When she fell asleep

This is a discussion on When she fell asleep within the Poetry Realm forums, part of the Intellect Zone category; The action of a kiss could set her heart on fire She smelled like morning rain When the summer collided ...


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Old 02-13-2006, 10:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
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allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!allnakey will do you doggie style!
When she fell asleep
The action of a kiss could set her heart on fire

She smelled like morning rain
When the summer collided with fall
And in the after hours of that night
A small tear evaporated into sparks
I whipped her eyes, smiling
She whispered something sweet
Rolling back into the warm covers
It was that protection she wanted
I muted the TV to hear her sleep
Nuzzling the pillow was her lips
My hand softly tickling her stomach
She was ticklish, but never showed it
I knew it made her laugh inside
I laugh because she’s safe
Laying there with me, silently laughing
Saying I love her, to her, never made any sense
Slowly licking her neck, that made sense
She could feel that… she didn’t have to hear
And it meant 10x more then a poem
And 100x more then words I spoke
It was the truest form of expression
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And I sat watching a flower
As it was withering
I was embarrassed by its honesty
So I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face
Not this fucking wreck
That's taken its place

get some balls biatch or else
Last edited by allnakey; 02-14-2006 at 03:02 PM.
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Old 02-14-2006, 04:17 AM   #2 (permalink)
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"She smelled like morning rain
When the summer collided with fall
And in the after hours of that night
A small tear evaporated into sparks
I whipped her eyes, smiling
She whispered something sweet
Rolling back into the war covers
It was that protection she wanted
I muted the TV to hear her sleep
Nuzzling the pillow was her lips
My hand softly tickling her stomach
She was ticklish, but never showed it
I knew it made her laugh inside
I laugh because she’s safe
Laying there with me, silently laughing
Saying I love her, to her, never made any sense
Slowly licking her neck, that made sense
She could feel that… she didn’t have to hear
And it meant 10x more then a poem
And 100x more then words I spoke
It was the truest form of expression"


Awww, This was precious. This was cute. :-) and very well said.
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Old 02-14-2006, 09:44 AM   #3 (permalink)
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DAMN!! I was defiently feeling this piece. The imagery was beautiful.....definetly expressed ure emotions very well....tight piece!!!!!

mad love
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Old 02-15-2006, 09:09 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I have read this a few times and I will probably read it a few more still.

getting slept on, it is a thought filled piece.

enjoyable drop.
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Old 02-15-2006, 11:57 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I appreciate the idea behind this piece, a bit too confronting for my mind but perhaps that's the point. Another surreal mindscape, that holds much meaning, and a strange essence that you have realised and captured with style, so impressive...compelling, and a joy to read. Another favorite. Stay up.

Footprints

Return.

Gh05t!
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Old 02-16-2006, 02:34 PM   #6 (permalink)
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"I muted the TV to hear her sleep"

I liked that line. Most would find it creepy, but I think it's wonderful. You never cease to amaze me, nakey.

Bless.
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Old 02-18-2006, 08:44 AM   #7 (permalink)
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^^^^I wouldn't find it creepy!

But man Oh man this piece is beautiful! Damn!! It's just lovely!! It's so warm and sincere. Thanks for this drop!
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Old 02-18-2006, 10:04 PM   #8 (permalink)
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This was brilliant. This was one of the best things i have read. Real nice job.
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Old 02-23-2006, 02:32 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Poetical Techniquez takes it up the butt!
I gotta co sign what absolute said….I’ve done this many times before and its something move’in about watch’in a significant other sleep and just watch them and mess wit them and what not…try to think what they are dream’in if they and so on and so on…nice
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Old 02-25-2006, 06:10 AM   #10 (permalink)
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ummm wow man this was hearfelt and very crafty... applause and hats off to you sirrrr

i havent read anything from you in awhile

and to come back and read this is quite the refreshment i need right about now yo

keep writing Nakey

One love Man

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Old 03-02-2006, 04:49 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I'll go crazy if I woke up and my girl was staring at me. And I'll really go crazy if she was fucking with me while I was trying to sleep. Nonetheless, this was a "sweet" piece. Made me feel all mushy inside like you wrote it for me.

One luv
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Old 03-06-2006, 11:01 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Laying there with me, silently laughing
Saying I love her, to her, never made any sense

i likes...

you've always been so good at these short pieces...i always felt like it was incomplete when i had poems this short...

this was nice..i like the simplicty and pace of this poem...feels like your in love..

up
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