visors and pokerchips

[The Pharcyde]

the day opens like a convertible
Benz...top down…sunset
reduced to an iridescent band
along the candy paint

the sky heavy with the promise
of rain...your head packed with
thoughts elbowing their way
around each other…thinking

if you were on good terms with
the woman you're dating
you wouldn't be sitting alone
watching the lovers outside
through a Starbucks window

you’re familiar with the situation
well enough to almost offer it
a seat…swishing cold Chai around
the base of a paper cup

something about being the only
one trying...while she appears
to careless

you'd rather be stretched out
somewhere with her...instead
of listening to the young boy
yell Venti Caramel Macchiato!
over whining cappuccino machines

a couple holding hands across
the table smiling at each other
you can't help but question the gods
with their visors and poker chips
obscured by the veil of smoking cigars

[Quotive]

I've been watching poker a lot recently on ESPN, and the Travel channel. It's exciting to me, I don't know why..

"if you were on good terms with
the woman you're dating
you wouldn't be sitting alone
watching the lovers outside
through a Starbucks window"

Dope stanza. It's like wanting something better than what you have... I can relate.


Good poem, man. Not much else to say here

[Mind~$oul]

Great poem man! You always have a way with your imagery, that just grabs and pulls the reader inside of the situation. Quotive stole my favorite stanza, but there was another one that stood out to me a lot as well.


"something about being the only
one trying...while she appears
to careless"

^I've been actually the one to careless. Just being out there in my own world searching for something when what I've been lookin for is staring me right in the face. It's just a strange impulse.

One luv

[RealMS]

Hmm I tend to think overboard about some things but nonetheless this was a bit interesting.

Every stanza made me see a different scene.
1st stanza: you're driving "into the sunset" on one of those curvy roads catching the cool wind.
2nd stanza: you're in the city walking around observing things and not really having an exact place to be, the sky has an overcast and it blocks the sun from shining but you can see an outline of the sunshine behind one of the clouds.
..all the rest is self-explanatory lol

but I liked your second stanza most. Keep writing.

-Much Love