She's everything, but herself...

akqrate · 01-04-2006, 07:26 AM

Hello to all the people that remember me. I love yall. I have just been going through a rough patch where on one side lies career and riches and the other side is my happiness. I'm being forced by the world around me to adapt to the first one. That's why I havent been up here in ages. In a few days I'll be back home and then hopefully more active on this place that I love.

Anyways, a girl that I deeply care about is going to have to get married if she wants to be on good terms with her family. We have something deep, and because I understand her situation I can't tell her to ignore it all. This is dedicated to her.

She…

She screams deafening tunes

But which fall upon deaf mindsets,

Which in turn shape her (mis)fortunes.

She…

She looks to the heavenly lights

But other watchful eyes describe,

The righteous as against her rights’.

She…

She talks of things wise

But dismissed as falling stars,

She lives in someone else’s skies.

She…

She makes wine from waterstreams

But “wiser” words crack her frame,

Extinguishing the flame of her dreams.

She…

She sacrifices her life for a tiara

But by agreeing to agreements,

She vanishes in every mirror.

She…

She exists

But she…,

…doesn’t.

Definit_ · 01-04-2006, 12:46 PM

She…

She talks of things wise

But dismissed as falling stars,

She lives in someone else’s skies.

She…

She makes wine from waterstreams

But “wiser” words crack her frame,

Extinguishing the flame of her dreams.

I Like This Piece Alot..I Can Definately Relate

Its Real Beautiful..Soothing, And Just Gives Off A Breezy Vibe(If That Makes Sense)

You Got Skills, Stay Up

1-

Nebulaz · 01-04-2006, 09:49 PM

So I want more. I want you to go back and write even more to this. Go deeper and more thorough. You are a great, great writer. Wow me some more and write a part two. I don't have anything to be critique b/c its unique enough to stand as its own.

akqrate · 01-05-2006, 03:28 AM

nebulaz, it seems u been here for a while, did u used to go under a different name? Coz i was way more active before, i might know ya, also sorry but right now it's kinda hard for me to get an internet connection, i'm working in the middle of nowhere, but when I do get back, I will write a part 2 just for u lol. Also, Mind$oul what's happened to my rep? Where's Ashes and Absolute Zero and Quotive and Realms and Samara....

Nebulaz · 01-05-2006, 07:48 PM

Always Nebulaz. I posted back mostly in the late '01- early '03, then died off. but trying to make a less than glorious come back.

RealMS · 01-07-2006, 02:12 PM

Every last line in the piece is pretty self-explanatory for what I was feeling after reading what you wrote right before the poem. You know in your heart that what's going on isn't just, and I think she knows as well. But that's a, well-messed up situation for her to be in. That sucks. I'm sorry you gotta go through it as well, its almost like you're stuck in the middle and can't do anything to make it less severe. Everything has its consequence though. I hope you stay strong through this ordeal. I like the title too now that I've read this. Keep writing bro. And yeah they reset the little reputation thing not too long ago.

-Much Love

akqrate · 01-08-2006, 12:36 AM

Oh ok, thanks Nebulaz, i'll keep a lookout for u from now on. Realms, thank you so much for giving an indepth reply and props for identifying with the piece. I am strong enough, wasn't always, but now all the pain is hidden behind a sugary, happy exterior. And I can manage it. Anyways, any other takers? Uppin!

Bhitiah · 01-15-2006, 03:43 AM

still lmfao @ RealMS...

She…

She makes wine from waterstreams

But “wiser” words crack her frame,

Extinguishing the flame of her dreams.

She…

She sacrifices her life for a tiara

But by agreeing to agreements,

She vanishes in every mirror.

That was tight ....Good peice man, Stay up.

SAMARA · 01-23-2006, 11:57 PM

nice drop.
fav lines:

She…She talks of things wise

But dismissed as falling stars,

She lives in someone else’s skies.

RiCanSOL · 01-31-2006, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nebulaz

So I want more. I want you to go back and write even more to this. Go deeper and more thorough. You are a great, great writer. Wow me some more and write a part two. I don't have anything to be critique b/c its unique enough to stand as its own.

I agree...it was such a unique piece that I wanted to go further into it.
This is my favorite line:

She lives in someone else’s skies.

I just get lost in that line....maybe I'm easily amused lol

skandelous_lala · 02-02-2006, 12:04 PM

Lovely.

This says all that it needs to say...IMO it's perfection.

misspimp · 02-03-2006, 09:34 AM

I have to agree with realms...i did like the poem more after reading what you wrote at the top. but anyhoo....this is a sad situation....hopefully u and home girl will get thru....God will never put more onme that I can bare.

mad love

Jello/Jelly · 02-07-2006, 03:58 PM

ohh la la...i like it..very mysterious feeling as well.

hopefully it ISNT a life situation

01-04-2006, 07:26 AM	#1 (permalink)
akqrate Ear-candy Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: These streets below the moon Posts: 401	She's everything, but herself... Hello to all the people that remember me. I love yall. I have just been going through a rough patch where on one side lies career and riches and the other side is my happiness. I'm being forced by the world around me to adapt to the first one. That's why I havent been up here in ages. In a few days I'll be back home and then hopefully more active on this place that I love. Anyways, a girl that I deeply care about is going to have to get married if she wants to be on good terms with her family. We have something deep, and because I understand her situation I can't tell her to ignore it all. This is dedicated to her. She… She screams deafening tunes But which fall upon deaf mindsets, Which in turn shape her (mis)fortunes. She… She looks to the heavenly lights But other watchful eyes describe, The righteous as against her rights’. She… She talks of things wise But dismissed as falling stars, She lives in someone else’s skies. She… She makes wine from waterstreams But “wiser” words crack her frame, Extinguishing the flame of her dreams. She… She sacrifices her life for a tiara But by agreeing to agreements, She vanishes in every mirror. She… She exists But she…, …doesn’t. __________________ Love, a game where the devil rolls the dice Not knowing when we threw ourselves in To keep our fire ablaze... akQrate

01-04-2006, 09:49 PM	#3 (permalink)
Nebulaz fear God, not man Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 935	So I want more. I want you to go back and write even more to this. Go deeper and more thorough. You are a great, great writer. Wow me some more and write a part two. I don't have anything to be critique b/c its unique enough to stand as its own. __________________ "It is impossible to account for the creation of the universe without the agency of a Supreme Being. It is impossible to govern the universe without the aid of a Supreme Being. It is impossible to reason without arriving at a Supreme Being. Religion is as necessary to reason as reason is to religion. The one cannot exist without the other. A reasoning being would lose reason in attempting to account for the great phenomena of nature, had he not a Supreme Being to refer to; and will has it been said, that if there had been no God, mankind would have been obliged to imagine one." - - George Washington

01-05-2006, 03:28 AM	#4 (permalink)
akqrate Ear-candy Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: These streets below the moon Posts: 401	nebulaz, it seems u been here for a while, did u used to go under a different name? Coz i was way more active before, i might know ya, also sorry but right now it's kinda hard for me to get an internet connection, i'm working in the middle of nowhere, but when I do get back, I will write a part 2 just for u lol. Also, Mind$oul what's happened to my rep? Where's Ashes and Absolute Zero and Quotive and Realms and Samara.... __________________ Love, a game where the devil rolls the dice Not knowing when we threw ourselves in To keep our fire ablaze... akQrate

01-05-2006, 07:48 PM	#5 (permalink)
Nebulaz fear God, not man Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 935	Always Nebulaz. I posted back mostly in the late '01- early '03, then died off. but trying to make a less than glorious come back. __________________ "It is impossible to account for the creation of the universe without the agency of a Supreme Being. It is impossible to govern the universe without the aid of a Supreme Being. It is impossible to reason without arriving at a Supreme Being. Religion is as necessary to reason as reason is to religion. The one cannot exist without the other. A reasoning being would lose reason in attempting to account for the great phenomena of nature, had he not a Supreme Being to refer to; and will has it been said, that if there had been no God, mankind would have been obliged to imagine one." - - George Washington

01-08-2006, 12:36 AM	#7 (permalink)
akqrate Ear-candy Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: These streets below the moon Posts: 401	Oh ok, thanks Nebulaz, i'll keep a lookout for u from now on. Realms, thank you so much for giving an indepth reply and props for identifying with the piece. I am strong enough, wasn't always, but now all the pain is hidden behind a sugary, happy exterior. And I can manage it. Anyways, any other takers? Uppin! __________________ Love, a game where the devil rolls the dice Not knowing when we threw ourselves in To keep our fire ablaze... akQrate

01-04-2006, 12:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
Definit_ P0ETiiCLiiCHE' Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: "Im From The State That Is IL" Posts: 206	She… She talks of things wise But dismissed as falling stars, She lives in someone else’s skies. She… She makes wine from waterstreams But “wiser” words crack her frame, Extinguishing the flame of her dreams. I Like This Piece Alot..I Can Definately Relate Its Real Beautiful..Soothing, And Just Gives Off A Breezy Vibe(If That Makes Sense) You Got Skills, Stay Up 1-

01-07-2006, 02:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
RealMS Pro 31 Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Lafayette/New Orleans, LA Posts: 4,232	Every last line in the piece is pretty self-explanatory for what I was feeling after reading what you wrote right before the poem. You know in your heart that what's going on isn't just, and I think she knows as well. But that's a, well-messed up situation for her to be in. That sucks. I'm sorry you gotta go through it as well, its almost like you're stuck in the middle and can't do anything to make it less severe. Everything has its consequence though. I hope you stay strong through this ordeal. I like the title too now that I've read this. Keep writing bro. And yeah they reset the little reputation thing not too long ago. -Much Love

01-15-2006, 03:43 AM	#8 (permalink)
Bhitiah Powerful Scriptures Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,168	still lmfao @ RealMS... She… She makes wine from waterstreams But “wiser” words crack her frame, Extinguishing the flame of her dreams. She… She sacrifices her life for a tiara But by agreeing to agreements, She vanishes in every mirror. That was tight ....Good peice man, Stay up. __________________ You can bomb the world to peices, but cant bomb into peace

01-23-2006, 11:57 PM	#9 (permalink)
SAMARA myspace.com/ameliatricia Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,071	nice drop. fav lines: She…She talks of things wise But dismissed as falling stars, She lives in someone else’s skies. __________________ "… to the man who is actually in the arena... his place will never be with those timid cold souls who know neither victory nor defeat." Climbing out of the hole and leaving the whispers behind. idiom I realized the high road is idealistic and we are lowly creatures, everyone. The only difference is some are able to walk and not crawl, nor squirm on their belly. You decide.

02-02-2006, 12:04 PM	#11 (permalink)
skandelous_lala back from the dead Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Hey! Fuck you and the horse you rode in on! Posts: 26,707	Lovely. This says all that it needs to say...IMO it's perfection. __________________ ALL YOU REALLY KNOW IS WHAT I CHOOSE TO SHOW Good Mourning, Good afternoon, Good nite, what have you done with your life?. Everybody's time comes to be embraced by the light you only afraid to die when you ain't livin right

02-03-2006, 09:34 AM	#12 (permalink)
misspimp a.k.a KATURAH Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Virginia Is For Lovers Posts: 1,308	I have to agree with realms...i did like the poem more after reading what you wrote at the top. but anyhoo....this is a sad situation....hopefully u and home girl will get thru....God will never put more onme that I can bare. mad love __________________ MAD LOVE "Never to suffer would never to have been blessed" ~THE LATE GREAT ~ ~EDGAR ALLEN POE ~

02-07-2006, 03:58 PM	#13 (permalink)
Jello/Jelly Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 37	ohh la la...i like it..very mysterious feeling as well. hopefully it ISNT a life situation

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