Open Me up.....

[onewoman2late]

`Where should i begin? Maybe where you stepped out and my soul would not let any other in......

Ive been through all this once before writting so i wont displace my verbal no one can see my soul shatter to its core, so bent on everything that makes up you funny all i wanted was to (love you) i lost myself the woman whom i once knew!!!

Each evening after ive punched my time in society I come home looking around searching through closets, boxes wanting my mental memorey of you........

Sometimes it gets so bad all i can do is breathe, smoke a few trees drink til im so drunk i just pass out..... leaving no room for you! no love for you! no feelings of self doubt due to you!.....i find myself laughing to cover the feelings we once shared all these emotions smashed down locked inside my mental jail thus bringing me out of my circle and social scale.

Its really lonely dark and torn i try so hard to not to think! not to care! then i see a photograph and again wish my soul was there.... It has to be a better way i cant keep this juggling act up for very long, I want so much to give up right this second in time just fade away count my losses for trying to keep what was never truely mine...........

My high has passed my soul now sober and once again im made to see happiness is only an illusion of the hearts capacity, when its gone really through thats when my reality is clear and the truth is shown................... i am loved by No One and my soul is non exsistant in the walls of my very own, but at least its my heart ache, my loss, and my stepping stone! Maybe now my soul can die in peace for i sure pray it will before i awake from this semi charmed reality of giving my love heart and soul to anyone once more im cold as ice and hell i dont care to love anymore............... C.J.

[skandelous_lala]

At first I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to follow this well..as far as it having some kind of flow. But I found on in there with stressing different words...I liked the way I heard it in my mind =)

I'm feeling this on a whole personal been there done that sourta way.
Thanks for sharing.

[Poetic Concept]

I thought it was good I caught the semi rhyme scheme through out and I thought it was very expressionistic, it reminds me of a painting I say, which is the weirdest thing, the colors used describe, you, your words, illuminate the room, shallow rays of sunshine, beaming into my mind, rewinding to a time I have seen this before, stored capacity revealed through words, yearn for the picture, vividly expressing the picture...ok I am finished, I overall thought the poem was good but its weird how when I read your poem I was reminded of the picture so much, anyways good drop

[Natty LoCs]

nice one grass hopper lol...ur form still kinda confuses me at times...but this was confusing in a good way if that makes sense if not call me and i'll explain it later...but i can see how u are growing in ur writing...and it did seem like a painting of some sort...really nice use of words and imagery

[AlmostFamous]

Each evening after ive punched my time in society I come home looking around searching through closets, boxes wanting my mental memorey of you........

I like what you did with this part^^ good imagery

and as for the rest it was a desperation piece that hit home to me... i can relate

keep ya head up man