Cupids Ransom Note

UFO the Phoenix · 02-14-2006, 12:36 PM

Cupid’s Ransom Note (By Oddie Sloan – Feb 14, 2005)

“Happy Valentines day Oddie!!!!”
Shout the teenage girls with curious smiles
Surrounding me with their giggling moods
“What are the plans with your special someone?”
And like a demented Ebenezer scrooge
I murmur in anger “Ba-Humbug”
Forgetting that they are too young
To understand the trails of love…

…. Don’t mind the blood
As my brain recalls the first hug
Some kind of porcupines love
Left spikes in my heart
Which take years to unplug
And it all started from a rose on a hook
Where street lamps bend over for a closer look
Spot light the frozen gnats and random acts
Of catchy clichés that were suppose to work?
Yet her beaches were golden - clear sand - knee deep
Beauty unwoven into diamonds and pearls
She doesn’t need me
My roses disposed of like washed up sea weed
Sunset’s graffiti
Leaving the shadows of my memories greedy
To remember her more
This battle was lost before we reached shore
Now I wonder the ocean floor with empty hands
The hardheaded captain who waited to the last minute
To abandon a sunken “relation “ship
Now upset – feet forever wet – unable to forget
Shipwreck in the Bermuda triangle
Emotions holding regrets
I found Atlantis in her kiss
And her fingerprints left evidence
For intelligence on the moon
Now I cruise the lagoons open view
Singing new tunes
The seagulls label “Oceanblues”
I shouldn’t have fallen for a Scorpio
The anglerfish mistress
Shining star who stung my heart and soul
Her poison still lingers behind my lips

Oh how I exist down here distant from God….

I don’t know?

Deep dark profound ebony abyss
Prisoner to oxygen
I can’t really fly and I never learned to swim
The ruler of all but I’m a stranger at this
At this…. this •••el called love
I’ll have better luck walking the ocean floor
Collecting sun flowers and charcoal dust
Awe…. I shouldn’t have set myself up
Unlocked all my hidden trust
Rushed to the welcoming arms of forbidden lust………
The grimacing face - standing in place
With centipede legs - her feelings erased
Love letters kissing paper shedders
And cupid’s famous double-header
The disappearing act of “I love you forever’s”
Has got me dreaming of bloody feathers
Oh you had me stone with those poison arrows
Hallucinating my fairy tale love like a drug
Medusa marble with invisible needle in my arm
What if I were to kidnapped this robin hood of charm
This sightless archer of compassion gone wrong
Send out a ransom note to the mythical world
I got your boy now give me back my girl!!!!!

Snapping out of my day dream
Excuse me I’ve really gone mad?!
Perhaps because a poet without love
Is like an architect without blueprints
And I’m empty handed this February 14
From the adoring message you once sent
I leave the room my shoe prints
Attempting to flee the night
My only Valentine this year is Jesus Christ
As I walk away with a silent sigh
I don’t know rather to laugh or cry
Then one of the teenager girls taps my shoulder soft
And with effervesce eyes of delight
Hands me a Valentines card
This cheesy hallmark moment
Signaled my heart back to life
A simple gesture of polite passion
Cupids ransom note transformed with fantasies reborn
As the words of armatures signaled new hope

allnakey · 02-19-2006, 03:21 AM

This was real nice man, made me feel warm at the end. Made for a real nice story... Sure it was a alittle cheesy but all in all it was cute.

Stay Up, much Love, Peace

MISSKEYdaQUEEN · 02-21-2006, 02:19 PM

Wow.....this took me on a trip. I can empathize with this one! I didn't have a Valentines....so I went and bought mySELF a tiger and some chocolate...lol

Anyway, the story ended nicely. Well done!

Bhitiah · 02-21-2006, 03:46 PM

Perhaps because a poet without love
Is like an architect without blueprints

lol...whateverrr

I dont know about this either. I'll have to think on it. I'll be baaaack.

skandelous_lala · 02-22-2006, 06:37 AM

I always try to read things outloud so I really took notice and loved the flow and this...most of it was nice & smooth.

The topic is just sourta eh to me. It didn't do anything for me personally. THe highlight was the way it read, not the content.

For the Cause · 02-22-2006, 02:18 PM

wow dog
the imagery was off the hook in this
straight fire man

…. Don’t mind the blood
As my brain recalls the first hug
Some kind of porcupines love
Left spikes in my heart
Which take years to unplug
And it all started from a rose on a hook
Where street lamps bend over for a closer look
Spot light the frozen gnats and random acts
Of catchy clichés that were suppose to work?
Yet her beaches were golden - clear sand - knee deep
Beauty unwoven into diamonds and pearls
She doesn’t need me
My roses disposed of like washed up sea weed
Sunset’s graffiti
Leaving the shadows of my memories greedy
To remember her more
This battle was lost before we reached shore
Now I wonder the ocean floor with empty hands
The hardheaded captain who waited to the last minute
To abandon a sunken “relation “ship

if it was a true story i could really see where you were goin with this
i loved the whole washed up in the ocean idea man
this was great cuz i could picture it on a cd but it also portrayed so much emotion
a great job man
applause is very well earned
i got to read over this a couple times
one.

~Eloquent · 02-22-2006, 03:13 PM

basically everything i wanted to say right their^^^
you are very ill man...

Poetical Techniquez · 02-23-2006, 02:30 PM

…I like this…I’ve been thru and u touched on so many things that I know I thought about when loneliness set in like, what happened to the I love you forevers and etc…def digg’in this piece…that part about “I got your boy now give me my girl” had me laff’in…like I could picture the evil look but feel the feel’in inside the main character like yea this will work haha

SAMARA · 02-24-2006, 11:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bhitiah

I'll have to think on it. I'll be baaaack.

I agree.

AlmostFamous · 02-25-2006, 06:06 AM

Where street lamps bend over for a closer look
Spot light the frozen gnats and random acts
Of catchy clichés that were suppose to work?

i like how this was worded...

but honestly man the rest was kind of cheesy b... sorry im just being truthful man

for example the architect line .... man im sorry but that was some of the cheesiest stuff ive done heard from you man

misspimp · 03-02-2006, 12:15 PM

My only Valentine this year is Jesus Christ

Very Very Very beautiful piece....and now i can see why this was voted best poem of the month.

And to think I almost didnt read it b/c of the length...i am very glad i did

this flowed amazingly well...another dope drop

mad love

Atticus Prophet · 03-02-2006, 04:23 PM

I dunno, I just never really felt connected to the content, and in comparison to the other things I've read by you which I loved this just didn't measure up for me. Felt kind of rushed and the metaphors were much less creative then I've grown accustomed to seeing you produce. But still, next to most this piece is still very nice and I respect it for the content but if terms of YOU personally I think I've just seen better and more creative things from you. Sorry man.

02-14-2006, 12:36 PM	#1 (permalink)
UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS! Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Oceanside CA USA Posts: 2,965	Cupids Ransom Note Cupid’s Ransom Note (By Oddie Sloan – Feb 14, 2005) “Happy Valentines day Oddie!!!!” Shout the teenage girls with curious smiles Surrounding me with their giggling moods “What are the plans with your special someone?” And like a demented Ebenezer scrooge I murmur in anger “Ba-Humbug” Forgetting that they are too young To understand the trails of love… …. Don’t mind the blood As my brain recalls the first hug Some kind of porcupines love Left spikes in my heart Which take years to unplug And it all started from a rose on a hook Where street lamps bend over for a closer look Spot light the frozen gnats and random acts Of catchy clichés that were suppose to work? Yet her beaches were golden - clear sand - knee deep Beauty unwoven into diamonds and pearls She doesn’t need me My roses disposed of like washed up sea weed Sunset’s graffiti Leaving the shadows of my memories greedy To remember her more This battle was lost before we reached shore Now I wonder the ocean floor with empty hands The hardheaded captain who waited to the last minute To abandon a sunken “relation “ship Now upset – feet forever wet – unable to forget Shipwreck in the Bermuda triangle Emotions holding regrets I found Atlantis in her kiss And her fingerprints left evidence For intelligence on the moon Now I cruise the lagoons open view Singing new tunes The seagulls label “Oceanblues” I shouldn’t have fallen for a Scorpio The anglerfish mistress Shining star who stung my heart and soul Her poison still lingers behind my lips Oh how I exist down here distant from God…. I don’t know? Deep dark profound ebony abyss Prisoner to oxygen I can’t really fly and I never learned to swim The ruler of all but I’m a stranger at this At this…. this •••el called love I’ll have better luck walking the ocean floor Collecting sun flowers and charcoal dust Awe…. I shouldn’t have set myself up Unlocked all my hidden trust Rushed to the welcoming arms of forbidden lust……… The grimacing face - standing in place With centipede legs - her feelings erased Love letters kissing paper shedders And cupid’s famous double-header The disappearing act of “I love you forever’s” Has got me dreaming of bloody feathers Oh you had me stone with those poison arrows Hallucinating my fairy tale love like a drug Medusa marble with invisible needle in my arm What if I were to kidnapped this robin hood of charm This sightless archer of compassion gone wrong Send out a ransom note to the mythical world I got your boy now give me back my girl!!!!! Snapping out of my day dream Excuse me I’ve really gone mad?! Perhaps because a poet without love Is like an architect without blueprints And I’m empty handed this February 14 From the adoring message you once sent I leave the room my shoe prints Attempting to flee the night My only Valentine this year is Jesus Christ As I walk away with a silent sigh I don’t know rather to laugh or cry Then one of the teenager girls taps my shoulder soft And with effervesce eyes of delight Hands me a Valentines card This cheesy hallmark moment Signaled my heart back to life A simple gesture of polite passion Cupids ransom note transformed with fantasies reborn As the words of armatures signaled new hope __________________ *The Truth isn't out there because its already landed and the Truth is:* JESUS CHRIST Oddie Sloan

02-19-2006, 03:21 AM	#2 (permalink)
allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 2,860	This was real nice man, made me feel warm at the end. Made for a real nice story... Sure it was a alittle cheesy but all in all it was cute. Stay Up, much Love, Peace __________________ And I sat watching a flower As it was withering I was embarrassed by its honesty So I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face Not this fucking wreck That's taken its place get some balls biatch or else

02-21-2006, 02:19 PM	#3 (permalink)
MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther.. Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Glenville REPPIN BIYAAAATCHES!! Posts: 17,647	Wow.....this took me on a trip. I can empathize with this one! I didn't have a Valentines....so I went and bought mySELF a tiger and some chocolate...lol Anyway, the story ended nicely. Well done! __________________ Queen's MySpace Page Queen's Other Myspace Page biaaatches *********************** The battles that count aren't the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourself—the invisible, inevitable battles inside all of us—that's where it's at.~Jesse Owens (1913-1980)

02-21-2006, 03:46 PM	#4 (permalink)
Bhitiah Powerful Scriptures Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,168	Perhaps because a poet without love Is like an architect without blueprints lol...whateverrr I dont know about this either. I'll have to think on it. I'll be baaaack. __________________ You can bomb the world to peices, but cant bomb into peace

02-22-2006, 06:37 AM	#5 (permalink)
skandelous_lala back from the dead Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Hey! Fuck you and the horse you rode in on! Posts: 26,707	I always try to read things outloud so I really took notice and loved the flow and this...most of it was nice & smooth. The topic is just sourta eh to me. It didn't do anything for me personally. THe highlight was the way it read, not the content. __________________ ALL YOU REALLY KNOW IS WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW Good Mourning, Good afternoon, Good nite, what have you done with your life?. Everybody's time comes to be embraced by the light you only afraid to die when you ain't livin right

02-22-2006, 02:18 PM	#6 (permalink)
For the Cause Liberty needs glasses Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 187	wow dog the imagery was off the hook in this straight fire man …. Don’t mind the blood As my brain recalls the first hug Some kind of porcupines love Left spikes in my heart Which take years to unplug And it all started from a rose on a hook Where street lamps bend over for a closer look Spot light the frozen gnats and random acts Of catchy clichés that were suppose to work? Yet her beaches were golden - clear sand - knee deep Beauty unwoven into diamonds and pearls She doesn’t need me My roses disposed of like washed up sea weed Sunset’s graffiti Leaving the shadows of my memories greedy To remember her more This battle was lost before we reached shore Now I wonder the ocean floor with empty hands The hardheaded captain who waited to the last minute To abandon a sunken “relation “ship if it was a true story i could really see where you were goin with this i loved the whole washed up in the ocean idea man this was great cuz i could picture it on a cd but it also portrayed so much emotion a great job man applause is very well earned i got to read over this a couple times one. __________________ For what cause?

02-22-2006, 03:13 PM	#7 (permalink)
~Eloquent Cold Logic Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: trapped where i cant leave,Florida Posts: 3,825	basically everything i wanted to say right their^^^ you are very ill man...

02-23-2006, 02:30 PM	#8 (permalink)
Poetical Techniquez Lost in Thought Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Tha 4-1-4 Posts: 3,210	…I like this…I’ve been thru and u touched on so many things that I know I thought about when loneliness set in like, what happened to the I love you forevers and etc…def digg’in this piece…that part about “I got your boy now give me my girl” had me laff’in…like I could picture the evil look but feel the feel’in inside the main character like yea this will work haha Last edited by Poetical Techniquez; 02-23-2006 at 02:31 PM.

02-25-2006, 06:06 AM	#10 (permalink)
AlmostFamous U got a problem? Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Sioux Falls Posts: 2,789	Where street lamps bend over for a closer look Spot light the frozen gnats and random acts Of catchy clichés that were suppose to work? i like how this was worded... but honestly man the rest was kind of cheesy b... sorry im just being truthful man for example the architect line .... man im sorry but that was some of the cheesiest stuff ive done heard from you man __________________ the good lord giveth and he taketh away isnt that the truth My name is Nate Short MYSPACE NAME:http://www.myspace.com/tooshortnate

03-02-2006, 12:15 PM	#11 (permalink)
misspimp a.k.a KATURAH Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Virginia Is For Lovers Posts: 1,308	My only Valentine this year is Jesus Christ Very Very Very beautiful piece....and now i can see why this was voted best poem of the month. And to think I almost didnt read it b/c of the length...i am very glad i did this flowed amazingly well...another dope drop mad love __________________ MAD LOVE "Never to suffer would never to have been blessed" ~THE LATE GREAT ~ ~EDGAR ALLEN POE ~

03-02-2006, 04:23 PM	#12 (permalink)
Atticus Prophet Hears to the Mute Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 51	I dunno, I just never really felt connected to the content, and in comparison to the other things I've read by you which I loved this just didn't measure up for me. Felt kind of rushed and the metaphors were much less creative then I've grown accustomed to seeing you produce. But still, next to most this piece is still very nice and I respect it for the content but if terms of YOU personally I think I've just seen better and more creative things from you. Sorry man. __________________ Take the veil Cerpin Taxt...

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