Brick

_PSYCHLONE_ · 03-25-2006, 01:42 AM

my eyes burn from a rub that i can feel all day
they want us for money as they drown in there own things
seeds of money planted then threaded into a dream
for the ones that were early and crawled in Maturity
most shaved out during the study were forced upon
no care shaking hands with battling school punks
they keep us locked up on time with forced intellegence
if one cant take it he fails into a troubled kid
but his torment of pain from all the guy hes jealous of
he'd rather not go in then go in and be stuck
the mans 18 hes forced to sign a draft agreement
our losses make needs for those who's lives will be shaking
from paranoia of dreams becoming someone elses
I faked blurry vision sought for the Netherlands

Poetic Concept · 03-25-2006, 02:08 PM

I have no idea what is the whole concept or message..planting my only seed, a gentle breeze, pushed my solemn dreams, into a neighborhood of broken streets, speaking out to stray seed, astrayed in the sod, deeped rooted in the community, feeding who? fuck the government, we dont need yall help, born alone...Im gonna grow by my god damn self...Im going to quit I am getting to into it...lol...it was ok but I had know idea where u were going, maybe I should read it again...anyways could u tell me the concept so I can reread it

Check Out: Swear to God: By Me (Poetic Concepts)

_PSYCHLONE_ · 03-25-2006, 04:29 PM

ill do that

skandelous_lala · 03-26-2006, 04:14 AM

Seemed scattered...like a venting piece.

I'm wondering where the title came from and how and if it does fit in the poem?

The first three lines seem to work together but then it goes off on 5-6 lines that seem to somewhat follow each other and then back off on something different that I'm not following..especially the last line.

_PSYCHLONE_ · 03-27-2006, 05:17 PM

My Little Challenge Everything Including The Title And Whole Poem Are About Something Who Can Get It Anyone Can You Figure Me Out

_PSYCHLONE_ · 03-27-2006, 05:23 PM

Think This:

Going To School, Facing School, Another Peice Of Civilization's Dream

_PSYCHLONE_ · 03-27-2006, 05:28 PM

We Sign The Papers When 18 Are We Realy Free Are We Realy Fucking Free

What If They Bomb Un.st. And Destroy Intellegence And Defence We'll Need More Men To Fight Or We All Die

Why Dont Preidents Fight War Hehe

AlmostFamous · 03-29-2006, 10:03 AM

i didnt understand this one bit... seems like you were venting though which at times doesnt make sense to another person unless you know that person but um yeah didnt understand it man

_PSYCHLONE_ · 03-30-2006, 07:35 AM

can anypne figure me out

_PSYCHLONE_ · 04-02-2006, 09:30 PM

dildo pee

MISSKEYdaQUEEN · 04-02-2006, 10:28 PM

lol...Punctuation helps especially when you don't break the lines up..

listen ....don't get defensive..I kind of understand but....I don't know...

absolute zero · 04-03-2006, 11:53 AM

reads like an anti-goverment piece to me.

The only part I liked was the last line. Everything else was bland.....blah. Just tell us if it's a read-between-the-line poem, or else you're just hoping for nothing. Stay up

Bless.

_PSYCHLONE_ · 04-03-2006, 08:17 PM

yeah read through the damn lines its not just words

absolute zero · 04-03-2006, 09:20 PM

strike a nerve, eh?

Maybe you're trying to hard.

_PSYCHLONE_ · 04-04-2006, 01:40 AM

my nerves are satisfied by eleven year old girls wearing tight clothes, and go out to eat with their parents... thats when i cradle them while the mist off trips

03-25-2006, 01:42 AM	#1 (permalink)
_PSYCHLONE_ Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 90	Brick my eyes burn from a rub that i can feel all day they want us for money as they drown in there own things seeds of money planted then threaded into a dream for the ones that were early and crawled in Maturity most shaved out during the study were forced upon no care shaking hands with battling school punks they keep us locked up on time with forced intellegence if one cant take it he fails into a troubled kid but his torment of pain from all the guy hes jealous of he'd rather not go in then go in and be stuck the mans 18 hes forced to sign a draft agreement our losses make needs for those who's lives will be shaking from paranoia of dreams becoming someone elses I faked blurry vision sought for the Netherlands

03-25-2006, 02:08 PM	#2 (permalink)
Poetic Concept Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Milwaukee Posts: 257	I have no idea what is the whole concept or message..planting my only seed, a gentle breeze, pushed my solemn dreams, into a neighborhood of broken streets, speaking out to stray seed, astrayed in the sod, deeped rooted in the community, feeding who? fuck the government, we dont need yall help, born alone...Im gonna grow by my god damn self...Im going to quit I am getting to into it...lol...it was ok but I had know idea where u were going, maybe I should read it again...anyways could u tell me the concept so I can reread it Check Out: Swear to God: By Me (Poetic Concepts) Last edited by Poetic Concept; 03-25-2006 at 02:11 PM.

03-25-2006, 04:29 PM	#3 (permalink)
_PSYCHLONE_ Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 90	ill do that __________________ WRITES MUSIC THIS IS WHAT I DO

03-26-2006, 04:14 AM	#4 (permalink)
skandelous_lala back from the dead Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Hey! Fuck you and the horse you rode in on! Posts: 26,707	Seemed scattered...like a venting piece. I'm wondering where the title came from and how and if it does fit in the poem? The first three lines seem to work together but then it goes off on 5-6 lines that seem to somewhat follow each other and then back off on something different that I'm not following..especially the last line. __________________ ALL YOU REALLY KNOW IS WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW Good Mourning, Good afternoon, Good nite, what have you done with your life?. Everybody's time comes to be embraced by the light you only afraid to die when you ain't livin right

03-27-2006, 05:17 PM	#5 (permalink)
_PSYCHLONE_ Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 90	My Little Challenge Everything Including The Title And Whole Poem Are About Something Who Can Get It Anyone Can You Figure Me Out __________________ WRITES MUSIC THIS IS WHAT I DO

03-27-2006, 05:23 PM	#6 (permalink)
_PSYCHLONE_ Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 90	Think This: Going To School, Facing School, Another Peice Of Civilization's Dream __________________ WRITES MUSIC THIS IS WHAT I DO

03-27-2006, 05:28 PM	#7 (permalink)
_PSYCHLONE_ Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 90	We Sign The Papers When 18 Are We Realy Free Are We Realy Fucking Free What If They Bomb Un.st. And Destroy Intellegence And Defence We'll Need More Men To Fight Or We All Die Why Dont Preidents Fight War Hehe __________________ WRITES MUSIC THIS IS WHAT I DO

03-29-2006, 10:03 AM	#8 (permalink)
AlmostFamous U got a problem? Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Sioux Falls Posts: 2,789	i didnt understand this one bit... seems like you were venting though which at times doesnt make sense to another person unless you know that person but um yeah didnt understand it man __________________ the good lord giveth and he taketh away isnt that the truth My name is Nate Short MYSPACE NAME:http://www.myspace.com/tooshortnate

03-30-2006, 07:35 AM	#9 (permalink)
_PSYCHLONE_ Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 90	can anypne figure me out __________________ WRITES MUSIC THIS IS WHAT I DO

04-02-2006, 09:30 PM	#10 (permalink)
_PSYCHLONE_ Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 90	dildo pee __________________ WRITES MUSIC THIS IS WHAT I DO

04-02-2006, 10:28 PM	#11 (permalink)
MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther.. Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Glenville REPPIN BIYAAAATCHES!! Posts: 17,647	lol...Punctuation helps especially when you don't break the lines up.. listen ....don't get defensive..I kind of understand but....I don't know... __________________ Queen's MySpace Page Queen's Other Myspace Page biaaatches *********************** The battles that count aren't the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourself—the invisible, inevitable battles inside all of us—that's where it's at.~Jesse Owens (1913-1980)

04-03-2006, 11:53 AM	#12 (permalink)
absolute zero I got id. Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NO NO NO Posts: 7,189	reads like an anti-goverment piece to me. The only part I liked was the last line. Everything else was bland.....blah. Just tell us if it's a read-between-the-line poem, or else you're just hoping for nothing. Stay up Bless. __________________ They say money changes you but money don't change you it just makes you more of what you already are.

04-03-2006, 08:17 PM	#13 (permalink)
_PSYCHLONE_ Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 90	yeah read through the damn lines its not just words __________________ WRITES MUSIC THIS IS WHAT I DO

04-03-2006, 09:20 PM	#14 (permalink)
absolute zero I got id. Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NO NO NO Posts: 7,189	strike a nerve, eh? Maybe you're trying to hard. __________________ They say money changes you but money don't change you it just makes you more of what you already are.

04-04-2006, 01:40 AM	#15 (permalink)
_PSYCHLONE_ Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 90	my nerves are satisfied by eleven year old girls wearing tight clothes, and go out to eat with their parents... thats when i cradle them while the mist off trips __________________ WRITES MUSIC THIS IS WHAT I DO

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