01-01-2006, 02:10 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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I'm Pretty
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: North Memphis BITCH!
Posts: 17,145
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Poem Of The Month: December
Congratz to Bhitiah
I Made A Mistake
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Bhitiah
Sometimes, I wish I didnt know,
What being a parent felt like..
So I wouldnt know
The mistake I made
That cold January Day
So many years ago,
Alone
Staring at cold linolium
eyes shifting quickly
to plain ceiling tiles..
Begging for it to stop,
In my head..
To afraid to admit,
This wouldnt have been a mistake
This child we created,
So young yet old enough...
So afraid,
I wouldnt have enough love,
for this baby growing
heart beating
needing comfort
from me..
I know now,
It's hard to get by
a peice of love missing from my life
I sometimes talk at night
not to anyone in particular,
afraid to admit your real
yet hoping my words catch your ears
hope your still willing to listen,
after all these years,
watching me cry all these tears
feeling sorry for myself..
Selfish,
but I dont know what else to do
To make it through
I look at your two brothers
and I see you...
January 19th 1999,
It snowed for a moment
around that time..
Then
March 8th 2002,
at 8:59
Snow started falling quietly
from a soft late winter sky
I cried,
The birth of him
Reminded me of you..
Then
November 5th 2005,
The rain fell hard on the concrete
trying to turn itself into snow..
but it's efforts only returned Ice..
And I cried,
Even harder
it reminded me of the day,
I denied you life...
Lately I've been
Taking his eyes
and his nose
and their lips
and putting them together
seeing if there's any resemblance
to the little baby that visits me
in my dream's
as i dig myself deeper
into this hole
I've been digging in my heart
since that cold winter mourning
Baby,
I made a mistake,
But it wasnt you..
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__________________
"Everybody wanna be a nicca, but don't nobody wanna be a nicca"-Paul Mooney
"I tried to live right, but society aint made for niccas to live right"-Joe Budden
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