5. InsaneVillian 31-5 vs. 6. Jowelz 52-14

This is a discussion on 5. InsaneVillian 31-5 vs. 6. Jowelz 52-14 within the Rapmusic Audio League forums, part of the RhymeArena - Audio Forums category; VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST VOTES DUE Saturday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST VOTING RULES No beef votes No payback votes ...


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Old 12-07-2003, 02:30 AM   #1 (permalink)
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5. InsaneVillian 31-5 vs. 6. Jowelz 52-14

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Old 12-07-2003, 04:53 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 12-09-2003, 02:24 PM   #3 (permalink)
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You visit your man in prision who got locked on a false charge and blah blah blah, y'all know the topic... So fuck it, bust it.

I look into my man's eyes, his cheeks are stained with tears
As he cries about the frame-up that done got him 20 years
He straight sounds like a bitch, the kid was scared and I can't blame him
But I know that if he plays the ho, these cats'll punk and rape him
Mistakes were made and he got played, I'm used to this, he isn't
Cuz I'm a gangster, he ain't, and he's scared to death of prison
The visiting room was quiet, the guards were bored, their eyes were vacant
I asked him bout the cell block and the cell mate that he stayed with...

They put me with some white dude, that fucked up sex offender
Who kidnapped him a 12 year old and went off on a bender
They caught him snorting cane in his car by Potters track
And the girl was tied up naked, penetrated from the back
The dude's a fucked up asshole, always flapping his yap and braggin
Talking bout the shit he's done... You really can't imagine
Dawg, I tried to do right outside, why'd life throw this shitty twist?
When I get back to the cellblock, man, I'm gonna slit my wrists!


I gotta calm this kid down, so I grab him by the arm
He jumps up and the guards move, but he sits down and they move on

Dawg, you gotta calm down! Play the game, don't let it play you!
I got three new lawyers on your case, give it time, they'll save you
So for now, just keep ya head up... I got plans, I got you covered
I got a crew in Unit B, go ask for Q, say you're my brother
I put the word out, you're a Ness for now... That mean that you're connected
But it means you've got a rep now, and you'd damn sure best protect it!


His eyes filled up with tears, goddamn! This kid has got me bugging
I'd known him since forever and it hurt to see him struggling
The murder rap he'd taken was on some burglar cat named Jason
Who'd been givin my man problems, so he'd made some threatenin statements
And when his bullet ridden body'd been I.D'd outside of Brooklyn
They'd hustled my man downtown where they beat him down and booked him
They kept him there for two days, left him hungry, cold and stressing
And questioned him for hours... Till he signed a false confession
All in all, he's got a case, but it'll take some time to free him
But while the system's creeping, it's my job to keep him breathing

I lean in close and motion for my man to do the same
If the guards hear what I'm bout to say, I'll get charged and arraigned
Dawg, you need to listen... Now I know that you won't like this
But the world you stuck in's different, it's a world of drugs and violence
Now my rep'll keep your neck safe, until you strike out on your own
But you gotta prove yourself in here, if you don't, you're all alone


So man, you can forget it, shit is hopeless, dude, you tried
My only options now are prison bitch or suicide


I'm embarrassed at his weakness, but I'll keep my man alive
Yo, the streets the street, this kid is sweet, somebody's gotta die!
Dawg, I'm just trying to help you, I'll call Q, an make arrangements
You know you ain't gonna kill yourself, you're man enough to take this
So now I'm gonna tell you how to preserve that virgin anus
Q'll smuggle you a shank, and you gonna murder you that rapist!


His head bowed in resignation, he nodded yes and stood to leave
I hugged him and leaned to his ear... Make sure that fucker bleeds!
Hit em' up real good dawg, word'll get out, you'll be just fine
Ain't no drama, shit, they'll love ya, cuz that dude deserves to die
Jus' keep it on the low now, don't say shit once he's murked
Then my dawgs'll have your back, once they see you put in work


The rest was up to him, I'd wait to hear the word from Q
I felt bad, but I ain't locked up! That's the best that I could do!
I went back home, clocked on the block, back to life as usual
Till three weeks later I attended my homeboy's funeral
It ain't gone down as expected, my man had wrote a note
And when Q gave him the blade, he said goodbye and slit his throat...

Damn...
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Last edited by JOWELZ; 12-09-2003 at 06:41 PM.
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Old 12-09-2003, 07:43 PM   #4 (permalink)
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BOOM!!!

Armageddon Revisited

Part I

Stone Cold


Time is passing as slime is grasping my cold exteririor...
Life was merrier before i was pissed on by terriers...
The world is scarier now, but people are oblivious...
To the shittiest scandal that leave many of us penniless...
Many kids look up to me, however my heart is wrapped in stone...
Strapped alone in this fortress, i cant make whats gonna happen known...
These laughing clones look upon my throne set before this palace...
My sadness scratches at their madness to protect them from malice...
But satans callous paws have a grip on our society...
Masked by propriety to hide the evils that might be...
Its my priority to tell each cell of mankind my tale...
Maybe these words can bail u out before your left dwelling in hell...

Part II

The Rock


The foundation of our frustration began wrecking a nation...
But this causcasian was told by god to have a little patience...
Satans temptation wanted me to leave before it started...
But i couldnt leave my people stranded on the shore, departed...
God pardoned my initial fear and told me ill be beat or slain...
Satans army will be upon me with his dark beasts in chains...
"Please remain seated, with me by your side you'll overcome...
In battle mode hes dumb, while my battle pattern is wove with love"...
I put back some golden rum to drown out the constant drumming...
In my ears to hide my tears then he said," Tell them im coming"...

Part III

The Big Show


Stressin at his message, i couldnt understand his meaning...
Hand these gleaming beasts his note? I couldnt stand this meeting...
Damn! this beating is taking a toll leaving me raking my bowl...
The foresaken im told, are leadin' the charge and breakin our hold...
Im shaken as cold of anticipation stream down my face...
With a frown in place of my reluctance, i found disgrace...
My troops continued to pound, in case it worked effectively...
It didnt, and my own stubborness was close to wreckin' me...
Collectively i put myself together, threw away my pride...
I felt like a slave inside, but it was the way to stay alive...
My men were shocked when i said," we may survive this if u listen...
Its not my intention, ill warn u this is gods intervention...
To mention to the savages that god is coming for them...
And hopefully, maybe their asses will start running from him"...
They thought it was funny, with flim dangling from their nose n mouths...
It began imposing doubt on my faith, but i still rose and shout...
"Take notice out there!, God is comin in all his righteousness...
For u all, so please dont let satan use u to fight this mess...
The lord of the light insist he will be here to back ya"...
They said, "we'll crack ya if ya wrong" and turned on our attackers...
Were no slackers, we followed behind them to win the war...
But after it was over, Satan came after me to even the score...

Part IV

Undertaker


I passed away, lucifer still held his grip in defeat...
The dark beasts who are stronger than us became our athletes...
My face slanged in defeat, on satans tool which is sick n immoral...
And my soul is watching u now, at the Lincoln Memorial...

Satan Has Put Many Good Men Who Helped Our Nation On His Greatest Tool...

The Shittiest Scandal, To Make Us Think That It is Good...

Please dont Fall For the Trap...

Money Is The Root Of All Evil...

And God Will Be Back After this Seven Heaven Years Of Tribulation...

To Take Back His Own...

Be Prepared...
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Last edited by Insanevillian; 12-09-2003 at 08:31 PM.
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Old 12-09-2003, 08:31 PM   #5 (permalink)
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edited for a spelling error before people voted...
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Old 12-09-2003, 08:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
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i would vote .. but i dont think i could do justice to either of you ... u two are my two biggest rm influences when writing ... jowelz told a sick story ... personally i aint never been to prison nor to plan on going ... but it was vivid ... i think it woulda been sick if the dude woulda killed somebody to cover up the narrators tracks ... and in the end proved he wasnt really a friend ... but the story u told seemed more realistic ... iv ... i just liked the story all around ... can wait to see how this battle goes ... but i refuse to vote
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Old 12-10-2003, 01:59 AM   #7 (permalink)
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read both earlier.. re-read again...
nice battle, i feel both verses were nice, but one was clearly the winner in my opinion...

Jowelz came with heat, just had me reading, very, very interested, very well written, loved the ending...

i.v.'s story didnt really appeal to me, it was nicely written, but the story itself got totally eclipsed by Jowelz.... think u shoulda went for a different topic on this one..

vote- Jowelz... ya'll gonna make one hell of a tag team...
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Old 12-10-2003, 03:51 AM   #8 (permalink)
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ok....nice verses from both...extremely close...jowelz....extremely long..ive never never been a fan of length so it didn't seem good...but i read it and found it was good...most bars were fairly interesting and you used a good variety of vocab...it flowed ok but when its that long you have to make it extremly interesting...was a god read though..IV...i liked yours...was long too but very interesting...the approach to the topic was dope..very good idea...you had a nice rhyme scheme and your use of vocab was good to...flowed well and the closer was nice aswell...good verse..ehm..

vote=IV

i enjoyed reading his more and i felt his piece was alittle more thoughtout...but anywayz dope stuff...props to both...pz
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Old 12-10-2003, 01:03 PM   #9 (permalink)
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okay here goes, my breakdown and vote........

iv: nice verse man, and i read it all through twice just to clear things up. i think the flow was slightly off, maybe just me but some of the lines in the first verse were off and i was expecting a little more length or another word, just threw me slightly. good vocab, but in verse 3 it wandered slightly with like 'listen, intervention' and 'overcome, love'. overall good verse,

jowels: another good verse. i think it read alot nicer, and the imagery and ideas it gave me made me like it and keep showing interest through the huge lenght of it. i liked the dialogue, apart from the repetiveness of 'dawg', just got at me slighlty. the flow was much more on point and it just connected nicely. good ending, made me think 'damn'

vote=jowelz....and i hope this is detailed enough

please return the favour on mine verse against wise
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Old 12-10-2003, 06:19 PM   #10 (permalink)
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2-1 Jowelz

Up...
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Old 12-10-2003, 07:31 PM   #11 (permalink)
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IV:
yes, you definitely wrote a better verse this week than last week...you kept the flow fire throughout, and had good emotion at times too...strong verse...and then i got to the twist, and i just had to read it again...great foreshadowing, but yet i really didn't have a clue who it was until the end anyway...you really had a great story, and kept it interesting throughout...nice verse, though you forced multis more than i would have liked.

Jowelz:
you always have the most natural word choice...everything flows so smooth with you, even though you rarely ever try to kick it up a notch in terms of rhyme scheme complexity...this story was, as are most of your stories, as believable as they come, and showed a combination of frustration, true friendship and loyalty, and a tragic twist...nice verse, though i found action to be lacking and the twist a little predictable.

vote=IV
just a more captivating verse in terms of the plot and the way he set it up...it made me want to go back and read it again
Jowelz, while his writing style was superior, told a somewhat bland story.
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Old 12-10-2003, 08:38 PM   #12 (permalink)
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man man close close... why...cause jowelz verse was jus written way better... but IV put way more into his verse...
so up until kickin reply I was doubtin but I gotta go with jowelz.. cause when convertin this into song...I know I'd be diggin the way jowelz laid it down much better..and IV had a few parts..he coulda jus left out..where jowelz kept it intrestin every fuckin line..

sorry IV..shit was dope..but vote = jowelz

by the way IV get at me about the mag
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Last edited by Strike; 12-10-2003 at 08:39 PM.
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Old 12-10-2003, 11:34 PM   #13 (permalink)
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3-2... Him

This is a close one...
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Old 12-11-2003, 12:26 AM   #14 (permalink)
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hmmmm...this is a toughone for me to vote on..

jowelz-this is the best verse i've read from you ssince i started reading your stuffo far...i liked this one...the way it was wrote...just made it seem real...and emotion like came out of it...a real intresting read that just captivates you into the story like as your reading..well done...very

iv-this was my kind of writing...the way you portrayed the topic and wrote about was just a style that i njoyed reading a lot...the ending was great...the story and every inbetween was solid...and it just edged out jowelz for me as much as i liked his verse...your vrese just was more of the type of stuff i like to read...so in the end it comes to my personal opinion..settin beside structure...and al that etc..cuz you both did a great job of that..

but iv just was more of my type of read, in the very close, and great match
so
vote-IV

check out mines if you guys get a chance

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Old 12-11-2003, 12:41 AM   #15 (permalink)
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JOWELZ will do you doggie style!JOWELZ will do you doggie style!JOWELZ will do you doggie style!JOWELZ will do you doggie style!JOWELZ will do you doggie style!JOWELZ will do you doggie style!JOWELZ will do you doggie style!JOWELZ will do you doggie style!JOWELZ will do you doggie style!JOWELZ will do you doggie style!JOWELZ will do you doggie style!
could've never predicted this happening...
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Old 12-11-2003, 12:58 AM   #16 (permalink)
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indeed this is tight. i fully enjoyed reading both. i read n i think vote on your shit every week jowels and no surprise here, you came nice as hell. everything i woulda expected from you man. IV too, u came with pure hotness. i liked everything about it from flow to story telling this was the sickest battle. Now i would love to pull a D and refuse to vote but its tied n i gotta be the tie breaker. so..

Vote- IV because his verse kept my attention long. i was more into his story. nice shit yall, return fava
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Old 12-11-2003, 02:31 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Old 12-11-2003, 02:12 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Jowelz - I loved your verse. The emotion was captivating. The conflict within the inmate himself and between the friends was done very well. You could sense the meaning behing each especially when the conversations were present. The imagery was excelllent and the word choice was perfect for this piece. Very good read.

InsaneVillian - your verse was good and well written. Made for a enjoyable read. The transistion between verse was done well once again. The description was good and the ending and concept of the verse was nice. Good way to apporach the topic. Although the only problem I had with your verse was the wrestling thing. I didn't see how each one of the names tied into the verse. I understand how they affect the verse in the end.. but the verses under the peoples name I felt didn't really have any refrences to them at all.

I think this match came down to personal preference. As to who I was filling more. Both verses kept me intrested the whole way through. Grabbed me from the begginin. I think both verses were equal on every plane... but I thik that Jowelz edged this one out.. just because the emotion in his verse grabbed me slightly more.

Vote - Jowelz

This was deff a dope battle.
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Old 12-11-2003, 06:16 PM   #19 (permalink)
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jowelz......
damn guy this gottabe one of the best verses ive read fo real...
this was str8 dope!!!!every single line...the storytellin was amazin
i was gonna take this topic but decided not to and just readin the way you wrote it is like damn!


IV
you had a very nice verse too...nice word play...like you said,we kinda got the same rhyme structure lol
i enjoyed readin your verse...went into depth with your topic and wrote very well..lyrics were good

vote-jowelz
this verse is stuck in my head...cuz it was just too much....i dont like read