it
worthless for the sheep to graze on
not to mention the countless sharpened pellets that laid on
and in the ground, and in the soldiers
who's bodies were too vast to count - it was over
or so i thought, and then i heard the song bird's ode for
everything that was gone everything that i longed for
and i left - promising to come back when all was better
...
it was a cold day - and i had returned to the field
there were no craters, no burning, no bodies unhealed
there were no bullets, no musket balls, no, nothing at all
all the grass had been destroyed, all the trees had vanished
it was simply an empty place, devoid from any sea of panic
and as the sun fell deep into the horizon, at night time
the field emenated a glow that might blind
some, but i was the only one in this lost world
and i never again heard the song bird

ErykahCaine · 03-15-2004, 11:44 PM

nice drop...ill drop tonight or tomorrow morning

TOPIC CHOICES:

1. Lonely Church

3. Poetic Injustice

5. Karma

one of those

1)RSTL Championship! Desenuts 22-10 vs 2. God Extensions 12-2
2)21. Madpoet 4-0 vs 22. Malosovich 4-1
3)15. Doc Evil 7-4 vs 16. 5 Starre 8-5
4)29. Khoi Ngujin 3-0 vs 30. Omnipotence 3-0
5)5. Anaphora 7-1 vs 6. Harlequin 6-0
6)17. Muti 14-10 vs 18. KB Beats 7-2

ErykahCaine · 03-16-2004, 10:51 PM

Lonely Church

Unlovely city, to which few tourists come
Of smoke and rain, an insubstantial threat
Whose color is the pigment of long wrath

I sit awake and contemplate, on this, the day he chose me as his mate
Another star-crossed fuck screaming to the messiah with blind hate
Irate, I walk the plank and plunge into an ocean of unsettled emotion
notions falter, images of a coaxing father, lotion and holy water, floating
what are you promoting!!
You cant make Religion grow When it has lost its Root and altered its stance
tightening the Soil around, deceives the Universe but wont retrieve the Plant
Praise is placed Adamant, what you’re doings unacceptable, ineligible, I cant read the rite
In the passage of limbs over mine during masses, singing hymns as I thrashed in fright
After that night I sat in my room, the carpet collecting
the red that tred from my rectum
and then I closed my eyes and prayed that when I opened them I would be gone
I had not prayed since I was a child and I felt foolish saying the name of God
the man that they praised as I was raped, I sat with a pad and began to jot

Dear God,
Do you remember? How dead the moon seemed, as my lude screams shattered the glass
As his languid hands slid like a barrage of lead as he deposited his desires in my ass
I’m positive you saw me wander their dreams or the screams that padded the sky
Or even the scene, as they clutched groin, and tossed salad or were u resting your eyes
Then you judge I and ask why I disrespect life connecting knife to wrist and cry
for help to exterminate all the times they violate flesh with curiosity and I
Hope you got off at the sight of me as the tip of the crucifix bruises rim
Bosom of the chapels exposed, and my thigh rises during hymns
What are my eyes? if they must feed me, rank with forgetting hope
in the jealous forest of lustrous blows, so luminously blank through smoke .
All faint, at rest, yet I am racing towards the fear that kills them off,
I jot…..but what I feel can’t be smocked by words..but I jot
deal death beneath these purple lamps and to me! I run! A little more
always move, prying my name in fields, hope u get chills when u read my metaphors

So I plunged deep within this frozen lake whose mirrored fastnesses fill up my heart,
where tears drift from frivolity to art
all white and slobbering, and by mistake
Words wont be passive I’ll make him catch your stench from the stake
The church flavoured my delicious misery why hath thou dealt me this fate

I continue to jot

You never had to paddle down this sea of torment grief and dormant dreams…
Morbid scenes..horrid screams of sordid things when he did these things …
You deserted me, useless spirit, theres no obstacles for the inaudible …
while skin decorated with his knuckle chronicles you sat back and watch this debacle…
u were the closest but never provided solace need you to show ya face to clouds..
When their one eyed monsters flock…I need you to endure the shrouds..
Heard the sounds of molestation, kisses moist and fragrant
I felt him from anal, naval to ribcage as he had me bent
Rubbed on my nips, u caressed dick, thought u were suppose foster ya kin
Juices dripped in open mouth, doused with his creamy freedom
He’s imbedded in blood cells and now I’ll free em

* as I bleed out barrels, should of sent me a straight sparrow..lol*

*if the lord is my saviour why am I still bleeding? And why won’t I be here tomorrow?*

Blood drifts low and covers the night
I dance just ahead to keep my heart in sight.
For years I seek with jealous eye the face that flees me ,
hidden city, white swan. There's no arm to free me,
Im here in the
Unlovely city, to which few tourists come
Of smoke and rain, an insubstantial threat
Whose color is the pigment of long wrath

CHURCH

Harlequin · 03-17-2004, 06:59 AM

dope

ill come back and vote in a bit

Xiahou Dun · 03-19-2004, 04:18 PM

Damn @ This Battle

Outstanding Verse from both.. I was loving that War story from the talent &Erykah came with some touching storytelling but she wander on & off at times I had to read some lines twice.

Vote= The Talent

Clearity is essential.. i found the talents story more readable then Erykahs.. Great Entertainment never the Less

5 Starre · 03-19-2004, 07:24 PM

Battle of the week right here.
this shit was strait. Talent you said this is one of your best and that was no joke it is. Nice overall shit all around. everything kicked ass. your shit was interesting and all and after i read it i was like this shit is a wrap you won,

BUT

then i got to Erykahs verse and it was also one of the best ive ever seen from her and this battle was fuckin close. id say you two are even on everything and this vote on this battle is a matter of opinion. This week i just felt that the touching emotion type in Erykahs verse barly took it. so my vote drops to her.

Vote - Erykah

return fava
15. Doc Evil 7-4 vs 16. 5 Starre 8-5

Muti · 03-19-2004, 09:19 PM

Talent...

I liked how you boasted your verse..I thought it was going to be a masterpiece.. BUT don't get me wrong.. You came off nice and the story you painted was very nice.. the vivid picture I could just see the field and the bodies..but the story did nothing for me...It made me feel pretty good until the end I was expecting more though..maybe cuz you said this is one of your best....not one of to me but still good...

Erykah

That was a sick story...the descriptions you had in your story was so good that when read I was almost barfing.. Like on some ewwwww shit....but that was a nice story...very descriptive and your imagery and detail great of course...flowed nicely...

At the end I think both stories itself was told very well but I think Talent didn't come up with one of the better vibes from me and Erykah did... Props to both and whoever wins this but this week

I vote Erykah

Anaphora · 03-19-2004, 10:59 PM

Talent: Damn man, very nice shit. Loved how you went through the different stages of warefare, and how you implied that it's human nature to kill one another, and probably will be til the end of time, because I think you're right. The flow was, well shit man, it's your flow. No one's gonna say it doesn't, and if they do, they don't know how to read english.

Erykah: First things first, so lets start with the first word... Unlovely. that's just an awkward word choice, and seeing as it didn't affect your rhyme scheme, I don't understand the choice... The voice in your piece was inconsistent... some places it sounded like you are that little kid getting raped, but most of the time it sounds like an older person writing about it... and if that was the intention, it should've been made clear right away... flow was really nice, a whole shitload've rhymes, but sometimes it drew the story aside a little bit...

Vote: Talent

ErykahCaine · 03-20-2004, 02:45 AM

2-2 upping ..nice verse Talent

03-20-2004, 07:09 AM

Battle and two top verses of the week undoubtedly.

EC - The detail was amazing. I like to see people who try to acheive this level of imagry and description. The emotion was brilliant too. Your word choice was awkward at places. You were killing it with the flowing imagry then you'd sort of taint it with a poor word. Sounds picky I know but to be honest im having trouble finding fault with it. Brilliant read kept me wide eye'd through out.

Talent - Ill topic and even better take on it. Liked the understanding of what killing is to man. Brilliant touch. Flow as always was on point through out. Nice imagry etc. Again hard to pick fault with it.

My vote lays with EC. This wasn't really a comparision of skill in the slightest. Both came ill on that respect. I just found EC's more engrossing. Some thing I haven't really seen as much as I have the battle feild Idea.

A.S.K · 03-20-2004, 08:06 AM

holy fuck this was an incredible battle

Caine: the atention to small detail here was really nice and he imagery youintroduced reallybrightened up th piece. Your flow was real nic but the wording at times seemed to be out of place in the surrounding.

talent: first of all i would like to ask if the second battle field was a napoleon battle field, cos im really into that period of time and i lovedreading just that small section. I know alot about that time period and you did well. I ucking love this idea, the way you came back throgh time to see each era of battles and the imagery you introduced ere was just amazing. please hit me up one time, id love to talk to ye about this verse and your ideas behind it

vote-talent

cainca came nice, but my vote goes to talent just cos i was totally ingrossd. many may disgree but this was the simplest but best ever executed vers i have had pleasure of reading

round of a aplluase for a great battle

p.s. talent, hit me up one time, i need to talk to you bout this rstl shit

Khôi NguJin · 03-21-2004, 12:08 AM

Talent, I cannot fathom what was put into this....i believe an allusion of sorts, refering to war. rapter above stated something about napoleon and i do believe you were directing one of these sections to him. the colors you mentioned with the schemes dead. i believe napoleon wore the color of red on his collar and blue on his coat. green was also somewhere there...it is a possibility...you could have been describing different war stories perhaps...

there was that repetition of you comming back when all was better...it makes me wonder that you could very well be the song bird, describing each view...and continually singing throughout all of the death and fighting....

very intricate verse, with full out imagery...the depictions of crimson red blood holding the green stained grasses down...and the sharpened pellets embedded into soldiers and in the ground....the flow is yours, what can i say, such a uniqe style to draw attention to the reader at certain spots...i noticed that the songbird no matter what hapens will always sing.....no matter the circumstance and no matter the time...some people think the songbird sings at dawn...but really it's singing long before the sun rises...i feel you inserted the song bird as symbolism of sorts....and it was well portrayed...i take your word for this being one of ur best....cause this is really compelling. Props.

Erykah.....wow....that was quite amusing...

first off i'd like to start with such a uniqe set up you have...the scheme is really dope...although it loooks like it will be shit, its flows pretty good for th emsot part...some parts could have been elaborated more so...but it was a good verse....

i felt what you meant simetimes, but others was like...hmm..i can't grasp it, somewhat like talents...like i feel u left things in here for the reader to do research on...

interesting to say the least....i loved how it all came down to 'Church'

ioono but ppl are stereotypicall about the churches and how things go down, with the recent string of horrid events, ect...but the church is the church, a place of catholic belief and moral rights....you must go to understand, if ya feel me...ioono why all this bad is portrayed ofthe churches....well....the verse was pretty sound to me...i enjoyed it...

with all of this said, my vote has to go to Talent, for the more thought out verse, I think....

loved it u 2...

Peace.

Cereal_Killer · 03-21-2004, 01:03 AM

nice battle

talent;
Nice story i liked the section seperation it helped build the mood, just as i was getting into it, it would stop calm down, then start back up again. i like the first line on each paragraph very clever. flow was good, i didnt mind this new style of writing you've done with this but i dont know if it was a strong to me though as your other, still nice. Showing that the aftermath of the war was more daunting then the actual battle itself was brilliant. Well done good read.

9/10

EC;
you are very poetical with your lines, you have a great knowledge of the right wording, but i always get detoured in stories like this when they're describing a rape like it was something from the comedy channel. ie when would you ever in your life hear a rape victim say (Rubbed on my nips or doused with his creamy freedom) when put like that though it rhymes beautifully it just sounds like you are joking about the topics. I mean creamy freedom sounds like an ice cream flavour. Otherwhise those few lines i really enjoyed your piece, flow spot on, multis all that well done.

7.8/10

vote=tha talent

Atheist · 03-21-2004, 09:32 AM

Hands down, Talent won this.

Quote:

the crimson blood had matted down the grass in bunches
a few spare digits and limbs scattered, encrusted
by the futile red, in the near view lay the hilt of a shattered sword
the hoof prints had scattered thorns as the bushes were battered, torn
and i left - promising to come back when all was better

bodies in finely uniformed atire, some green, some red
some blue, and even a black hat, but all color schemes were dead

Your verse was so poetical, and that really helped the extended metaphor, as well as the repition of "and i left - promising to come back when all was better". Absolutely fantastic verse.

Trap - I'm sorry that I keep voting against you, but damn, you got to start facing opponents who don't drop dimes everytime. Your verse was brilliant though:

Quote:

You never had to paddle down this sea of torment grief and dormant dreams??
Morbid scenes..horrid screams of sordid things when he did these things ??
You deserted me, useless spirit, theres no obstacles for the inaudible ??
while skin decorated with his knuckle chronicles you sat back and watch this debacle??
u were the closest but never provided solace need you to show ya face to clouds..
When their one eyed monsters flock??I need you to endure the shrouds..
Heard the sounds of molestation, kisses moist and fragrant
I felt him from anal, naval to ribcage as he had me bent
Rubbed on my nips, u caressed dick, thought u were suppose foster ya kin
Juices dripped in open mouth, doused with his creamy freedom
He??s imbedded in blood cells and now I??ll free em

Brilliant story.

I say this is the battle of the week, WITHOUT a doubt.

Stiffaz · 03-22-2004, 01:16 AM

cool battle...

Tha Talent:

u've said "this is one of the best verses i've ever written." i can really maintain that this verse was the coolest this week..firstly, i liked kinda poetic content and nice plot..secondly, i loved flow, cuz it was just flawless i think..what's more, imagery was interesting and dope..finally, i could say that this verse and of course this writer is one of the greatest in the rstl..

Erykah Caine:

well, nice done i must say..like others said your story was very descriptive and detailed..but i found approach to the topic a bit confusing for me..however, u put off with imagery which wasn't less worse than Talent's..and i liked emotions of this verse..pretty close and it's hard to decide but i have to give my vote to....

Tha Talent

LDogg The King · 03-22-2004, 06:23 AM

Over No Shows

Richard Corey · 03-22-2004, 06:15 PM

ehhhhhhhh

EHHHHHHH!!!!

Damn the both of you to the hell of 90 line topical verses where souls are forced to read and vote all day!!!!! Damn, this was hot! But, it's also tricky, because this is an example of one of those battles where it just comes down to preference. I mean, they're both good at what they do. Talent is the more literal, poetic writer... Erykah is the metaphor and imagery laden, abstract writer.

They are both good at what they do!

But when it comes to personal preference, people tend to think losing means you suck or didn't come as good as you could have. Noooo...Whoever "loses" this match should keep writing as they do, it was just a battle of personal preference and in no way reflects on your ability to write..

now on to the votes..

Talent: I loved this piece. It was a grissly and touching look into the effects of war throughout time. But the effects were relegated, almost entirely, to nature. The affects on man were overlooked, or undercut by the surface effects on nature, (oddly as such effects tend to incite more emotion and drama in the reader). Nonetheless, the piece was nice. Very poetic with colorful and, often times, dark imagery, the story took us from revelutionary, to civil war to the inevitable nuclear war, which I'm sure we all fear. By making nature the only constant in our turbulant world, you gave the piece a sense of hope. (The color green is usually used for that purpose.) In fact, I wager to say, that was what the green grass and birds represented: not only hope, but the purity of man, fighting for its right to exist in a reality of war and tormoil. And in the end, once everything's gone, the message is clear... all hope, in the hands of man, is fleeting.

Erykah: This was a masterful use of metaphor and imagery. I was aghast, literally. From the first image to the last I was sucked in. And I read a response above noting how the voice seems too mature at times, but I think that's a good thing and speaks on the aging affect such tragedies have on the minds of young children. Surely a child, raised in the church, who is forced to witness the dichotomy of religious ideology and the often contradicotry human nature, would develop a sense of understanding beyond his or her years. I was also taken aback by the language choice... I mean, this kid is very blunt in describing what's happened to him. I also like the attitude the kid has towards God: I know you're there...but that don't mean I like you. There are even shades of accusation, painting God as a pedophilliac voyer... pretty provocative stuff, young lady.

AHGHGHGHGH!!!

I'm going to have to go with my heart here... and damnit! I understand that Erykah is so abstract that she can lose her audience...but I can appreciate the literary complexity she puts down in each verse. It's not the complexity for complexity's sake that you see from other people. Every metaphor is complete or has a purpose; an underlying affect on the piece. But in the same sense... Talent is such a concise and clear writer. That takes talent. That's not easy! This kid makes it LOOK easy but its not....HELL!! Plus, I don't want to vote against Talent two weeks in a row cause I'm sure he's ready to shoot my ass by now... but AHGHGHGHGH.... ERYKAH, SHIT! I VOTE FOR ERYKAH!! ERYKAH!! AHHH! KISS MY ASS! I'M OUT!!

03-15-2004, 02:21 AM	#1 (permalink)
LDogg The King S E A T T L E Join Date: Jan 2000 Location: Seattle Posts: 16,636	7. Tha Talent 38-16 vs 8. Erykah Caine 13-5 VERSES DUE Thursday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST/ VOTES DUE Sunday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST COLLECT YOUR TOPIC OF CHOICE HERE: http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread...74#post8475374 LINE LIMIT: 4 lines - NO SHOWS 16 lines - MINIMAL 60 lines - MAXIMAL VOTING: No payback votes No 2nd Chance Votes YOU MUST MUST MUST -- POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD.. VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!! FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 6 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!! if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!! Do Tha Dam Thang!!! __________________ ELITE motherfuckers www.soundclick.com/downedshadow www.myspace.com/downedshadow I wish the game was reversed and my verse was the beat so you'd listen to me first, and then dance later... I aint dumbing down shit, you don't get it, get a fuckin translator - Bishop Lamont

03-15-2004, 07:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
Tha Talent , Tha Master. Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: in the hall of fame. Posts: 3,588	i'm posting today...so if you could post by say tommorrow, that would be dope. __________________ elitely smo

03-15-2004, 08:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
Tha Talent , Tha Master. Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: in the hall of fame. Posts: 3,588	this is one of the best verses i've ever written. the grass was fresh, a short cut from the sheep that grazed and sometimes a gentle rush of wind came to sweep each blade you could hear the songs of birds gloating and waning but slowly it faded, one day the blood poured over the painting ... it was a warm day - the field was found open again the grass was a little longer, the green was a little red but you could still hear the songbirds whistling in the distance i guess it's something one simply must witness the crimson blood had matted down the grass in bunches a few spare digits and limbs scattered, encrusted by the futile red, in the near view lay the hilt of a shattered sword the hoof prints had scattered thorns as the bushes were battered, torn and i left - promising to come back when all was better ... it was a warm day - yet again the field was still and calm yet still i scoft, the view brought out a chilling loss bodies in finely uniformed atire, some green, some red some blue, and even a black hat, but all color schemes were dead and with further inspection, small pellets the size of marbles or smaller, little iron balls with traces of powder and even some larger, the cannons had heaved them the grass was covered with soot, the same soot that i breathed in and yet still the song bird sang, sang a song of grieving and i left - promising to come back when all was better ... it was a warm day - and the field was once again deserted but the grass was burned, and - the field was murdered murdered - by the bomb craters and barb wire and trentches the grass was smashed from land attacks that left it worthless for the sheep to graze on not to mention the countless sharpened pellets that laid on and in the ground, and in the soldiers who's bodies were too vast to count - it was over or so i thought, and then i heard the song bird's ode for everything that was gone everything that i longed for and i left - promising to come back when all was better ... it was a cold day - and i had returned to the field there were no craters, no burning, no bodies unhealed there were no bullets, no musket balls, no, nothing at all all the grass had been destroyed, all the trees had vanished it was simply an empty place, devoid from any sea of panic and as the sun fell deep into the horizon, at night time the field emenated a glow that might blind some, but i was the only one in this lost world and i never again heard the song bird __________________ elitely smo Last edited by Tha Talent; 03-15-2004 at 08:48 PM.

03-15-2004, 11:44 PM	#4 (permalink)
ErykahCaine Black Hand Bittcchhhess!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Cali Posts: 1,042	nice drop...ill drop tonight or tomorrow morning TOPIC CHOICES: 1. Lonely Church 3. Poetic Injustice 5. Karma one of those 1)RSTL Championship! Desenuts 22-10 vs 2. God Extensions 12-2 2)21. Madpoet 4-0 vs 22. Malosovich 4-1 3)15. Doc Evil 7-4 vs 16. 5 Starre 8-5 4)29. Khoi Ngujin 3-0 vs 30. Omnipotence 3-0 5)5. Anaphora 7-1 vs 6. Harlequin 6-0 6)17. Muti 14-10 vs 18. KB Beats 7-2 Last edited by ErykahCaine; 03-20-2004 at 02:57 AM.

03-16-2004, 10:51 PM	#5 (permalink)
ErykahCaine Black Hand Bittcchhhess!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Cali Posts: 1,042	"Confessions of an Alter Boy" Lonely Church Unlovely city, to which few tourists come Of smoke and rain, an insubstantial threat Whose color is the pigment of long wrath I sit awake and contemplate, on this, the day he chose me as his mate Another star-crossed fuck screaming to the messiah with blind hate Irate, I walk the plank and plunge into an ocean of unsettled emotion notions falter, images of a coaxing father, lotion and holy water, floating what are you promoting!! You cant make Religion grow When it has lost its Root and altered its stance tightening the Soil around, deceives the Universe but wont retrieve the Plant Praise is placed Adamant, what you’re doings unacceptable, ineligible, I cant read the rite In the passage of limbs over mine during masses, singing hymns as I thrashed in fright After that night I sat in my room, the carpet collecting the red that tred from my rectum and then I closed my eyes and prayed that when I opened them I would be gone I had not prayed since I was a child and I felt foolish saying the name of God the man that they praised as I was raped, I sat with a pad and began to jot Dear God, Do you remember? How dead the moon seemed, as my lude screams shattered the glass As his languid hands slid like a barrage of lead as he deposited his desires in my ass I’m positive you saw me wander their dreams or the screams that padded the sky Or even the scene, as they clutched groin, and tossed salad or were u resting your eyes Then you judge I and ask why I disrespect life connecting knife to wrist and cry for help to exterminate all the times they violate flesh with curiosity and I Hope you got off at the sight of me as the tip of the crucifix bruises rim Bosom of the chapels exposed, and my thigh rises during hymns What are my eyes? if they must feed me, rank with forgetting hope in the jealous forest of lustrous blows, so luminously blank through smoke . All faint, at rest, yet I am racing towards the fear that kills them off, I jot…..but what I feel can’t be smocked by words..but I jot deal death beneath these purple lamps and to me! I run! A little more always move, prying my name in fields, hope u get chills when u read my metaphors So I plunged deep within this frozen lake whose mirrored fastnesses fill up my heart, where tears drift from frivolity to art all white and slobbering, and by mistake Words wont be passive I’ll make him catch your stench from the stake The church flavoured my delicious misery why hath thou dealt me this fate I continue to jot You never had to paddle down this sea of torment grief and dormant dreams… Morbid scenes..horrid screams of sordid things when he did these things … You deserted me, useless spirit, theres no obstacles for the inaudible … while skin decorated with his knuckle chronicles you sat back and watch this debacle… u were the closest but never provided solace need you to show ya face to clouds.. When their one eyed monsters flock…I need you to endure the shrouds.. Heard the sounds of molestation, kisses moist and fragrant I felt him from anal, naval to ribcage as he had me bent Rubbed on my nips, u caressed dick, thought u were suppose foster ya kin Juices dripped in open mouth, doused with his creamy freedom He’s imbedded in blood cells and now I’ll free em * as I bleed out barrels, should of sent me a straight sparrow..lol* if the lord is my saviour why am I still bleeding? And why won’t I be here tomorrow? Blood drifts low and covers the night I dance just ahead to keep my heart in sight. For years I seek with jealous eye the face that flees me , hidden city, white swan. There's no arm to free me, Im here in the Unlovely city, to which few tourists come Of smoke and rain, an insubstantial threat Whose color is the pigment of long wrath CHURCH

03-17-2004, 06:59 AM	#6 (permalink)
Harlequin If Ever Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 173	dope ill come back and vote in a bit __________________ Twice a contender Ever a Champion?

03-19-2004, 07:24 PM	#8 (permalink)
5 Starre Big Jaw Entertainemnt Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Worcester Posts: 3,097	Battle of the week right here. this shit was strait. Talent you said this is one of your best and that was no joke it is. Nice overall shit all around. everything kicked ass. your shit was interesting and all and after i read it i was like this shit is a wrap you won, BUT then i got to Erykahs verse and it was also one of the best ive ever seen from her and this battle was fuckin close. id say you two are even on everything and this vote on this battle is a matter of opinion. This week i just felt that the touching emotion type in Erykahs verse barly took it. so my vote drops to her. Vote - Erykah return fava 15. Doc Evil 7-4 vs 16. 5 Starre 8-5

03-19-2004, 09:19 PM	#9 (permalink)
Muti Kitty smasher Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: VA-DC-Md-NC Posts: 621	Talent... I liked how you boasted your verse..I thought it was going to be a masterpiece.. BUT don't get me wrong.. You came off nice and the story you painted was very nice.. the vivid picture I could just see the field and the bodies..but the story did nothing for me...It made me feel pretty good until the end I was expecting more though..maybe cuz you said this is one of your best....not one of to me but still good... Erykah That was a sick story...the descriptions you had in your story was so good that when read I was almost barfing.. Like on some ewwwww shit....but that was a nice story...very descriptive and your imagery and detail great of course...flowed nicely... At the end I think both stories itself was told very well but I think Talent didn't come up with one of the better vibes from me and Erykah did... Props to both and whoever wins this but this week I vote Erykah __________________ Can u tell a story?

03-19-2004, 10:59 PM	#10 (permalink)
Anaphora was here Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,694	Talent: Damn man, very nice shit. Loved how you went through the different stages of warefare, and how you implied that it's human nature to kill one another, and probably will be til the end of time, because I think you're right. The flow was, well shit man, it's your flow. No one's gonna say it doesn't, and if they do, they don't know how to read english. Erykah: First things first, so lets start with the first word... Unlovely. that's just an awkward word choice, and seeing as it didn't affect your rhyme scheme, I don't understand the choice... The voice in your piece was inconsistent... some places it sounded like you are that little kid getting raped, but most of the time it sounds like an older person writing about it... and if that was the intention, it should've been made clear right away... flow was really nice, a whole shitload've rhymes, but sometimes it drew the story aside a little bit... Vote: Talent

03-20-2004, 02:45 AM	#11 (permalink)
ErykahCaine Black Hand Bittcchhhess!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Cali Posts: 1,042	2-2 upping ..nice verse Talent

03-20-2004, 07:09 AM	#12 (permalink)
Malosovich Guest Posts: n/a	Battle and two top verses of the week undoubtedly. EC - The detail was amazing. I like to see people who try to acheive this level of imagry and description. The emotion was brilliant too. Your word choice was awkward at places. You were killing it with the flowing imagry then you'd sort of taint it with a poor word. Sounds picky I know but to be honest im having trouble finding fault with it. Brilliant read kept me wide eye'd through out. Talent - Ill topic and even better take on it. Liked the understanding of what killing is to man. Brilliant touch. Flow as always was on point through out. Nice imagry etc. Again hard to pick fault with it. My vote lays with EC. This wasn't really a comparision of skill in the slightest. Both came ill on that respect. I just found EC's more engrossing. Some thing I haven't really seen as much as I have the battle feild Idea.

03-20-2004, 08:06 AM	#13 (permalink)
A.S.K ... Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Some University, UK Posts: 4,998	holy fuck this was an incredible battle Caine: the atention to small detail here was really nice and he imagery youintroduced reallybrightened up th piece. Your flow was real nic but the wording at times seemed to be out of place in the surrounding. talent: first of all i would like to ask if the second battle field was a napoleon battle field, cos im really into that period of time and i lovedreading just that small section. I know alot about that time period and you did well. I ucking love this idea, the way you came back throgh time to see each era of battles and the imagery you introduced ere was just amazing. please hit me up one time, id love to talk to ye about this verse and your ideas behind it vote-talent cainca came nice, but my vote goes to talent just cos i was totally ingrossd. many may disgree but this was the simplest but best ever executed vers i have had pleasure of reading round of a aplluase for a great battle p.s. talent, hit me up one time, i need to talk to you bout this rstl shit __________________ For years in Europe, Christianity was law so how many deaths were caused in the name of Our Lord Sense would tell me it aint the words on the pages but the interpretation of it that fuelled the crusaders

03-21-2004, 12:08 AM	#14 (permalink)
Khôi NguJin faith.hope.love Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 639	Talent, I cannot fathom what was put into this....i believe an allusion of sorts, refering to war. rapter above stated something about napoleon and i do believe you were directing one of these sections to him. the colors you mentioned with the schemes dead. i believe napoleon wore the color of red on his collar and blue on his coat. green was also somewhere there...it is a possibility...you could have been describing different war stories perhaps... there was that repetition of you comming back when all was better...it makes me wonder that you could very well be the song bird, describing each view...and continually singing throughout all of the death and fighting.... very intricate verse, with full out imagery...the depictions of crimson red blood holding the green stained grasses down...and the sharpened pellets embedded into soldiers and in the ground....the flow is yours, what can i say, such a uniqe style to draw attention to the reader at certain spots...i noticed that the songbird no matter what hapens will always sing.....no matter the circumstance and no matter the time...some people think the songbird sings at dawn...but really it's singing long before the sun rises...i feel you inserted the song bird as symbolism of sorts....and it was well portrayed...i take your word for this being one of ur best....cause this is really compelling. Props. Erykah.....wow....that was quite amusing... first off i'd like to start with such a uniqe set up you have...the scheme is really dope...although it loooks like it will be shit, its flows pretty good for th emsot part...some parts could have been elaborated more so...but it was a good verse.... i felt what you meant simetimes, but others was like...hmm..i can't grasp it, somewhat like talents...like i feel u left things in here for the reader to do research on... interesting to say the least....i loved how it all came down to 'Church' ioono but ppl are stereotypicall about the churches and how things go down, with the recent string of horrid events, ect...but the church is the church, a place of catholic belief and moral rights....you must go to understand, if ya feel me...ioono why all this bad is portrayed ofthe churches....well....the verse was pretty sound to me...i enjoyed it... with all of this said, my vote has to go to Talent, for the more thought out verse, I think.... loved it u 2... Peace. __________________ "True poets don't write with a pen, they write with the ink that flows from within their hearts" - anon

03-21-2004, 01:03 AM	#15 (permalink)
Cereal_Killer California Cornflakes Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In a tub of gutter glitter Posts: 3,178	nice battle talent; Nice story i liked the section seperation it helped build the mood, just as i was getting into it, it would stop calm down, then start back up again. i like the first line on each paragraph very clever. flow was good, i didnt mind this new style of writing you've done with this but i dont know if it was a strong to me though as your other, still nice. Showing that the aftermath of the war was more daunting then the actual battle itself was brilliant. Well done good read. 9/10 EC; you are very poetical with your lines, you have a great knowledge of the right wording, but i always get detoured in stories like this when they're describing a rape like it was something from the comedy channel. ie when would you ever in your life hear a rape victim say (Rubbed on my nips or doused with his creamy freedom) when put like that though it rhymes beautifully it just sounds like you are joking about the topics. I mean creamy freedom sounds like an ice cream flavour. Otherwhise those few lines i really enjoyed your piece, flow spot on, multis all that well done. 7.8/10 vote=tha talent __________________ :·.·: cocaine, genius, insomnia :·.·: .·.cereal killer . got life . inf truth.·. .. You're not likely to see a green CK Unless you've got a ticket with MDA ..

03-22-2004, 01:16 AM	#17 (permalink)
Stiffaz I'm White Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Northern Europe Cave Called Lithuania Posts: 750	cool battle... Tha Talent: u've said "this is one of the best verses i've ever written." i can really maintain that this verse was the coolest this week..firstly, i liked kinda poetic content and nice plot..secondly, i loved flow, cuz it was just flawless i think..what's more, imagery was interesting and dope..finally, i could say that this verse and of course this writer is one of the greatest in the rstl.. Erykah Caine: well, nice done i must say..like others said your story was very descriptive and detailed..but i found approach to the topic a bit confusing for me..however, u put off with imagery which wasn't less worse than Talent's..and i liked emotions of this verse..pretty close and it's hard to decide but i have to give my vote to.... Tha Talent __________________ R hyme A nd P hilosophy

03-22-2004, 06:23 AM	#18 (permalink)
LDogg The King S E A T T L E Join Date: Jan 2000 Location: Seattle Posts: 16,636	Over No Shows __________________ ELITE motherfuckers www.soundclick.com/downedshadow www.myspace.com/downedshadow I wish the game was reversed and my verse was the beat so you'd listen to me first, and then dance later... I aint dumbing down shit, you don't get it, get a fuckin translator - Bishop Lamont

03-22-2004, 06:15 PM	#19 (permalink)
Richard Corey King Richard Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Laurel, MD Posts: 1,519	ehhhhhhhh EHHHHHHH!!!! Damn the both of you to the hell of 90 line topical verses where souls are forced to read and vote all day!!!!! Damn, this was hot! But, it's also tricky, because this is an example of one of those battles where it just comes down to preference. I mean, they're both good at what they do. Talent is the more literal, poetic writer... Erykah is the metaphor and imagery laden, abstract writer. They are both good at what they do! But when it comes to personal preference, people tend to think losing means you suck or didn't come as good as you could have. Noooo...Whoever "loses" this match should keep writing as they do, it was just a battle of personal preference and in no way reflects on your ability to write.. now on to the votes.. Talent: I loved this piece. It was a grissly and touching look into the effects of war throughout time. But the effects were relegated, almost entirely, to nature. The affects on man were overlooked, or undercut by the surface effects on nature, (oddly as such effects tend to incite more emotion and drama in the reader). Nonetheless, the piece was nice. Very poetic with colorful and, often times, dark imagery, the story took us from revelutionary, to civil war to the inevitable nuclear war, which I'm sure we all fear. By making nature the only constant in our turbulant world, you gave the piece a sense of hope. (The color green is usually used for that purpose.) In fact, I wager to say, that was what the green grass and birds represented: not only hope, but the purity of man, fighting for its right to exist in a reality of war and tormoil. And in the end, once everything's gone, the message is clear... all hope, in the hands of man, is fleeting. Erykah: This was a masterful use of metaphor and imagery. I was aghast, literally. From the first image to the last I was sucked in. And I read a response above noting how the voice seems too mature at times, but I think that's a good thing and speaks on the aging affect such tragedies have on the minds of young children. Surely a child, raised in the church, who is forced to witness the dichotomy of religious ideology and the often contradicotry human nature, would develop a sense of understanding beyond his or her years. I was also taken aback by the language choice... I mean, this kid is very blunt in describing what's happened to him. I also like the attitude the kid has towards God: I know you're there...but that don't mean I like you. There are even shades of accusation, painting God as a pedophilliac voyer... pretty provocative stuff, young lady. AHGHGHGHGH!!! I'm going to have to go with my heart here... and damnit! I understand that Erykah is so abstract that she can lose her audience...but I can appreciate the literary complexity she puts down in each verse. It's not the complexity for complexity's sake that you see from other people. Every metaphor is complete or has a purpose; an underlying affect on the piece. But in the same sense... Talent is such a concise and clear writer. That takes talent. That's not easy! This kid makes it LOOK easy but its not....HELL!! Plus, I don't want to vote against Talent two weeks in a row cause I'm sure he's ready to shoot my ass by now... but AHGHGHGHGH.... ERYKAH, SHIT! I VOTE FOR ERYKAH!! ERYKAH!! AHHH! KISS MY ASS! I'M OUT!! Last edited by Richard Corey; 03-23-2004 at 05:43 PM.